oliver9184

Since leaving school years ago I've occasionally regretted not daring to be badder behaved. Watching Donnie Darko the other day jogged the notion back into my mind - the scene where he argues with the dumb teacher (Kitty is her name I think) about some senseless exercise in her BS class. If you're naughty at school up to a certain level there's not really any serious consequences, probably your parents getting told would be the worst. I would always look on as other kids did bad stuff, getting thrills by proxy but never daring to directly perpetrate trouble myself.

The worst thing I did was not at all cool. A boy somewhat younger than me was somehow winding me up, and I got in a bit of a temper and picked up something from the floor and threw it at him. It was a drill bit or something similar and it hit his cheek really near his eye and he burst into tears and ran to the nearest teacher. I talking-to by the stern head of year was the worst that happened to me, apart from feeling guilty.

Most of the trouble that came my way wasn't even justified. In reception class (aged about 6) a boy broke some pencils and said it was me that did it. My parents got told about that and my mother had to buy two new pencils for the school. Later on in high school, in a bullshit class called "life skills" someone wrote a 'D' next to my name in the register knowing that the teacher, an slow-witted character with the inappropriate name of Mr Warrior, did so when he gave someone a detention. I protested that there was no proper reason for it, and even challenged him for the reason, but he remained adamant - for the sake of saving face in front of the class I guess. There being a 'D' next to my name was reason enough for him. It was a clear miscarriage of justice and the whole class knew it. I might as well have actually done something bad and gotten it for a good reason!

So here's where I'd like to read about what bad stuff everyone did at school - or if you weren't bad, then what stuff people you knew did. Or if no one did bad stuff then things you wish you did but, like me, you were too scared.

BadNick

I was one of the gooder kids, both behaviorally and academically, so I really didn't get into much trouble, usually. Two exceptions I can think of:

In first grade, so I was 6 y.o., I started a "woman haters club" since the girls were mean and made fun of some of us boys. We decided we needed a nicely decorated club house, which was really the unused garage behind my friend's house. One night I lied to my dad and told him we needed decorations for our classroom and could he make us a bunch...he was an artist and always doing decorations, paintings, posters, etc. for the school, boy scouts. So he stayed up late and made a bunch of really nice cutouts to hang on the classroom wall...errr club house wall. Well the next day I'm showing some of the guys the decorations in my desk and one of the girls squeeled on us and told the teacher...these were Catholic parochial school nuns, who proceeded to march me up in front of the class, smack my face around a couple times and saying "do you realize that the Blessed Mother is a woman...do you hate her too?..." well after that I'm surprised I didn't end up being a serial killer. Somehow I got over that episode and the boys and girls lived happily ever after.

A few years later, I was 11 yo and in the Boy Scouts and our weekly meetings were in the basement of our "old" school building. So we're running around, hiding, playing tag and I decided it would be cool to turn off all the lights, so I pulled the big lever on the main fuse box and all the lights went out. We had some fun with that and later one of the leaders just turned it back on. Well the next day I'm sitting in class and our nun teacher steps out into the hallway for something and when she comes back in she has a pretty nasty look on her face and is bending her pointer finger calling me outside so I figured there's trouble but I had no idea what. Out in the hallway I see the pastor of our parish..so he's the biggest big mahoff, and he tells me that the prank I played the night before resulted in all the lights in the convent and rectory to go out and there was generally panic and fright among many nuns and priests due to my evil deed. They decide the proper punishment is for the Mother Superior chief head honcho nun to give me a few whacks with the long rubber hose she has in her office just for such purposes. This was the first time I personally experienced the legendary "hose"...didn't really hurt much and since the Mother S. knew my family very well I think she even had a sense of humor about the whole thing, though she tried to hide it, so she didn't hit me as hard as she could have.

Other than that, I was just about perfect.

