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Old 08-30-2009, 02:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
Eat your vegetables
 
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Ask an Ex-Mormon

I've been thinking about starting this thread since Dlish started his Ask a Muslim thread. Now that there are several others poppin up, I figured it was about time to jump in.

I was raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but left when I was about 21. I have a thorough understanding of the theology and culture behind the faith. I graduated from their high school Seminary program and went to Brigham Young University for two and a half years.

Feel free to ask me any questions about the Mormon faith - I'll do my best to respond.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Nope. I never was a missionary.

Women are permitted to serve missions starting at age 21 while men can go when they're 19. Typically women missions are more service-oriented and less door-to-door.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Is it true that the Book of Mormon once prohibited blacks from becoming members of the clergy?

I heard that this was the case, and was abolished because of civil rights movements. If this is the case, to me, it's like saying "God's always right, and all knowing, but has changed his mind about racism." Which doesn't pan out for me. I've asked many Mormons this question, but they always dance around the answer. I figure an ex-Mormon is more likely to answer straightforward on this.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Your friends likely danced around the issue because they didn't know the answer.

The Book of Mormon has never denied black men from being a part of the clergy. In one edition it stated that darker skin indicated a great sin in the ancestry, but this was altered in the early 1980s to reflect Joseph Smith's original translation. One of the first men ordained by Joseph Smith to the LDS Melchizedek priesthood was a black man, Elijah Abel. Black men were to be ordained alongside their white "brothers" for the first several years of the LDS church, but Abel seems to be the only man interested. It was only after Joseph Smith's death that Brigham Young decided to adjust the policy.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You know what, thinking about it, I think Jen said something along the same lines as you did once.

Thanks for the very clear answer, though, gg. I appreciate it.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Glad I could clarify things!
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Did you watch the South Park where they bashed Mormons? How did you feel about it? Was the way they presented how the religion was started pretty accurate?
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:50 PM   #9 (permalink)
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1. Have you heard the statistic that SLC is the largest market for anti-depressant drugs? How does this bit of information hit you? Do you think it is accurate?

2. How do you justify switching from one religion to another? I am not religious, so I do not sympathize with what religious people want out of life. I simply cannot understand how becoming disenchanted with one religion could ever result in the following of another.
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Ex-Mormon here as well. I got out when I was 15, but I stopped believing long before that. I was lucky to have been raised Mormon in California and not Utah.
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Old 08-30-2009, 06:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Here's a few questions: Why the "special" under garments?
Why don't the Mormon Churches have windows? Ones I've seen around northern CA. don't have any windows around the inside alter area/room. I've heard that real blood is involved in some special services...is THAT true??

Question 3: Is it true that wives can't get into Heaven without their husbands permission?
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Old 08-31-2009, 01:54 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Are many of your family members still active in the church? If so do they make attempts to pull you back in?
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Old 08-31-2009, 03:28 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Please tell us all about the special underwear. What is the purpose of it? Do you have any photos of the inside of the Mormon Tabernacle that you'd like to share?
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Old 08-31-2009, 06:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crack View Post
Did you watch the South Park where they bashed Mormons? How did you feel about it? Was the way they presented how the religion was started pretty accurate?
I haven't seen this episode.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halx View Post
1. Have you heard the statistic that SLC is the largest market for anti-depressant drugs? How does this bit of information hit you? Do you think it is accurate?
I haven't heard that statistic specifically, but I do feel it is accurate. I interacted with a graduate student who, for her research she tested prozac levels in water treatment plants in the western United States. Every plant she tested in Utah was 10x+ more than any other state. Her second highest concentrations were in Washington.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Halx View Post
2. How do you justify switching from one religion to another? I am not religious, so I do not sympathize with what religious people want out of life. I simply cannot understand how becoming disenchanted with one religion could ever result in the following of another.
I wasn't comfortable without religious tradition in my life. I looked around and I felt Catholicism spoke to me in a way that was entirely different and special. I enjoyed the structure, and comparatively there was a lot less guilt and commitment involved. Other Christian denominations seemed to loose an unregulated to me. I enjoy being able to walk into a mass, pray, take communion, and leave. I was free to stick around and sing in a choir if I wanted, but no one forced me into anything. I also really liked the fact that there were female altar servers.

