RenaissanceII

Apparently, there is a christian website that is promoting arranged marriage...

http://www.marryourdaughter.com/

Now i do know that in some cases that arranged marriages have worked, but they seem too few and far between.

That and paying for it..
yeesh....

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warrrreagl

The Travelers still arrange their kids' marriages, too.

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ziadel

you know, arranging marriages is one thing, certaintly not a positive thing, but i suppose in some religious/cultural contexts its just the way it goes....


but a "bride price"....um... how is this not prostitution?


42k, 90k, 16k, 4k, it's like they're selling used fucking cars.


How in the fucking hell do you offer a 14 year olds hand in marriage to whoever will come up with the dough???

I'm gonna have to contact some officials about this, its that disturbing

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Jinn

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes...urdaughter.asp

Honestly.. tell me that...

...doesnt sound like a joke.

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Infinite_Loser

And... What's wrong with arranged marriages? Arranged more than 'sometimes' work. It's been noted that arranged marriages have substantially lower failure rates than marriages based on 'love'. One could take offense to the price offers but, then again, such are the ways of arranged marriages (Though, I am a bit suspicious of this) >.>

Edit: Guy before me beat me to it.

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ziadel

Like I said, in soime cultural circumstances its ok, like Indians (dots not feathers) from what I understand they love who they marry, not marry who they love.


BUt frankly I am quite relived this is a joke. It saved me the trouble of haveing to firebomb the businesses headquarters.

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Ustwo

From what I gather the divorce rate from arranged marriages are less than that of the general public at large.

I don't care for the idea myself, but its not like people are doing a really good job of getting married on their own. I have to deal with bitter divorce cases with feuding parents on a daily basis these days. As far as I know none of them were arranged.

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Plan9

Where do I sign up?

Maybe round two will go better if I don't have a choice.

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Toaster126

This thread seems to have assumed that arranged marriages or dowries are bad. I don't think that's a good assumption.

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Reese

Dude! 4k! you can't get a realdoll for that price! Then again.. I'd be willing to pay that little extra for the doll..

A testimonial from the site:

“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi![sic] We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"

—Mrs. James P.

LMAO!

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albania

I've never seen arranged marriages as a bad thing. In Albania it still happens, though I don't think there is usually much of a dowry involved. However, as times have changed and demographics have shifted in the country, it's becoming less and less common. Often parents would take a very active role in finding out about the fiance's family, their history, their status etc. Now as most of the population has moved to a couple of urban centers it has become nearly impossible to do that. The tight-nit culture based on word of mouth that allowed for such marriages is fading away.

Baraka_Guru

I wouldn't be surprised if a clear majority were against the idea of arranged marriages, no matter the variables.


We have Disney to thank for that.

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highthief

I know several people of Pakistani descent who are in arranged marriages and who seem quite happy. It would not be my choice, but you know, my first marriage ended in divorce, it took me until the second time around to get it right.

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Grasshopper Green

While perusing MarryOurDaughter, a couple of things struck me. The girls are all pretty and in posed photos, and the descriptions of the girls were too hokey to be real. I'm not surprised that it is listed on Snopes, although it hasn't been definitively listed as a hoax.

As for arranged marriages, if both parties involved are agreeable to it and no one is being forced (Warren Jeffs comes to mind), then I have no problem with it. I certainly wouldn't choose it for myself, but who am I to say someone's traditions/different ideas are wrong.

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Terrell

I do wonder, about those cultures that arranged marriages last, what are a couple's options or social penalties for divorce?

Plan9

Joke here is:

"But-but... Mickey was with Minnie because he liked her!"

...

Hell, arranged marriage is fine in my philosophical book. I don't know about the legal ramifications of it, though. Big can of worms for us Constitutionals.

If we had to pay the gummint $20k for a divorce... middle class marriages would be 100%.

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troit

It's got to be a hoax...

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ShaniFaye

I worked with some Indian girls (not native american but India) that were in arranged marriages, as that is still their culture even if they live in America....they were very happy

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Charlatan

Shani, I am not singling you out I am just curious that you would add this caveat. What is American culture if not that which is made up but those who live there? Just because you move somewhere doesn't mean you suddenly have to give up what you are used to...

America is a nation of immigrants. It is made up of a myriad of cultures, no?

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ShaniFaye

I was just trying to make it clear I was talking about Indian girls that had been raised here...not in India and that even "americanized" girls were happy with it.

As some one born and raised here....no way in hell would I let my daddy pick my husband lol

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ASU2003

It is an interesting thing to think about. I wonder what the US would be like if this happened here more often? Guys would have to work harder for money, instead of trying to impress a girl I would think.