In the "wish I did it" category, one of the "bad boys" in 7th grade and one of the girls in class had sex in our classroom during lunch break, so when that got out we were all jealous of his "success".

snowy

I've had it easy my whole life when it comes to discipline in the school setting, and I'll cop to that. Why? My dad is a high school principal. When I was young, he was the principal of the only high school in our small-town district. When I was older, we moved to a larger school district, but the administrators at my schools (my dad was never my principal) all knew my dad. I never ever in a million years tried to exploit my status as his daughter; I was just given the benefit of the doubt many times. Mind you, I never got into serious trouble as I never did anything truly bad. Skipping classes was probably the worst of my offenses in junior high and high school. Skiving my zero period at the senior high school got me into a bit of trouble with my parents and my dad tried to get my junior high school to punish me over it, but that didn't really work out because my assistant principal thought that I'd learned my lesson (I swore up and down that I had) and didn't insist that I serve detention. Similarly, in 11th grade the high school assistant principal caught me hanging out in the commons when she knew full well I had algebra 2. Did anything happen? Nope.

Also, in elementary school I clocked a guy in the nose who had been harassing me for weeks at recess. My father had instructed me to 1) tell him to stop it, 2) inform the playground assistant if he didn't stop it, and finally 3) to punch him in the nose if he didn't quit it after those two steps and if the playground assistant hadn't effectively put a stop to it. Given that my bases were well covered, my principal couldn't do anything but laugh when I got sent to his office. He called my mom up and informed her that he couldn't punish me if he tried--I reminded him too much of his wife when they were kids.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

uncle phil

i gave a kid a bloody nose on top of the indoor slide in kindergarten...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fremen

I didn't really ever get into any bad trouble as a student in grade school, but I very well could have.
I once brought my Ruger 9MM to highschool in my book bag in the late 80's, as a kind of dare to myself.
I never showed it to anybody so there weren't any consequences, but when I now think about what could've happened, I thank my lucky stars.

I took a new knife to school, too. It was stolen out of my bag. Karma, I guess.

I never was suspended or sent to detention, but I was sent to the principals of all three schools for paddlings from each.
For the life of me, I can't remember why. Probably backtalking.

Funny thing about the gun thing, I ran into my debate teacher at the gunshow the day I bought the Ruger. I showed it to him in the parking lot. (giggity)
I had it in the bag in his class.

I still call myself a dumbass over the weapons.

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SecretMethod70

The worst? I suppose that would be junior high when a friend and I were waiting after school for his mom to pick us up. We had stayed after school for math club (yes, really) and so it was late in the afternoon and we were the only two people left. Even most of the teachers had gone home by that time.

So, we're waiting for our ride, goofing off, and he closes the entrance while he's inside, leaving me locked outside. Or maybe he was holding it shut, I don't remember, but I think yes, he was holding it shut. Anyway, I get the brilliant idea that I can take advantage of his reflexes and pretend to jump kick toward him and cause him to back away from the door, thus giving me the ability to get back inside. Well you can imagine, my well thought out plan did not go as intended, and instead of pretending to drop kick the glass door in front of his face, I did drop kick the glass door in front of his face!

He was fine, though he had lots of glass shards all over him because it was one of those glass doors with the wiring in the glass. And, of course, the door was destroyed. We panicked for a second and, in retrospect, we probably could have gotten away with going to the other end of the school and pretending we had nothing to do with it. We were good little boys though, and went to find one of the remaining teachers and confess our (my, really) transgression. My family ended up paying 2/3 of the cost while his family paid the other 1/3.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

SaltPork

When I was in 8th grade I was a bit troubled. I had moved in 6th grade from a place that I loved, had tons of friends and then moved and had no one. The friends I did make were mostly the outcasts, which kind of sucked, but they were at least good friends and stuck by me. I was taking Latin and my teacher yelled at me for talking and I exploded and yelled back. She pushed me, and I went blind with rage and pushed her back. I snapped out of it into that "holy shit" moment. I should have been expelled, really, but my mom was thankfully the president of the PTO and saved my sorry ass. I spent 20 days in detention for that little stunt.

