Keeping your options open? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Cynthetiq · 02-27-2008, 01:10 PM

Quote:

February 26, 2008
Findings
The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors
By JOHN TIERNEY

The next time you’re juggling options — which friend to see, which house to buy, which career to pursue — try asking yourself this question: What would Xiang Yu do?

Xiang Yu was a Chinese general in the third century B.C. who took his troops across the Yangtze River into enemy territory and performed an experiment in decision making. He crushed his troops’ cooking pots and burned their ships.

He explained this was to focus them on moving forward — a motivational speech that was not appreciated by many of the soldiers watching their retreat option go up in flames. But General Xiang Yu would be vindicated, both on the battlefield and in the annals of social science research.

He is one of the role models in Dan Ariely’s new book, “Predictably Irrational,” an entertaining look at human foibles like the penchant for keeping too many options open. General Xiang Yu was a rare exception to the norm, a warrior who conquered by being unpredictably rational.

Most people can’t make such a painful choice, not even the students at a bastion of rationality like the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where Dr. Ariely is a professor of behavioral economics. In a series of experiments, hundreds of students could not bear to let their options vanish, even though it was obviously a dumb strategy (and they weren’t even asked to burn anything).

The experiments involved a game that eliminated the excuses we usually have for refusing to let go. In the real world, we can always tell ourselves that it’s good to keep options open.

You don’t even know how a camera’s burst-mode flash works, but you persuade yourself to pay for the extra feature just in case. You no longer have anything in common with someone who keeps calling you, but you hate to just zap the relationship.

Your child is exhausted from after-school soccer, ballet and Chinese lessons, but you won’t let her drop the piano lessons. They could come in handy! And who knows? Maybe they will.

In the M.I.T. experiments, the students should have known better. They played a computer game that paid real cash to look for money behind three doors on the screen. (You can play it yourself, without pay, at tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com.) After they opened a door by clicking on it, each subsequent click earned a little money, with the sum varying each time.

As each player went through the 100 allotted clicks, he could switch rooms to search for higher payoffs, but each switch used up a click to open the new door. The best strategy was to quickly check out the three rooms and settle in the one with the highest rewards.

Even after students got the hang of the game by practicing it, they were flummoxed when a new visual feature was introduced. If they stayed out of any room, its door would start shrinking and eventually disappear.

They should have ignored those disappearing doors, but the students couldn’t. They wasted so many clicks rushing back to reopen doors that their earnings dropped 15 percent. Even when the penalties for switching grew stiffer — besides losing a click, the players had to pay a cash fee — the students kept losing money by frantically keeping all their doors open.

Why were they so attached to those doors? The players, like the parents of that overscheduled piano student, would probably say they were just trying to keep future options open. But that’s not the real reason, according to Dr. Ariely and his collaborator in the experiments, Jiwoong Shin, an economist who is now at Yale.

They plumbed the players’ motivations by introducing yet another twist. This time, even if a door vanished from the screen, players could make it reappear whenever they wanted. But even when they knew it would not cost anything to make the door reappear, they still kept frantically trying to prevent doors from vanishing.

Apparently they did not care so much about maintaining flexibility in the future. What really motivated them was the desire to avoid the immediate pain of watching a door close.

“Closing a door on an option is experienced as a loss, and people are willing to pay a price to avoid the emotion of loss,” Dr. Ariely says. In the experiment, the price was easy to measure in lost cash. In life, the costs are less obvious — wasted time, missed opportunities. If you are afraid to drop any project at the office, you pay for it at home.

“We may work more hours at our jobs,” Dr. Ariely writes in his book, “without realizing that the childhood of our sons and daughters is slipping away. Sometimes these doors close too slowly for us to see them vanishing.”

Dr. Ariely, one of the most prolific authors in his field, does not pretend that he is above this problem himself. When he was trying to decide between job offers from M.I.T. and Stanford, he recalls, within a week or two it was clear that he and his family would be more or less equally happy in either place. But he dragged out the process for months because he became so obsessed with weighing the options.

