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-   -   Stranger allegedly slaps crying child (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/150707-stranger-allegedly-slaps-crying-child.html)

Manic_Skafe 09-03-2009 10:14 AM

Serves 'em right if you ask me. He should've slapped the mother afterward.

wooÐs 09-03-2009 10:21 AM

lol

I mean, *evil scowl.*

ShaniFaye 09-03-2009 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warrrreagl (Post 2698535)
Shani, Chris Rock sent me an e-mail and said he wanted me to post his reply to this thread for him.

"I'm not saying he should have killed her, but I understand."

I'll go along with that.


I thought Hulk Hogan said that?

ring 09-03-2009 10:31 AM

Manic, Are you serious? or are you joking here?


Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe (Post 2698553)
Serves 'em right if you ask me. He should've slapped the mother afterward.


fresnelly 09-03-2009 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye (Post 2698558)
I thought Hulk Hogan said that?

Hulk was paraphrasing a bit from Chris' act about OJ Simpson.

Vigilante 09-03-2009 11:47 AM

I get both sides of this. On the one hand, my wife and I literally ask for a new table at a restaurant if a child sits next to us and we don't have our food yet. They don't have to be crying, we just bail off to somewhere else and avoid irritation altogether.

On the other hand, slapping a child like that is out of control. If he asked the lady to calm her heathen, then left the area when she ignored him as well (and she would have) then the situation would have been defused. Honestly, being raised as I was, if a random man did that and I was a witness, I would been tempted to beat him silly. I would not have hesitated to restrain him, either way. You just don't do that. We don't have children, but if we did and that happened to my wife and child, I would hunt him down at night and beat him. I've cornered people for less.

Being beaten wildly as a child, anger, no... rage, comes from deep within when I see those things. Even thinking of the situation puts me in fight mode. I'm there right now.

dksuddeth 09-03-2009 11:58 AM

The idiot is lucky he didn't do that out here in TX. He'd have found himself with new orifice, .40 caliber sized.

Vigilante 09-03-2009 12:02 PM

Houston here, and yes, that would be an acceptable measure :)

Willravel 09-03-2009 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapiens (Post 2698286)
I don't want to sound like an internet tough guy, but if I were the child's parent, I would have probably attacked the man who hit my child.

I don't know the circumstances around what caused the child to cry, but I don't see how attacking a child is the appropriate response to that child crying.

This. Exactly this. The perfect response. :thumbsup:

thespian86 09-03-2009 12:30 PM

He should of slapped the mother.

Glory's Sun 09-03-2009 12:35 PM

yeah he should have slapped the mother, because it's everyone else's job to tell people how to parent other children.

:rolleyes:

Vigilante 09-03-2009 12:47 PM

Hi, I'm irritated that your child makes noise, so I'm going to cause you, as a woman, bodily harm.

Yep, makes sense. I've seen better judgment at the local bar.

genuinegirly 09-03-2009 12:59 PM

This guy has some anger issues.
He should stop shopping in a store that caters to financially-strapped young families like wal-mart if he doesn't want to hear a screaming child.

yournamehere 09-03-2009 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spindles (Post 2698292)
If you don't want to hear crying children, how about you stay home?

Right. Because we should all have to adjust our lives to accommodate the whims of every child.

That's certainly a great lesson to be teaching a kid. :rolleyes:

Not that I condone the slapping of a stranger's child, but I probably would have said something to the parent if it was that annoying.

LoganSnake 09-03-2009 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yournamehere (Post 2698639)
Right. Because we should all have to adjust our lives to accommodate the whims of every child.

That's certainly a great lesson to be teaching a kid. :rolleyes:

Not that I condone the slapping of a stranger's child, but I probably would have said something to the parent if it was that annoying.

Don't be upset if the parent tells you to go to hell.

new man 09-03-2009 01:41 PM

Quote:

Right. Because we should all have to adjust our lives to accommodate the whims of every child.

That's certainly a great lesson to be teaching a kid.

Not that I condone the slapping of a stranger's child, but I probably would have said something to the parent if it was that annoying
After all, two wrongs make a right.

vanblah 09-03-2009 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yournamehere (Post 2698639)
Right. Because we should all have to adjust our lives to accommodate the whims of every child.

