jnthnlllshprd

beware of indulging yourself.. wanted to BS online with some people I feel I can relate to..

my roommate moved out, so my bills have doubled.. fortunately, I'd managed to save up around 300 bucks for emergencies, and my current job barely covers my minimum expenses, which were wisely streamlined and simplified a long time ago. no credit card, no loans, nothing like that ever... unfortunately, I can't stock up on the little stuff I need.. paying car taxes from years ago, getting this Honda motorcycle I wanted, etc.

loving my job.. one of my co-workers got fired so there are only 4 of us now.. the plus side to that is 1.) more hours for me, and 2.) i'm next in line for Armed security. once I hit 21 (january 6th), I'm pouring my tax returns into a gun, ammunition for the class, and funding for the class itself (just to convince them to hire me for Armed). the downside? people are gonna think it's my fault, on the inside. I covered for him on a night that required all armed Officers, and if I had refused when he made the offer earlier that day, he wouldn't have lost his job (assuming he showed). However, he was already on thin ice for this kind of crap.

finally broke away from my bad habit.. haven't discussed it yet on this board, won't start now since I want to keep the mood positive..

scooter's running great, don't even want/need a car anymore.. made great strides in adapting to being so restricted in terms of transportation.. save alotta money with it. doesn't matter nearly as much that it's a chick-repellent.. I'm a simple guy.

getting myself under better control.. got my savings in a great hiding-place and haven't even felt tempted to fuck it away.. haven't delved into my bad habits and blown it on that, either..

kinda drunk right now, confiscated a bottle of Henessy from a customer.. went well, actually. told them I'd hold it at my checkpoint, and when they got back to it, they looked to have seen it wasn't there although I'd promised them I'd keep it there.. and they just shrugged it off or something. mighta vowed revenge on their way home, but whatever. i'm enjoying it and my ass is covered (knocking on wood) because it's supposed to be dumped if we find it. win-win. the garbage people stole it, I'll say. whatever, it's gone and I'm wasted on it, MOFO. lulz.

hit my 4-month mark at the club I work for.. finally feel like a real part of the family, and finally came outta my shell over the last few weeks.. bullshitting, taunting, flirting, and fucking-off like everybody else. makes me feel better about myself.

started this Ketogenic diet.. you don't count calories, you count carbs (and a gram of carbs is equal to a gram of sweetener.. it's all about convincing the body that Fat is it's primary fuel source so it doesn't ever burn muscle by searching for excess glucose.. Most refer to it as the Anabolic diet). You can have all the meat you want, plenty of liquor (liquor is low-carb, about 1g. per shot), and up to those 40 grams of carbs.. so a few cups of coffee is cool. I've been living on this diet for a long time, but now I'm pretty comfortable with it and haven't pissed a day away by drinking too much sweetened coffee or whatever, like I used to do. I down about a pound of meat (any kind, cooked from raw) every 6 hours or so, and I don't get hungry so much.. get a lot of protein, keep off any added bodyfat (I'm a stickler about fat.. love to pinch and pull, yet feel nothing beneath the skin).. muscles inflated well, steroid PCT going well.. yeah, I've done three cycles this year.. kinda regrettable, but the results are REAL. might go another cycle and actually get my diet RIGHT this time.. anyway, try this shit out. the basic rule is: don't consume any more than 40 carbs per day, and you'll be a fat-burning machine. it's pretty much factual at this point, and I learned through experience. It's extremely satisfying, not expensive at all if you buy raw (I make it on 35 bucks per week in groceries), and you get to eat all the steak, eggs, cheese, and what-have-you that you can consume. You'll be ripped and your body will be intent on burning fat to enhance muscle. For big-time dieters, this must be a miracle.. I get around 3,500 cals every day and I look like David Beckham. the funny thing about this diet is you never get cravings.. if anything, you're not really hungry when the planned meal-time arrives. A pound of cooked meat is about 1,000 calories, so I space it over 6 hour periods.. but when that six hours gets here, I'm still feeling too acidic to eat my double-sausage w/ cheese (mmmmmm ). all I still feel like taking in is water, or a capsule of noDoz.. sometimes I only make 2,000 calories because I either drink at night or just get too exhausted to stay awake long enough to get hungry. If there's a downside to this diet, it's that people will think you're weird for avoiding carbs, and they generally do, thanks to that damn Adkins crap (which offered unlimited sweeteners, so it's very different since there's no Ketogenisis involved).

didn't mean to rant about that one thing.. I've got a long history with Bulimia and I'm obsessed with my appearance, unfortunately.. thankfully, with Keto I've found the balance..

anyway, watching LA Confidential for the first time.. man, what happened to Russel Crowe? This, The Insider, A Beautiful Mind.. why can't he pull this kind of quality off nowadays? What a hell of a career. Also been a big Michael Mann spree.. the man is misunderstood, in my opinion. What a helluva director. As far as straightforward drama, nobody does it better, in my opinion. Collateral, Public Enemy, and Heat all down so far.. watching Miami Vice later. Man, this guy knows what he wants to do and then he goes even further. great, great filmmaker for people who like mature, dramatic films with criminal elements.

anyways, thanks to those who indulged..

what's the lowdown on your life nowadays?

Toaster126

Ooooh... I love un-sober conversations where people actually bother to talk about the important things and/or the things that are important to them!

I'm glad to hear things are starting to fall into place as you'd like. Hopefully you continue keeping whatever monkey was on your back away from your shit.

I'm in a weird transitional phase in my life right now as well. My main things I focus on right now are sorting out my romantic life, trying to gain more skills that make me more employable, and developing skills that will allow me to be self-employed. As I am one that does not usually share too much of what's going on inside, even to the semi-anonymous crowd of TFP and currently sober, perhaps I will elaborate on these another time. All I have now are cliches and paradoxes.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Salem

How's life... Interesting. At my parents house for christmas, which is jsut wonderful *sarcasm* No, it's not that bad. It's christmas so tolerance fluxuates. I got to feel my unborn neice or nephew kick the other day, which was amazing.


I need a job, really badly. So that is stressing me out. And I got 400 dollars for christmas that I'm not sure what to do with. Groceries, tuition, new laptop, sex toys for me and the gf? I'm not sure yet. Not at all.

On a higher dosage of mediccation, which makes me lazy and kinda lethargic. I've been playing The Sims 3 for 2 days straight and I can't stop. It's amazing.

I miss my girlfriend, and my bunny. A lot actually. But I'll get to se them both this week, which will be nice. Life in general is stressful, tired, and exciting.

Daniel_

Well Jonathan, it's OK here; thanks for asking.

__________________

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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Spartanx9

Life right now is kinda uneventful for the next few days.

My 21st birthday is in 14 days, and I need to find another job. They didn't keep any seasonal people at the toys r us that I worked at, so it's off to find something new in the new year.

loneviolist

Just got home from the parent's place. House is freezing. Need to start making some art, I've got a deadline coming up, and am drawing a blank completely on what to do.
On the bright side, got a pretty large bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream. WIN.