Do you feel you belong where you live?
 

When I first moved to the NYC area in 1991, I bought a round trip ticket with the departure date 1 year from when I arrived. I figured if I hadn't conquered living in NYC by that time, I'd have a ride back to LA.

When that year came, I wasn't any closer to being comfortable with NYC. I still had no friends, I did nothing but work 40-50 hour work weeks in the garment industry for very little pay. I was miserable. I listened to two songs all the time, Cat Stevens "Wild World" and Jim Croce's "New York's Not My Home"

By November 1992, I was no closer to having met any friends. For the second year, I decided that I was going to make a better effort to do more going out, trying to meet people. There was no internet, there was just well, actually going places and having to meet people. I worked more, got more responsiblity and worked 60-80 hour workweeks. I was frustrated. I even remember one night when there was a large deadline, I had my first date with someone that I had met somewhere and I just couldn't leave the office. I was working in tears. I was miserable and hating living in the NYC area.

One night over the Thanksgiving weekend, I got invited to hang out in a bar in the Village. I met a nice girl server who thought I should sit at her bar on Sunday nights. It was a start at meeting people and making friends.

But one day in 1993, on a trip back from visiting friends and family in LA, I was looking forward to getting back to NYC. It was that moment that I realized that there was a fundamental shift.

Now, when we travel, when I can see the skyline, bridges, or even our apartment building, sometimes I can feel tears almost well up from within me. I feel like I'm finally home.

Do you remember when you finally felt like you fit or integrated where you live?

I've been here since I was in high school, but being in high school accelerates integration, I think. If I ever move, I'll head back to this thread, though!

In my town, there are two very different communities to be a part of. There is Corvallis proper and then there is Oregon State University. I first felt really part of OSU when I was a sophomore at Mom's Weekend; everywhere my mom and I went on campus, I ran into someone I knew. As for Corvallis, I feel most connected to my community at community events where I run into people, like Saturday Market, or when I'm bicycling around town and people I work for or friends wave at me as I ride by. I'd say I first felt really integrated into the community last summer, and this summer has been much happier because of that integration. I've got my little niche here, so to speak. And I must say I like the Corvallis community better than the university community--it's much more liberal :lol:

It took me a while to feel like a New Yorker. I adapted to the transportation and the hoards of people and the social nature, but all of that was like playing a game to me. I never felt like a New Yorker until I'd been here a few years, when I finally moved INTO Manhattan and could then afford (time-wise) to stroll around and really get to know the 'hood. You still can't get me to cheer for the sports teams though.

I've never integrated with this town. I certainly didn't integrate in Sulphur, Louisiana - willfully so.

In fact, I haven't integrated with a place since I was a child.

The places I lived in as a child, Atlanta then New Smyrna Beach, I still feel integrated with them when I go back.

My home town is a rich WASP paradise, which means I pretty much hate it. It's boring, there's little to do despite the two universities, and it's just not my thing. 20 miles away where I went to school and now work, I'm pretty integrated. Because of my job at the school (which also functions as a conference center,) I know people from a lot of local businesses, the Chamber of Commerce, a lot of nonprofits, and of course all the students. People know me by name at the local bars and I know my way around downtown and the suburban area uptown. I might move down there in a year or two if I can afford it.

I moved here in August of 2006 and I would say it took no more than a month or so for me to feel very comfortable here. That said, the first year was a bit lonely as my family was still in Toronto but what that year did was give me time to adjust to my new job and to explore my new city. As a result, many of my friends who've lived here all their lives say that I know the transit system and the city's layout better than they do (most ask me for direction if they need to get somewhere they've never been).

I still don't feel entirely up to speed on the local politics and I am certainly still on a learning curve when it comes to many cultural practises. The cool thing is that there is, despite the locals insistence that their country is boring, so much to learn and do.

I've been in Reykjavík since March 07, and I still don't feel very integrated. I don't think I will ever feel that way, unless I spent at least 5 more years here. This has a lot to do with the people and the language and the culture.

However, my attachment to the city has been growing this summer, since I've been walking to work and back everyday instead of taking the bus. The walk is a bit over 2 miles each way, and there is more than one path that I use. Therefore I feel much more familiar with the town and its streets and its houses. Knowing where the pretty houses are, where I can see more cats on my walk :), where the moss on the houses is greener, where the traffic is lighter, where the alleyways take me between houses, where the espresso is better and where lunch is cheaper... It all adds up to "knowing" more of the city, and thus belonging in it more.