---------- Post added at 07:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:18 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostgirl View Post
Ex-Mormon here as well. I got out when I was 15, but I stopped believing long before that. I was lucky to have been raised Mormon in California and not Utah.
Glad to hear I'm not the only one around here with a similar past. I was also raised in CA, and consider myself lucky.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hunnychile View Post
Here's a few questions:
Why the "special" under garments?
The garment is a symbol of the commitment one makes to God. It covers the parts of the body that are considered sacred.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hunnychile View Post
Why don't the Mormon Churches have windows? Ones I've seen around northern CA. don't have any windows around the inside alter area/room. I've heard that real blood is involved in some special services...is THAT true??
I have been to many Mormon churches where there are windows all over the chapel. There is no blood involved in any service.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hunnychile View Post
Question 3: Is it true that wives can't get into Heaven without their husbands permission?
No. Everyone goes to heaven, even non-believers.
There are 3 levels to heaven.
Celestial is the highest. Every well-intentioned LDS member who has all of their paperwork in order and has been through all of the prescribed ordinances will go here.
Terrestrial is the middle. Every good person will go here, whether they believe in God or not.
Telestial is the lowest. It's where all of the unrepentant murderers, suicides, and rapists go.
Telestial is supposed to be so wonderful that if anyone living on Earth caught a glimpse of it for a second, they'd kill themselves just to get there.

Celestial has three levels within it. The highest level is reserved for those who are married. You cannot get into that highest level without being married. This marriage must be between a man and a woman. Together you are supposed to create worlds and become God.

Outer Darkness is a place outside the levels of heaven. It is where only the LDS men who "deny their priesthood" will go. What it means to deny your priesthood is a matter of debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tully Mars View Post
Are many of your family members still active in the church? If so do they make attempts to pull you back in?
My mother, father, and most of my relatives on my father's side are still active in the church. My sister waffles between activity and inactivity but she chooses to raise her children in the church. They always ask me to come back. They often try to trick me into coming to a service. The last time I agreed to go to a service was their Easter service. I agreed to go because I was in town and my father was going to speak. They begged me for a month to come with them. I went. My father decided it was the perfect opportunity to trash-talk the Catholic church from the pulpit.

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Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
Please tell us all about the special underwear. What is the purpose of it?
The garments are white. They come in a variety of styles and fabric types. There are some that are one piece and others that are two pieces, some made of polyester, others cotton or silk. They are relatively diverse but they are only available for purchase at the temple. They are relatively inexpensive and will probably be given to you if you're too poor to purchase them yourself. When you purchase them you must present your current temple recommend to prove that you are worthy to wear them. They are considered sacred. If they begin to be threadbare, you must destroy them completely. I recall my mother taking a pair of scissors to them and saying a prayer as she was doing it - cutting them into pieces that were unusable for any purpose. I asked her why she didn't cut them up for rags like she did with other clothes and she responded that they were too special. The purpose of the garment is to remind you of the sacred covenants that you made with God at the temple during the endowment ceremony.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucifer View Post
Do you have any photos of the inside of the Mormon Tabernacle that you'd like to share?
Telephones, cameras, and any other electronic devices are not permitted inside the Mormon Temples after they have been dedicated. Before a dedication, they give tours of each temple and anyone can take a tour. Photographs are permitted and encouraged during this time. Usually a temple is open for tours for a month or two before being dedicated so everyone who is interested in learning about the temple can come and visit.
Here is a picture of the Celestial Room of the San Diego Temple:

The Tabernacle is an auditorium on Temple Square. It is open to anyone. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir gives performances in the Tabernacle almost every day. It has an impressive organ that is featured on the cover of every hymnbook. You have probably seen pictures of the interior of the Tabernacle. If you haven't, here are a couple:

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Old 08-31-2009, 07:21 AM   #15 (permalink)
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South Park Episode Player - All About the Mormons?
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Old 08-31-2009, 09:19 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Thanks GG, very enlightening and I appreciate finding out the truth, instead of all the weird rumors people seem to make up.

