flat5

Is it insulting to ask for an address and land-line telephone number before
sending money by Paypal to a stranger?

I wanted to buy an electronic device made in the 1960s that weighs about 25 pounds.
This guy in the UK is selling it for 160 Pounds + shipping. I'm in Amsterdam, NL.

We were doing ok on the sale. I accepted the terms and he was packing the receiver, etc.

I then sent him an email asking as politely as I know how to for his phone number and address.

He said I was calling him a crook and decided to not sell to me.

Too bad, I really wanted the Drake R2b with accesseries.

I Googled his email address and his amatuer call sign and did not come up with anything too bad.

Jinn

I don't think it's rude, particularly since your address is exposed by Paypal when you make a transaction.

Sounds like he had something to hide, if you ask me.

__________________
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Amaras

I don't think it's rude. He overreacted, that's all.

__________________
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Love is a verb, not a noun.
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The_Jazz

Agreed. If he's on the level, there's no issue. If not, well, send him ZUG: Funny People, Funny Stories, Funny Stuff!. That's as good an explanation as anyone should need

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"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

flat5

"I don't think it's rude, particularly since your address is exposed by Paypal when you make a transaction."

Does this mean also that when I know his Paypal address I can do something if I don't receive the goods from him?

(I am new to buying things on-line and don't have my own Paypal account. I use a friend's and give him the money.)

Jinn

You should really get your own Paypal account. There are many protections through Paypal, but most (if not all) would be inaccessible to you as you aren't the person actually doing the transaction.

__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

flat5

I'm working on it slowly. I have to do it in Holland using my ING savings account.
I'm having trouble getting it together on-line (in Dutch). Because in the past I used someone else's account and my email address there is a problem setting up my account.

I have asked the owner of the account to try to help sort it out (he is a Dutch lawyer) but I think he is too busy or has forgot. I would think a phone call would be enough.

lotsofmagnets

did you ask him why you wanted his address and phone number?

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

The_Jazz

Go read The Consumerist: Shoppers Bite Back to get some horror stories about PayPal. Just search by the name. There are better, more secure, less biased escrow sites out there.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

flat5

Thanks Jazz but a search for "paypal" on that site brought up nothing.
-----Added 4/11/2008 at 07 : 22 : 28-----
"did you ask him why you wanted his address and phone number?"

No, and I did it all wrong!
"Everyone I talk to says I must get your full home address
and land-line home and work telephone numbers before I
send money. This makes sense to me."

He wrote back that he will not sell the items to me because I called him a crook.
I then apologized and admitted I lacked tack and should have asked in a more polite manner.
We went back and forth a few more times. He kept being upset and I kept groveling because I really wanted the sale to go through :-)

I have never bought anything from a private individual on-line before and am afraid I might get ripped off. (how 'bout that?) Is Paypal of any help in these matters? I don't even have a credit card. I just don't know about these things.

little_tippler

He's a dork. Don't buy from him. I don't think you were rude, just cautious. People only get offended if they actually are what you supposedly call them. Like when you ask someone if they're cheating on you. If they get very uppity, I raise an eyebrow.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

skizziks

You were not rude at all, nothing wrong with your request. If he took offense, that is his problem and he lost a sale. The fact that he got upset is a bit suspicious, at least to me, so maybe it´s best the transaction didn´t happen.

flat5

There were other flags set. The pictures of this radio made about 1960 were too good.
Very shiny copper chassis. Tubes looked new. No yellowing of the white dials, etc.
His spelling, grammar, and missing words in sentences did not inspire confidence.
He also had ads everywhere, perhaps collecting all he could, I don't know.

Most items listed will only ship in USA and are maybe only for 110vAC.
It's hard to find ham equipment closer to Amsterdam, NL.
I may have missed a VERY good deal. I'll never know for sure but I have not been ripped off.

thingstodo

There is a reason for the saying that translates to "Buyer beware."

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Stangers have the best candy.

MSD

There are two types of people who use PayPal: Those who have been thoroughly fucked by them, and those who will keep saying "well I've never had any problems with them" until they get fucked. Do whatever you can to keep yourself in that second group for as long as possible, then hope that when you do get fucked, it's a small transaction.

Jetée

So, PayPal being insecure is what you both are stating; is there a better alternative that you can promote?

__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

MSD

Money orders, cash, a bank that has safeguards instead of a company that does all the profit-related bank functions with no recourse for people who get swindled. It isn't as convenient, but the tradeoff is protection.

smooth

I bought an international money order from my bank to send payment to UK for a car part I needed. It started off very similar to your story, where the guy got upset when I asked for his info and then I apologized and he sent me his cell phone number and an address to send the money order. Then he claimed he was in a car accident and the short version is he ripped me off. After the money order was cashed, there wasn't anything a bank can do from what they told me. I thought about contacting the local police in his area, but by that time the money spent on international calls and my time was adding up and I just wrote the $400 dollars off and filed his info away on the off chance I might someday end up in England where I can revisit the issue in person...

anyway, my advice is to use an established escrow service for international purchases to private parties. I don't suggest money orders/bank transfers because there is not much to be done after the money leaves your account, and especially when dealing internationally.

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