LoganSnake

A common interest among masterminds of the criminal underworld, but a cohesive attainable goal?

Let's say you took over the world, then what? How would you police it? What would stop someone on the other side of the planet from building an even bigger ray gun then your's? What would prevent them from making a pact with the devil in exchange for a wish and in turn using that wish to wish for the ability to bend you over the kitchen sink?

Don't buy anything from the ACME Company and don't force people into compact freight cars like cattle, it won't end well, and your plans for world domination will be like that plastic bag from American Beauty.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


This isn't a topic I think about often, but once in a while a thought comes to mind and I would drift off thinking about what would happen once I get to the top. Seeing as how I know zilch about politics, I would need to procure some loyal henchmen and keep that loyalty under fear of death (their family gets murdered, they get to watch). A ruler of the world needs to be a tyrant, the way I see it.

My personal henchmen squad would consist of world's top 50 scientists to work on new technology, top 10 politicians to make up laws to be approved by me, top 200 doctors to advance global medicine into the new era, top 10 architects (3 of whom would work exclusively on my fortress) to give the new world a distinctive feel and world's top 5 lawyers just in case. My personal bodyguard will consist of the world’s top 20 assassins and top 10 mercenaries. I would also establish (or use existing) training facilities to make such assassins/bodyguards as Jason Bourne or perhaps with the help of my scientists develop a Super Soldier Serum or something similar to Cyborg Ninja’s exoskeleton suit (Crysis type suits would suffice).

Freedom of religion is fine by me and would not be interfered with. Cults (manipulating people into giving money, sex, services to the “overlord”), will be disbanded under penalty of death. It’s impossible to be loved by all, but I would certainly strive for the approval of majority. Even with 60-70% approval that’s over 4 billion people on my side.

Education system would be one of my top priorities. Taking a country with the top education system and highest average test scores and applying it to the rest of the world would do the trick. Wars would be abolished since there would be no reason for fighting for land as it will all belong to me and be unified under one flag. Individual republics would be established and governed by appointed people, but they would all answer to me.

Eh, I’m out of ideas at the moment.

Let’s hear yours.

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Glory's Sun

I'd just stick to having lots of hot harlots and an army of blue haired ninja midgets.

Martian

Make sure you read the list.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Hain

Yep read that list.

Me, I would create a set of happy feel good drugs that motivate people to do the right thing and be nice to one another. After I watched this spread like fire in the world, I would then take it myself, and become happy.

__________________

////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

dksuddeth

there is no way to have a peaceful utopia and still have freedom. So, i'd let my people have their one vote. they can have freedom or they can have peace.

__________________
"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

Ustwo

I would start by being a very environmentally motivated ruler.

Ustwo?? You who think the global warming scare is mostly a scam?!?

Yes, and I would start by reducing a lot of carbon foot prints to zero. (maniacal laughter)

(and Yes the laughing violates the rules on the list, but you gotta have SOME fun)

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

lotsofmagnets

in the end it doesn´t matter. you can´t please everybody and eventually someone with a sniper rifle won´t miss.

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Ustwo

Gun control, worked for Stalin

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Willravel

So this is maintaining control, not gaining it. In my younger more innocent years I did think about what it would be like to have totalitarian rule over the world. The issue I kept running into, though, is that a dominated people aren't free and aren't happy, so it makes little sense from a human rights perspective. If I were a totalitarian leader, I'd be heartless and power-hungry; ruthless. It's basically the anti-Willavel.

I'd probably use religion to keep the ignorant surfs in line. Nothing gets sheeple to follow you like religion. "Do what I say" isn't as impressive as "do what god told me to tell you". I suspect it's why monarchies were linked to the church in the past. Get fake religious scholars on 24 hour religious networks repeating the bullshit and most would follow if not out of respect then for fear. I'd probably invent an enemy, like "insurgents" for those for whom the fear of god isn't enough. I'd even fake a few attacks to give said enemy the illusion of actually being a threat. If I was ever losing popularity in the polls? Bam attack an insurgent stronghold and bring some enemies to justice. I'd probably also really jack up the bullshit on cable news, and include more crap like American Idol that can distract people. No free media would exist.

