never happened, but i've come close more than a few times.

had a cut and bruise for like a week

Once caught a fair sized chunk of nutsack in the flies (not quite a 'Mary moment) while zipping up in busy nightclub toilet. Fortunately I was off my face at the time and felt no pain until the next day.

Had a nasty scab for about a week that itched like a mofo.

I dont wear underwear, and have had that happen a time or ten.. all I have to say when it happens is


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

THAT HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last week.. had to take a crap.. jumped up when the phone rang.. zip.. "omfg.. im a nuter.. noooo.." my wife falls to the floor laughing

man.. i was whacking it one day and decided to put my pants on after whacking it

I wasn't in a hurry or anything, but i decided to go commando.

My thang wasn't quite as un-erect as i figured i guess, so when i did up my zipper, i caught a little bit of it. Fuck did it ever hurt!!!

It didn't cut anything and i wasn't in pain for longer than 2 minutes, but that was some pain i tell ya.

Two words:


BUTTON FLY.

How did you get the frank above the beans?