WOW, those Temples are nicely appointed.
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:35 AM   #17 (permalink)
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< threadjack >
I recently heard a song off of the album Workin' the Glory - Robert Lund's Totally Mormonic CD, which appears to be funny without being either insulting or cloying. Lyrics available at the link, for anyone interested.
< /threadjack >
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:45 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Is it true that Mormons are all about emergency preparedness? I was accused of being a Mormon when I made a custom survival kit for the car of my exwife.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:40 AM   #19 (permalink)
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What are the mainstream LDS thoughts on the perversion by the Fundamentalist LDS of the (and I'm using my term here since I don't know that there is an "official" one) "any man can be a prophet" proclamation/declaration? Clearly the mainstream church has, for the most part, set that aside, but how are the fundamentalists treated, if they're even mentioned?
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:41 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Are the mormons the ones that wear the funny underwear?
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:53 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Old 08-31-2009, 01:04 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Want a beer?
Se she is no longer a Mormon, but instead a Catholic, I would think the answer would be fairly obvious.
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Old 08-31-2009, 04:43 PM   #23 (permalink)
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1. Have you heard the statistic that SLC is the largest market for anti-depressant drugs? How does this bit of information hit you? Do you think it is accurate?
I am an ex morman myself and I completely believe this statement. What I remember most about this religion is the guilt that comes from it. I feel that a big part of this religion is based on guilt. That is why everyone needs anti-depressants, there is so much guilt and stress in the LDS religion. You are mainly taught what you shouldn't do and why you shouldn't do it. That is what I remember. GUILT.
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Old 08-31-2009, 04:47 PM   #24 (permalink)
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LDS rang my door bell tonight.

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Old 08-31-2009, 05:01 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Is it true that Mormons are all about emergency preparedness? I was accused of being a Mormon when I made a custom survival kit for the car of my exwife.
Yes! Having a 72 hour kit in your car is standard. Since the church is fixated on the end of the world including expecting massive natural disasters and war, it's encouraged to have a year's supply of food, a stash of seeds, barrels of water, and the skills necessary to live in a post-apocalyptic world.

---------- Post added at 05:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:52 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Jazz View Post
What are the mainstream LDS thoughts on the perversion by the Fundamentalist LDS of the (and I'm using my term here since I don't know that there is an "official" one) "any man can be a prophet" proclamation/declaration? Clearly the mainstream church has, for the most part, set that aside, but how are the fundamentalists treated, if they're even mentioned?
The fundamentalists are mentioned. They're under extreme scrutiny in an attempt to sic social services or police on them - there is a constant effort to break up their insular communities. There are numerous service organizations working to help the women who escape and the young boys who are abandoned by the FLDS.
Official stance: If you choose to follow the FLDS church, you are excommunicated from the LDS church.

"Any man can be a prophet" - it's interpreted to mean that any man or woman can be a prophet/ess to those directly under his or her jurisdiction. So, a Bishop is the prophet of his ward, a father a prophet of his family, a mother a prophetess over her children, and so forth. BUT you cannot receive revelation for anyone outside of your jurisdiction, and you can only advise, not command. Everyone has the right to exercise free will.

---------- Post added at 06:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

Crompsin- I answered your question with my statements above on the garments.

Quote:
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Want a beer?
Sure, I'll give it to my husband. Can't stand the stuff.

