suviko

...while most of the people who are pro spanking don't understand the point of the law at all. The idea is not to make a swat something you will go jail for. The thing people are fighting for is a way to prevent domestic violence in more exteme cases. It's just not so easy to differentiate between a swat and a beating if you can't see inside walls of a house and go between family memebers in neccessary.

Destrox

And if that is the case, then this entire threads topic, and generalized use of "Spanking" shouldnt be said.

Abuse and spanking shouldnt be used in the same context.

The way the first post was made was saying spanking in general to stop a child from doing somthing wrong, not spanking as a muse to actually beat the tar out of a child.

Fallon

I think that the spanking also relies on the style of parenting you use. If you just scream and yell at them all the time, and smack them all the time also, the kids won't listen. If you use punishment, such as sending to their room/can't use a toy or something along those lines, along with spanking sparingly, then they'll respect you. I think that with my mother, she cared enough about me that when she had to spank me, I got the point of what I did was wrong.

For some people, spanking works, for others it doesn't. There isn't a universal system on how to raise a child, because each of them has their own attitudes. I can say that I'm totally different then my brother and sister who used to get spanked all the time, but I was raised in pretty much the same environment.

miked10270

Hi Bartgroks

"Stating that another class of persons is unable to learn without beatings and subject to force at the discretion of another class of beings is to treat the former class of beings as sub-human"

NO! The issue is one of their ability to understand. Children under the age of 6 - 7 years largely cannot comprehend reasoning in the same way as an adult can. Also, the deterrent effect of being willing to smack is disproportionate to the frequency it needs to be used. As I said earlier, my kids know that I will smack them as a last resort. They have also quickly learned the warning signals that a smack or other physical intervention (such as them being physically taken to their room and shut in there) is imminent. They should do, I've made the signals as plain as I can. The result of this is that in 99.99+% of cases where they do misbehave I can stop their unacceptable behaviour BEFORE physical intervention becomes necessary.

AS I said, it's a deterrent, but unfortunately it is a double edged sword in that if the warnings are unheeded, then physical intervention must be used, otherwise the threat becomes empty. It's really all about consistency, communication with the child, and the parent staying in control both of their emotions and the situation throughout.

Mike.

Derwood

As the father of a 4 month old girl, I understand how frustrating it can be when a child is screaming uncontrollably and you don't know why. Coupled with fatigue or other stress, it can be very easy to just want to shut the kid up. I of course would never hit my daughter...I just put her down and walk it off until I'm calm enough to deal with her again.

The point is that in the heat of the moment, I think it is very hard to separate "discipline" with "anger release". You may not think that you are hitting that hard (or block it out quickly when you do), but when you are truly at the end of your rope, it's easy to go too far.

When I grew up and went on to college I asked my mom, "Why send us to our rooms? We have all of our toys and stuff there, so that's not much punishment." She replied, "Sending you to your room wasn't as much a punishment for you as it was a way for me to cool off. Remember, when you have your own kids and get in a situation where you might lose control of your temper, send them to their rooms so you don't do something you'll regret."

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bartgroks

Rat-I believe you asked a qeustion.

I do not want my child to speed, drive recklessly, misbehave or pick fights whether there is a cop around or not. I also want him comfortable enough to report police misconduct. I am not afraid of the police nor should any good and honest man be.

Fearing authority early on can be a hard habit to break. A habit I refuse to instill in my offspring.

If you can't reason with your children that is your fault. They are kids, what your excuse?

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komodo

People that are against spanking are quick to make children out to be miniature adults. People that are for spanking are quick to make children out to be nothing more than household pets.

Spanking is a viable punishment, but it should only be used as a "final solution" when a child is totally out of control. If you spank a child a lot, they'll just start to believe it's part of the daily routine and won't associate it with what they did wrong.

Not to mention that if you teach a child that they "have the right to do as they are told" you are only teaching them to become a drone. It's easy, it's convienent, and it makes them much easier to manage, but I for one am glad that my parents never told me that (even though I was spanked once or twice). Breaking out of the "drone" mindset once you reach adulthood can be a violent and chaotic procedure. Why else would some children who are so well behaved through their teenage years then die of alcohol poisoning their freshman year of college? Or drive drunk and hit people? Or suddenly lose the scholarships they worked so hard for?

edit: by "a lot" I mean something that is used on any sort of a regular basis. As in, more than a half dozen times per childhood.

Meridae'n

Here we go again, the same thing... "I got spanked when young, and i turned out good". I'm sure that has more to do with the quality of the parents, and their ability to set boundaries and make their kids feel loved. I bet all these decent people would've turned out just as good if their parents used alternative forms of punishment.

I know i myself dismissed physical punishment as it only hurt for a minute at the most... whereas i used to dread getting grounded.

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magic_hat

spanking as a lesson is pad, but for fooling around...it can be ok.