“I’m just as workaholic and prone to errors as anyone else,” he says.. “I have way too many projects, and it would probably be better for me and the academic community if I focused my efforts. But every time I have an idea or someone offers me a chance to collaborate, I hate to give it up.”

So what can be done? One answer, Dr. Ariely said, is to develop more social checks on overbooking. He points to marriage as an example: “In marriage, we create a situation where we promise ourselves not to keep options open. We close doors and announce to others we’ve closed doors.”

Or we can just try to do it on our own. Since conducting the door experiments, Dr. Ariely says, he has made a conscious effort to cancel projects and give away his ideas to colleagues. He urges the rest of us to resign from committees, prune holiday card lists, rethink hobbies and remember the lessons of door closers like Xiang Yu.

If the general’s tactics seem too crude, Dr. Ariely recommends another role model, Rhett Butler, for his supreme moment of unpredictable rationality at the end of his marriage. Scarlett, like the rest of us, can’t bear the pain of giving up an option, but Rhett recognizes the marriage’s futility and closes the door with astonishing elan. Frankly, he doesn’t give a damn.

Source: Nytimes
View: The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors

I find this article quite interesting since I'm always trying to keep options for everything open. I find that I was succumbing to bloat by keeping options open. I'd buy things with the extra options, because I needed to have them for that "just in case" and "upgradabilty path." But the past few years, I've actually learned to stop that. I buy what I need for when I need it, especially when it comes to electronics. Things that are to only last a few years, I buy for that time period. If I have to upgrade. I'm trying to also consider if I would even REALLY use something. I don't need all those extra features on my camera, DVD player, or TV. I'm probably not going to use them anyways.

So now, I'm finding better value in cutting things down and shedding or losing options so that I can make definitive decisions and steps forward without extra expense of effort or resources.

What do you do or not do?

snowy · 02-27-2008, 01:36 PM

I read this article yesterday, and played the little game as well. I admit I didn't play the game without knowledge, and deliberately followed their suggestions in playing it, versus trying to keep my options open. To be honest, this isn't something I've given much thought. I have a hard time making decisions in general, and knowing that about myself, I actually attempt to give myself fewer choices and fewer options in order to make decision-making easier. I feel that I waste too much time on decision-making otherwise, because I hem and haw and want to consider all of the options. I also fear making choices I'll regret, and I suppose that is one reason people wish to keep all of their options open.

Jinn · 02-27-2008, 01:49 PM

I'm definitely a relentless door keeper, it'd bother me to let the doors close.

I think there may be credence to this theory, but it'd be hard for to make such a drastic shift in personality after years of the "don't burn any bridges" method.

Frankly, I've had very good things come from doors that I could've easily let close but didn't, so I have a volume of anecdotal experience telling me that I shouldn't burn any bridges, lest I need them in the future.

I'll have to think on this one...

blahblah454 · 02-27-2008, 02:28 PM

I don't really understand how everyone could keep the doors (in the game) open. I generally find the best way to do something and to hell with the rest. I let go of people all the time, if its a person I really have to "make time for" and its someone who I dont hang out with naturally then I generally just give em up and don't bother even trying to stay in contact with them.

Cynthetiq · 02-27-2008, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blahblah454

I don't really understand how everyone could keep the doors (in the game) open. I generally find the best way to do something and to hell with the rest. I let go of people all the time, if its a person I really have to "make time for" and its someone who I dont hang out with naturally then I generally just give em up and don't bother even trying to stay in contact with them.

I agree with this. Sometimes they do just fall back, but do you actually erase their phone number from your address book? I do purge my address book from time to time of people that I haven't called in over 5 years and have no interest in calling.

