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10 Necessary Qualities in a woman
saw the thread in ladies lounge here.
so since us guys can't post there, here we go... and in the same vein Quote:
I guess I'll start with what I got. 1. Relatively "in shape", admittedly shallow in some regards, since I'm highly turned off by obesity, but it ties in to the energy level of the person as well. I'm not talking supermodel thin either, but just not like twice the weight you should be. 2. Energetic "capable" Again sometimes I like to go out for an entire day on foot, be it urban exploration, camping, or whatever. I'm not always active so... 3. Chill, The ability to relax and properly assess when it is a good time to relax. I have had issues with people being extremely neurotic about things that just dont matter when all I wanted to do was relax and have a nice day off together. 4. Intellectual. The ability to hold a conversation about various aspects of the finer points of life, Philosophy, Religion, politics (minimally), Sociology, and the more geek side of life, Technology, gaming, music, art. 5. A genuine love of music. Not the type of person who's content with what tv and radio feeds them, someone who will spend their entire day off (but not every day off) just sometimes looking and listening to people/bands/artists that they've never heard before, has an interest in the industry and how it is modeled. 6. Demanding... strange one huh? well, I find this one to be helpful to me due to my own personal flaw of being content with routine. I need someone to keep me on my toes, to present challenges and goals for me to attain that I may have otherwise overlooked. I look at life like a game, I request the synergy that you would find between a game designer and a player of said game. 7. Driven... kind of the flipside of the previous. If I present a challenge or a goal to a person, something I know they are capable of, I'd like to see that come to life. 8. Sexual, and good at it. Again, maybe shallow of me, I don't care, if you suck in bed, you're gone. I can't be bothered to breath life into someone who lays there like a corpse and expects me to want to repeat that experience with them. Not offended by porn or the topic of sex, perhaps even a little fascinated by it. ;) 9. Independent. Not someone who's going to expect me to work full time to support them because I have my own goals. Attaining those would allow me to live comfortably. 10. and the biggest one, ability to trust. I know I have to earn it, but I am someone that measures himself up to achieving the standard of being trustworthy. I find a wallet that is full of money and isn't mine, I return it, someone tells me something in confidence, I do my best to keep it to myself, if I commit to an exclusive relationship, I wouldn't cheat on that person, period. I hate dealing with a year of sorting out your ghosts in the closet about how xyz did this or that to you, I'm not that person, don't measure me against scum, it's insulting. Likewise, I wan't to be able to trust the person i'm with the smaller things. non smoker law abiding (except for piracy, and traffic, I can handle that) no children no STD's I could probably make a large list but this will suffice for now in the nature of "10" and, balls in your court gents. |
[threadjack]How come there's no forum for men only?[/threadjack]
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Beyond that I will add "born a woman". My own personal requirement and not necessarily reflective of the rest of the gender. |
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Not a bad start, but I would include an interest in cars, the more the better (but not more than me:no: ) and an interest in sports. |
Not shallow, Shauk... physical fitness matters a lot since we (the males) want to mount the healthy ones and have them mother our legions.
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so when are you guys going to post 10? or am I the only one with the attention span? haha wow. come on now. Maybe a mod needs to wipe out the threadjack posts and start this stuff over.
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I have to say The Jazz is onto something. Beyond alive and of age I'm not really sure what to add. 10 necessary things idk:
I guess smart and funny would be the only two requirements. I don't mean book smart or even street smart maybe just confident enough not to be impressed so easily. I hate hearing people tell me I'm smart, to me it implies they're dumb. Funny, only in so far as they can appreciate my sense of humor since about 80% of what I say in a face to face conversation (non work or school related) is probably meant to make someone laugh. I believe I can hold an intelligent conversation. At times, I can even impress in eloquence. However, what I find funny ranges from silly, usually not that funny and sometimes childish to dry British wit(read: sill, usually not that funny and sometimes childish). Really though even those two are probably not necessary. Maybe the funny one is, but I don't see how anyone would want to be with me if they didn't appreciate my sense of humor. |
In no order:
1) Warm 2) Tactile – I like some who likes to be held. 3) Caring – Dislike people who think they are the centre of the universe 4) Smile – Someone who smiles a lot and has a nice smile. 5) Intelligent – Not a member of Mensa but just someone who can hold a good conservation about the things they care about. 6) Non-smoker – I’m not bother about looks, money or any crap like that. But just don’t like the smell and can’t stand to kiss someone who has smoked. 7) Relaxing – Just someone I feel I can relax with, and I don’t feel I have to fill every gap with conversation 8) Independent – Someone who does not mind doing things on their own, and has their own interests and hobbies which I do not have to take part unless I want to. 9) Forgiving – Probably a bit much to ask for, but someone who does not remind me of something I have done wrong x months ago during a argument. 10) Loyalty –Very important. I have never cheated on anyone, and being cheated on is not something I can forgive. |
I'll bite.