---------- Post added at 06:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniGirl View Post
I am an ex morman myself and I completely believe this statement. What I remember most about this religion is the guilt that comes from it. I feel that a big part of this religion is based on guilt. That is why everyone needs anti-depressants, there is so much guilt and stress in the LDS religion. You are mainly taught what you shouldn't do and why you shouldn't do it. That is what I remember. GUILT.
I'm so glad that you've jumped into this thread!!! I was hoping you'd lend your perspective to these questions.
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Old 08-31-2009, 05:04 PM   #26 (permalink)
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No shit. Mormons are all post-apoc, huh? Wow. Maybe I could get into this religion thing. If nothing else, at least I could have post-church discussions about the best way to store sealed hand tools in PVC tubes for 10+ years. Nobody would accuse me of being paranoid for it. Oh, this is a good plan.
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Old 08-31-2009, 05:10 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I remember going into the Oakland temple, to do baptisms for the dead, when I was still a member. I wish I could get a picture of the grand white room, with the golden bulls holding up the baptismal fonts. It is a pretty interesting place to visit.

Baptizing the dead is for those people who had died with out hearing the word of God from the church. It's so they can choose to accept it in the afterlife, and advance to a higher kingdom of heaven.

Quote:
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No shit. Mormons are all post-apoc, huh? Wow. Maybe I could get into this religion thing. If nothing else, at least I could have post-church discussions about the best way to store sealed hand tools in PVC tubes for 10+ years. Nobody would accuse me of being paranoid for it. Oh, this is a good plan.
Yes, they are indeed. My parents have a large storage of food and water. My Mom helped me with some stuff for my own 72 hour kit, and always sends me news, and tips about doing so. My Aunt had a big bomb shelter in her basement filled with supplies, enough to last years.
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Old 08-31-2009, 05:15 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I remember going into the Oakland temple, to do baptisms for the dead, when I was still a member. I wish I could get a picture of the grand white room, with the golden bulls holding up the baptismal fonts. It is a pretty interesting place to visit.

Baptizing the dead is for those people who had died with out hearing the word of God from the church. It's so they can choose to accept it in the afterlife and advance to a higher kingdom of heaven.



Yes they are indeed. My parents have a large storage of food and water. She helped me with some stuff for my own 72 hour kit and always send me news and tips about doing so. My Aunt had a big bomb shelter in her basement filled with supplies, enough to last years.
Along the lines of the baptismal font, here is a picture of the font in the Draper, Utah Temple
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Old 08-31-2009, 10:48 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Hey every one, so i wouldn't say i am an ex mormon because i still belong to the church, however i am not active, i grew up in Utah, and still sometimes go to church. I personally think that there are some really good values and morals that wont hurt anyone that the religion teaches. Im not an expert in the knowledge of the church, but i would like to think i am well informed.

However, the more threads and posts i read the more my opinion is changing about the world

If you have any questions i would be happy to try to answer!
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Old 09-01-2009, 07:11 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Thanks for stepping in, msgiggles!
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Old 09-01-2009, 07:14 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Hey every one, so i wouldn't say i am an ex mormon because i still belong to the church, however i am not active, i grew up in Utah, and still sometimes go to church. I personally think that there are some really good values and morals that wont hurt anyone that the religion teaches. Im not an expert in the knowledge of the church, but i would like to think i am well informed.

However, the more threads and posts i read the more my opinion is changing about the world