I also find that keeping the option open stays with me on things that I could sell but no longer use. So I tend to not sell things to replace other things. I'd rather keep the older one because well, I'd like to option of using it maybe in the future. Also, when I find out that someone else is willing to pay $X for something, it adds more value to it, so I'd even more want to keep it. My solution for this is to just give something away so that I don't worry about the value, and I feel good that I gave something to someone who found it useful.

laconic1 · 02-27-2008, 05:45 PM

Fascinating article. I did not play the game they had, but i am guilty sometimes of expending significant time and resources to keep a door open because it leads to another door that goes nowhere but I cling on in the hope that second door does lead somewhere someday. But then there are times where I let the door close and later on I wish I hadn't. It would be nice if I was better at evaluating these things.

Charlatan · 02-27-2008, 05:54 PM

Options are nice to have but when they start costing me more than I can afford (in time, money resources, whatever) I generally opt out.

I think this is increasingly true as I get older and cease to care about having a lot of options.

blahblah454 · 02-27-2008, 06:07 PM

yea Cynthetiq I remove the numbers from the phone, email address and everything. They just get in the way of the ones I use and take up useless space. Don't even blink when I do it.

PonyPotato · 02-27-2008, 06:13 PM

In my experience, trying hard to keep options open has often resulted in having multiple doors shut in my face because I stretched myself too thin.

I find myself eliminating extraneous options, people, and other taxes on my resources and energy more and more as time goes on. I purge the phonebook on my cell phone at least once a year, I do the same with my email address book. I also do it with my instant messengers, facebook, myspace, etc.

I tend to make decisions and stick to them these days. It's just simpler and a lot less stressful.

Push-Pull · 02-27-2008, 06:47 PM

Heh. I did that very thing when I sold my former business. Once that transaction took place, my ships were burned and there was no turning back.

Nowadays, I do try to keep worthwhile options open, and blow off the little things.

Merlocke · 02-27-2008, 09:09 PM

Decisions Decisions... from a leadership perspective, you're better off making a decision and sticking to it to show that you actually have an opinion, and that you're actually choosing a direction rather than wandering around aimlessly. Irregardless of the rationale that went behind the decision itself, people would more likely follow someone who believed they were sure - rather than someone trying to hold open ALL of the doors.

From a personal networking side, it's not a question of whether or not you are allowing a door to close or not. You just have to keep all of the doors slightly ajar, and failing that, you just have to remember where the doors are, and which door does what. For in this arena, a door is never closed unless you've completely burned the bridge.

Lastly from a marketing perspective, you will ALWAYS make more sales with more than a single choice, as now your clients see some sort of selection, but there is a barrier that once you cross over into TOO MANY choices, people will simply stop purchasing things because they now need time to think about it more, and with too many decisions and distractions in life already - if it slips their mind, you've lost the opportunity.

I think I'm working way too much these days...

SecretMethod70 · 02-28-2008, 12:37 PM

I'm definitely someone who keeps too many options open. I still have people on my IM list from 9 years ago. A number of them are people I've never even talked to over IM. They're just...there. A few months back, I went through most of those people and created a different group for them, where it's always minimized, so they don't get in the way much anymore.

That's really just one example, and there are plenty others. I got an advance reader's copy of Predictably Irrational; I'll have to give it a read sometime soon.

Cynthetiq · 07-08-2008, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by from OP

...obsessed with weighing the options.

I spent the better part of trying to find the right deal with companies recently and that caused me to have to compress the timeframe of completing the deal. This also caused some mistakes to happen that I'm glad I was able to avert, but still it made me think of how much easier it was once I committed to a direction and worked towards completion instead of weighing option after option after option in scenario after scenario.

Willravel · 07-08-2008, 01:04 PM

I can't stand being backed into a corner, so I do tend to leave myself a lot of options in life. I have contingency careers set up, contingency schools, contingency locations to live. Why? I don't trust the universe to allow for circumstances that are only beneficial to me. To do so would be irrational, in my opinion.