1. Intelligence. Big, big, big. I don't expect her to have read all the books I've read or to be knowledgeable on the subjects that I am, but a thirst for knowledge is huge. I also like people who can teach me new things. 2. Sense of humour. Sometimes I'm a goof. If she's not going to be a goof with me, then she at least needs to be able to laugh at me and not be embarrassed. 3. Good looking. Call it shallow if you like, but the bottom line is, I don't date girls for their personality. I'll be friends with girls for their personality, but the ones I date are the ones I'm physically attracted to. 4. Sense of direction. I know where my life is going. I have a 5 year plan. I will not tie myself down to someone who has no direction and is content to serve fries for twenty years. 5. Independent. I have no intention of being anyone's babysitter and I'm not about to attach myself to someone who can't stand on their own. I have my own shit to deal with, I don't need hers on top of it. 6. Musically inclined. A very large portion of my life revolves around music. I am a musician and I have very strong and diverse interests in the music I listen to. This is so much a part of who I am, I cannot imagine having a relationship with someone who doesn't share my passion. She doesn't have to enjoy music to the same degree and certainly doesn't have to prefer the same genres I do, but there has to be some interest. 7. A good cook. I'm not much of a cook and I know it. Therefore, I'd simply call this a point of compatibility. I will happily clean up the kitchen every single night if I've got someone who can cook for me. 8. A quiet soul. I'm a quiet guy, and I lead a quiet life. I don't mind going out once in a while, but there are going to be nights when I just want to curl up with a good book. Therefore, she has to be able to appreciate a quiet night in. 9. Accepting. I've come through a lot to be the person I am today and I am overall quite happy with who I am. I'm not gonna change for anyone but myself and anyone who tries to change me will be shown the door. I am who I am, take it or leave it. 10. Sexual. I've been with a girl who just lay there and figured she'd done her part because she'd let me in her pants. Nuh-uh; sex isn't something you let me do, it's something we do together. If I'm going to be the only participant, I might as well go jerk off. And if that's the case, I don't really need you to begin with. |
Making a list of what makes your ideal woman is really a way to die lonely if you take it seriously.
Look for someone you can have fun with, and the rest will sort itself out. |
this thread really does belong in "nonsense..."
any other votes? |
I don't need ten, I just need one.
Not Crazy. |
I just find it funny that either sex would bother to specify "in a man" or "in a woman" when it could just as easily have been an all-users enterprise to begin with. :)
I'm not saying it was wrong or anything, I'm just saying it's funny. :) |
I've said it before, I'll say it again: Every time I've thought that someone would have to look, act, think, or be a certain way to be attractive, someone would come along and prove me wrong. I mean sure, if I could describe the "perfect woman" I could say I want a redheaded supermodel with a Harvard law degree who likes cars and guns, but life doesn't work that way.
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1) Two x chromosomes. No exceptions. Sorry, fellers.
2) Smart. I want a woman to kick my ass, mentally. 3) Fit. Even if it only means a consistent and honest effort without decent results, I'd like a woman who exercises and treats her body with respect. 4) Likes science fiction. Not just tolerates, but likes scifi. 5) Wants or has kids. No exceptions. If you don't want kids, we're not on the same page. 6) Can stand up for herself. I'll protect a woman with my life, but it's amazing when she can also smile and say "I've got it" and take care of herself if she feels like it. 7) Confidence. I'm cool with meek people, but I'd rather not date one. 8) Must love dogs. I'm not a cat person, I'm a dog person. I'll always have a dog. 9) No mental illnesses. If my SO needs help, I'll help, but I won't be codependent. 10) Love to laugh. Nuff said. |
1.) Not my ex.
2.) Not my ex. 3.) Not my ex. 4.) Not my ex. 5.) Not my ex. 6.) Not my ex. 7.) Not my ex. 8.) Not my ex. 9.) Not my ex. 10.) Not my ex. :D |
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i only have 3
1: female born 2: human 3: willing i can't really be more picky than that |
I dont think its a matter of aiming at nothing, just aiming to find the perfect mate, when nobody is perfect to begin with. If you found 'your' perfect guy and he didn't like cats, would that be a dealbreaker??? Compromise is a part of any relationship, those who wont often end up alone.