After that I got into a lot of fights, most of which I won, but not without some bruises and bleeding of my own. We moved again the next year and things straightened out, though I wasn't about to tolerate anyone else's bs. I had a few scuffles early on, with the bullies picking on the new kid. I picked the easiest one of the bunch and got into a fight with him after lunch one day and broke his nose...there was a LOT of blood. After that kid disappeared I was approached by 5 of the largest humans I had ever seen in real life before. they said "did you break xxx's nose?" I calmly replied, "yes, and i will do my best to do it to anyone else" apparently, I "passed" and never had a problem with any of them for the rest of HS. It was almost like a prison yard in that way. i gained respect that day and had no more issues at all with that group. In the meantime i started working on my David Banner like rage issues. Great learning experience, but damn, it sucked. I still wouldn't have traded it out for the easy route of turning the other cheek. that just doesn't work.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

girldetective

Spent many a Friday of 8th grade in detention.
Usually for my mouth.
I wasnt trouble so much as I was naive.

Some things never change.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Merlocke

Once during English class, I was able to actually fit the words "Ear Hair" into every sentence the teacher said. Not that it's that funny just doing the act, but the fact that it drew attention to the fact that the teacher had quite a bit of ear hair.

The next class, I continued the whole "Ear Hair" pattern, and it was even funnier as he'd only managed to clip the ear hairs on one ear, but neglected the other side completely. Naturally, this made everything even more hysterical. And the class just laughed even harder. Naturally I was sent to detention for this. Oh so totally worth it.

Wasn't the worst thing I'd ever done, but still very memorable. I couldn't breathe from all of the laughter. Best ab workout I've had in a long time.

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-=[ Merlocke ]=-

Willravel

I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown, some homeless people—maybe 5 or 10—, an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man... some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and someone else was there I can't remember. Maybe a model? ...but she's dead, too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little.

Somehow I didn't get in trouble. Was it all in my head?

SSJTWIZTA

i said it in the chat once a long time ago. i guess that i will repeat it here.

when the high school resource officer tells you to put out the cigarette, don't tell him you suck your balls.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Wes Mantooth

I never really made it to the juvenile delinquent level but I suppose I had my fair share of scrapes with "the man", never anything really serious though. Most of my stunts just resulted in detention or the occasional suspension and not much more.

Probably the worst for me was sophomore year of high school when I just decided one day that gym was a complete waste of time and spent pretty much the whole semester in the woods behind the school smoking weed with some of the band geeks. I never got in trouble for smoking the pot but at some point my gym teacher realized I hadn't attended class in about 2 months and had a hissy fit over it...really its gym...keep things in perspective. Knowing how to roll and smoke a joint has been vitally important to my growth as an adult, wind sprints and how to keep a bowling score, not so much.

Anyway if I remember right I got a few Saturdays out of it, skipped the last one and got a weeks suspension (to this day I still can't figure out how thats a punishment). The following semester I pulled the same stunt and nobody ever noticed...honestly I didn't attend one class and still received a grade for it. Public education at its finest folks.

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biznatch

I was a good kid, just talked back all the time. Since I changed school every 3 or 5 years, I had to adapt quick, and I guess I did. So I always had a reply, funny or not, when the teacher spoke.
One of them said I had mastered the art of walking along the edge without ever falling, since I was good at pushing their buttons and keeping them on edge, but not enough to get in real trouble.
I wish I had been more of a "badass" at times too, though.

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robot_parade

Heh. The worst trouble I got into in HS was using a graphing calculator during a 'pep rally'. No joke. I got suspended for 'not participating'.

The second-worst trouble I got into was when a teacher found The Terrorist's Handbook on my person. I can't imagine how lucky I am that this was before Columbine/911. I would have been *so* screwed if it had been post-columbine. As it is, I just got a talking-to from the assistant principal.

The third-worst trouble that I *almost* got into was having some 'centerfolds' from a few Playboys I'd acquired somewhere in my backpack. I somehow managed to talk my way out of getting my bags searched on the spot when someone caught a glimpse. I can't even recall why I brought them to school.

Good times.

clavus

Built a snow penis during a snowman-building-contest. Tried to explain that my snowman was on his back.