Lindy · 07-08-2008, 06:52 PM

Keeping options open and seeking more options is an absolutely wonderful way to avoid making choices, decisions, and commitments. I do disagree with interpreting failure to cull address books, cell phones, etc as evidence of keeping too many options open. For me, its just easier to leave those things be than to take the actions required.
Lindy

thingstodo · 07-09-2008, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlocke

Decisions Decisions... from a leadership perspective, you're better off making a decision and sticking to it to show that you actually have an opinion, and that you're actually choosing a direction rather than wandering around aimlessly. Irregardless of the rationale that went behind the decision itself, people would more likely follow someone who believed they were sure - rather than someone trying to hold open ALL of the doors.

From a personal networking side, it's not a question of whether or not you are allowing a door to close or not. You just have to keep all of the doors slightly ajar, and failing that, you just have to remember where the doors are, and which door does what. For in this arena, a door is never closed unless you've completely burned the bridge.

Lastly from a marketing perspective, you will ALWAYS make more sales with more than a single choice, as now your clients see some sort of selection, but there is a barrier that once you cross over into TOO MANY choices, people will simply stop purchasing things because they now need time to think about it more, and with too many decisions and distractions in life already - if it slips their mind, you've lost the opportunity.

I think I'm working way too much these days...

Good stuff. I believe there's a tipping point in anything. In either direction.

I like that old adage about if you haven't used it in 6 months, toss it (other than clothes!). I try to simplify these days. Old phone numbers not used in some time, old files, favorites links - you name it. If I don't use it I don't need the clutter. It just takes away from the focus I need.

As a manager and a leader I have to be aware of what is in my job description vs. my staff's. If it's their job I should be honored to let THEM do it. If they care they'll want me to keep my nose out. In fact, I can't hire folks with a different attitude.

Baraka_Guru · 07-09-2008, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel

[...]contingency locations to live.

Canada, right?

* * * * *

I'm currently working on a book about some of the most successful money managers in Canada. The one thematic thread that seems to exist within each of them is that they know they have to be both flexible and humble. They say be humble, because the market will make you otherwise. They're flexible because they know that past performance does not dictate future performance. The market could do anything. I think this is a valuable lesson even beyond investing. It works in life. You should always be prepared to make astounding changes that make sense.

The other thing these guys talk about is the irrationality of the majority of investors who sell off their winners and hang onto their losers. We do this in life too, don't we? We should know when to let go of things and move onto something else. We need to use common sense, and to think about things before reacting. These investors apply a very complex decision-making apparatus to their work, so when things do go bad, they know exactly what they have to do. The options were always on the table. They were always in their minds. Although they manage $millions, if not $billions, they can actually sleep at night because of their ability to always keep options open while there are doors closing on them all the time.

Money aside, I wish I could be more like them.

jewels · 07-09-2008, 03:53 AM

I used to keep multiple options open. As several others have stated, it spreads you too thin and adds more stress to the plate. Think of it in terms of a relationship. If you're in love, why would you keep someone on the back burner -- just in case?

Not good.

Make a commitment, stick with it. Builds self-respect.

That's not to say I don't always have a Plan B.

percy · 07-09-2008, 08:03 AM

I am a firm believer in where one door closes, another one opens.

I guess I get it from my dad who is the worlds fastest decision maker. I don't dwell. And I don't worry about the option I didn't choose over something else because then that would be,...well fantasy.

Willravel · 07-09-2008, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

Canada, right?

FUCK yeah. Along with a lot of other places that make California look like Texas.

dlish · 07-09-2008, 10:09 AM

ive always got every option open.

maybe thats why i procrastinate so much..but at the end of the day everyhing gets done and i wonder why i procrastinated so much when i should have just done the deed.

its interesting to read about that chinese general. for what its worth i recall two times when something like this happened...