I guess I belong to an area when I know it by foot. I did not feel like I belonged in South-East PA since I had to drive most everywhere (although I would still walk sometimes from my house to the downtown in the small town I lived in, West Chester). By contrast I felt much more integrated in State College, PA (my college town) since I walked and biked everywhere there. And even in my hometown of Beirut, I feel much closer to the Western part than the Eastern part (though the latter can be prettier) because I never went there much until I was a teenager, since the town was split during my childhood. I guess I would have a hard time in suburbia.

I think eastern North Carolina will always be the place I belong. From day one to the day I left, it just felt right.

With DC, it's not so much a matter of feeling like I belong. It's such a temporary place, almost nobody is a native and about half the population turns over every four to eight years. I think I realized I was de-sensitized to the area when I started noticing tourists. They didn't really stand out the first couple of years.

Eastern NC is a place I don't belong. Ignoring all the bullshit conservatism and racial structures.. there is just nothing here. The beaches are nice but I just can't get over the mentality that so many seem to have here. While it seems to have potential for business opportunity and the quality of life (i.e. cost of living) isn't bad at all, It's just not a place I enjoy.

I ran with a pretty liberal crowd there. Mostly college staffers and professors. Plus, it really matters *where* you live. Beaufort, downtown New Bern, Promise Land in Morehead City, nice.

Vanceboro, Kinston, Havelock, Jacksonville, not so much.

Cyn, I read that article yesterday, and I don't think I could ever live in NYC and be happy. Then again, if I had some kick-ass job at the UN or something (haha), I might not have a choice. I would have to have a cabin in the woods or something, to escape to and find my mind again, after losing it in that city... :) Well, no surprise to everyone here, since ktsp and I are married and going through this together... but yeah, I feel very much the same way. And I even have an Icelandic passport, and speak Icelandic fairly well, and have more family members here than in any other place on Earth. But I will never belong here.

It feels less and less like home, the longer we spend here... even though I am more and more familiar with all things Icelandic, and participate more in the culture now. It is not a welcoming place by any means--they make no effort to integrate foreigners, and I dislike that about a country, especially when foreigners try so very hard to fit in. I'm no longer interested in making such an effort to find my place here. They win--but it's their loss. They just won't realize it for another 20-30 years, when they have whole communities of un-integrated foreigners who become resentful and isolated over time. So much for learning what NOT to do, from their European neighbors.

Other than Seattle (which is still a kind of home for me, though I'll have to get used to it again since it's changed a lot in the last 5 years), I felt very comfortable in our grad school town, which ktsp mentioned above. It was a fantastically neutral place for all of us in graduate school--landlocked 3 hours away from any major city, it was a little small-town haven to just build great friendships and explore our surroundings. I felt very awkward there the first few months, but I settled in very quickly. I think that has more to do with being a student than anything, though, because as a student you have a ready-made community, and activities on-campus are simple endless. The entire atmosphere is one big "Welcome" tent. Hard to compare that to a "real life" scenario...

In a couple of weeks, we will have been living in this house for 3 years. All my stuff is here. It looks like my place. The second I step outside and look around, I feel like this is all temporary and will go away soon. I have no sense of community here. I only know the names of 2 of the neighbors. We were here for a couple of months before the first one came over and introduced themselve. Haven't spoken with him since.
We both work screwy hours and we don't have any children which I know is the majority of the reason we don't know the neighbors.
It just doesn't feel like home here.

What's really interesting, abaya/ktsp, is that in my community, there are at least a few people I know of that deliberately chose to relocate here because of its resemblance to State College, including a couple of my clients. :)

I think one of the biggest things that made a difference to me in getting to know my town was the frequency of community events. We have two major festivals a year, Saturday Market every weekend, and all sorts of things--concerts, plays, the symphony, town hall meetings, etc.--that give people the opportunity to get out and get to know other people. Plus, we have a really good Parks and Rec department with tons of sports and activities for adults to participate in. Additionally, it being a college town, people are very welcoming of new folks, simply because at one time, almost all of us were new here. All of these things made it easy to integrate, even as an adult.

Denver is my city.