I got busted by the Vice Principle, bypassed the Principle, and had to get a talking to from the Superintendent of Schools.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

BulletCatcher

My parents sent me to a private academy my junior and senior years of High School. I had no desire to be there and was pretty much in constant trouble from the first day I arrived. Knowing that my parents spent a lot of money and pulled quite a few strings to get me in I tried not to go to far lest I be sent packing but I was definitely an outsider there and never really fit in with most of the rest of the students.

I succeeded in just being a pain in the ass but not a troublemaker until about mid way through my senior year. I was friends with another 'outsider' who was only there as a favor to his parents as well. One of the other student's mom saw my friend smoking in his car at night, off campus after school hours and reported it to the administrators. My friend was promptly expelled (they had a strict no tolerance tobacco and alcohol policy).

A couple of months later, two freshman girls were caught smoking in a bathroom by one of the administrators. Turns out these two girls were daughters of two of the more prominate alum and biggest donors to the school and they were both given only 1 week of detention.

This did not sit to well with me and being the editor of the school's newspaper at the time I decided to write and editorial about how it appeared that the handing out of punishment was based less on seeing the guilty pay for there actions but rather on how much money and influence they or their families had. Of course the editorial was rejected and I wrote some fluff piece to be used.

Just as the issue was sent off for printing, I switched copies and my original editorial was printed instead. I was initially expelled once the paper was delivered but due to a unexpected outcry of support from the rest of the student body and many of the parents and alum my expulsion was overturned and I ended up receiving a only 1 week suspension and was barred from attending graduation .

Lasereth

I never got into trouble really. I was very self conscious about my appearance and what others thought about me in school and I never wanted to draw negative attention to myself so I was a wimp for the most part.

Buut once in Electronics II I said I was going to get a drink before class started to the teacher. He said well if you don't make it back before the bell rings then you'll be tardy. I said ok, we get 5 per semester, I don't even have 1, so I'll risk it. Well I went to get a drink and sure enough I was late on the way back with 2 of my classmates. The teacher wouldn't let us in the door! I was like ok, what now then. He said we had to write sentences as a punishment. I said wait, you said we'd get a tardy, you didn't say we would be punished. So the teacher said to write "I will not be late for class over a drink" 100 times. Well the 3 of us were pissed so we took 1 sheet of paper out and wrote "I will not be late for a class one hundred times" on it and gave it to him and he sent all 3 of us to the principal's office ha ha ha ha ha

When we got there the principal talked to us and I was like hey guess what, I've never been tardy to any class, ever, in my 12 years of school, this is the first one, and I knew I might be late but risked it. And she said to go back to class and tell him that, so I did, and that was it.

The other time I got in trouble was over something stupid but funny. One time I drove my grandpa's truck to school. It was a 1973 Chevy Super 10 Cheyenne and had straight pipes for exhaust. The ricers in their 2000 S10s were revving up to 7,000 RPMs after school one day so I floored it going by them, got up to about 30-40 MPH in the parking lot on the way out. Then one of the top admin staff (sorta like an assistance principal) caught me on the way out and flagged me down. He said, "Son, I don't wanna see you driving this truck here for a week."

So the next day I got my brother to drive us to school ha ha ha ha. On the way out after school the same guy stopped us and was like "Son I told you not to drive this truck to school for 1 week." And I said "That's my twin brother, I'm not driving, just like you said." And then he said "why don't you come to the principal's office tomorrow morning and we'll handle it right there." Well I told my parents the story and they were mildly disappointed in me, but I admitted that I made a stupid decision, and I DIDN'T in fact drive the truck to school (my brother did), so they were gonna go to the school with me and talk to the assistant principal. We go in the next morning and the AP is like I told you not to drive the truck for 1 week and you drove it anyway. And I said that was my brother, not me. And he said well sometimes The Hand of God touches more than 1 person during a punishment. My stepmom was like "Hold on, who said anything about God, don't be ridiculous -- you told him not to drive the truck, he didn't, and that's the end of it. They are twins, but they're not the same person, you need to be more clear with your punishment next time. Are we done?" We were done. I've never been more proud of my parents.