I'd basically be Bush. Does everyone get that? How Bush want's to be a totalitarian ruler? Clear enough?

Ustwo

Bush would have a higher approval rating (zing!)

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Willravel

He's too stupid to be a real dictator. Invading Iraq was fucking stupid from basically every perspective.

allaboutmusic

I'd be happy with the FHM Top 100.

lotsofmagnets

yes, i think he killed everyone that owned a gun.

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

LoganSnake

It worked, didn't it?

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Borgs

Just make sure you avoid the DEA.

snowy

My primary concern after taking over the world will be the establishment of my personal harem.

Sign up today!

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

flat5

..

Hain

Why? They'd be on the drugs, too. I forgot to mention it would be released into the world secretively and hence forth compulsory. Did I remove freewill in this choice? Yes. Am I removing freewill from there on? I don't think so.

Besides, I would be taking the drug, too. The principle is all right since it is universally applied, including myself.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Personally, I am still waiting for AIS to learn its ABC's. First the alphabet, next the dictionary, and finally the world! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! //cough cough// Ack! //cough//

__________________

////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

Glory's Sun

I'm down with the drug thing.. with the exception of having to be nice to everyone

Hain

How often did you meet a mean pot smoker when he was smoking pot?

Besides, it isn't like you would mind being nice anymore. Muwhahahah! //sucks on inhaler//

__________________

////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

allaboutmusic

A wheezing evil dictator. Like in all the movies.

medlar

Hmmm..As long as I didn't turn my Utopia into a green-wafer eating society of people wired to a mainframe before birth, and later paranoid of Big Brother and who had to be killed off by age thirty..I would just make sure the populace had my banner and stone likeness in every major city.

little_tippler

that list is hilarious

People actually spend long periods of time tweaking their ideas on world domination? How weird.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Halx

You'd like it if I ruled the world. It would be a lot like TFP.

__________________
You have found this post informative.
-The Administrator
[Don't Feed The Animals]

LoganSnake

Ban = execution?

__________________
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

allaboutmusic

I wish they would bring execution back in the UK for yobs who kick innocent people to death for no reason.

Baraka_Guru

Wait a minute.... Even Tilted Sexuality?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Tophat665

If I were going to rule the world, I would definitely do it from the top of the gravity well. Very easy to just drop rocks on people. No need for fancy weapons that way - just a buncnh of orbital crowbars with a tiny little engine and fins on each. Piss of the Evil Overlord get a 3' hunk of steel through the brainpan at terminal velocity.

That said, so long as the tithes are paid and I monopolize space travel, the groundlings would not find my rule onerous. I would not be overtly rapacious - no more so than your local tax collection agency. And if particularly busty women were aggressively recruited for orbital education, well, that could as easily be played as humanitarianism as perversion. I mean, think of the back problems they wouldn't develop in microgravity.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Stiltzkin

All you need to take over the world is a world bank.

__________________
The most important thing in this world is love.

Willravel

HA! Realism!

Now I'm sad.

Baraka_Guru

....not if you have... bank robbers with laser guns!

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

tisonlyi

Nah, then they break out the NEW currency they minted previously just in case someone robbed all the old currency, then use the corporacratic media to educate the masses regarding the planned, immediate changeover which is nothing to worry about... The old currency was problematic anyway... This version has no heroes of knowledge, enlightenment, history or freedom adorning the bills.

Back to bed everyone...

__________________
"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place." - Winston Churchill, 1937 --{ORLY?}--

mixedmedia

I'm not much into the domination thing...I'm more of a bottom.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Tophat665

Aren't you forgetting that you also need the backing of the world wide Jewish Conspiracy?

(Yeah, that whole 6 million dead thing was allowed to happen so they could take over the world. The medieval purges? Protective coloration. The whole Babylonian exile? Lulling the world into a false sense of security. I have this all on good authority from David Duke and Reverend Wright, so it must be true.)

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.