While I can understand why some pairs wouldn't work, I could see how it could work for others. I bet that I could make it work, but as a guy I would still have a choice. Even if my family picked a girl for me and the first time I saw her was on our wedding day, I would trust them.

Maybe the question should be 'how much would you have paid to be with your wife (or your perfect match) if her family put a bride price on her'?

la petite moi

What in the helllll?

uncle phil

it happens...more than you want to know...

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serlindsipity

What happened to factoring in the fact that these girls arent even 18?!? And what kind of punishment is there if they leave their husband/!? can they even do it? they have no knowledge of the world outside of their hubby and what if he's abusive?!? This sounds like a easy target for pediphiles who have the money.

I dont condone arranged marriages, but I admit (call it naive) they do scare me....

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albania

Let’s see on my mother’s side I had 2 uncles and 5 aunts that were all married never divorced. On my father’s side, I have 1 aunt and 6 uncles all married never divorced. In fact I can’t think of a single Albanian relative that has been divorced. There must be some since I have so many relatives but none come to mind. So imagine what getting divorced must feel like in that kind of a culture. Though, as I stated times change and this is indeed changing in Albania at least.


These questions make sense in an American context and in an Albanian context today. However, there was a time not so long ago when they didn’t. Since the site really seems like a joke site I don’t think you should be judging arranged marriages on that. An arranged marriage is not something that’s usually taken lightly in my country. It typically involves months of preparations, countless meetings and a long engagement where the couple gets to know each other, and of course the people who are getting married have final say.

Fire

as the father of a girl, that site scares the hell out of me, and I hope that it is a hoax- if not then its some fucked up shit- as to questions of what I would have payed had there been a bride price on my wife, I would have stolen her- with her help- seriously, I like her family, but they would have no right to dictate her life, and that is why I am against arranged marriages- families fuck up about as often as individuals do, and I feel that a parents right to fuck up their kids lives should only extend till that kid is an adult, not for their whole married lives......

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stevie667

Arranged marriages are still continuing over here within the Asian populations. On the whole they are a very bad thing, and the government is doing alot to try and stop them, which is very good.

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MSD

Even if many are happy with the arrangement, "it's their culture" doesn't make it right. When a child is raised from a young age to accept that she won't have a choice in her future, it's going to take a lot of willpower and courage to overcome it. I still consider myself psychologically harmed from my strict and religious upbringing, and it sometimes takes an overwhelming effort to not just fall back on what I had assumed to be true for around 16 years. If I didn't have people who opened my mind to other ways of thinking, I might very well have continued accepting what I was brainwashed into thinking to this day.

I don't endorse an absolute view of most things, but I have no problem asserting that subverting an individual's free will in order to achieve conformity and keep with tradition when doing otherwise would not cause harm is entirely wrong in all circumstances.

Emotion

I'm pretty sure this site is fake. Check out the testomonials

Sharon

I'm fine with the idea of arranged marriages, it's forced marriages I am against. Most arranged marriage situations that I am aware of give the children a yes / no option. I'd like to believe that most parents would want a good spouse for their offspring, and would make a decision for the long term happiness of their children.

Ustwo

Seriously people, anyone who thinks that site is real needs to get their internet taken away before they give all their bank information out because an email told them their account was compromised.

Has bonzi kitten taught you nothing?

http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/

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sapiens

An Indian colleague of mine who studies human mating told me that in India once a son or daughter has refused multiple arrangements, they are told to find their own partner. Forcing their children to choose their own partner is considered a punishment by both children and parents. Families spend a lot of time searching possible partners for their children, matching them on a variety of characteristics, and communicating with the families of the possible partners. He describes a system in which men and women have a lot of say in their own arranged marriages. (A system very different from the one linked in the OP).

Terrell

In such a society I would really feel bad for the person who doesn't want to get married.

Infinite_Loser

*Ahem*

There's nothing wrong with arranged marriages. In fact, couples in arranged marriages report being happier than their counterparts who wed out of 'love' and have much, much, much lower divorce rates. Maybe arranged marriage's aren't so bad after all...

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Plan9

Now all we need are starved third-world girls to come in a Vend-A-Bride machine.

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ASU2003

There are the eastern european girls that would marry a good guy that was able to give her a better life. It isn't exactly 'arranged', and both parties get a choice, but it isn't as hard as winning the love of a western girl.

http://www.anastasia-international.com/top1000.htm

varrybarry

That's a pretty interesting theory. I'm not sure if I disagree or agree with the whole concept of arranged marriages, because they have their positives and negatives.

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Daemon1313

In case no one has heard, the site was/is fake.

http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/0...our-daughters/

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Grasshopper Green

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20781129...eek/?GT1=10357

Pretty interesting. The owner of the site admits why he started it. Too long to paste though.

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