That's certainly a great lesson to be teaching a kid. :rolleyes:

Not that I condone the slapping of a stranger's child, but I probably would have said something to the parent if it was that annoying.

Actually, we should all adjust our lives based on everything around us all the time.

A crying child is rarely doing so on a whim. Children are not adults and should not be expected to behave like an adult. I think it's really amazing that people expect a young child (especially a two-year-old) to learn behavior in one lesson. It takes months or years to learn that throwing a tantrum is not acceptable. Sometimes, it's never learned ... I've seen adults behaving as bad, if not worse, in public than my child ever did--and she threw some fits, let me tell you.

Let me pose the scenario this way:

The child was frustrated--either because it didn't get something it wanted; it was hungry; or it was uncomfortable. The child vented its frustration by crying/throwing a fit. A rather annoying but ultimately benign action.

The old guy was also frustrated--we are led by the article to believe he was frustrated by the crying child. The old guy vented his frustration by striking another human being; a defenseless human being at that.

Which is more acceptable?

mixedmedia 09-03-2009 02:40 PM

I'll reiterate. Crying is one thing, a tantrum is one thing. Allowing your child to cry or throw a fit for more than 10 minutes without removing them from the situation - forgive me, but there is no excuse for that. Ignoring them is not tending to them. And I am the mother of three children.

Manic_Skafe 09-03-2009 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring (Post 2698565)
Manic, Are you serious? or are you joking here?

Ring, I must confess to being much more interested in the fact that a case as blatantly open and shut as this can garner two pages worth of discussion than I am in the matter actually being discussed.

There really is but one sensible conclusion that any sensible person would arrive to. I don't get these threads.

Carry on.

spindles 09-03-2009 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yournamehere (Post 2698639)
Right. Because we should all have to adjust our lives to accommodate the whims of every child.

I was being a little tongue in cheek with my first reply. If I was in a cafe/restaurant/movie theatre and my kid was causing a ruckus, out we'd go and it would be dealt with away from others. In a shopping centre, I would finish what I was doing with every effort to calm the child. But as has been pointed out already, sometimes (toddlers especially) can be inconsolable. Are you suggesting I should drop everything and leave just for other shoppers piece of mind? Because that isn't going to happen.

savmesom11 09-03-2009 03:30 PM

1. I secretly want to slap other peoples kids in stores all of the time......

2. I WOULD have attacked the old geezer had he put his hands on my child...

3. Parents need to remember you run your kids - they don't run you! Which is in reference to the comment that parents should leave a store when their child acts up.....NO that is giving in and allowing your child to be the boss. I am certain a child that is raised this way is the same one that slaps their parents around when they are teen-agers.......How about taking your child into the bathroom and laying down the law in private?

4. Even worse to me is the parents that are screaming and cussing at their misbehaving children as if they have no common sense while walking through the store. Have some class.

5. Irrelevant but sort of on point - why would you ever slap a toddler across the face? How disgusting and disrespectful can a human being get. It's one thing to slap a hand or swat an ass but slapping a child across the face? WOW

hunnychile 09-03-2009 03:36 PM

I would have left the store as fast as my two little feet could carry me.

Crying &/or screaming kids are so damn annoying to me, I can't stand them or their parents.

It amazes me how many parents just shrug and act like it's no big deal!
The parents I've seen over the last 5-10 years are so spineless it's become pathetic.

Makes me more glad than ever that I never had kids - by choice. See, some of us have made good decisions regarding our mortality. (Or better yet, aren't defined by the kids every flippin' minute of every day.) I get So tired of covering for people at work who have to leave work early because little Johnny got in trouble at school, yet AGAIN.

Okay thanks, the vent is over. Whew!

ring 09-03-2009 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe (Post 2698680)
Ring, I must confess to being much more interested in the fact that a case as blatantly open and shut as this can garner two pages worth of discussion than I am in the matter actually being discussed.

There really is but one sensible conclusion that any sensible person would arrive to. I don't get these threads.

Carry on.

That sounds dismissive and rather arrogant.