If you have any questions i would be happy to try to answer!
Not to turn this into a debate, but what value does religion teach (Mormonism in particular) that basic human compassion does not? A good question was asked in the "Ask an Atheist" thread about the source of morality and my response was that my morality comes from a standard human trait: compassion. So, I am wondering what I am "missing" because of my lack of religious belief.
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Old 09-01-2009, 07:30 AM   #32 (permalink)
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No shit. Mormons are all post-apoc, huh? Wow. Maybe I could get into this religion thing. If nothing else, at least I could have post-church discussions about the best way to store sealed hand tools in PVC tubes for 10+ years. Nobody would accuse me of being paranoid for it. Oh, this is a good plan.
Some Mormon friends of mine growing up had an enormous pantry in their house that was only for their emergency food and supplies. They take this stuff very seriously: Emergency Preparedness and Response
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Old 09-01-2009, 10:23 AM   #33 (permalink)
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Not to turn this into a debate, but what value does religion teach (Mormonism in particular) that basic human compassion does not? A good question was asked in the "Ask an Atheist" thread about the source of morality and my response was that my morality comes from a standard human trait: compassion. So, I am wondering what I am "missing" because of my lack of religious belief.
Interesting question. I remember a study several years back where they subjected people of varying faiths to different ethical dilemmas. Turns out atheist scored very high ethically. Turns out they don't have anyone to ask for forgiveness.
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Old 09-02-2009, 03:12 PM   #34 (permalink)
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I've never really indluged into the Mormon faith as much as I have in the general Christian faith. (I am an atheist but I find the study of religion and it's impact on society to be extremely facinating). As I live in Sweden, a country that is among the most secular and unreligious ones without resorting to totalitarian abolishment of religion, we still do have a few mormons that walk about our streets every now and then (mainly american missionaries I might add, still haven't met a true swedish convert to the faith). Very little is known about the religion itself among the general public but there are many myths and urban legends.

One of these caught my interest a while back (as it has to do with societal changes, adaptations and emergence of fringe groups of the faith) but I have yet to recieve an answer whether the myth itself bears any historical accuracy or not.

The myth itself is simple, during the early years of LDS there were widespread religious prosecution and mob executions of those that ascribed to the Mormon faith. During this time, there were so few men (as they were presumably killed) that an exception was made in the marrital laws for mormons, men were allowed to take more than one wife. The myth continues that after the mormon prosecutions ended this exeption was removed but that that parts of the mormon followers were not happy about that (especially the men) and that they broke free from the mainstream LDS and gave rise to the more fundamental polygamous societies in USA.

All of this is what I've heard and pieced together from word of mouth, but I can't find any historical records about this to neither verify nor refute the myth online.

My question is simple, is the myth true? Partially true? Or just plain bogus?
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Old 09-02-2009, 03:34 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I have this vague notion, and I can't remember the source, that Mormons have a special affinity for Jews.
True?
If so, why?
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Old 09-03-2009, 11:19 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Cervantes View Post
I've never really indluged into the Mormon faith as much as I have in the general Christian faith. (I am an atheist but I find the study of religion and it's impact on society to be extremely facinating). As I live in Sweden, a country that is among the most secular and unreligious ones without resorting to totalitarian abolishment of religion, we still do have a few mormons that walk about our streets every now and then (mainly american missionaries I might add, still haven't met a true swedish convert to the faith). Very little is known about the religion itself among the general public but there are many myths and urban legends.

One of these caught my interest a while back (as it has to do with societal changes, adaptations and emergence of fringe groups of the faith) but I have yet to recieve an answer whether the myth itself bears any historical accuracy or not.

The myth itself is simple, during the early years of LDS there were widespread religious prosecution and mob executions of those that ascribed to the Mormon faith. During this time, there were so few men (as they were presumably killed) that an exception was made in the marrital laws for mormons, men were allowed to take more than one wife. The myth continues that after the mormon prosecutions ended this exeption was removed but that that parts of the mormon followers were not happy about that (especially the men) and that they broke free from the mainstream LDS and gave rise to the more fundamental polygamous societies in USA.

All of this is what I've heard and pieced together from word of mouth, but I can't find any historical records about this to neither verify nor refute the myth online.