I grew up in a tiny WASP-y suburb of New York City that I never felt comfortable in until I was ready to leave there for college. Going away to school in the city—down the road only twenty minutes or so—probably shouldn't have qualified me as a real "New Yorker," but I embraced that identity as my own while I was there. To this day I miss New York; as far as I can tell I could see myself making a home there as an adult, despite having only really lived there inside the bubble of my college experience.

I feel reasonably comfortable in the town my partner and I have been living in for the past seven years. It's hard to believe we've been here so long, and at times harder to believe that we've ended up here at all. I am happy we purchased a house here and I look forward to spending the next several years making our house into the beautiful home we know it can become. I'd be even happier finding work closer to home to trim down my commute and make me feel more connected to it during the workweek.

Though I miss New York, I don't envision us moving there anytime soon for any reason other than some sort of absolutely fantastic, can't-refuse job opportunity. I guess I've found my home, for now.

It is different in a Jewish orthodox community and easy to always belong there. When I moved to NYC, was easy to mesh in to that community and automatically be welcomed. But I have to say I felt home dec 8, 2003, the night after we got married and we went home Doc & I, then I was no longer a bachelor going away for weekends and looking to leave, I now had a home a place I just wanted to be.

That's nice. :)

Btw, with the Jewish community thing... have there ever been times when you just felt stifled? Like, that you DIDN'T want a community supporting/watching you all the time, that you would have just liked to start over/be free, etc? Or have you always just wanted to be there, and never felt resentment/restlessness?

I'm curious because when I was an evangelical, I really loved being part of a Christian university community for 4 years... but I discovered that when I moved away, it was one of the most freeing/important decisions of my life. The support was gone, but so was the expectation for conformity... I was able to really get to know myself better, apart from that community-identity. I don't know if I would have experienced that, if I had moved into another evangelical community right afterwards (as many Christians do--seeking a new "church home" whenever they relocate).

But I also understand that many people prefer to always be part of a community, wherever they go (hence my membership on TFP!). :thumbsup:

I moved from CA to DC for college, and spent my those years on campus or around student hangouts. DC was considered dangerous then, so we played it safe. When I decided to stay in the area after graduation, I realized that I would have to broaden my horizons, so to speak, and that's when I started learning the city.

Some things that made me feel I belonged were unconsciously saying y'all, driving the whole Capital Beltway, no longer noticing tourists, having a conversation that did not involve politics or the latest news on Capitol Hill, eating food from different cultures in restaurants and little cafes, stopping and talking to people sitting on their porches, and walking through Rock Creek Park.

I think the defining moment for my family was when I said "I have to get back home" while on a holiday visit to California.

I've never felt at home in Utah, ever. Not even when I moved away from my hellish hometown and into Salt Lake City. Eastern NC is the only place I felt "at home" and truly comfortable with where I was.

I hope to hell we'll be out of here in 6 months.

I grew up in two places: Montreal and a place called the Wirral, which is across the river from Liverpool. When I moved to Toronto as a young man, it really took a very long time to really be happy in this area. I still don't like Toronto especially, but we're pretty happy in a town a little north of the city and feel a part of things. Some of that may have to do with the greater sense of permanence that comes with time and life experiences: we own a home, we have a child, we have careers, etc.

The Jewish orthodox community is very tight nitch and it definitely can be stifling. I was involved in a number of youth groups a few years back, and I really learned how easy it is to find out about any Jewish orthodox (and non-orthodox) people that live anywhere, by placing a few phone calls. I thankfully never dance to the normal toon, and am less mainstream, yet I love my community alot and over the past few years gotten involved and been trying to help out as much as I can in my own way.

i dont feel at home at all here in Georgia.

I cant wait for the day when i head back to central florida or Austin, Tx.

i will be so ecstatic.

I've never felt a sense of belonging anywhere, and I don't think I ever will. I do get used to places, but never a connection that would make it difficult to leave.