I'd hoped you would stick around to discuss this.
The case may seem open and shut, but look at the responses.

I've seen more violence in this thread than was contained in the OP.

I've heard responses from those who were violently slapped as children
themselves. Perhaps we could discuss how these early childhood
experiences, might shape or color our opinions on this matter?

I've heard some talk about the major adrenaline rush
that they would experience if their children were threatened,
even though they basically espouse a mostly pacifistic mindset.

Violence begets violence.

Surely there can be more to this discussion than what you claim.

What is your sensible conclusion?

If it had been my child, (after she was slapped)
I would of swooped her up in my arms, and ran. I would of run
screaming, "Fear, fire, foes, rape, help help help.", at the top of my lungs.

savmesom11 09-03-2009 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake (Post 2698644)
Don't be upset if the parent tells you to go to hell.

:thumbsup:

Reese 09-03-2009 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guccilvr (Post 2698492)
I fully understand why people get annoyed at parents and children who are whining. I get it. In fact, I get annoyed at other people's kids because of the whining.. however, I'm not going to tell them how to parent or even come close to smacking their child.

There's a difference in letting the whining go on for a while and not doing anything about it, and someone just grabbing what they need and removing the child. I think that it's worse on a child in the long run if you continually move them out of the area because they are whining. That does nothing but teach them that if they don't like something, they can run away and go somewhere better. Yes I understand the whole "take them out to show it won't be tolerated" but in most cases, especially with children 3 and under, ignoring them does a better job of getting the point across. It's like a dog, you give it attention when it's doing something wrong and it reinforces the behavior, ignore it, and he'll get the idea that he shouldn't do it. Same goes, in a way, for children. Ignore their tantrums and deal with it appropriately when you get home or to the car and they'll get the point.

There is no excuse for what this guy did (if he did it). None. Nada. Zip. I don't care about his generation and all that, a child is still a child. You don't fuck with other people's kids.. and yeah.. I said it before.. I'll say it many times again.. he, or anyone else, better count their blessings that it wasn't my child. I'd gladly take a charge for protecting my kids.

I agree with Gucci. Ignoring problems TOTALLY make them just go away.(<--sarcasm) If you want to use a dog as analogy, Try punishing a dog for bad behavior he committed an hour earlier. The dog has no idea what you're talking about. It's the same with small children. If you want to teach a child that bad behavior is met with appropriate consequences, then it needs to be immediate.

I think we're all in agreement that his behavior was criminal. I don't think there's a man here that wouldn't have knocked his ass out had we witnessed it first hand.

Glory's Sun 09-03-2009 05:00 PM

So what you're saying Reese, is that taking a 2 year old child who is popping a wobbly to another area is teaching them that it's not ok to do that? Ok so you take said child to another area, and they keep bitching. Then what? You go to another spot? Then another? When does it end?

I'm not saying that a child shouldn't be removed in some circumstances and that the act of removing them doesn't work or have merit, and I used a poor analogy, however, when you don't give the act attention, it will usually calm down in less than 5 minutes. So people had to hear a toddler cry for 5 minutes. So fucking what. I fail to see how that 5 minutes has any significant impact on anyone's life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hunnychile
I would have left the store as fast as my two little feet could carry me.

Crying &/or screaming kids are so damn annoying to me, I can't stand them or their parents.

It amazes me how many parents just shrug and act like it's no big deal!
The parents I've seen over the last 5-10 years are so spineless it's become pathetic.

Makes me more glad than ever that I never had kids - by choice. See, some of us have made good decisions regarding our mortality. (Or better yet, aren't defined by the kids every flippin' minute of every day.) I get So tired of covering for people at work who have to leave work early because little Johnny got in trouble at school, yet AGAIN.

Okay thanks, the vent is over. Whew!

