| loquitur |
10-30-2009 05:56 AM |
Can Martians sue in Human courts?
This may well be the sort of story that only a lawyer could find really amusing, but here goes anyway:
apparently, the rule in Ontario is that Martians can't sue in Ontario courts. The name of the case is Joly v. Pelletier , and you can read about it here. A quick excerpt from the opinion:
Quote:
Mr. Joly’s claims in these two actions, and in several others not currently before me, all centre on his firm assertion that he is not a human being; rather a martian. As I understand them, the nature of his complaints against the numerous defendants who include a number of doctors, medical facilities and government agencies is that they have conspired with the American government in its attempts to eliminate him and have otherwise taken various steps to interfere with his ability to establish himself and live freely as a martian....
Mr. Joly, in a well prepared, thoughtful argument submitted that he had evidence of falsification of records and related wrongdoing. On the pivotal point of Mr. Joly’s being in fact a martian Mr. Joly advised me that the only reason he was not now able to satisfy the Court that he is a martian, not a human, is due to the falsification of his D.N.A. test results by the Americans....
In my opinion there are at lease two reasons why the two Statements of Claim in question ought to be struck and the actions dismissed.
1. Neither pleading discloses a cause of action. While conspiracy to do harm to someone is the basis of many actions in this Court there is a fundamental flaw in the position of Mr. Joly. Rule 1.03 defines plaintiff as “a person who commences an action”. The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines person as “an individual human being”. Section 29 of the Interpretation Act provides that a person includes a corporation. It follows that if the plaintiff is not a person in that he is neither a human being nor a corporation, he cannot be a plaintiff as contemplated by the Rules of Civil Procedure. The entire basis of Mr. Joly’s actions is that he is a martian, not a human being. There is certainly no suggestion that he is a corporation. I conclude therefore, that Mr. Joly, on his pleading as drafted, has no status before the Court.
2.... I am satisfied that the claims are frivolous and vexatious and constitute an abuse of the process of this Court.... [W]ith all respect to Mr. Joly and his perception of reality, these actions are patently ridiculous and should not be allowed to continue as they utilize scarce public resources not to mention the time and money of the numerous defendants who have been forced to defend these actions.
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Back when I was in law school, a group of us used to have a good time tracking down and trading opinions in crank lawsuits. There was the "naturopath" who said he was being conspired against and was injured to the tune of $25 trillion, which was more than the country's GDP (apparently he thought his business would be very profitable); there was the guy who sued Satan, seeking an injunction against temptation; and on and on and on. It looks like the tradition still lives on among law professors. |