I grew up in Philadelphia and was always exploring around, so I'm sure I know this area very well. While I've been in several other cities that also seem very appealing, I am a big fan of Philly. Until I was 29yo I lived in the city and liked it. When it was time for me to find a house, I wanted to stay near the city and I had certain neighborhoods that I targeted and searched; and then I found the house that I'm still living in now...that was in 1978. What appealed to me about this area back then and still today is that this neighborhood is less than 15 minutes from center city but it feels like a laid back, very safe, quiet little borough...but not dead at all; fun stuff's always happening, people are around...the place is alive. When I was the "young guy" in the neighborhood 30 years ago I right away hit it off very well with my neighbors, and even though many of those neighbors have changed...and I'm now one of the older neighbors here...I still feel like the people in this area are mostly friendly, civil, and caring about the quality of life here.


edit: on top of that, we have one of the best school systems anywhere PLUS relatively low real estate taxes (since the township hauls in big bucks from many megabuck properties and commercial taxes)

I've lived in Orlando for roughly 16 years now, from the age of 4. I've never been able to cultivate a sense of community, and unlike New York, I don't believe this city has the same osmotic pull to draw folks in. Then again, throughout my days here, I haven't made much of an effort to integrate myself; by and large, I don't care for the city itself or the surrounding area, which feels unwelcoming, rushed, and ugly.

There are thankfully havens within and around Orlando that offer breathing room. Leu Gardens is an oasis for those who need to escape daily life, wandering through a maze of plant life and trails. Wekiwa Springs and the Ocala National Forest are both able to offer a temporary return to nature, along with a more local area behind Moss Park, Split Oak Forest.

Those are beautful, quiet places. I need that in my life and don't know how completely I could ever adapt to a cityscape, particularly one so large as Orlando. I feel somehow disconnected and can't be satisfied here. I'll be moving away when it is financially reasonable to do so and I've explored enough to find somewhere that I could see myself thinking of as home.

I'm back living in my home town and it feels like home. Some places I have lived, like Toronto, felt like I was existing there but didn't quite know why. I met several friends who remain friends to this day, but I could never get over that, "I am a visitor" feeling.

I also think we have more than one home. Parts of Maine and New Hampshire make me feel like never wanting to leave and I get sad after staying there knowing I have to leave.

But New York!!! In a past life if such a thing exists, I must have lived a lifetime there. Absolutely love it. When I fly into New York on business(especially LaGuardia since it always takes so long to land.The only circling pattern I enjoy) I see the skyline and feel like I am home, even though I am going to a hotel room.

Funny, lived in a condo in Toronto,..it felt like a hotel room. Spend time in any New York hotel room and I feel like I belong there, at home.

I moved to eastern tennessee from seattle last year and I've never felt more at home....people as a rule in big cities are cold and jaded, the people here are friendly , outgoing and couldn't be nicer...I really feel comfortable here......could be because I grew up in a small town in northern idaho and this reminds me of the way it was when I as a child..........

I haven't felt I belonged anywhere I've lived as an adult, probably because I'm in Florida and not much of a fan of the State.

Driving back to my hometown of 18 years in New Jersey was great, but no tears welled up.

Interestingly, I do feel that type of connection with both Charlotte (NC) and Seattle.

I'm not sure I know how to belong anywhere. I had friends in Tempe/Scottsdale, but I had no money and no time to do anything. I have money here, and have started doing some stuff around town, but I don't have a group of friends to do stuff with.

read this thread a while ago and meant to respond but being the procrastinator that i am...

well, to a large degree i have to echo ktspktsp & abaya. integrating here is nigh on impossible. BUT whether or not that is a problem really depends on people. i now have some people here who i can consider good, even close, friends and i have no problems hanging around them but in the more general community, yes, it´s very easy to feel like i´ve just stepped off the plane for the 1st time even having been here over a year. language is definitely a problem. icelandic is an extraordinarily difficult language and chances to practice it are near zero since almost everyone here speaks english so well. more often than not i´ll walk into a shop and communicate in icelandic but as soon as they hear an accent they´ll communicate in english, even if i persist in speaking icelandic. i´ve pretty much ground to a halt with learning the language because of these factors and i really don´t see myself putting much effort from here in especially now that i´m starting to take the idea of leaving much more seriously now. i´ll have to revive this thread in a year or 2 when i´ve made my next home and it´s looking like the netherlands at this stage.

Been here all my life and it will always feel like home to me.
Would not trade it for anywhere in the world.

In line at the Bæjarins Beztu hot dog stand this weekend:

Me: Hey, by the way, how do you say "fresh onions" in Icelandic (I knew the words for fresh and for onions but didn't know what specific word combo to use)
IcelandicDudeInFrontOfMe: Just like that, "fresh onions".
Me: Yes, but in Icelandic?
Dude: They speak English at the stand.
Me: I know, but I would like to know for myself how to say it in Icelandic.
Dude: English is fine.
And that was the conversation.