Apparently, some people never grow up if a whiny kid bothers them SO much that they have to leave a store. :rolleyes: A child doesn't have the mental capacity that an adult has. They don't have the reasoning. An adult has the ability to admit that a child may not fully understand why it is throwing a tantrum and just ignores it. It's not spineless at all to leave a store because you heard a child crying. No, not one bit. :rolleyes:

Some of us have made great choices in our mortality by having children. You don't like children..great.. good for you. Others may have chose to have children and that doesn't mean anyone is defined by them. We're still ourselves, but again, it's a child and cannot function as an adult. Kids will be kids.. they live and learn just as adults do, but at a different capacity and with a different viewpoint on the world. I'm sooo sick of covering people's asses at work because they are stressed or "don't feel good" or they just slack in general. Whew! Adults are just so awesome!

So yeah, while I may try to be considerate of other people when it comes to my toddler popping a wobbly, I'm not going to shed any tears if you or anyone else can't come up with the mental capacity to ignore it for 5 minutes.

mixedmedia 09-03-2009 05:17 PM

I'll take a moment to interject an example of taking charge of this situation:
Take your child to the car, strap them into their car seat and sit there with them until they decide to calm down. You are not teaching them that their behavior is going to get them a desired change of scenery. By ignoring their behavior and continuing with your shopping you are, in effect, telling them that it is ok with you. It's a simple technique and it works. Even toddlers can understand such a basic concept after two or three examples.

filtherton 09-03-2009 05:18 PM

Can I just say that the phrase "popping a wobbly" is new to me, and had I heard it without proper context I would have assumed it had an entirely different meaning?

Also, I think people who are passively hostile towards children are ridiculous. Sure, kids can be annoying. Everyone can be annoying. Conspicuous self absorption (as evidenced by loud crying in public places) is a characteristic that isn't unique to children. In fact, I would wager that most of the folks who can't stand kids are secretly envious of them because of how much slack kids typically get when it comes to conspicuous expressions of self absorption. This is especially evident in how closely folks who complain about whiny kids resemble whiny kids themselves.

Grow up. Kids are dumb because they don't know how not to be. What's your excuse?

Glory's Sun 09-03-2009 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia (Post 2698734)
I'll take a moment to interject an example of taking charge of this situation:
Take your child to the car, strap them into their car seat and sit there with them until they decide to calm down. You are not teaching them that their behavior is going to get them a desired change of scenery. By ignoring their behavior and continuing with your shopping you are, in effect, telling them that it is ok with you. It's a simple technique and it works. Even toddlers can understand such a basic concept after two or three examples.

and I'll interject that it's all relative to the child. For instance, my two kids are completely different. When my son was two, we were eating and he decided to pop the wobbly. After nothing would console him after about 2 minutes, (I try to be considerate to people eating) my wife took him to the car. He was even more infuriated and continued to cry for another 20-25 minutes. He didn't stop until we got home. I found that the best way to deal with him is to take him to the side, and get down to his level and find out what's wrong. Sometimes it may take a few minutes of talking for him to calm down but it works.

My daughter however, if she pops a wobbly in a store or anywhere else, she's usually looking for attention. She LOVES attention.. doesn't matter what kind..she just loves it. In her case, she'll stop in 5 minutes or less if I ignore her and don't pay attention to her tantrum and continue about my business. Now she's realizing that she won't get attention for acting up while we're out and she doesn't do it as often. Although, whoever coined the phrase terrible two.. must have foreseen my daughter :lol:

I really don't think there is any hard or fast rule on this.. it's just dependent on the type of archetype the child has and figuring out the best way to handle each child, because they are all different :)



and.. a big fucking AMEN to filtherton

mixedmedia 09-03-2009 05:57 PM

well, like I said, if the episode lasts 5-10 minutes and it's done with, then it's not really relevant to the issue that I'm talking about. I'm just speaking from the viewpoint of a shopper who has witnessed parents too many times wander around a store or sit in a restaurant with a child behaving like a lunatic while they either ignore or throw a 'stop that' at the child every five minutes or so. Granted, with all the tit-for-tat being exchanged on this thread regarding the issue of 'loud children' and whether people should be expected to tolerate them, at some point you have to admit that there are parents who are, in effect neglecting both their children and their parental responsibilities during these episodes. I mean...come on.

yournamehere 09-03-2009 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake (Post 2698644)
Don't be upset if the parent tells you to go to hell.

