Important announcement - immediate action required by everyone
 

We were all having fun and games with the beaver/Canadian hacker picture until we started getting reports that not everyone could see it. We had to do some quick scrambling and determined that the problem wasn't on our end. As best we can tell from talking to Microsoft, if you have seen the message, your machine in infected with the Conficker virus. The good folks at Microsoft were nice enough to give us instruction for removal.

1) Immediately unplug your machine. Do not back up any data.
2) Remove the hard drive.
3) Using a ball-peen hammer, smash the hard drive as hard as you can between 3 and 5 times.
4) Locate 6-8 packets of Jello brand lime gelatin. Follow instructions to make 1/2 of the gelatin. Place hard drive on top of solid gelatin then follow instructions to make the rest of the gelatin, pouring it on top of the hard drive to completely encase it. Remember, only lime will work. Top to your taste.
5) Send Cynthetiq a PM asking for his physical address so that you can ship him the Jello. Use the minimal amount of packing material to ensure that the package arrives as sloppy as possible. You may consider including a bag of cat urine.

Any questions or concerns may be directed solely to cynthetiq. I want nothing to do with it, and completely disavow this thread from hereon out. I will be in my bunk.

Do I use the ball, or peen, end?

These things must be done delicately.

I will call Microsoft back and ask.

ring, you hammer-head, use the handle!

Peen end. They suggest circling it over your head a few times before actually striking the hard drive.

Alternatively, you can burn it with fire. They think that may kill the virus as well.

Burn it!!

I stuffed two rounds of Zithromax down its throat.

We all know antibiotics wipe out viruses, just ask my doc.

This should be a sticky at the top of the forum.

Edit: I just tried it and it works!

I just boiled mine to remove it. It worked great!

Fire cleanses all.

Please remember that Cynthetiq needs these hard drives in order to get our deposit back from Microsoft. And the lime Jello is required. We can possibly reimburse you for that with proof of purchase and your credit card information.

What if I have a Mac? What then?

May I substitute with lime green Skittles?

my computer hurts!!!

You're part of the problem. Get out.

The ball is the peen!

macs are immune to this virus..but that means if you are seeing the beaver, then our server is infected..which means we will probably have some downtime until the harddrive is replaced and all the data punched back in.

I will kill that beaver and make a hat

Should I put together a data-entry team? You better start making a printout.

the only one of you that knows anything about hammers ! It's not a ball and peen hammer,the ball is the peener.

http://www.toolreviewguide.com/sites...n%20hammer.jpg



The original function of the hammer was to "peen" riveted or welded material but today, the ball end of the hammer is most commonly used to expand and shape the free end of copper roves, light rivets and similarly, "setting" the rivet in place to complete the joint. Peening is also the method by which steel drums are formed and tuned.

A ball-peen hammer is also known as an engineer's hammer or a machinist's hammer and may be graded by the weight of the head. It is the mechanic's hammer of choice when making gaskets or driving drift pins

xoxoxoo:thumbsup:

I don't like lime jello. Can I use cherry instead?

so wait: if the ball is the noun and the peen a verb, how do we know which end of the hammer to use?

and will husky urine substitute for cat in a pinch?

Done.

Now I just need the urine.

Will a large magnet work okay?

the power of the lullaby must be invoked

bobby..try this one on for size

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...edgehammer.jpg

And will you love it and pet it and call it George?

I made it my avatar, does that answer your question?