SaltPork

I have super fast reaction times in situations where it is often unwarranted. I can be across the room in an instant at the slightest sound of unnatural movement by my kids, only to find nothing out of the ordinary when i got there...but i was there fast...just in case.

Though there have been times where my ninja reflexes have come in handy, like the time i caught a full gallon of milk as it fell out of the fridge. That resulted in a dislocated thumb, but i had saved my family from certain doom from having to clean up a gallon of milk.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

Fremen

I have the ability to buy a loaf of bread and have it go moldy on me, pdq.

My buddy has the uncanny ability to have his car batteries go bad back to back to back.

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Google

healer

I have the ability to make traffic lights turn red the moment my car enters their line of vision. This power seems to be more effective when I'm at my most impatient or late.

I also possess the ability to find the broken ATM - this only works when I actually need money.

Oh, and I can make street lights go out by just driving past them.

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abaya

What? Beat the bog? Am I missing something here??

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

The_Jazz

At work:

With no outside stimulus whatsoever, I can inflate my ego to galactic proportions.

I can make everyone in the room think that all the good things that happened were the result of all my hard work when I didn't lift a finger.

I can magically attract new revenue streams that no one else even thought existsed.

At home:

I can play the purple blanket game with Max. No one else can. Granted, I don't understand it, but apparently I play it better than anyone else.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Jetée

I am topical beyond comprehension.

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

ring

That sounds like my friend Pace.

I am behind and ahead of the time spent on reaction,
split before the art of anticipation.

snowy

I have the ability to make ungodly amounts of money relative to my level in the game World of Warcraft.

I haven't even hit 60 and I have almost enough money for my flying mount, which I can't get until 70.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

blahblah454

I have supersonic hearing. Those bloody things on the roof that squeal at a pitch that humans are not supposed to hear, yea, I can hear them. The sounds of chains clanking together makes me cover my ears and run due to the pain. The sound of a crinkling plastic shopping bag (not all of them, just the ones that are not stretchy, the really crappy shopping bags) hurts my ears so bad I cant wait for it to stop.

On the plus side I can always hear someone coming, I can be in the basement and hear if someones phone in the upstairs received a message, I can hear anyone in the house saying pretty much anything if I concentrate or if they are talking about me.

It is a curse as much as it is a blessing.

I can also tell time fairly accurately using no time telling devices.

ring

We are not so alone as we thought.. eh?
How about flourescent lights.

A true super power would have the ability to incapacitate them.

I will ask santa.

Redlemon

Can you hear televisions change scenes? 'Cause I can. Some music videos, where there are lots of rapid bright/dark changes, are unbearable to my ears.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Sweetpea

I can make really bad jokes... and amazingly... sometimes ppl even laugh.

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Having a Pet Will Change Your Life!
Looking for a great pet?! Click Here!
"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

MSD

It does count
Heh, join the club. I was tested and can hear up to 22232hz

DaveOrion

I have the amazing ability to go from completely flaccid to fully erect & ejaculate in 10 seconds........women just love that, Not.

Actually I saw that in the movie "Kinsey", pretty amazing though.....

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Syriana...have you ever tried liquid MDMA?....Liquid MDMA? No....Arash, when you wanna do this?.....After prayer...

abaya

Well, what the heck are bumpers for, eh? I'm not talking about smacking into them and causing paint damage, c'mon. I mean a little kiss, at like 1 inch per hour... and when I'm done, there's always ample room for the other person to get out. I've checked bumpers afterwards to see if anything was amiss, and there never is. I'm good, man.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

roachboy

i know that school of parallel parking, abaya.
it's from philly, where parking is a contact sport.
and when i'm driving, i'm a devotee of that style.

o i know, other people say that i could just park further away from the Destination, you wont have to squeeze into a spot 3 inches on either side longer than the car is, you wont have to do that pinball thing back and forth bump bump bump...but there are rules and the main rule is park as close as possible to the Destination.

adhering rigidly to this rule makes you a parking commando.
every day a new adventure.
having adventures is my other superpower.

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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

streak_56

I can close my eyes at the exact moment a person tries to take a photo of me. And I have to forcefully open my eyes to the point that they dry out for a longer than necessary time.

*or*

I lack the ability to notice that there might be a line to be crossed. Someone please help me...

Jetée

Oicha!

I can stupefy you in 90 seconds.

I can never get stuffed and too full to eat one(and then) more food.

I can escape reality.

I can liken the uncanny into something more than coincidence and create a new state akin to premonition.

I can discover treasure most anywhere I seek to find it.

I can transcend existence.

I can make you laugh.

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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.

—Mohandas K. Gandhi

Charlatan

I have the uncanny ability to set up any combination of TV, VCR, Surround Sound, etc. I am the go to man for most of my friends and colleagues when it comes to this.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Daniel_

I can tell when women are menstruating by body language/scent/weird mojo (not sure which - I just KNOW).

A parallel to this is that I can tell when women are pregnant if i spend more than a few minutes with her. I've been known to do this before the woman knew she was pregnant for sure.

I also know what perfume will sit well on a woman, and what will smell like cat piss, based on some unconscious feeling. I've managed in the past to comment "Oh, you should try such and such" only to find it's the only scent that they like. I have no idea how this works.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

hunnychile

You win! WOWOW!

The rest of us aren't worthy!!! (having lived next to San Francisco in Sausalito for years and never able to parallel park in the City.)

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

thespian86

I can always open a book open to the start of a chapter. I can name the chapter out loud and open the book and be there.

Nothing comes out when I sneeze.

I have no knuckles on my pinky and ring fingers on either hand. (I'm hoping something Wolveriney will happen).

I've never lost on proline (a legal sports gambling system in Atlantic Canada. I've probably won over 100 times. I don't play very often though).

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

Sultana

I can and do inadvertently say the MOST sexually-innuendo-laced things without even trying--to me, it's a completely innocent answer/remark. And suddenly everyone around me is howling with laughter or sputtering.

And I laugh along, having no idea why everyone is reacting, until I repeat in my mind 2-3 times what I just said...

Good example:
Was talking with guy friend who was teasing me about how women have to use the facilities so much more often than guys. He was including me in this group (obviously). In exasperation, I respond (rather loudly, of COURSE), "Why you criticize my pee-ness?!?" Conversation stops, while I ponder in my head, "Pee-ness. Pee-ness. That sounds like a word already...OH GEES."

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

lotsofmagnets

1) smoke will always find me. it doesn´t matter how many people are around or what i´m doing, smoke will ALWAYS find me. my friends have commented on this multiple times.

2) i have the ability (probably helps how much i´ve driven) to read EXACTLY what traffic is doing and slice through it like a knife through butter. the boy racer may zoom past me at 3x the speed limit but after the next traffic lights i´ll be 4 cars in front. this has caused a few scenes....

3) i have the power to move you.

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Willravel

I discovered a new one! I have the supernatural ability to find the worst barber shops in the SF Bay Area. Do not, under any circumstances, go to the barber shop on the corner of Minnesota and Bird Ave. Ever.

Baraka_Guru

Post a pic, or we don't believe you.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Willravel

I didn't take a pic of what resulted from the bad haircut, but I am sporting a pseudo-Lance Armstrong, which was my only solution. I'll see if I can post a pic later (my digicam was stolen a few months back).

Hain

I've reordered time. I have an amazing ability that no matter what time I arrive to meet people, they somehow are always taking their lunch break. All I need is a pair of tights and I can fight crime.

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////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

Crack

My superpower is finding threads that I have created in the past!

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=131318

and then killing them

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx