Trying to get money I lent out BACK
 

Hey guys.
I've lent a roomy $500 and just created a written agreement to be paid full in cash come last Friday. It's been postponed to Sunday (today) and then pushed to next Friday. What would be the next step I'd take. Small claims or something? I feel like I'm too nice sometimes and people take advantage of that. She seems capable of paying, but it's a matter of when. I'm gonna lay the shit down and turn the fire up a little. I can easily make her life hell (she's hiding the fact that she borrowed from several peeps-bf, landlord,etc.-and she's making her fucking son keep a secret- it's fucking dysfunctional but I can't say no to someone in need) but I'd like to make valid legal type threats that WILL be followed up on. How would I approach this situation in a tactful way?
Thanks.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

I hope you learned your lesson on loaning large amounts of cash out.

Tell her you're getting information about taking her to small claims court. I'm sure she'll pay up quickly. If she doesn't, follow through on your threats. Be prepared to ruin your relationship with this person, though, as that's what usually happens when you loan someone money and they don't pay you back.

For the future: never lend more than you can afford to lose...

Don't be nice to her... tell her that she owes you xxx and you expect to be paid on YYY. If she doesn't have the whole amount then a percentage every week will be fine. And follow up on it.. Don't make idle threats... If youw ant to take her to small claims court -check what that will involve... Did she sign the written agreement?

ones:
Yea I know I know. Anyone I consider having a real relationship with wouldn't put me in this situation. So I'd simply go as far as calling her an acquaintance. But like I said. I feel I'm too nice for my own good. Honestly though, once you cross that fine line, I can make your life fucking hell.

mal: In the worse case scenario I can afford to lose 500... but that shouldn't be the worse case given my basic written contract and my documentation of all her subsequent excuse notes; more detail below. I haven't made threats yet. But I plan to on the next confrontation. Hence my seeking advice from you guys so that I can don't have baseless, empty threats.


Again, I'm just more frustrated that she's playin me. Initially, she claimed "oh I thought payday was this Friday"... come on. I may be naive, but I'm not stupid. When you put it into that arena, then you bring the fire.

If I were to take the small claims route, do I effectively have an automatic win here? I had her sign a basic written contract which incorporated her/my name, amt loaned on the date, when it will be repayed in full in cash, our sigs w/dates. I also have 2 notes from her with what I deem to be bullshit excuses which effectively conveys the fact that there is NO hard due date but more along the lines of I'll try to get it back to you predicated on me getting a friend of hers to pay her back. Unless I'm missing something, is that sufficient to be a quick easy trial for me?

I'm concerned about this easy win for me, b/c from what I've read I can't appeal. Plus, just cause the judge is well.... a judge, doesn't automatically mean he has his shit straight. Just want to get your opinions that this'll be an easy hands down win with zero potential foreseeable complications. I want to go in fully prepared.

onesnowyowl , maleficant and anyone else reading; just wanna say I appreciate the help.

Hang on to the documentation. You're going to need it.

I think you have a good case, given the documentation you do have, should you choose to go the small claims route.

I hate to reiterate but, it seems you've got a laundry list of reasons as to why anyone with the least amount of sense wouldn't lend money to her and as I'm sure that at least some of these reasons had to be apparent before gave her some of your money - I can't imagine how the person you're the upset with in this situation isn't yourself.

Don't be so easy on yourself - people will always be in the position to "need" something that you have and if you're willing enough to give it away so carelessly then why complain about it now?

I say you press the issue about as far as you can without taking her to court. Is $500 really worth the stress of filing the papers, taking her to court, and presenting your case? In any case, take it as a learning experience.

Beat 'er with a sack of sweet Valencia Oranges. It won't leave a bruise and it'll let 'er know who's boss.

you've seen The Grifters, haven't you?

great movie


as for illdeviant's problem...seems pretty open and shut to me. I'm not sure what sort of fees small claims court charges to file, but I'd expect the whole thing to last only an hour or two, which is a small price to pay to get your $500 back. of course, there's no reason to suspect that she'll even have the moeny on her that day, but at least you'd have a court order that she must repay the loan.

good luck

Court fee is $30.

Manic:
I don't deny that I fucked up. I don't think I'm complaining. Hope it hasn't come off that way. I'm not looking for sympathy. From the outside looking in I'd think that I deserved it. I know I do. Plus I didn't think I was placing blame. If anything, I was pointing out my weaknesses only further implicating myself. Not entirely sure where you get the understanding that I'm not upset with myself.?

