Sperm bank mixup - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

BlackIce · 11-02-2007, 07:54 AM

I frequent many places on the internet, and a friend of mine from one of these places had a sperm bank mixup, heres the jist of it:

I'm a father by the most ****ed up circumstances possible.

As some of you know, I went through chemotherapy for non-hodgkins b-cell lymphoma a couple of years ago.

One of the side effects of chemo is the possibility of making the patient sterile. To combat this, before my treatment started I had to go to a sperm donation clinic and have them save two samples of my seed for possible later use, if I wanted kids. The samples only stay good for ten years, so if I had become sterile, and wanted children of my own genetic material, I would have had to have them by the time I am 25. Which would have been odd. And I could only have two, which is a little sad.

Thankfully, though, I am not sterile. After my chemo I went back for tests and they said the sample I gave them was full of swimmers. Hooray!

So the following week I went to get a document notarized stating that I approved the destruction of my tissue. Pretty simple.

Except for the call I got this morning.

It was the clinic. They told me that a woman had come in and wanted to the identity of the donor she had used to create her now 18-month-old child. That was fine with the clinic, because whatever donor she had used had not opted to remain anonymous.

They keep the DNA record of every man who donates there, just for filing purposes and records. They had my DNA record even though they didn't have my tissue, just because it had never been deleted.

So the clinic told the woman who her donor was, and for assurances, they matched the baby's DNA to that of the donor.

It didn't match.

So they ran a search, and it matched mine.

Apparently there was a clerical or filing error, and my samples were put in the wrong place, or something. I don't really know, because I don't know exactly how that place works, and I only talked to the woman on the phone for about ten minutes. Long enough for her to explain to me most of what I've said here. She told me that I could contact the woman if I like, but that the choice is totally up to me, and that I have absolutely zero responsibility for the baby in the eyes of the law.

I have no idea what to do.

What are his options here? Can he sue the sperm bank for this? I dont even know what to begin to tell him.

Then I wonder is suing even worth it. I mean that bank could probably use the money more than he can, and how do you place value on a mistake like this? He has a child by someone whom he's never even met or anything without his consent...its crazy

The_Jazz · 11-02-2007, 08:22 AM

Can he sue? Sure he can. Can he win? Ony if he shows that he was somehow injured by this.

He's not responsible for the child so he's not going to have to support it. If he choses to, that's his own undertaking. I suppose he could claim some sort of emotional distress and win, but it would be a paltry sum, and in my opinion as simple money grab.

By the way, the clinic/sperm bank won't be paying anything. Their insurance company will.

Journeyman · 11-02-2007, 07:05 PM

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mspermdonor.htm

Quote:

In other cases women have inseminated themselves with sperm from fellatio or from a condom (or so their male acquaintances alleged), then sought child support – and won. That's because the paramount consideration in child support cases is providing the child with support from two parents. Wisely or not, courts traditionally have defined parents as those who contributed the gametes that made the baby. In most cases, courts will overlook the adults' agreements or despicable conduct in the interest of providing for the children.

Establishing parentage on the basis of genetics is a double-edged sword. Genetic parents can be required to pay child support, but they can also get custody and visitation rights, sometimes even if they've agreed they won't be a parent. It gets even more complex when we factor in surrogacy and embryo implantation. For example, in a New York case, Perry-Rogers v. Fasano, Donna Fasano underwent IVF and gave birth to two male infants of two different races. One child was the result of mistaken implantation of an embryo created with genetic materials from another couple, the Rogers. A New York appellate court awarded the Rogers exclusive custody of their genetic child. The Fasanos wanted visitation rights but their request was denied – Donna Fasano had given birth to the child but was not genetically related to him.

Best guess: If the woman goes after him for child support and wins, he could go after the sperm bank to cover for it.

Aside from that, I don't see the problem, but I'd rather enjoy such a situation. All my genetic responsibility splattered into a cup and grown into a human, I'm then free to do whatever dangerous crap I want. Skydiving, bungee jumping, alligator wrestling, etc.

genuinegirly · 11-02-2007, 08:21 PM

Odd mixup. Sounds like it'd be a good idea for the guy to contact the mother of the child with any medical history that seems applicable. She might want to know that her child's genes were taken from someone who had cancer at a young age. It seems like it'd make more sense for HER to sue the sperm bank.

skier · 11-02-2007, 08:22 PM

If i were you, i'd think i lucked out.

In evolutionary terms, you reproduced at no cost to your resources. There's no harm to you, and it's an interesting story to tell.

If you want to invest yourself in your child's upbringing, it sounds like it's up to you.

dlish · 11-03-2007, 06:38 AM

i agree that u could sue, and the sperm banks insurance company would pay and not the sperm bank themselves.

to think that you inseminated someone without having sex with them.. an immaculate conception, since your free from religious sin! especially if your a church goer.

i find it quite ironic.

ngdawg · 11-03-2007, 07:55 AM

The only basis to sue, as I see it, is if he was rendered sterile by chemo, giving him no future options to become a father other than his spouse also going through the services of a sperm bank.
The woman, married or not, assumed all responsibilities attached to her usage of the sperm bank's services, so she can't sue for child support. And her spouse, if there is one, assumed and signed for, all responsibilities as the recognized father under law.
Now, if she distinctly noted that there could be no history of cancer (and that usually is a process of donation-that certain genetic anamolies render a potential donor unsuited), she might have a case against the sperm bank, but that would not be his problem.
I used these services, btw, so I have an inkling of what happens.