Thankfully the guy at the stand was more helpful and mentioned that it's "hráir laukar" so 'raw' instead of 'fresh'.

now i´m hungry. breakfast pylsa ftw :D

often to be tiny town is wearing a hat that is continually shrinking.
the accompanying effects on the flow of blood to the brain makes integration easy. inside outside it's all the same.
i keep having curious conversations with people.
late saturday night, late here referring to an entirely relative idea, 11 pm on a saturday night can be late in tinytowntime, i found myself talking to a bald man outside a local pub. i think he said to me: "i often find myself above people. once in oregon i started a men's group. do you ever feel that way?"
i did not know how to respond to him as i did not know what once having started a men's group in oregon felt like, though i have read "iron john" and afterward remember feeling "what a fucking stupid book" so i could empathize maybe.

perhaps this exchange is an indication of the degree to which i feel integrated in tiny town. perhaps it just happened. perhaps the entire memory is made up and speaks more to the effects of the continually shrinking hat than to anything else.

Yeah, I'd say I feel I belong where I live now.

Amen.

Been in the Chi now for 6 months... and the God's honest truth is I'm a Texas boy and always will be.

i found chicago a tough place, if it's of any consolation, seaver.
i was there for two years and don't think i met anyone outside of the two networks i was part of, more or less--a philadelphia expat network, and one linked to the art institute.
i never liked chicago really, never felt i was part of anything there.
but i do miss the map room and the music scene and other, parallel things.
but they were more or less geographical features. you could turn up and have a great time and leave not knowing a single person new.

at a certain point, i decided it had to be my doing, but i've heard similar things from so many folk that i don't think it was.

Honestly it feels like High School it's so cliqish. Everyone it seems has lived here their whole lives, and are in no mood to have anyone new join them. People are nice when you talk to them, but it definitely feels like they are waiting for the conversation to end so they can go back to ignoring everyone else.

Much like New York it seems, I spent 1 week there and was ready to leave halfway through.

Wherever I've been, I've always felt comfortable and "at home".
Until I went back to visit. So I guess I grew out of each area. St. Augustine in college was difficult for many reasons (going back and forth twice a year, different dorm rooms, different rommates every year) but the location itself made me feel at home despite the small town. I had the fewest friends in Orlando but a group of classmates that fostered the sense of community and purpose. Sarasota is NOT the place I grew up anymore... where the hippies hung out outside the library and smoked pot and the cool people went to the topless beach. Too many high-rise condos and q-tips.
I've been in Jacksonville for 8 years and two months.
It's got the beach, some of the culture I need, hustle and bustle when I want it, quiet spots when I don't. It's a little overly-church focused at times, but I've learned how to shut it out. There are rednecks, society wenches, beach bums, yuppies, football players... you name it, we've got it. I'd like a mass-transit system but the city's just too damn big.
I feel at home near the water.
But then again, I felt really at home when I visited New York, San Francisco, Denmark and Sweden, too... maybe I'm just malleable.
Or maybe I only go places I like. :lol:
I think I could live almost anywhere that had sunshine. I have SAD so I must have sun sometimes.
Boston is not my town though.

I was raised in a small town and had strong sense of belonging there. But when I grew up I moved on to cities, where I graduated. My attitude, outlook everything changed. My gf is from a different community and mother tongue. After so many years now I do not belong to my home town. Even when I go there I cant stay for long time. Very strange. I like the place but dont belong there any more.

The place where I lived until two months ago, I dont feel I belong there too. How ever after travelling a week or so it always felt so good and home once back. But it is all about the home we had. Our pets, house, bed, sofa, etc. But now we had moved to wa state.

I still dont feel belonging here... above all I hardly feel belonging to any certain community of people. How ever I always have nice time with friends, colleagues and even strangers during travel. But always kept distance with neighbors.

I have always lived in the same area and so I'm not sure how I fit this question. But thinking about it a bit more, I realize that there was a time when I didn't feel I fit so well. I went to an international high school here, so I had quite a sheltered upbringing in terms of friends and school life. For that reason, I sometimes don't feel very portuguese. But I do remember some years ago when I travelled abroad, what I felt when I came back on the plane. I saw the Lisbon skyline, and the familiar monuments, the colourful buildings, the sea, and the light. And I felt an intense joy in my chest, and though "I'm so happy to be home, this is an amazing city and I love it!".