The moors of Spain at the time when they conquered Andalusia came on a ship. their general ( i think it was Tariq Bin Ziad) burnt their ship and told them that their was no turning back. It was also a defining moment, and they went on to conquer Spain.

the other example in islamic history where this has occured, where Libyan resistance fighters fighting Mussolini would strap their legs together out in the middle of the desert when ambushing the Italian tanks. it stopped them from running away and it was do or die. It was during the time of Omar Mukhtar in the 1930s and was made into a movie starring Anthony Quinn called the Lion of the Desert.

heres an excerpt from wiki

Quote:

[edit] Plot
The year is 1929 and Italian dictator Benito Mussolini (Rod Steiger) is still faced with the 20-year long war waged by patriots in Libya to combat Italian colonization and the establishment of 'The Fourth Shore' - the rebirth of a Roman Empire in Africa. Mussolini appoints General Rodolfo Graziani (Oliver Reed) as his sixth governor to Libya, confident that the eminently accredited soldier can crush the rebellion and restore the dissipated glories of Imperial Rome.

Inspirational in the resistance towards the oppressors is the leadership of one man - Omar Mukhtar (Anthony Quinn). A teacher by profession, guerilla by obligation, Mukhtar has committed himself to a war that cannot be won in his own lifetime. Arrogant imperialist and ideological visionary - the conflict is between two implacable enemies. Graziani controls North Africa with the might of the Italian Army. Tanks and airplanes are used in the desert for the first time. Despite their bravery, the Libyan Arabs and Berbers suffered heavy losses, their primitive weaponry no match for mechanised warfare; despite all this, they continued the fight, and managed to keep the Italians from achieving complete victory for twenty years.

Although Omar Mukhtar and his fellow warriors used primitive weaponry, General Rodolfo Graziani admitted and witnessed the greatness and skill of Omar in waging guerilla warfare. Furthermore, in one of the scenes Omar showed the real man inside when he refused to kill a young officer who is weaponless and instead gave him Italy's flag to return with. Omar assured that according to Islam they do not kill captured soldiers and only fight for their homeland, to fight only out of necessity/obligation, and that they are taught to hate war itself.

dont mean to make this a political discussion. just thought it was relevant seeing the actions of the chinese general and wonder if they took from him his ideas.

02-27-2008, 01:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I read this article yesterday, and played the little game as well. I admit I didn't play the game without knowledge, and deliberately followed their suggestions in playing it, versus trying to keep my options open. To be honest, this isn't something I've given much thought. I have a hard time making decisions in general, and knowing that about myself, I actually attempt to give myself fewer choices and fewer options in order to make decision-making easier. I feel that I waste too much time on decision-making otherwise, because I hem and haw and want to consider all of the options. I also fear making choices I'll regret, and I suppose that is one reason people wish to keep all of their options open. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

02-27-2008, 01:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	I'm definitely a relentless door keeper, it'd bother me to let the doors close. I think there may be credence to this theory, but it'd be hard for to make such a drastic shift in personality after years of the "don't burn any bridges" method. Frankly, I've had very good things come from doors that I could've easily let close but didn't, so I have a volume of anecdotal experience telling me that I shouldn't burn any bridges, lest I need them in the future. I'll have to think on this one... __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

02-27-2008, 02:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	I don't really understand how everyone could keep the doors (in the game) open. I generally find the best way to do something and to hell with the rest. I let go of people all the time, if its a person I really have to "make time for" and its someone who I dont hang out with naturally then I generally just give em up and don't bother even trying to stay in contact with them. Last edited by blahblah454; 02-27-2008 at 02:29 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

02-27-2008, 05:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Options are nice to have but when they start costing me more than I can afford (in time, money resources, whatever) I generally opt out. I think this is increasingly true as I get older and cease to care about having a lot of options. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

02-27-2008, 06:13 PM	#9 (permalink)
PonyPotato Soaring Location: Ohio!	In my experience, trying hard to keep options open has often resulted in having multiple doors shut in my face because I stretched myself too thin. I find myself eliminating extraneous options, people, and other taxes on my resources and energy more and more as time goes on. I purge the phonebook on my cell phone at least once a year, I do the same with my email address book. I also do it with my instant messengers, facebook, myspace, etc. I tend to make decisions and stick to them these days. It's just simpler and a lot less stressful. __________________ "Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." — Henri-Frédéric Amiel

