Jetée

Awesome. This thread is now subscribed. I will also begin training the grip after reading the hilarious and hardcore testimonials of the benefits. Yeah!

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Tully Mars

I'm impressed, you two are completely insane.

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Redjake

AS PROMISED

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Lasereth

BEST VIDEO EVER!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing how you just clamp it shut at the end, when only two weeks prior you could only get it within a half inch of closing. I need to shoot a video of me closing it now!

Bear Cub

You had me at the Mountain Dew.


You guys should sell these puppies on the Tilted Marketplace as you finish them. It'd be neat to see the grippers make their way around the TFP. Soon, the TFP will have the most powerful forearms out of any online community!

Although, between the Titty Board and Exhibition forums, that may already be the case...

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Redjake

Nothing can prepare this forum for what I'm getting ready to say, so I'll let the invoice speak for itself:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ITEM# DESCRIPTION QTY TOTAL
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1253 No.3 Captains of Crush® Hand Grip 1 $19.95

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1376 Expand-Your-Hand Bands™ 1 $11.95

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1415 IMTUG5: The Two-Finger Gripper 1 $19.95

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SUB TOTAL: $51.85
TAX: $0.00
SHIPPING: $11.00 DOMESTIC REGULAR SHIPPING
ORDER TOTAL: $62.85

That's right, I'm going for the No. 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Redjake

I just nearly broke my hand.......it is tingling all over, splotchy red, and a bruise has formed on my wrist.........

As usual, a video to show the outcome of my first No. 3 attempt.......make sure you have sound on for full effect! Watch it in HD!

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Vigilante

HAHAHAH I am amused. I may have to try this thing out too.

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Lasereth

I tried out redjake's No. 3 today and it was really hard. Basically shut-a-brick status. I'm not sure I even got it parallel...........

Redjake

I am finally making some progress on the No. 3. As I state in my Youtube video, it's like trying to shut something that simply doesn't shut. Either way, up until today I was genuinely worried I wouldn't be able to ever close the damn thing! Earlier this week I started just absolutely TORMENTING my hand by squeezing as absolutely hard as I could to where I am red in the face, and guess what? Today, after my hand muscles rebuilt for 3 days, my hand felt stronger and I did the following:

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Stoked

You're the man.
So incredibly entertaining.

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Redjake

7-week Update on the No. 3! I feel much more powerful with it now, even though I've not closed it. It just feels easier now - I am moving my forecast up by a couple of months. I will have it shut in 2-3 months.

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Cynosure

I, too, believe in a firm handshake. However, when I shake hands with a guy and he gives me an overpowered, vice-like grip, I smile and think, "Dude, I'm not impressed."

Redjake

I don't find myself shaking hands any firmer or stronger than usual. I do find myself constantly astounded by how strong my grip is though! My grip will turn goat piss into gasoline.

Tully Mars

I believe we've found our answer the nations energy short falls.

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Zeraph

hah. that's awesome. I've tried using those and my hands always get too sore (the bones/tendons not the muscles). What I'm thinking now though is the ones I have are far too weak cause I end up doing a few dozen reps which is probably why my hand gets sore. I may have to order some tougher ones to try it out.

How many reps are you guys doing for training?

Is gripping an olympic sport yet?

Redjake

I used to do around 50 - 100 reps per day on the No. 1 to get ready for the No. 2, but since I'm now on the No. 3, I can't do more than 10-20 full squeezes else I will sprain my hand and bruises start forming on the inside of my wrists.

I do 10-20 full squeezes on the No. 3 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and do 30 IMTUG No. 5 squeezes on the same days (IMTUG is a 2-finger hand grip).

On Tuesday and Thursday I do around 150 outward expands with the Ironmind Expand Your Hand Bands®.

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Fremen

Heh, this is a weird thread.
It starts out like an infomercial, then if you're not careful in your reading, you think it's about scat humor. Then it turns nostalgic with the mentioning of the breaking of the tennis balls, a la the old Bionic Woman tv series.

I had a pair of cheapo handgrips that had plastic handles with a padded covering on them.
I used them enough the covering wore off in places, so I duct-taped them.
Lost them in the move, though.

I think I need to look into getting me one of these.

Thanks for the entertaining thread, Jake.

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Craven Morehead

No kidding, this thread is great entertainment.

MoonDog

OMG!