So I definitely feel at home here now and can appreciate it more. It helped when I started living in the real world. I still have moments of feeling like an outsider, but much less so these days.

I think that Portugal is a very welcoming place generally and people feel ta home very fast. This summer an old friend of mine who lives in England came out here for a visit. She hadn't been here in almost 10 years. She came with her new husband, and she loved it here and made several new friends. When she left, she cried. She's currently considering getting an apartment here to come for holidays regularly. So I think I'm quite lucky actually.

Though I often think that I'd love to live somewhere like New York or London, for a few years. Just for a change, and for the bustle of it all. It must be amazing for a time.

I love colorado but the burbs aren't for me. My hometown in WA state had 30K people in it. I am not sure that bigger towns are my thing.
Plus, I love to cycle everywhere and living in car central is irritating.
Oddly enough while at the same time I long for a smaller town, I find the idea of living in the central portion of a city appealing due to not needing a car. Too bad the schools suck and crime is higher. That and being stuck in my current home is a negative. No way I could sell this for what I owe.

Tucson? No way, its too hot for me :(

When I went to visit some relatives in Washington, that felt much better.

I have always been comfortable where I live, felt at home. I have lived in Minnesota my entire life. The hometown has grown considerably since I was a child though still is considered a rather small town. Now, I live a little closer to "the cities" than I would like, it is definitely more convenient for shopping though. It can be a pain to have to drive 45 minutes to an hour to get to a decent grocery store etc., having a kid I would hate to be forced to spend so much time in transit. After she grows up, I can see myself considering to settle in an area giving me a little less traffic and a bit more privacy.

I moved away from home about 4 years ago and family still thinks I am going to come back any day now. It is not going to happen. I belong where I am now.

This is perfect. I heard from Hal that you live by the beach. That's what I've always dreamed about. Maybe you and I could swap. I'm sure you will have a blast living with Hal here in New York and I will have a blast by the beach :D

Let's swap lives for a year or so :)

I started college at NYU a few weeks before the 9/11 attack. I was dead set of going back to my home of Oregon. However, the attacks changed me and the city. I decided to stay after college, and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. This city has everything a girl could need and more (except decent men), plus my job has been really good to me here.

Yeah, no decent men anywhere. In NYC. Geez.

None, that I have met. They are either egotistical, rude, married or gay.

Shit! I'm 3 of those things!

lol, well I guess that happens.

i've lived in central oregon for almost three years now. Before that, I was a Portland girl. I felt I belonged in Portland and suburbs for sure. It's a pretty quirky city and so am I. The public transportation is great and I felt comfortable as a pedistrian. I wasn't so sure if I fit in Central Oregon for a long while... and I feel I am finally acclimating to my environment. It's been a hard adjustment for me, even if it is only 3 1/2 hours from where I used to live (can you tell I don't venture out much? Imagine what it would be like for me if I moved to a different state or country... yikes). Central Oregon is very outdoorsy, and I don't like the culture as much as Portland. People seem more stand offish, uptight, and snobby here. I don't like that. While I love the outdoors, I didn't feel like I fit in because I don't get out much. That has changed.. I joined a walking/hiking group and am able to appreciate all the different nature areas around here! I love it. Still not as comfortable with the culture in general, but in terms of being outdoors oriented, I am MUCH more comfortable. I feel this is a pretty good step for me...

I think that finding the right place to live is a lot like finding the career or person (or both) of your dreams. There are places like New York City (and I name it because it was this for me) that are analogous to professions like doctor or lawyer or business person - the kinds of places that lots of people like to tell you are somehow more important or better or more challenging than other places. But just like what you decide to do to pay the rent and put food in your belly, it is a very personal thing and I am convinced that there are certain preferences imprinted on us. I spent five years trying to prove I could make it in NYC (to whom, I don't even know) and if I had stayed there, I'm sure I could have made it work on a basic level (career, apartment, friends, relationships). Yet it could never give me what I needed. For some people, it is exactly what they need.

