inBOIL

Ruby red grapefruit juice tastes horrid when it's made with Splenda.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Kpax

Ha! I have something really relevant to add to this thread. Today, while at work, as I contemplate while working, I came to the epiphany/revelation that it is all-wise to go about life without any certain standard or expectation for it, and consider no situation to be extra-traumatic.

In other words, as the morbid things happen, you will just face them as simply a situation you haven't yet encountered in life, instead of looking at it like, "Wow, this absolutely shouldn't be happening. It's ridiculous..." because life has no standard or honor, nor has it signed any treaty with any member of humanity.

No situation or unforeseen occurence in life is something you should think could never happen. With that, you will face a situation, a new one and possibly a terrifying one, with more focus. Get it out of the way first, then look back on it with disbelief.

I don't know if anyone will read this whole thing but if you do, you will gain what took me 26 years to realize, in a few minutes.

Tophat665

I have learned that breeding is a mistake, and that a second child does not lead to any sort of economy of scale.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Willravel

Ellipticals aren't just for women.

lotsofmagnets

when, at the start of a long dirt road in a country notorious for poor roads, there is a pool of water, diameter about 4m, depth about 50cm, it´s probably an indicator as to what you´re going to face further down so don´t just drive around it and hope for the best...

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Tophat665

When you have an excel workbook with detailed records on one spreadsheet and a summary on the second spreadsheet, it is important to make sure that the summary subtotals equal the detail subtotals.

Similarly, it is important if you have a target total and a bunch of items that are supposed to add up to something near that total, make sure you sum the items and compare the total with the target.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Ourcrazymodern?

I learnt my meaning of life is currently inaccessible.

Y nada mas.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Martian

This is ridiculously true. Back when I was actually fit I used to love ellipticals on rainy days when my knees were too sore to run. Fuck what other people think, you're not at the gym for them anyway.

Unless you're trying to pick up. But there are easier places for that. Places where you don't have to sweat.

I learned that even though I've been playing guitar for years I've been doing it wrong. I learned that classical is fucking hard. And I learned that I love it.

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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Bear Cub

That the junker wheels I picked up to throw my spare tires on weigh a TON.

I also learned that a diotomaceous earth filter for an inground pool is absolutely worthless if it doesn't have a backwash feature built in.

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Living in the United Socialist States of America.

Willravel

I CAN overcook chicken. Oh boy can I. So much so I had to go back and braise it.

Baraka_Guru

I should have purchased an acoustic guitar 15 years ago.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

DaveOrion

Working on cars with a PCM/ECM & sensors is extremely difficult even when you have a digital multimeter, code reader, & many years of experience working with all of the above.

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

yellowmac

Forget about trying to get much real work done the first day back from vacation. Just do small, mundane tasks that you've been putting off for a while to get back into the proper mindset.

RetroGunslinger

Apparently in order to get rid of your Mormon girlfriend's crazy ex, she simply has to talk to him to keep him away. No need to cut his balls off and shove them down his throat.

Who knew?

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It's a rare pleasure in this world to get your mind fucked. Usually it's just foreplay.

M.B. Keene

Tully Mars

That I really don't know all that much.

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

lotsofmagnets

when starting a bbq, down stand over it, especially if you´re having trouble lighting it as your beard will disappear and your eyelashes will look straight ou of a clockwork orange.

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

highthief

Running in 30 degree Celsius heat with a humity index of 36 degrees is a bad idea.

Ran 8k this morning and just about died - it was hot!

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Si vis pacem parabellum.

uncle phil

i learnt how to spell "learned" today...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

noodle

I learned never to crawl across the bed on sunburned knees.



Yesterday and into this morning, I learned that Rock Star for PS3 is awesome. And that my SO can actually sing. And that boys will play something like that, given enough alcohol, until four in the morning.

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Borgs

Ignorance is a ripe piece of fruit waiting to be picked. And how sweet it is.

ottopilot

Giant Pandas are indeed bears and the smaller Red Panda is related to the raccoon. I was taught in high school that the giant panda was related to raccoons, not bears.

neat.

Tophat665

I'll be damned. I thought for sure they were still procyonids, but following from Wikipedia to the O'Brien, Nash, Wildt, Bush & Benveniste article in Nature (September '85) and reading the abstract, yup, that's a bear alright.

Who'd'a thunk it.

That's my new larnin' for today.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Cynthetiq

I can paint 2.5 rooms and it looks good.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

stevie667

Never say 'hi' to a sniffer dog.

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Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

snowy

Yes, Hamm's will give you a hangover.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

biznatch

Shaking Hideo Kojima's hand and getting his autograph on my MGS3 game disc was totally worth 2 and a half hours waiting in the sun in downtown manhattan.

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Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

Tophat665

If you are trying to cut a straight line with a circular saw, do not stand on the cord.

The blade will pull toward the motor housing and your cut will wander to the right. It does not matter if you have a guid fence clamped in place; that will only cause the blade to jam quicker. If this ever happens to you, you may think that you have a warped blade. If you remove the blade (after giving it time to cool) and find that it is not warped, and you can put the cut back on track with a hand saw, pay careful attention to where your cord is - it's likely if the blade is straight and the cord is not underfoot, you'll have no trouble cutting a straight line against a guide fence.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.