making jokes about the dead
 

over in the music, in the mike jackson's dead thread, StrangeFamous said:

"But also it is nothing to celebrate and I take no joy nor wish to make silly jokes about the death of a human being."

and i got to thinking...why not?

the death of a human isn't anything to celebrate, unless you believe in an afterlife and you think they are going to heaven, then you should be happy for them. but i was thinking more of the second part.

why not makes jokes about the dead? silly ones are best, because they are silly, not serious. i don't think it's disrespectful at all. i see it as a way to keep their memory alive, to honor them (even if it's a "negetive" joke), to think of them somewhat humorously.

as much as i believe life is sacred, we are just humans, and we are all flawed, and if my flaws can make you laugh, then at least there is something good about my flaws. i wish people would make jokes about me when i'm dead.

Most folks don't like doing so because it highlights the insensetivity towards somebody who may actually be grieving that person's death. Whether the person in grief knew the deceased or not really doesn't matter.

Just because you may not mind if we crack jokes about you when you die doesn't mean your friends and family will.

Death is always a touchy subject and I don't really know why. Death is just another part of life, why not make jokes about death. Now I understand there is a time and a place for everything, like for example at a persons funeral where loved ones are grieving is not a time to make "negative" jokes. Even then family usually look back on funny and good times they had with the deceased. Except for dead baby jokes, they are never funny ( this is directed to punk.of.ages). But I agree with you "why not".

I think it is important to see things with several different perspectives.

I can appreciate a good joke but still not find it appropriate. That's true of a lot of things.

A joke that is meant to be light-hearted, and bring light into an otherwise dark situation can be a very healing thing. I've found in life that humor and laughter can heal all wounds. If you can't laugh at something you're taking it far too seriously, if you ask me.

A joke made with malicious intent is another story. Why make fun of someone who is dead? They're gone. Malicious jokes are rarely funny in the first place, anyhow...

For the record, dead baby jokes are always, always funny!

Michael Jackson was a mentally unstable individual, and it's upon that illness that most MJ jokes rest. Under normal circumstances, MJ jokes are iffy. The day after he died? For many people it's over the line. Taking offense often isn't something intellectual, it's an emotional response, like finding something funny. That fact makes this a very gray area.

Yes, dead baby jokes are always funny.

not while you are in the hospital about to have the baby!!!

Fixed that for you...

thanks

Context matters: I've spent hours laughing about the foibles of recently deceased loved ones.

I'm not really sure where to draw the line. In Chicago, Gene Siskel was an especially beloved person, and it was a shocking tragedy when he died. The Onion ran a headline the following week, "Ebert Victorious." It was hilarious, it was incredibly rude, and it was immediately following his death. But was it wrong to do? I dunno.

P.S. The Onion rarely holds back material because it is insensitive. One of the only times was following 9/11, when they nixed the headline: "Country safe for now, says top Quadragon officials." Obviously I understand why they did that...it's still really funny.

POA and WR both said it for me. Thank you for finding those words.

Geoffrey Chaucer, William Shakespeare, Johnathon Swift, Lewis Carroll -- all of these writers are known for their black humour.

Using humour on topics of death is fascinating when you analyze it. In many circumstances, we laugh at such humour in a different way than we do at humour of other topic matter. In a way, we laugh at dark humour as a kind of nervous release, as death is something most of us think about but know very little about, especially when you consider experience.

Death is tied to the unknown, it is tied to fear. We laugh at things that may otherwise frighten us on a deeper level. We laugh heartily, and it provides us a temporary relief from this fear.

Those of us who have trouble finding the humour in it, might be affected by other circumstances or, perhaps, are more in tune to the fear of the unknown that is death.

What QuasiMondo said ^.


In some rare cases death humor works, and/or is expected.

Perfect eulogy. I think a funeral should be a celebration of a persons life and if it turns into a lighthearted roast, so be it. I guess I agree with punk of ages....people take things much to seriously. There's nothing wrong with merriment and the reason most people don't like jokes about the dead is it makes them feel uncomfortable (the audience, not the dead person). They don't know if they can laugh or if they're supposed to act offended. Few things make people more mad than being socially awkward. I think people get more upset at being awkward than at the joke itself. The Onion example? Perfect. Especially in light of the fact that they never found the plane, or any parts of it, or any evidence whatsoever that it existed in the first place...but I digress....

I think it depends on the person and the general view society has of that person at the time of their death.

Example: I suspect there were more jokes made about the death of Michael Jackson than there were Farrah Fawcett.