02-27-2008, 05:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
laconic1 Junkie	Fascinating article. I did not play the game they had, but i am guilty sometimes of expending significant time and resources to keep a door open because it leads to another door that goes nowhere but I cling on in the hope that second door does lead somewhere someday. But then there are times where I let the door close and later on I wish I hadn't. It would be nice if I was better at evaluating these things.

02-27-2008, 06:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	yea Cynthetiq I remove the numbers from the phone, email address and everything. They just get in the way of the ones I use and take up useless space. Don't even blink when I do it.

02-27-2008, 06:47 PM	#10 (permalink)
Push-Pull I'll ask when I'm ready.... Location: Firmly in the middle....	Heh. I did that very thing when I sold my former business. Once that transaction took place, my ships were burned and there was no turning back. Nowadays, I do try to keep worthwhile options open, and blow off the little things. __________________ "No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me- "Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown- DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

02-27-2008, 09:09 PM	#11 (permalink)
Merlocke Location: Canada	Decisions Decisions... from a leadership perspective, you're better off making a decision and sticking to it to show that you actually have an opinion, and that you're actually choosing a direction rather than wandering around aimlessly. Irregardless of the rationale that went behind the decision itself, people would more likely follow someone who believed they were sure - rather than someone trying to hold open ALL of the doors. From a personal networking side, it's not a question of whether or not you are allowing a door to close or not. You just have to keep all of the doors slightly ajar, and failing that, you just have to remember where the doors are, and which door does what. For in this arena, a door is never closed unless you've completely burned the bridge. Lastly from a marketing perspective, you will ALWAYS make more sales with more than a single choice, as now your clients see some sort of selection, but there is a barrier that once you cross over into TOO MANY choices, people will simply stop purchasing things because they now need time to think about it more, and with too many decisions and distractions in life already - if it slips their mind, you've lost the opportunity. I think I'm working way too much these days... __________________ -=[ Merlocke ]=-

02-28-2008, 12:37 PM	#12 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	I'm definitely someone who keeps too many options open. I still have people on my IM list from 9 years ago. A number of them are people I've never even talked to over IM. They're just...there. A few months back, I went through most of those people and created a different group for them, where it's always minimized, so they don't get in the way much anymore. That's really just one example, and there are plenty others. I got an advance reader's copy of Predictably Irrational; I'll have to give it a read sometime soon. __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

07-08-2008, 01:04 PM	#14 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I can't stand being backed into a corner, so I do tend to leave myself a lot of options in life. I have contingency careers set up, contingency schools, contingency locations to live. Why? I don't trust the universe to allow for circumstances that are only beneficial to me. To do so would be irrational, in my opinion.

07-08-2008, 06:52 PM	#15 (permalink)
Lindy Junkie	Keeping options open and seeking more options is an absolutely wonderful way to avoid making choices, decisions, and commitments. I do disagree with interpreting failure to cull address books, cell phones, etc as evidence of keeping too many options open. For me, its just easier to leave those things be than to take the actions required. Lindy

07-09-2008, 03:53 AM	#18 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	I used to keep multiple options open. As several others have stated, it spreads you too thin and adds more stress to the plate. Think of it in terms of a relationship. If you're in love, why would you keep someone on the back burner -- just in case? Not good. Make a commitment, stick with it. Builds self-respect. That's not to say I don't always have a Plan B. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

07-09-2008, 08:03 AM	#19 (permalink)
percy Addict	I am a firm believer in where one door closes, another one opens. I guess I get it from my dad who is the worlds fastest decision maker. I don't dwell. And I don't worry about the option I didn't choose over something else because then that would be,...well fantasy.