Who wants to be in my new burlesque set?
 

Your voice, that is. I'm preparing to debut my new "Naughty Hermione" burly set in Hollywood this Thursday, and I really could use a hand.

It's like this: "Hermione" comes out to the light, tinkling sounds of the prologue, in her robe and with her wand. Then, conflict music! She's attacked and loses the duel. There's a pause while she pulls herself together and then surveys the damage. Cut to the frist 10 seconds of Britney Spears "One More Time" as Hermione opens her robe in horror to reveal a slutty Hogwarts schoolgirl uniform (complete with Gryffindor tie). Then cut to Sammy Davis Jr.'s "That Old Black Magic".

Here's where I need your help: For the end, I need a short voice over of the following phrase:

"Children, say hello to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Instructor..."

It must be done in a British accent. Males preferred, but will consider women if done well. Must be sexy (think Alan Rickman or Kathleen Turner). Must be emailed to me (pm me for address) in MP3 format by Wed, Aug. 8.

If selected, you will not get any money. Ever. I barely make money doing this (that's how you know it's art)! :lol: You will however receive my profuse gratitude, the glory of Burlesque, and bragging rights (not insubstantial!).

Thanks all.

Can't do British, but after a few cigs, I can do a mean Kathleen Turner :D
Tec does a good Briddish, but being in Kentucky right now, it might come off sounding more like Michael Waltrip :lol:

I've always been compared to Kathleen, but alas no british lol

I SO hope someone tapes this, I really want to see it

I don't think I do a very good British accent. :o

I'm so wishing I could make it out to see this show.

I hope you find a voice soon!

I would be happy to do the voice over....mines an ok accent

Lemme know

The only way I'm gonna be in one of your shows is if I get to take my clothes off.

Eventually I may need a lonely goatherd for my "Heidi Hoe and Her Fabulous Dancing Goats" set...got lederhosen? :devious:

Please, I'd be most grateful. :suave:

I can do an English accent, if there's not too much text. And I have a good voice-over voice. I narrated a couple student films in college, including one of my own.... The challenge will be recording something clean enough for you to use with the equipment I have at hand. Let me try it and get back to you.

Naughty Hermione! Bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses, I'm sure.

I definitely want to see pictures of your set when you perform it--a video would be even better!

"Naughty Hermione"?

Sultana, you realize you're sending this Catholic boy to hell, fast, don't you?

Yeah, I second that.

Yes. I do. Two sets actually. One real set and one black and red vinyl set.

I can do an Alan Rickman. I'll try to remember when I get home tonight.

I have to admit this excited me a bit...:oogle:

willravel, please do! :D

I still think Allen Rickman sounds like a british Zoidberg, but that's just me. Will do.

I want to hear you do Alan Rickman.....

Okay, I've made about a dozen recordings and I've discovered that my daughter is the only person who thinks I can do a Rickman impression. It's just getting worse, too. I'm starting to sound like I've got gumballs in my mouth, and I can't stop. Yeesh.

Sorry.

I can do a regular brit accent, though.

Hey, *I'll* be the judge of that! :D

Bring it!

Hell, I'll do it.

Sad to say that, after living in the UK for a year, I learned more of a Billy Bragg accent than a Rickman.

Don't forget to send your voice overs to me, I need to email my music to the show producer tonight, so the sooner the better. :)

Sorry, I still sound like Nicholas Cage. (hangs head)

I'm sad, folks--I didn't get one single attempt. So I guess the ending will have to wait until the next time that set is booked.

:(

Oh, shoot, I'm sorry... I didn't see your post about the deadline.

I'll figure out a way to cleanly record my voice within the next day or two so you can be ready for next time.

Only just seen this. :(

Given that I am British, I guess I could have helped.

When I first phoned the office of my wife (after our first date) her workmate told her that "a man with a voice like melted chocolate" rang.

I can do anything from Jammie Oliver style "esturine/cockney", through Kenneth Branagh style "generic middle class" right up to Rupert Everett syle "prince charming/upper-class twit".

If I can find myself a microphone, I'll see what I can do - failing that, PM me your phone number, and get a microphone ready at your end... ;)

"Melted chocolate" sounds wonderful to me. :) Let's do this!

Well, at least you can see the ad for the show if you care to:
Victory Variety Hour

/me looks for microphone...

rofl... and I've done voice over work.... wish the deadline hadn't been before I arrived here. I'm a woman..... but I can do any accent you like.

Melted chocolate... niiiiice... I dont get that... I get "Holy f*ck Chas! Can your gal call me and talk me to sleep every night? Who the hell needs phone sex.."

*evil grin*

Oh well.