A person creates their own legacy, and the choices they make are likely going to affect how others react to key moments in their life, in this case, death.

i'm betting that is true. why is that? is it because she didn't do anything to make fun of? because she wasn't in the spotlight so much? why do some people generate tons of jokes and others don't?

how many jokes were there about christa mcauliffe? many, and yet all she did was blow up in a space shuttle. farah did much much more, yet i havn't heard one joke about her death.

granted, i think many of the jokes about jackson were around before he died. but there are still some as a result of his death.

so why no "god turned off farah's fawcet"type jokes? hmmmmm.........

I don't know about "jokes" about someone's death, but I find that humor is often a good way to cope with death-related grief. I've always said that when I die, I want my friends and family to have a few drinks, tell some funny stories about my life, and try to celebrate my life rather than mourn my death. Not that I'll really care, I'll be dead...

If a laugh is what gets you through it, I don't see any problem with telling a joke. But if it's just taking cheap shots at a dead guy, I think that's kind of tasteless.

when i die, i want free sno-cones at my wake and funeral. i think it would be hilarious to see a bunch of people gathered at a sombre event with red and blue stained lips and tongues. and really, who doesn't like sno-cones?

Got to agree there, I'd much rather have my family an friends laughing about the stupid/silly things I did in life then crying because I'm no longer alive. I even believe in that enough that I wrote absolutely no funeral or viewings allowed, cremate me and bring my ashes to a wake.

Mind you I do think that if the dead person in question was getting cheap shots long before passing on why stop now?

sounds good, I would show up!!!

My mom always told me there are some things you don't joke about. I feel that nothing is sacred, especially that which is sacred. I don't have a problem pissing people off, but I hold back when necessary.

I don't find the dead Michael Jackson jokes to be any different than the not-dead Michael Jackson jokes. I don't find either of them to be funny.

And as far as I'm concerned that is the real offense. Telling jokes that are not funny.

I experience this everyday. It's exhausting sometimes!

That really is the greatest eulogy ever. Now when I die, I want all my friends and loved ones to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".

I wish people would lighten up, especially my mother. To quote her, "I don't care what it's a parody of, I don't care what you say, necrophilia is never funny."

It was funny.

I feel that is important for this thread to mention that I don't like sno-cones.
Dead jokes are fine.

fair enough. you can still come to the funeral and have a good time.

I know - I immediately distance myself from those who don't connect with my sort of humor. They're seriously missing out.

And yes, necrophilia is always funny.

That's what I've always thought as well.

As for offending humour, I had a friend who's girlfriend was pregnant, when they told me I immediately said "quick you get the shop vac, I'll get the coat hanger, we'll take care of that little bastard." Needless to say neither one was very amused, and I knew this guy for 16 years, so he knows my humour is well a bit off and nothing is off limits.

jay, that is totally funny...

I deal with almost everything in my life with humor. I lost my brother in a horrific car accident last October... Im not saying I make jokes about it all the time, but sure... there have been some made. I don't do it disrespectfully at all... I love my brother, and miss him, and think about him every day... laughing just helps. http://blakespace.com/imgs/signature_tilted.jpg

I think anything can have humor to it. That doesn't mean everyone has to find it funny. Humor = objective, funny = subjective, in my book.

And every thing mentioned in this thread I've found funny.

I love you, MM. Sometimes I think we were meant to be siblings.
Most of the Michael Jackson jokes are just dumb. Not funny. Whether he's alive or dead.
My work is death. If you don't laugh, 9 times out of 10 you're either going to cry or end up staring numbly into space.
So laugh already. Just tell good jokes, good stories.
Not lego jokes. :hmm:

I love you, too, noodle :icare:

Right on.

Get a room, you two.



Preferably a morgue.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Jealous?

That is entirely dependent on the quantity of death/nudity involved.

I recently dealt with this question in my own mind after posting my first reaction to michael jackson's death, which was, "oh wow, now his reanimated corpse is finally put to rest." Which I went on to post on facebook. I hovered over the "post" button for a sec wondering if I was going too far before I clicked. It was received both with laughter and with shock.

I'm not sure if it could be considered a cheap shot, because most celebrities never seem that real. Michael Jackson was always like Santa Claus to me, more of a representation of a thing, especially in his later years after all of that surgery. So, when he ceased to be, I didn't have much of a connection to it personally. I guess that's what allowed me to feel as detached as I did about his death.

If my best friend died, there wouldn't be joking of this sort from me. Along those lines, Farrah recorded her slow and agonizing fight with cancer for the world to see. She stayed brave, and she fought. I think that we all sort of recognize this and admire her for her courage, I think that's why no one's joking about her. Whereas, Michael was just seen as some sort of cultural oddity.

Joking about death in general seems like a way of expressing that you're detached from the situation (either because it doesn't matter to you, or because you aren't wanting to feel the sadness). Why it doesn't matter could range anywhere from spiritual choice to just not having a relationship with the person.

Now, some great jokes are the Billy Mays jokes. Especially the ones in all caps.