My question is simple, is the myth true? Partially true? Or just plain bogus?
Good question, Cervantes.
I do not have any documentation on the matter, but the "myth" as you describe is entirely consistent with what I was taught in sunday school as a teenager. I will elaborate with the bits that you seem to have missed. There was significant social and political pressure placed on the LDS to end the practice of polygamy. This pressure was most prevalent in the United States, so those who wished to practice polygamy retreated into isolated communities, some went so far as to emmigrate to Mexico and Canada, where they set up Mormon colonies. Eventually the Prophet came out with an official document that ended polygamy (on earth, it is still said to be practiced in heaven). The groups that disagreed with the end to polygamy remained in their little isolated enclaves and the Fundamentalist sects began.

One of my friends in the dorms at BYU was a blue-eyed woman with a typical mormon name who was an international student from Mexico. She spoke fluent English, though she did have an accent that was a little off. She said she was from "the colonies" - I hadn't realized that they were still around.

---------- Post added at 12:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:04 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by eribrav View Post
I have this vague notion, and I can't remember the source, that Mormons have a special affinity for Jews.
True?
If so, why?
Yes.
I'd like to say that they have no more affinity for Jews than any other Christian group, but that's not really accurate. There's a few reasons for their love for Judaism.

1) Judaism came first. Christianity is built on Judaism. Much of the symbolism prevalent in their practices hints at a Jewish origin. It's said that you can better understand Christianity by understanding Judaism.

Now here's where it gets confusing, so bear with me...

2) Mormons believe that the "lost tribes" of Israel are not really lost.

At age 14, most LDS receive what is called a Patriarichal Blessing. This is a once-in-a-lifetime personal message from God, spoken through a specially ordained Patriarch. These blessings are recorded, transcribed, then placed on your church record along with other more mundane records like the date of your baptism. If you loose your copy of your blessing, you can always order another one from Salt Lake. No one ever really loses their blessing, it's too special.

In your patriarichal blessing it is revealed which of the 10 tribes of Israel you fit into. Everyone on Earth is either born into or adopted into one of the 10 tribes (Why? I'm not entirely sure, but it has something to do with promises that God made to the Israelites and the chain of events for the last days as mentioned in the book of Revelation). The general trend of these tribes seems to be broken down racially. I'm in the tribe of Ephraim, for instance, along with nearly everyone else who is white. Pacific Islanders are typically Manassah. I knew one guy whose blessing said he was adopted into the tribe of Levi when everyone else in his family was Ephraim.

Apparently what tribe among the house of Israel you're a part of is supposed to be a big deal because your responsibilities will be different when it comes closer to the time of the Second Coming of Christ. The tribe of Ephraim is supposed to be the workhorse tribe that brings the rest of the tribes to Christ.

So, Mormons like Jews because they feel kinship, even though Jews themselves don't support such a connection. Clear as mud, isn't it?
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Old 01-27-2010, 05:42 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Something I was wondering, but wasn't able to find, was if Mormons can enter non Mormon churches?
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Old 01-27-2010, 06:20 PM   #38 (permalink)
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^^No they can't. There are forces at work make it such that once a mormon is baptized and remains an active participant he or she has a sort of "directional" gravity that always repels them from entering into other churches. Much the same way muggles can't see magical establishments.
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Old 01-27-2010, 07:13 PM   #39 (permalink)
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When I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to go to other churches, by my mom. She thought there was no point, because we already have the 'true gospel'. We did have events, and things that were held at other non Mormon churches, my mom never objected.

I visited several other services at non Mormon churches anyways, just because I was curios.

Plus, I love old cathedrals, so I never pass up a chance to look inside.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:41 AM   #40 (permalink)
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Something I was wondering, but wasn't able to find, was if Mormons can enter non Mormon churches?
Yes, they absolutely can. When we traveled, my parents would take us to whatever Christian church looked most interesting, if they couldn't find a Mormon chapel.


We frequently were camping on the weekends in the summer, though, and at those times we would typically have our own sabbath devotionals in a remote patch of forest or on the top of a scenic mountain. These were often my favorite services in my childhood, it's easy to feel close to God when surrounded by nature.
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