Halx

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Tilted Forum Project,

In the changing environment of the internet, discussion forums have risen and fallen in popularity throughout the 6 and a half years of the TFP's existence. We've survived this long and we have a very bright future ahead of us, but none of that is a certainty without a little direction. From the fateful Sunday morning when the Tilted Forum Project was thrust into the eyes of thousands of visiting surfers, the users have embraced its name to mean something special; something different. We're not straight, aligned or even; we're tilted. That means something to people who are tired of being ordinary. That has been the edge that members use to set this forum apart from all the others. Its now important that we define and enforce what it means to be Tilted so that we can push forward through the crowded space of the social internet and maintain our spirit and charm.

Being Tilted is not easy. It takes a lot of passion to endure the standards that you'll be held up to. As a Tilted member, you will be challenged to participate thoughtfully and with maturity. In the afterglow of making your magnum opus of discussion posts, you will have it debated, dismissed and discounted. This is the nature of standards - tempering in the fires of clashing opinions. It takes a strong will to accept the criticism of your efforts and learn from it rather than rebel. In the beginning, this was the strength of the TFP. It was a bustling discussion forum, filled with healthy debate and astounding maturity. When this works, the community as a whole is a wonder to behold because each member carries with them the pride of living up to its standards.

Many people credited the moderators with the gracious state of the forum, but as an observer I can tell you that the moderators were only a small part of this. The community itself, as a function of the pride that everyone was feeling, did most of the police work. When a person was out of line, other members would swiftly correct them instead of waiting for a moderator to pick up the trash. When users had problems with each other, they would hash it out in private and come to a mature understanding. Everyone was willing to compromise. Everyone was willing to help. This was a well-oiled machine and there is no reason why it cannot be restored to its original condition.

The internet is an environment like any other. The trends we see on the websites around us affect how relevant we are. Social networking sites make it easier for people to connect. There are a thousand sites that allow you to post your writing, artwork and photos. You can create your own full-featured and customized blog within minutes elsewhere on the net. There are dating sites. There are flirting sites. There are gaming sites and sports sites and car sites. The variety of the internet makes it possible to attend to your interests by just maintaining a simple list of bookmarks. So, where do forums fit in? Or rather the question should be: how can OUR forums stand out?

The defining characteristic of the TFP has always been the maturity that everyone carries themselves with. Being Tilted means that as a part of this community, you are free to respect and be respected. Any disagreement you have will be met with an offer to come to an understanding. As a member, you are obligated to make and accept that offer. In that way we can grow together stronger. Our forum will not be about the agenda of our majority, but of the ability of the majority to welcome the opinions of the minority into the discussion. Our forum will be about the constructive criticism and guiding advice that our members expound to each other. Our forum will be about people always getting a thoughtful response to their discussions and inquiries. In a vast space that is crowded with voices, the TFP is and will always be capable of hearing each and every one that speaks. That is what sets us apart.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being members of the Tilted Forum Project. I hope that you all hear me loud and clear. This is what it means to be Tilted. This is what I expect from every one of you. Make everyone around you proud.

-Hal

As an addendum, I would like to display for you all the moderator job description. This is a little bit of transparency to show you what we in the staff are focusing on when we log in every day. We strive to make this a great place to be and I hope you'll all take the responsibility of being a member on your shoulders.

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You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]

DaveOrion

One of the defining characteristics of a mature board is its ability to have tolerance for others. Younger, college educated members may dismiss the views of some because of their higher education & often seem to forget that its the diversity of all the members thats makes a successful board. When TFP can accept & welcome other members without making judgments based on religious beliefs & education, then & only then will it truly be a cut above the rest.

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

Halx

Well, everyone here is playing in the 'sandbox' built by a kid who has dropped out of college 5 times. Is the joke on them or can they use that to understand that the world isn't shaped by the plaques you earn, but by the good that you do?

On the other hand, can the people who have put in the hard work to get those degrees have the humility to accept differing opinions? Nobody wants to have some amateur tell them something about their line of study is incorrect, but this is where temperament comes into play.

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[Don't Feed The Animals]

Cynthetiq

Thank you for this OP. I've been thinking on this for a couple weeks now wondering what our point of difference is and how we've achieved it in the past.

I'm not sure that it is humility that we're looking for, maybe it is. The converse is that the youth don't claim agism as a reason for not engaging in the discussion at critical thinking levels, or maybe for them it is also humility in putting aside different preconcieved notions.

I know that I carry them from time to time, but I find this place most satisfying when I realize like training wheels on a bike, I didn't need them at all, as someone just opened my mind into something of a different point of view.

Kumbaya around the campfire

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Redjake

I think this is an excellent description!

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Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

DaveOrion

Temperament is great & so is a little respect. You said that respect had to be earned here (can't recall the thread, but I think that was you) yet I have a daughter your age and I still consider her a kid. She works full time & goes to college, is highly intelligent but hasn't gained the wisdom that age brings. So I consider you a kid, nothing personal thats just the way it is. I've served in the military, worked my entire life, supported my family, started my own business and ran it for 20 years, and now own a beautiful home on 3 1/2 acres thats completely paid for & I have no debt whatsoever, yet I should earn your respect??? What exactly have you done to earn my respect??? If you're going to say "started a message board", well, that ain't gonna do it for me.

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

Cynthetiq

well, you don't have to if you don't want to.

and it doesn't have to do it for you. the most interesting thing is that you don't have to be here at all if you don't want to. But apparently you want to in some fashion because you've been here for over a year now.

So maybe you may need to understand what respect means in someone else's vernacular and day to day speak. It may not be your grandfather's meaning. It may not be the hip hop 1990's meaning. But somewhere in this dialogue it has a meaning.

