Can Martians sue in Human courts? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

loquitur · 10-30-2009, 05:56 AM

This may well be the sort of story that only a lawyer could find really amusing, but here goes anyway:

apparently, the rule in Ontario is that Martians can't sue in Ontario courts. The name of the case is Joly v. Pelletier , and you can read about it here. A quick excerpt from the opinion:

Quote:

Mr. Joly’s claims in these two actions, and in several others not currently before me, all centre on his firm assertion that he is not a human being; rather a martian. As I understand them, the nature of his complaints against the numerous defendants who include a number of doctors, medical facilities and government agencies is that they have conspired with the American government in its attempts to eliminate him and have otherwise taken various steps to interfere with his ability to establish himself and live freely as a martian....

Mr. Joly, in a well prepared, thoughtful argument submitted that he had evidence of falsification of records and related wrongdoing. On the pivotal point of Mr. Joly’s being in fact a martian Mr. Joly advised me that the only reason he was not now able to satisfy the Court that he is a martian, not a human, is due to the falsification of his D.N.A. test results by the Americans....

In my opinion there are at lease two reasons why the two Statements of Claim in question ought to be struck and the actions dismissed.

1. Neither pleading discloses a cause of action. While conspiracy to do harm to someone is the basis of many actions in this Court there is a fundamental flaw in the position of Mr. Joly. Rule 1.03 defines plaintiff as “a person who commences an action”. The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines person as “an individual human being”. Section 29 of the Interpretation Act provides that a person includes a corporation. It follows that if the plaintiff is not a person in that he is neither a human being nor a corporation, he cannot be a plaintiff as contemplated by the Rules of Civil Procedure. The entire basis of Mr. Joly’s actions is that he is a martian, not a human being. There is certainly no suggestion that he is a corporation. I conclude therefore, that Mr. Joly, on his pleading as drafted, has no status before the Court.

2.... I am satisfied that the claims are frivolous and vexatious and constitute an abuse of the process of this Court.... [W]ith all respect to Mr. Joly and his perception of reality, these actions are patently ridiculous and should not be allowed to continue as they utilize scarce public resources not to mention the time and money of the numerous defendants who have been forced to defend these actions.

Back when I was in law school, a group of us used to have a good time tracking down and trading opinions in crank lawsuits. There was the "naturopath" who said he was being conspired against and was injured to the tune of $25 trillion, which was more than the country's GDP (apparently he thought his business would be very profitable); there was the guy who sued Satan, seeking an injunction against temptation; and on and on and on. It looks like the tradition still lives on among law professors.

SecretMethod70 · 10-30-2009, 06:50 AM

hah, awesome... I get some of these from my friends in law school from time to time. There are some crazy cases out there!

Plan9 · 10-30-2009, 08:36 AM

Hahaha, that's rich.

Xerxys · 10-30-2009, 08:46 AM

Some dude actually sued satan. I love this, I really do.

Martian · 10-30-2009, 08:56 AM

There's nothing funny about this blatant and egregious example of discrimination.

loquitur · 10-30-2009, 09:49 AM

Martian, I sympathize with your position. There was one Supreme Court Justice (William Douglas) who once wrote in an opinion that trees should have standing to sue. So that means even trees have a champion in the halls of justice, but martians don't. You're right, it's horribly discriminatory.

dlish · 10-30-2009, 07:12 PM

whyis it that illegal aliens can sue but martians not?

im with Martian here..trees illegal alients..but not martians

ObieX · 10-31-2009, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

whyis it that illegal aliens can sue but martians not?

im with Martian here..trees illegal alients..but not martians

Illegal immigrants that are human or corporations fall into the category of "person". Unfortunately until the legal standings are changed, martians who are not human are not considered a "person". If this individual had claimed to be a human from mars then he may have had a case. He went the extra mile, however, and claimed that he was not human.

According to Star Trek this will be a problem in the future with androids and holograms as well. Hopefully this martian will eventually find justice!

dlish · 11-01-2009, 10:06 AM

obie,

excuse my lack of LOL's, ROFLMAO's, sarcasm alerts.

i did two years of law at uni, so i understood the article. just some tongue in cheek sarcasm and a play on words gone wrong

wooÐs · 11-01-2009, 10:18 AM

why only 2?

MSD · 11-01-2009, 10:24 AM

When people do this kind of thing, I think it would be fair for the court to require them to have a psychiatric evaluation. Either some asshole gets hit with legal fees for wasting time, or someone who is genuinely mentally ill has no choice but to get the help they need.

dlish · 11-01-2009, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wooÐs

why only 2?

because i was doing a construction degree, not a law degree.

we focused on construction law more than anything else.

cyklone · 11-02-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loquitur

there was the guy who sued Satan, seeking an injunction against temptation; and on and on and on. It looks like the tradition still lives on among law professors.

This may well open up possibilities for a new movie " The Man Who Sued Satan." I wonder if Billy Connolly would take the role of that one?

10-30-2009, 06:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	hah, awesome... I get some of these from my friends in law school from time to time. There are some crazy cases out there! __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

10-30-2009, 08:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Hahaha, that's rich. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

10-30-2009, 08:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	There's nothing funny about this blatant and egregious example of discrimination. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

10-30-2009, 07:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	whyis it that illegal aliens can sue but martians not? im with Martian here..trees illegal alients..but not martians __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

11-01-2009, 10:06 AM	#9 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	obie, excuse my lack of LOL's, ROFLMAO's, sarcasm alerts. i did two years of law at uni, so i understood the article. just some tongue in cheek sarcasm and a play on words gone wrong __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

10-30-2009, 08:46 AM	#4 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	Some dude actually sued satan. I love this, I really do.

10-30-2009, 09:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
loquitur Junkie Location: NYC	Martian, I sympathize with your position. There was one Supreme Court Justice (William Douglas) who once wrote in an opinion that trees should have standing to sue. So that means even trees have a champion in the halls of justice, but martians don't. You're right, it's horribly discriminatory.

11-01-2009, 10:18 AM	#10 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	why only 2?

11-01-2009, 10:24 AM	#11 (permalink)
MSD The sky calls to us ... Super Moderator Location: CT	When people do this kind of thing, I think it would be fair for the court to require them to have a psychiatric evaluation. Either some asshole gets hit with legal fees for wasting time, or someone who is genuinely mentally ill has no choice but to get the help they need.