I'm merely seeking advice from others who may have had more experience on the matter(in terms of courts and whatnot). Plus, if it gets to the extreme where I have to go to court I simply want to be prepared of anything that would blindside me. I highly doubt it'll come to it, but I also don't want to make idle threats I can't deliver. I'm pushed to the point where I don't give a fuck if I'm dick.

Just to clarify, she just moved in, so I don't know her too well. She's a friend of my current roomies who are legit. Sure it's no excuse, but I didn't go to some random person and drop an assload of cash nor did I know she was fucked and did it anyway out of compassion or some nonsense.

I may come off irked, but you're all telling it like it is and I appreciate that!

ps. I'm gonna check out The Grifters after this blows over... and get me some valencias just in case

Damn, wish I had the balls to ask someone I dont know for 500 bucks

Just remember, just because the courts say she has to pay you, doesnt mean that you'll get it any sooner.

I know it GA they will put a lien against the property of a loser if they have any and they cant sell or refi until its paid (that happened to my ex husband) but I dont know what they do if they dont own anything

Again. To stress. I honestly don't think it'll come to court. I just have to be an asshole and that's that. I can make her life fucking hell. I'm merely prepping for the worst case scenario and adding some muscle to my threats. I'll keep you guys posted.

The Grifters... or Family Guy? lol

Hit it on the nose, there analog. I'm a huge fan of both.

I had a best friend for over 20 years. She needed a down payment to start divorce proceedings and, being in the position to do so, I lent her $750 and gave her a payback document to sign, which she did.
It's been 7 years this month and the bitch still owes me $400-this after I took her to court two years ago and she signed another agreement there to pay.


I have new best friends. I don't lend money.

theres not much you can do. i've been fortunate to lend money out to people that respected me and it was money i could lose either way. but i will never lend out money ever again unless it's a death situation. like "i need 100$ to pay for this medication or I die in 1min. help me?"

Ask her to pay back $50 a month or something. I've borrowed lots of money from friends before because I couldn't afford things, and I just paid back slowly, but regually.

That would be my advice. She can't pay back the $500 right now? How about $200? $100? $50? Ask her to make a payment to show her goodwill towards paying you back, and give her a receipt for it.

dimes in a dress sock. work over the legs a few times, make her call you ma'am.

gas, grass or ass... nobody rides for free. there's two on that list she can't afford.

i have nothing else to add.

Um, have you tried asking her what's up? Most people are ashamed of money problems and aren't about to share them with just anyone. You live with her, right? That's closer than her other possible debtors. Talk to her about this and find out more about her situation. Maybe renegotiate terms in a way her other debtors won't, or can't.

Make it easy for her to pay you back. Use your proximity to her for leverage, both in a way that helps and in a way that applies pressure.

baraka- yea pro advice. well thought out. I've actually thought of doing just that earlier, but the mere fact that she's gonna play stupid and say shit like "I forgot my payday is next week"... I mean come on.. I'm really polar, so that'll kick me a 180. I'll what I can do along those lines. Thx for the push.

Personally, I don't lend money *expecting* to see it again. I lend money out, with the understanding that I'll eventually know the character of borrower. If they pay me back, they do so while not being pushed, or asked. Many simply never talk to me again or have VERY little contact, out of a feeling of guilt (or unwarranted fear). Now if they continue to converse with me, never paying it back or mentioning it, then there is a chance I will oneday ask them for something (usually small in comparison) just to see where we stand, and their reaction tells me what I care to know...


I know its not what you wanted to hear, but its my thought process when I lend money to people...

-Will

you could ask her if she knows what a loan shark is, and what happens when a loan shark doesn't get paid on time...

It sounds like you are looking forward to this confrontation. :confused: Is that really healthy?

so any luck?

Hahaha... I just found a new T-shirt slogan.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Banks loan money. My job to a friend is to just be there. With my hands in my pocket.

The very reason why I no longer lend money to people.

make her pay part of your rent until the debt is cleared

also, never lend her money ever again

it's been resolved. She payed on her real payday... this was after I confronted her. Sorry I couldn't get back to you earlier. I've been swamped at work. I get to design a periscope simulator for the navy =P Anyways, thanks for your support. I've learned that there are a lotta cynics out there. I used to think I was one, but clearly not all that straight on that path.

As an additional update, my roomy/landlord is kickin her and her peeps out. More drama has unfolded and naturally this situation didn't add to her credibility. She'll be moving out come Nov. Less drama more space. Works for me^^