curiousbear

I was raised in a small town and had strong sense of belonging there. But when I grew up I moved on to cities, where I graduated. My attitude, outlook everything changed. My gf is from a different community and mother tongue. After so many years now I do not belong to my home town. Even when I go there I cant stay for long time. Very strange. I like the place but dont belong there any more.

The place where I lived until two months ago, I dont feel I belong there too. How ever after travelling a week or so it always felt so good and home once back. But it is all about the home we had. Our pets, house, bed, sofa, etc. But now we had moved to wa state.

I still dont feel belonging here... above all I hardly feel belonging to any certain community of people. How ever I always have nice time with friends, colleagues and even strangers during travel. But always kept distance with neighbors.

little_tippler

I have always lived in the same area and so I'm not sure how I fit this question. But thinking about it a bit more, I realize that there was a time when I didn't feel I fit so well. I went to an international high school here, so I had quite a sheltered upbringing in terms of friends and school life. For that reason, I sometimes don't feel very portuguese. But I do remember some years ago when I travelled abroad, what I felt when I came back on the plane. I saw the Lisbon skyline, and the familiar monuments, the colourful buildings, the sea, and the light. And I felt an intense joy in my chest, and though "I'm so happy to be home, this is an amazing city and I love it!".

So I definitely feel at home here now and can appreciate it more. It helped when I started living in the real world. I still have moments of feeling like an outsider, but much less so these days.

I think that Portugal is a very welcoming place generally and people feel ta home very fast. This summer an old friend of mine who lives in England came out here for a visit. She hadn't been here in almost 10 years. She came with her new husband, and she loved it here and made several new friends. When she left, she cried. She's currently considering getting an apartment here to come for holidays regularly. So I think I'm quite lucky actually.

Though I often think that I'd love to live somewhere like New York or London, for a few years. Just for a change, and for the bustle of it all. It must be amazing for a time.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

TwoPly

I love colorado but the burbs aren't for me. My hometown in WA state had 30K people in it. I am not sure that bigger towns are my thing.
Plus, I love to cycle everywhere and living in car central is irritating.
Oddly enough while at the same time I long for a smaller town, I find the idea of living in the central portion of a city appealing due to not needing a car. Too bad the schools suck and crime is higher. That and being stuck in my current home is a negative. No way I could sell this for what I owe.

Spartanx9

Tucson? No way, its too hot for me

When I went to visit some relatives in Washington, that felt much better.

Ayashe

I have always been comfortable where I live, felt at home. I have lived in Minnesota my entire life. The hometown has grown considerably since I was a child though still is considered a rather small town. Now, I live a little closer to "the cities" than I would like, it is definitely more convenient for shopping though. It can be a pain to have to drive 45 minutes to an hour to get to a decent grocery store etc., having a kid I would hate to be forced to spend so much time in transit. After she grows up, I can see myself considering to settle in an area giving me a little less traffic and a bit more privacy.

annie1

I moved away from home about 4 years ago and family still thinks I am going to come back any day now. It is not going to happen. I belong where I am now.

zkara

This is perfect. I heard from Hal that you live by the beach. That's what I've always dreamed about. Maybe you and I could swap. I'm sure you will have a blast living with Hal here in New York and I will have a blast by the beach

Let's swap lives for a year or so

333halfabeast

I started college at NYU a few weeks before the 9/11 attack. I was dead set of going back to my home of Oregon. However, the attacks changed me and the city. I decided to stay after college, and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. This city has everything a girl could need and more (except decent men), plus my job has been really good to me here.

Halx

Yeah, no decent men anywhere. In NYC. Geez.

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333halfabeast

None, that I have met. They are either egotistical, rude, married or gay.

Halx

Shit! I'm 3 of those things!

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333halfabeast

lol, well I guess that happens.

anti fishstick

i've lived in central oregon for almost three years now. Before that, I was a Portland girl. I felt I belonged in Portland and suburbs for sure. It's a pretty quirky city and so am I. The public transportation is great and I felt comfortable as a pedistrian. I wasn't so sure if I fit in Central Oregon for a long while... and I feel I am finally acclimating to my environment. It's been a hard adjustment for me, even if it is only 3 1/2 hours from where I used to live (can you tell I don't venture out much? Imagine what it would be like for me if I moved to a different state or country... yikes). Central Oregon is very outdoorsy, and I don't like the culture as much as Portland. People seem more stand offish, uptight, and snobby here. I don't like that. While I love the outdoors, I didn't feel like I fit in because I don't get out much. That has changed.. I joined a walking/hiking group and am able to appreciate all the different nature areas around here! I love it. Still not as comfortable with the culture in general, but in terms of being outdoors oriented, I am MUCH more comfortable. I feel this is a pretty good step for me...