Ustwo · 11-03-2007, 08:09 AM

As a father of two I'd be royally pissed.

Prior to being a father and really understanding it, I'd have been less pissed.

bubbaspike · 11-03-2007, 08:15 AM

My advice would be to contact the women and be a part of the kids
life.I personaly would always regret it if I didn't.

ngdawg · 11-03-2007, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbaspike

My advice would be to contact the women and be a part of the kids
life.I personaly would always regret it if I didn't.

As a donor, that's generally frowned upon-donors relinquish all claims to parenthood. Since this was a mix-up, though, the best thing is to seek a lawyer who's got some knowledge in this area.
It should be the sperm bank's place to contact the woman who used their services and explain to her that her anonymous choice was not used.
Women use these services because either their spouse could not produce kids or she's single and wanted kids; either way he should NOT do his own contacting. If there's a dad in the picture, he would do much more harm than good.

11-02-2007, 07:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
BlackIce Upright	Sperm bank mixup I frequent many places on the internet, and a friend of mine from one of these places had a sperm bank mixup, heres the jist of it: I'm a father by the most ***ed up circumstances possible. As some of you know, I went through chemotherapy for non-hodgkins b-cell lymphoma a couple of years ago. One of the side effects of chemo is the possibility of making the patient sterile. To combat this, before my treatment started I had to go to a sperm donation clinic and have them save two samples of my seed for possible later use, if I wanted kids. The samples only stay good for ten years, so if I had become sterile, and wanted children of my own genetic material, I would have had to have them by the time I am 25. Which would have been odd. And I could only have two, which is a little sad. Thankfully, though, I am not sterile. After my chemo I went back for tests and they said the sample I gave them was full of swimmers. Hooray! So the following week I went to get a document notarized stating that I approved the destruction of my tissue. Pretty simple. Except for the call I got this morning. It was the clinic. They told me that a woman had come in and wanted to the identity of the donor she had used to create her now 18-month-old child. That was fine with the clinic, because whatever donor she had used had not opted to remain anonymous. They keep the DNA record of every man who donates there, just for filing purposes and records. They had my DNA record even though they didn't have my tissue, just because it had never been deleted. So the clinic told the woman who her donor was, and for assurances, they matched the baby's DNA to that of the donor. It didn't match. So they ran a search, and it matched mine. Apparently there was a clerical or filing error, and my samples were put in the wrong place, or something. I don't really know, because I don't know exactly how that place works, and I only talked to the woman on the phone for about ten minutes. Long enough for her to explain to me most of what I've said here. She told me that I could contact the woman if I like, but that the choice is totally up to me, and that I have absolutely zero responsibility for the baby in the eyes of the law. I have no idea what to do. What are his options here? Can he sue the sperm bank for this? I dont even know what to begin to tell him. Then I wonder is suing even worth it. I mean that bank could probably use the money more than he can, and how do you place value on a mistake like this? He has a child by someone whom he's never even met or anything without his consent...its crazy Last edited by BlackIce; 11-02-2007 at 08:03 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost*

11-02-2007, 08:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Can he sue? Sure he can. Can he win? Ony if he shows that he was somehow injured by this. He's not responsible for the child so he's not going to have to support it. If he choses to, that's his own undertaking. I suppose he could claim some sort of emotional distress and win, but it would be a paltry sum, and in my opinion as simple money grab. By the way, the clinic/sperm bank won't be paying anything. Their insurance company will. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

11-02-2007, 08:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Odd mixup. Sounds like it'd be a good idea for the guy to contact the mother of the child with any medical history that seems applicable. She might want to know that her child's genes were taken from someone who had cancer at a young age. It seems like it'd make more sense for HER to sue the sperm bank. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

11-02-2007, 08:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
skier Rawr! Location: Edmontania	If i were you, i'd think i lucked out. In evolutionary terms, you reproduced at no cost to your resources. There's no harm to you, and it's an interesting story to tell. If you want to invest yourself in your child's upbringing, it sounds like it's up to you. __________________ "Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

11-03-2007, 06:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	i agree that u could sue, and the sperm banks insurance company would pay and not the sperm bank themselves. to think that you inseminated someone without having sex with them.. an immaculate conception, since your free from religious sin! especially if your a church goer. i find it quite ironic. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

11-03-2007, 07:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	The only basis to sue, as I see it, is if he was rendered sterile by chemo, giving him no future options to become a father other than his spouse also going through the services of a sperm bank. The woman, married or not, assumed all responsibilities attached to her usage of the sperm bank's services, so she can't sue for child support. And her spouse, if there is one, assumed and signed for, all responsibilities as the recognized father under law. Now, if she distinctly noted that there could be no history of cancer (and that usually is a process of donation-that certain genetic anamolies render a potential donor unsuited), she might have a case against the sperm bank, but that would not be his problem. I used these services, btw, so I have an inkling of what happens.

11-03-2007, 08:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	As a father of two I'd be royally pissed. Prior to being a father and really understanding it, I'd have been less pissed. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

11-03-2007, 08:15 AM	#9 (permalink)
bubbaspike Psycho Location: neither here, nor there	My advice would be to contact the women and be a part of the kids life.I personaly would always regret it if I didn't. __________________ Y'all watch this.......