btw, I love cats.:) |
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same as: If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. That said, Skogafoss didn't meet any of my original 10. If I was to honsestly create the 10 again I'm sure that she'd still be missing a few qualities. Maybe I don't even need 10. 1. Communication, doesn't expect me to be psychic and communicates her feelings directly to me. No guessing. 2. Can be independent yet dependent. I don't need her to be around, but I want her to be around. Generally I can do other things and she's not involved, I just like knowing she's in the other room. eh... I guess this was always my meter in some way: Quote:
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1. Out of shape 2. Lazy 3. Uptight 4. Vapid 5. Music hating 6. Apathetic 7. Unmotivated 8. Asexual 9. Codependent 10. Untrustworthy Woman/Man then I'll think that maybe making a list isn't so pointless. The only really unique things on the list are personal likes and dislikes which to me seem pretty negotiable. You meet the love of your life, that perfect woman in all ways, but she just doesn't like your type of music or choice of pet its a deal breaker? I'd rather doubt it. My wife hates my musical tastes, doesn't enjoy a lot of what I like to eat, and we have different tastes in a lot of our entertainment, but I'd say we are perfect together. Now if we were talking 'ideal' thats different but we are talking 'necessary'. |
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As for me... (with specific thanks to squeeeb for the first few) in no particular order: (1.) Born a female (2.) Human (3.) Genuine (4.) Sense of humor- specifically, loves MY sense of humor. (5.) Attractive (there are many things that make a woman physically attractive- from eyes to boobs to the curve in her hips. I won't list them because different combinations of qualities make for very attractive women, there are no real absolutes- must at least have a nice ass, though. lol) (6.) Smart (7.) Sexual creature- loves sex. (8.) Can enjoy the "quiet times"... sitting and watching a movie or TV show (I love movies, if you didn't know) (9.) Not high-maintenance... to me, a high-maintenance woman is one who can't even really unwind in the lone presence of their S.O. I've been told many times of women who get dressed up for an evening of just hanging out at home- and not people who are dating, I mean established relationships). Give me a woman who likes sitting around in "jeans and a t-shirt" to be comfortable. (10.) Doesn't mind that when I make lists, I write a lot because I feel like I need the full breadth of my opinion to be represented. ;) |
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"Aim at nothing, and you'll hit [a fat chick] every time." |
crompsin is hitting girls again, sheesh.
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As I was trying to compose my "ten", the Scout Law that I learned in the Boy Scouts crossed my mind. It surprised me that it seems mostly appropriate, but since there are twelve I dropped "obedient" and "reverent" since whatever parts of those qualities mean a lot to me can be embodied in the others:
trustworthy loyal helpful friendly courteous kind drop this one (obedient) cheerful thrifty brave clean drop this one (reverent) |
1. Fun - Absolutely the most important thing. You'll spend one hell of a lot of time with this person. Everything else leads to this.
2. Active - I'm not a couch potato, why would I date one. (see above) 3. Some shared interests. - I'm willing to pick up new things, I expect the same, but some degree of shared interest is necessary. 4. Intelligent - Drop dead gorgeous and stupid as a rock is fun for 1 night. 5. Shared trust - I don't cheat; but I have many female friends, deal with it. I'll do the same. |
So many people are listing "born female".
Is this a secret fear of a lot of guys? Really seems an unlikely situation. |
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But it's still important. lol |
On second thought and since it wasn't defined by the OP, I'm thinking it depends on my intened purposes for this subject woman. If we mean "this is for the rest of our lives, or at least a very long time" kind of relationship then what I said above is probably OK. But for less demanding relationships "sexy" could be all I want. There's a full range between those.
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I think the fact of the matter that there isn't a dudes only place is the sexism inherent in the system, not just a predominance issue.
that being said. [threadjack] WAY EASIER TO DESCRIBE THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS FOR A WOMAN NOT TO HAVE! 1 Obesity. Seriously. I'm not shallow, I just can't understand the lack of self control and motivation to slip that far into the depths of unhealthy-itude. Seriously. 2 Extreme Jealousy. Just trust me god dammit. F'real. 3 Bad Hygiene. I mean, even if they don't shower for weeks, it might be ok. Its just relative to how absolutely horrible they smell and when. 4 Lack of Manners. Only the ones that get in the way of my pet peeves. For example... Extremely loud, greasy, repulsive chewing. Yuck. 5 Mood swings (to the extreme again). God Dammit! you were just happy 5 seconds ago! Why are you crying and hitting me?!!? 6 Feminism. I'm human, you're human, fuck what's under our bathing suits. (literally?) 7 Stupidity. I guarantee it, 90 percent of the abercrombie, american eagle wearin', mind-blowingly hot chicks out there are grade-A Nincompoops. Teen comedies and Girls Gone Wild prove it. 8 Overly Competitive. These girls just have to beat you at everything, but rarely do, and then your sex life with 'em suffers for weeks as a result (Even if you let 'em win, They Know Somehow! Dammit!). And when they do win fair and square, They rub it in your sportsmanship-filled face, and then your sex life with 'em suffers for weeks as a result. 9 Religious. I'm sorry, but, no. 10 Low self image. Trust me beautiful, You're Beautiful! You're Just saying that! (bathroom door slams... crying... phone call to sister (now shes mad at you)) dot dot dot. [no end tag! hahahahah!!!!] |
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Apparently, back in '03, some guy in my unit picked up one and banged he/she/it out... felt the balls on his thigh... but just kept going. (blows chunks into a brown paper bag) Ergh. (leaves bag in thread) |
At first, I always wanted to be surprised. What was surprising and how I reacted was totally up to me. It's OK to have lists as a general "weed-out" criteria, but you're setting yourself up for missing out on those uncharted adventures. The one's you can't even imagine because you have no frame of reference.
For my "weed-out" list, beyond the original ten offered in the OP... I pretty much agree with the basics. But since I'm now over 30, I find that I cannot trust a woman that won't wear jeans (or whatever) or go W/O makeup ... it's part of that whole being able to kick back and be comfortable. Fortunately for me, I married an amazing woman. She's the girl in my avatar. |
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