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

Supple Cow

I think that finding the right place to live is a lot like finding the career or person (or both) of your dreams. There are places like New York City (and I name it because it was this for me) that are analogous to professions like doctor or lawyer or business person - the kinds of places that lots of people like to tell you are somehow more important or better or more challenging than other places. But just like what you decide to do to pay the rent and put food in your belly, it is a very personal thing and I am convinced that there are certain preferences imprinted on us. I spent five years trying to prove I could make it in NYC (to whom, I don't even know) and if I had stayed there, I'm sure I could have made it work on a basic level (career, apartment, friends, relationships). Yet it could never give me what I needed. For some people, it is exactly what they need.

I often feel as if I was always meant to live here in the DC area. When I moved here, a lot of buried memories of my interests as a child came back to me. I had a lot of books about historical places here on the east coast, American history, and the federal government. I had a fake Constitution and quill that my sister brought me after visiting here and I held onto it for over a decade. I officially started hating my classmates and the town I lived in when the Close Up DC program that 8th graders went on every year was canceled the year that would have brought me here because there was not enough interest. I even remember pleading with many of my friends to sign up so that I could go, but I couldn't get a one of them to want it and I just knew in that moment that I needed to get the hell out of Los Angeles. One kid, sounding way too proud of himself, even said, "Nahhhhh, too much structure. I'd rather stay here and ditch class and do what I want."

I guess I try to pretend I'm impartial because I study geography and there are things to like and dislike about every place, but secretly, I love it here and I know it will always be my home even if move away next year and never have a chance to live here again. I even complain about a lot of things here (since I live in a suburb on the wrong side of DC where there are all kinds of silly regulations on things like alcohol), but it's in the way that one complains about a loved one leaving their dirty socks out. Sure, dirty socks on the floor are gross, but who cares when you're in love?

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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)

lostgirl

Yes, completely!

Especially when I am driving across the Bay Bridge into SF. It's such a lovely sight driving over the bay, the city looks so magical.

I have always loved the Bay Area. No matter where I have lived or visited, this has always seemed like home.

skizziks

I've moved around so damn much, by the time I feel barely part of the group, I end up leaving. I've been so many places and acquired bits and pieces of habits and views from so many places (which may sound like I'm bragging. I'm not) I never feel like I fit in.
I feel like an alien on my own damn planet.

snowy

I am so comfortable in this town now (3 years after my first response) that the idea of leaving it is unpleasant. I know it will have to happen sometime; it's likely my husband won't be able to find work here and we will have to relocate. While he has applied for jobs everywhere, there are definitely preferred places on my list because I either know people already in those places, or feel like they have communities I would like to be a part of. Take Seattle, for example. I already have friends and family up there, and I've always found it an easy city to be in. I wouldn't mind Bend, Oregon either; Bend has a really awesome ultimate frisbee community that is very welcoming and friendly.

I vacillate between a desire to leave (this is the longest I've ever lived in one place) and a desire to stay (this is the best place I've ever lived).

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

IamDoomsday

No, the people are way different, I don't fit naturally, though I get by.

Ourcrazymodern?

I feel I belong in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, but I haven't felt at home since my ex kicked me out.

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girldetective

Without a doubt, I feel most at home in Honolulu.
However, I dont live there.
Instead I currently live in a burb, having moved x1 month from PDX.
Not at all do I feel at home here. I miss a city and the camraderie.
Im making do though, carrying on eand being brave. Mastering the art.
Along with a little whining and dancing.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Grasshopper Green

I still hate Utah (as does hubby), but we haven't managed to leave yet. We're still plotting our escape.

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

Charlatan

I am now in my fifth year of living in Singapore and I have to say, I still feel at home here.

The one thing that kind of sucks, living abroad, is that when you make friends with others who live abroad, they frequently move away. We have had a few of our friends leave over the last three years and another batch is getting ready to leave this summer. It sucks.

Regardless, I still love this place.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

dlish

Im the other resident expat here, and i moved to DXB in february 2007. Like Charlatan, i too moved here alone for the first 10 months before my family came to be with me. I also did a lot of travel in those times, and got to know the city really well, so much so that i too give people directions to get to places. After a few years under your belt, you become an old dog in a city where there's always people coming and leaving.

I loved this place. I still do. It was quite difficult to get used to when i first arrived, because Sydney is starkly different in the way it is run, even though i am from a middle eastern and muslim background. I found it difficult to adjust. I know, it sounds ironic, but its true.

But after a while you fall in the pattern and you hit your stride. There's still much i dont like about this place, but there's a hell of a lot going for it to balance it out. you cant like everything about a place. It truely is a cosmopolitan city, with an emerging lifestyle, but it still needs some work, like most other countries.

It seems like i too will be on the next batch home this summer, after a 4.5 year stint, i have to say that i loved it. It gave me the opportunity to grow as a person, grow professionally, and discover things about myself and my interests that i had forgotten. I could say this place has wisened me up, by letting me become the individual ive become, and that is a good thing.

Sydney will always be home, but im afraid that i wont recognize it, or it wont recognize me. Either way, if we cant get along, ill most likely move out here again, or somewhere else exciting. Heck, maybe ill be charlatans neighbour one day. who knows

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