I often feel as if I was always meant to live here in the DC area. When I moved here, a lot of buried memories of my interests as a child came back to me. I had a lot of books about historical places here on the east coast, American history, and the federal government. I had a fake Constitution and quill that my sister brought me after visiting here and I held onto it for over a decade. I officially started hating my classmates and the town I lived in when the Close Up DC program that 8th graders went on every year was canceled the year that would have brought me here because there was not enough interest. I even remember pleading with many of my friends to sign up so that I could go, but I couldn't get a one of them to want it and I just knew in that moment that I needed to get the hell out of Los Angeles. One kid, sounding way too proud of himself, even said, "Nahhhhh, too much structure. I'd rather stay here and ditch class and do what I want." :rolleyes:

I guess I try to pretend I'm impartial because I study geography and there are things to like and dislike about every place, but secretly, I love it here and I know it will always be my home even if move away next year and never have a chance to live here again. I even complain about a lot of things here (since I live in a suburb on the wrong side of DC where there are all kinds of silly regulations on things like alcohol), but it's in the way that one complains about a loved one leaving their dirty socks out. Sure, dirty socks on the floor are gross, but who cares when you're in love?

Yes, completely!

Especially when I am driving across the Bay Bridge into SF. It's such a lovely sight driving over the bay, the city looks so magical.

I have always loved the Bay Area. No matter where I have lived or visited, this has always seemed like home.

I've moved around so damn much, by the time I feel barely part of the group, I end up leaving. I've been so many places and acquired bits and pieces of habits and views from so many places (which may sound like I'm bragging. I'm not) I never feel like I fit in.
I feel like an alien on my own damn planet.

I am so comfortable in this town now (3 years after my first response) that the idea of leaving it is unpleasant. I know it will have to happen sometime; it's likely my husband won't be able to find work here and we will have to relocate. While he has applied for jobs everywhere, there are definitely preferred places on my list because I either know people already in those places, or feel like they have communities I would like to be a part of. Take Seattle, for example. I already have friends and family up there, and I've always found it an easy city to be in. I wouldn't mind Bend, Oregon either; Bend has a really awesome ultimate frisbee community that is very welcoming and friendly.

I vacillate between a desire to leave (this is the longest I've ever lived in one place) and a desire to stay (this is the best place I've ever lived).

No, the people are way different, I don't fit naturally, though I get by.

I feel I belong in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, but I haven't felt at home since my ex kicked me out.

Without a doubt, I feel most at home in Honolulu.
However, I dont live there.
Instead I currently live in a burb, having moved x1 month from PDX.
Not at all do I feel at home here. I miss a city and the camraderie.
Im making do though, carrying on eand being brave. Mastering the art.
Along with a little whining and dancing.

I still hate Utah (as does hubby), but we haven't managed to leave yet. We're still plotting our escape.

I am now in my fifth year of living in Singapore and I have to say, I still feel at home here.

The one thing that kind of sucks, living abroad, is that when you make friends with others who live abroad, they frequently move away. We have had a few of our friends leave over the last three years and another batch is getting ready to leave this summer. It sucks.

Regardless, I still love this place.

Im the other resident expat here, and i moved to DXB in february 2007. Like Charlatan, i too moved here alone for the first 10 months before my family came to be with me. I also did a lot of travel in those times, and got to know the city really well, so much so that i too give people directions to get to places. After a few years under your belt, you become an old dog in a city where there's always people coming and leaving.

I loved this place. I still do. It was quite difficult to get used to when i first arrived, because Sydney is starkly different in the way it is run, even though i am from a middle eastern and muslim background. I found it difficult to adjust. I know, it sounds ironic, but its true.

But after a while you fall in the pattern and you hit your stride. There's still much i dont like about this place, but there's a hell of a lot going for it to balance it out. you cant like everything about a place. It truely is a cosmopolitan city, with an emerging lifestyle, but it still needs some work, like most other countries.

It seems like i too will be on the next batch home this summer, after a 4.5 year stint, i have to say that i loved it. It gave me the opportunity to grow as a person, grow professionally, and discover things about myself and my interests that i had forgotten. I could say this place has wisened me up, by letting me become the individual ive become, and that is a good thing.

Sydney will always be home, but im afraid that i wont recognize it, or it wont recognize me. Either way, if we cant get along, ill most likely move out here again, or somewhere else exciting. Heck, maybe ill be charlatans neighbour one day. who knows :)