Halx

Ok, this isn't really a game, its a discussion, but it is based on hypothetical and fantastic situations. The idea is to get everyone to give their opinion of how something would end up if it was done differently. The topic for this round is Parenting:

Situation: Instead of the classic parenting method of protecting your child from sexual situations until they are deemed to be responsible to handle themselves, what if we divulged everything early? At age 11, you're teaching your daughter everything she needs to know about sexual conduct. You educate her on how it will feel, the risks, the pleasures, the social implications, the age laws, menstruation, penises, pregnancy, orgasms, and anything else you can think of. You do so in a matter of fact way, making sure to balance the positive with the negative.

How do you expect your child to react to this information?

I had this discussion with my mom. She believes you should "wait until the kid is mature enough to make their own decisions." I was slightly challenged by this comment because it assumed that kids that young don't have the ability to make qualified decisions. My argument against that is that kids aren't given the information needed in the first place to make qualified decisions. If a kid does something foolish, its usually because they lacked education about the matter. If you trust a kid with maturity, I think they will return your investment with good decisions.

Of course my mother has more experience than I do, and I am not saying her concerns are unfounded. I simply think that my ideals reflect on a reality that never existed. BUT IF IT DID EXIST, and kids were not dismissed, ignored and sheltered from important information, could they handle it?

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Willravel

In my humble opinion, it'd differ from case to case. One thing I think you may see an increase in would be sexual activity at a very young age. Even with the very careful inclusion of information about protection and responsible sex practices, they would still be at an age where they aren't mature enough to make the right decision. I think the best corse of action is to talk about nothing but the responsible part of it until they ask. If a kid is old enough to ask a question, it's entirely possible that they're old enough to get an answer. I don't particularly like the level of sheltering other people can use with their children because they can grow up naive, but totally leveling with a 3 year old might be opening a Pandora's box.

Interesting proposition, though.

ShaniFaye

Im not sure how to answer this, because I have always answered Amanda's questions, she started asking things about the age of 5. As she grew older the questions grew more advanced to where a few months ago before her 14th birthday we covered everything you listed. I let her ask the questions and told her to tell me when to stop with the explanations.

I explained what happened when I was raped at 16, I explained what happened the first time I had consensual sex (and what that meant) we talked again about her period (not too much this time since she has been having hers since she was 12 and pretty much knows all about it). We talked about oral sex and all the possible ways to get preggie (and that yes the guy doesnt have to actually ejaculate for it to happen, as that is how I got preggie at 19)

Im lucky that she is homeschooled and isnt subject to the day to day misinformation about sex like I was so there werent the "rumors" I had to dispel.

A funny side note to all of this was when she and Dave and I went to "farm days" a few weeks ago....a donkey she was interacting with got excited and she asked me if thats what Dave looked like lol. She knows what a penis looks like....she has seen babies and toddlers, but she'd never seen a full grown man and was convinced that they were all that big lol

My mother never had the talk with me and it was very important to me to go over things with Amanda BEFORE she is faced with any actual sexual situation so that she can make as an informed decision as possible.

She handled it all very well and thanked me, because a few of her friends have tried talking to their moms and their moms keep telling them that it "isnt time" for that yet.

I say anytime they ask.....its "time"

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ItWasMe

I think you should listen to your mother, lol.

Seriously, I think 11 might be a little young in general, to have everything dumped on their laps. I think it is a good age to start, though, especially for girls who have menstruation coming up shortly. There are kids that might be able to handle all of the information. Every kid is different. It would depend on their maturity level.

Depending on age and maturity level, would probably expect them to either be grossed out, be bored, or to start experimenting earlier than they might have otherwise. And I wouldn't expect them to necessarily be responsible about it. Young ones, even teens, often have this sense of invincibility. They don't always think before they act, and do risky things. I educate my kids about sex and give them rules and curfews. They know it isn't a green light, so to speak. Just like I educate my kids about guns, and then I lock them in a safe. (the guns, not the kids )

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flstf

It would seem to make sense to discuss sex before physical maturity instead of waiting for mental maturity. Better to let them know what is happening to their bodies rather than having to figure it out or getting the information somewhere else.

Plan9

This is a daunting game of "right here, too much" versus "too little, way late"...

I guess accurate info too soon is > than back-of-the-bus TabASlotB rumors.

11? Jesus. Is that the age of information now?

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Shauk

if/when i have a kid, they'll know everything about sex by the time they hit 10.

it wont be treated as taboo, but it will have the importance expressed to it that it is a risky act both emotionally and physically and that they should be very careful.

furthermore, I wouldn't bother lying to them about the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, or santa claus. I lost a lot of respect for my parents when they told me the truth when they figured I was old enough to know (probably 13 or so)

I can't respect people who have me place my faith in them over fairy tales, it pretty much shattered any sort of shred of belief I had for religion too, but that was always a stretch

/tangent

anyways, point is, don't make it into something sacred and momumental/mystical. Just be plain and factual and make sure they have the attention span for an hour long discussion since you'll have to answer a lot of questions possibly.

HamiC

I remember swearing up and down that "MY kid will never have a damn pacifier"...5 days after we brought my son home, I was at Target buying every conceivable shape and size in hopes of finding something that would help sooth my inconsolable son. There were so many other things I thought I would or would not do that went right out the window (and for many good reasons). People say parenthood changes everything...and it does. Each child is different and your positions sometimes change.

My point is that there is quite often a disconnect between the hypothetical and the real. The importance of that distinction becomes amplified when it revolves around the most important thing(s) in your life. I like the idea of an enlightened sensibility when it comes to teaching my children about their sexuality, but I must always balance that against their safety. I hope I know when the "right" time comes, but it is not something I can predict. When it comes to sexuality...something that has now become literally a life and death issue...I plan to move cautiously and hope to get the timing right. When it comes to things that are not nearly so important (i.e. teaching them about death, politics, the imperfection of their parents), I can afford to make mistakes.