Actually, I'd kind of expect it.
Just like I expect the jerk down the street to get defensive when everyone complains about his dog keeping the whole neighborhood awake all night.

Some people's kids and pets can just do no wrong. I get it. ;)

DaniGirl 09-03-2009 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanblah (Post 2698649)
Actually, we should all adjust our lives based on everything around us all the time.

A crying child is rarely doing so on a whim. Children are not adults and should not be expected to behave like an adult. I think it's really amazing that people expect a young child (especially a two-year-old) to learn behavior in one lesson. It takes months or years to learn that throwing a tantrum is not acceptable. Sometimes, it's never learned ... I've seen adults behaving as bad, if not worse, in public than my child ever did--and she threw some fits, let me tell you.

Let me pose the scenario this way:

The child was frustrated--either because it didn't get something it wanted; it was hungry; or it was uncomfortable. The child vented its frustration by crying/throwing a fit. A rather annoying but ultimately benign action.

The old guy was also frustrated--we are led by the article to believe he was frustrated by the crying child. The old guy vented his frustration by striking another human being; a defenseless human being at that.

Which is more acceptable?

You are Awesome! Ive been reading this thread since it started and I have to say that your post is by far the best.

Now before I had children I used to look at the parents of crying children thinking " what is wrong with those kids, why don't the parents teach them not to do that". But now I understand. I have never dealt with my kids freaking out in a store, but I usually go shopping after my husband comes home so I can go alone. There was a time when Abby had an ear infection and right after her doctors appointment I had to go to the store to get her meds. I went in to pick them up and she was balling. An old lady in line at the pharmacy told me that I need to do something about my daughter. What the hell! My daughter was in pain and only one. What do people expect from parents? Its not always easy to get your kids to stop crying, especially when they are too young to understand that there crying is bothering people.:rolleyes:

Charlatan 09-03-2009 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia (Post 2698459)
I agree with Shani that a parent should not allow their child to go on and on in a public space without attempting to quiet them. It is very frustrating and annoying to hear a child screaming or crying uncontrollably while you look over and see the parent continuing to shop and doing NOTHING about it. It's both irresponsible parenting and rude. Young children (and sometimes not so young) sometimes cry or throw temper tantrums to relieve stress and it's ok to tolerate it - to a point. When it goes on past a reasonable amount of time and the parent is doing nothing to teach the child that it is inappropriate behavior - well, I don't blame anyone for being judgmental about it. It's never too early to encourage an awareness of respectful public behavior.

That said, I'm not of the mind that slapping anyone, particularly a child, particularly a toddler, is ever an appropriate response in any situation. If anything, it betrays a lack of discipline and self-control rivalled, perhaps, only by the ravings of an out-of-control child in a Walmart.

This is right.

The guy who did the slapping should have taken his frustrations out on the parent. Would asking her to take the kid out the store been too much to ask? Regardless, he removed *any* sympathy from me as soon as he struck the kid.

I don't know what I would have done in that situation but instinctively I would have protected my child... and that wouldn't have been pretty.

ametc 09-03-2009 10:45 PM

I don't know how many times I've wanted to do that.

invalidiuser 09-04-2009 08:46 AM

Should of slapped the sh.it out of the mother also knowing he was going to get slapped with a felon from the coppers. I blame the irresponsible mother in this case and in any other case. Parent's who don't know how to parent should stick the kid back in the wife's/girlfriends pussy. You both do not deserve to raise kids and should surrender the kid to child services.

Glory's Sun 09-04-2009 08:55 AM

and just how should one parent?

put muzzles on their children?

:rolleyes:

StanT 09-04-2009 08:56 AM

A) If my kid threw a temper tantrum in Walmart, I'd leave and try to settle them down outside.

B) If anyone struck my kid in a Walmart, they'd be wearing a golf club, baseball bat, or whatever was convenient.

mixedmedia 09-04-2009 08:58 AM

no, you heard him, gucci...you stuff them back up the wife/girlfriend's pussy... :paranoid:

I hope there's a manual...

LoganSnake 09-04-2009 09:00 AM

Sounds painful.

Glory's Sun 09-04-2009 09:02 AM

sounds rather ..messy also.

the WONDERS of science!


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