The video with the Mountain Dew 12-packs...where you demonstrated your monstrous power?!?!
Then the statement where you inform us that your grip turns goat piss into gasoline?!?!?!?

This, my friends, is the thread of the freaking YEAR!

blahblah454

I am wondering if any of your guys would be up for selling me an older one that you no longer use. I have never used one so I would be starting at a lower weight.

Redjake

I actually still use all of mine for warm ups. I started out at the #1, which is still very difficult to close - I do 10 reps with each hand to warm up. If I had some of the weaker ones I would certainly be up for it though!

speaking of this thread, the #3 is just insanely difficult. I haven't made much of any visible progress since the last video I posted a while back. To put it bluntly, I've reached a plateau and it's very difficult to get past it. I can close the #2 like it is rubber now (and it used to be an epic feat for me) but the No. 3 is just absurdly hard to shut. ALL of my coworkers refuse to believe it's even possible - imagine it being that hard. There are some that I've let try it that can't even move it at all, can't even make it bulge. Things are getting very serious.

The main issue is that you can't fuck around with the No. 3. With the No. 1 and No. 2, I just kind of did whatever I wanted Monday through Friday and took it off on the weekends. With the No. 3, if I do it more than Monday and Friday (just two days out of 7) my hands cramp up and I can't even touch the No. 1, much less 2 or 3. The no. 3 completely rapes your hands and forearms. Very serious business. I haven't given up hope, but I have completely given up on coming up with an accurate estimate of when this will happen - it could be a year from now.

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Plan9

Hahah... got your uniform already?
-----Added 26/1/2009 at 09 : 59 : 42-----
Redjake, you are my new hero.

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blahblah454

I will keep you in my prayers Redjake

Fremen

Hey Red, I bet your crotch cringes when your hand gets near it.

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biznatch

When you achieve this, you'll feel like God. Just make sure you don't snap a tendon/tear a muscle in your hand.

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Redjake

I have created a chart explaining my progress. As you can see, I am stuck somewhere in between the No. 2 and No. 3. I do not have a 2.5, but am considering ordering one. I can get the No. 3 about 75% closed but I haven't made any real progress in months.

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im2smrt4u

So, if I want to try these, where should I start? Sport?

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Anormalguy

, or ?

I guess that it's good to have a hobby.

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Lasereth

Do you work out at all or have you worked out at all? Do you work at a job that requires physical labor?

If any of these are true I would start with the Trainer, maybe even the No. 1. If not, you may want to start with the Sport.

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im2smrt4u

Nothing more physical than carrying computers and bins of mail. It is definitely between the Sport and Trainer, no way could I close the #1 without anything else before.

Perhaps get the Sport, Trainer, and #1 to save on shipping and have plenty of room to work up?

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Lasereth

That sounds good. I imagine you will be able to close the Sport and probably the Trainer as well. No. 1 will give you trouble though. All 3 will help you with training.

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im2smrt4u

Alright, I ordered those three. We'll see how I can do!

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icevrething

I used to have a deathgrip, as I was able to beat the strongest people in the game of mercy (I'm only 5' 7"). However, when I became a vegan 3 1/2 years ago I became extremely weak. Since last fall I've been working out and doing yoga, but this seems like a good outlet to get my grip back that I loved having. It really feels good to beat anyone you're challenging at mercy. I want that feeling! BTW I am now a vegetarian in hopes of gaining more muscle faster(cheese, yum!)

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Cynosure

A firm handshake can indeed make an impression, and usually a good one. (Particularly between men. Women tend to be unimpressed.) However, too firm a handshake can make a bad impression. To me, an overtly firm, overly strong handshake from a guy makes me look askance at him, wondering why he's being so physically overt, and thus I become initially on guard toward him.

Redjake

Whenever I shake hands I attempt to crush their bones into dust.

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Tully Mars

Why?

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Redjake

I was just joking. There are umpteen references in this thread about people not enjoying when people crush their hands in a handshake, even though Lasereth and myself have confessed to not doing so.

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Tully Mars

I see. I read a lot of posts a day and rarely go back to OP on a several page thread.

Carry on.

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Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Redjake

I've been able to shut the No. 2 for a while now and I've been working on the No. 3 for a very long time. I haven't made any visible progress (in my opinion) but I went to shut the No. 2 a couple of days ago and it's a cake walk now. It used to be nearly impossible. I guess that means I'm making *some* sort of progress, but the No. 3 seems impossible right now!

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