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"A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert

little_tippler

clavus, you never fail to deliver!

My worst...hmmm.

Throwing a chair at a guy in my class who was being a dick. Got talked to by the principal. Since I didn't actually hit him (much) with the chair it blew over.

Cutting class and walking out of the school pretending to the security guard I had a doctor's appointment. Nobody caught me for that one.

Can't really remember much more. I was a good girl overall. I have no regrets about not behaving badly more. I am who I am and that's a good thing.

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Lindy

I liked school, I liked learning, school was a good time for me. I goofed off a bunch, and I realized that if you didn't do anything really bad, you could get away with lots of little shit. I was a band geek, an honor student, didn't drink or do drugs, and except for being an easy touch for sex, I was miss goody two shoes. One time one of my friends and I switched the BOYS and GIRLS signs around on a couple of restrooms. It was the day of a speech/debate contest, so of course all the kids from other schools read the signs, but all the locals just went to the restroom they'd always used. Lots of screaming girls, and laughing guys til the principal had the janitor lock the restrooms. Didn't get caught either.
The most trouble though was when one day after school I hit hard on the band teacher. He was in his mid twenties, gorgeous, hot, let the kids call him by his first name, and I just wanted him. And what Lindy wants, Lindy gets. So I thought at seventeen. After school I went into one of the practice rooms, took off my bra under my tee shirt, and put it in my purse. Then I went into his office, where he was sitting slouched in his chair facing the computer screen, and I just kind of draped my boobs over his shoulders. He looked at me in the mirror on his desk and said "Lindy, what are you doing?" and I said something to the effect that he should lock the door and pull the shade, I had something I wanted to show him. He said "Lindy, wait, I have to go to the bathroom." and walked out the door. Then he went and CALLED MY DAD who walked in the door about ten minutes later. I was mortified! I adore my Dad and I could tell the he was so hurt and...disappointed in me. I was grounded for the rest of the year --about six weeks. Took my car away. Made me do volunteer work at a nursing home. We laugh about it now, fifteen years later, but God, was I in the doghouse. Five years later he (band director) sent me a card for college graduation and wrote a nice note about how I was one of his favorite students, and thanking me for helping him in his personal growth. I cried and cried and cried. And writing this I'm sniffing, and my eyes are all misty.

I'd talk about this in Sexuality, but there's no sex in it.

Lindy

robot_parade

Now *that* was awesome. Good for him. Also, as the father of a (*way*) preteen girl, I can only imagine how much it would suck being in your dad's shoes that day. And I hope I never have to find out.

Shadowex3

I'm going out on a limb and assuming based on Oliver's post that "trouble" also includes instances where actions are taken against you by school officials even if you didn't break the rules.

I can actually give a megapost from grade 1 to grade 9 about all the times I've spent in worse trouble than pretty much every other example here so far, but that's more for a "Chronicle abused childhoods" emothread.

Everything taken altogether I'd say the worst "trouble" I've gotten into would be a combination of a longest-running-detention-ever and the time I was blamed for someone trying to rape me in the locker room in middle school. The second led directly into the first in one long clusterfuck of epic proportions.

After this one dick tried to force me to suck his, and I was the only person to walk away from that unassisted, a rumor was started that I was going to Go Columbine on the school. Since I was a computer nerd, gamer, and a jew and this was in a heavily racist school after 9/11 the administration bought it and blamed me for the attempted rape claiming I shouldnt antagonize people.

Following the billion "Threat Risk Assessments" I wound up wading into a particularly nasty attack on some Sikh and Hindu students (not even the right race...) which resulted in some serious ass-kicking in all directions they hired a teacher full-time to do nothing but follow me around.

Officially he was a bodyguard due to all the race motivated assaults in the school. Unofficially I spent 4 years with someone following me around to make sure I didn't kill anyone.

It doesn't sound like much but the "fighting" was less Porky's and more 300, and being escorted around 24/7 was less secret service and more personal simon-says.

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