So let me ask you, if you encounter someone else who just logged on who didn't even do nothing but log on, how do you earn their respect? How do they earn yours? Or do you show them that you've got no debt and own your home outright and they should just respect you instantly?

It isn't about the fact that someone started a message board, it's that someone here is trying to interact with another individual. Just how do you have respect for them, their beliefs and ideas? And how should they respect you, your beliefs and your ideas?

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

ratbastid

I think that "respect has to be earned" is a piss-poor approach to interacting with our fellow human beings.

I try to live from "my respect is automatically granted until lost"? Some people manage to lose my respect pretty quick, and some take a while. Most people, though, I continue to respect for what they are and what they're not, regardless of their background, age, politics, or philosophy. And I don't set the bar too high for people to redeem themselves, either--and I can name several TFP members who HAVE regained my respect after losing it.

I submit to you that "respect has to be earned" is not the TFP way. That's certainly not the attitude we display in our "Newbies Introducing Themselves" threads.

JustJess

Respect is earned, but some of it is just plain manners... it is polite to listen to what others have to say and not immediately shout something rude just because we can. Respect is also a habit, and one that you seem to have fallen out of. It is one that TFP strives to practice as much as possible - to respectfully disagree with others.

Part of what makes TFP great is that it affords the opportunity to learn and appreciate another point of view.

It seems to me that you have missed that opportunity.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

Halx

I can't remember ever saying respect had to be earned. Sounds like anyone could have said it, ya know, as a throw-away. Sounds like history, whatever it is. Sounds like stuff we're not even talking about.

But if you do ask me what I've done to earn your respect, I'm not gonna say "I started a message board." I'm gonna say "I started a message board that you post on." All the remaining logic and forethought and decency and intuition and common sense should fall into place from there.

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You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]

jorgelito

Excellent post, very well articulated and poignant. Thank you. This should be made a 'Sticky' for all to read.

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"The race is not always to the swift, nor battle to the strong, but
to the one that endures to the end."

"Demand more from yourself, more than anyone else could ever ask!"

- My recruiter

SecretMethod70

Everyone has preconceived notions from time to time, but I've found the average active TFP member to be rather open-minded about ideas and where they come from. It is important that "younger, college educated members" respect the views and experiences of older, perhaps less educated members, but it also important that respect is given to those who have put in the time and hard work to achieve a higher education and master a subject or subjects. I see both forms of respect about equally around here, and that's more than can be said about many other places.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Poppinjay

Part of me wants to argue against DaveOrion's post on respect. There are posters here who gained it from me with their first posts. There are others who lost it the same way.

But the fact of the matter is that there are those who felt driven away because of their political beliefs or their religious beliefs. For some reason, Buddhism can be discussed, Islam can be discussed, Toaism, Hindi, Judea, Wicca, all can be discussed. But whenever a thread is started on Christianity, there is always an element who feels compelled to comment, "nah, bunch of foolishness".

I'm reminded of the time Pastor Tim started a thread on relevant bible passages, and ended up leaving the board. Why can't these philosophies be discussed without someone slamming the whole idea? What Christians are supposed to follow has nothing to do with televanglists or boufant hairdoos in pastel pants suits.

Maybe I should call people on those particular posts, but that's no fun. I'm not a thumper by any means, and would describe myself as a taoist more than anything, but I really like reading about different religious beliefs and don't understand why there is such an anti-christ (OMG! TFP is teh 666!) attitude.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Halx

Poppinjay,

Having your ideas dismissed is all a part of discussion. I do think that better discussion could be had, but it is everyone's responsibility to foster it and nurture it. Personally, I can't say much for bible verses other than, "bunch of ominous directives" and be done with it. Maybe we need more people of faith around to fill up the discussion where atheists can't help.

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You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]

Poppinjay

I have no problems with my ideas being dismissed. Bring on the sin! Avarice and sloth are my specialties.

I just would hope before somebody does a drive by posting on how stupid Christianity is, they actually read the thread before showing how cool they are.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Bill O'Rights

I think that a lot of people here are confusing respecting someone with treating someone with respect.

Let's use this for a moment;

Anyone want to argue that Mr. Orion here has accomplished quite a bit in his life, that is worthy of respect? Absolutely, he has! However...if it doesn't fall within your particular value set, then who really cares? Consider...Dave has served in the Armed Forces. As a vet myself, I value and respect that. Not everyone will. He has worked his entire life, supported his family and ran his own business. I also value and respect that. Not everyone will. Thing is, Dave picked up some life experience along the way. I'm guessing that Dave is around my age. So, here comes a goofy looking kid from California, that creates a message board and transplants himself into New York. We'll call him...oh, I dunno...Halx. Now Halx is just another 20 something that still forgets to wash behind his ears. But...it doesn't take too long talking to "the kid" to realize that, dispite his lack of formal education, has a head on his shoulders. He's not a "reactionary". He figures things out. And while we may not always come to the same conclusion, I can appreciate how he arrived there. It's respect. Halx has also forgotten more about technology than I'll ever know. Then again...it's not in my value set. I just don't care that much about it. But...I do respect it. That's key here, people. Respecting that which you may not value.
So, while "respect" doesn't have to necessarily be "earned"...that, I think, is the best kind. The rest all sort of falls into place. But in order to get there, you have to open your mind up long enough, and treat the other guy with enough respect, and you will, before long, find that the other guy has now "earned" your respect.

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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

mixedmedia

On a message board, all you've got to go by when dishing out respect is what folks are putting out there in words.
Personally, that's the way I like it.
That's the way I do it in 'real life.'
I really don't care what a person has 'accomplished' at work or in their life otherwise.
It's how you think and what you feel that earn my respect.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce