at my funeral, i want there to be free sno-cones for everyone, seriously. you can "rent" the sno-cone guy to do free sno-cones for an hour or whatever. i think it would be hilaroius for eveyrone to stand around with bright redand blue lips and tongues...and everyone likes sno-cones....

That's adorable.

I would love a big party with every one of my favorite foods laid out for everyone, and whiskey for all (yay, Jameson), and a big band and dancing and lots of flowers. But no lilies. Sheesh. After that, I want to be cremated and tipped in the ocean, because that will be the only way I won't be terrified of that much water.

Yeah, this is kind of what freaks me out about the whole thing. I mean, short of laying out a step-by-step plan for your own funeral in a strict legal document before your death takes place, I don't see how to ensure that your wishes will be followed to a T. I am sure that parents vs. spouses of dead people argue all the time about the "right" way to bury someone... especially if there was an accident and someone died young. How does that shit get decided, in the end? Especially if the person did not follow any kind of conventional religion (which makes things easier to plan, if they did). Makes me think I ought to call up a lawyer and set this straight while I can!

In any case... I don't know about having a ceremony without a body. I know that when my father died at sea and they never found the body, it was terrible for his whole family and my mother. Funerals are for the living, and I'd like to give my family the closure that they are going to need. To just vanish without a trace... I can't imagine doing that to my mother again, or to my husband. The body is necessary, at least for a day or two.

Weddings and funerals... two of humanity's most celebrated rituals. So I suppose I would want my funeral to be something like our wedding(s). Outdoors, in a pretty place, with some good poetry or excerpts from my favorite books. I want several languages to be spoken, so that everyone can understand something (since I am the only native English speaker in my family). I want music, someone singing a favorite song or two of mine, and maybe an open mic for people to come up and speak if they want. Nothing too formal. Open casket or not... hmm, depends on the way in which I died. But I like the t-shirt and jeans idea, just like the way I usually dress. And yes, I would like some Thai Buddhist monks there, and perhaps an open-minded pastor or priest who won't proselytize. Preferably someone good with interfaith stuff. I wouldn't want it to be a religious funeral, but deeply spiritual, yes. I want people to feel comfortable grieving in whatever way they feel is right. And alcohol for celebrating, DEFINITELY. :)

And the big question: cremation or burial? I haven't decided on that, yet. I lean towards cremation, but there is also something comforting about leaving a body and marker behind, for the living. I don't know yet. If I was to be burned, I'd have my ashes spread over the plot of land where I grew up, and perhaps drizzled over my other favorite places/countries.

I want to be cremated. I want one small part of my ashes to be spread where we spread my grandmother's ashes in Westport, WA, one small part to be spread with my grandfather in the Pilchuck River, in WA, and one part to be dispensed of at Hug Point, OR. I might also want one small part left with my grandfather's memorial in Tumwater, WA.

For the funeral, I want people to rent a giant beach house and just throw a huge kegger/bbq. No sedate memorial for me. I want people to have fun, and remember how much fun they had while I was still around. I also want them to remember how much I loved the water and the beach. I would like my mother's BBQ ribs and a giant pot of clam chowder to be served, with cheeseburgers and toast. An odd menu--but all of my favorite foods. And there had better be Coca-Cola. Lots of Coca-Cola.

This actually came up at the bar last week, before that I hadn't really thought about it too much.

I don't care what happens with my body. Donate whatever I haven't abused too much to science, and give me a small reception, nothing expensive at all. I'm dead, I don't need money spent on me.

The only thing I really want done is I want "My Way" and "Don't Worry, Be Happy" to be played at some point in that order.

Re: Funeral proceedings preferred
 

Not uncommon to think about it. I have been a lot lately, but mainly because I've been depressed and thinking about traintracks and high bridges, neither of which are pleasant enough for me to keep considering. So I guess I just grin and bear it for the moment.

I at once had a preferred place of burial, Japan, but my obsession has long been over. Thank God! We've all done some weird things in the name of that.

The second closest preferrence was near a certain beach, but the reasons are shallow I assure you (*Pun intended*).

At this point, the place of burial isn't really that important to me. If I die for any reason, I probably will have died without any real connection to any real person, place, or thing. If this changes, it'll happen a long time from now.

I also believed in a resurrection, but also that I wouldn't come back looking the same. So, I once wanted to be cremated, and requested that my family retain the ashes for as long as possible, and dump them out "when the time comes." I still believe in a resurrection, but I'm pretty sure God can bring us back looking the same. Heck, if twins can look the same, God can make us look the same, even without the same DNA.

Then, too, I hate what I look like anyway, and can't believe I once fretted over not being the same after death! I want to come back taller, bluer-eyed, so that maybe I might have a girlfriend one day. Oh, and marriage, too.

Too cute.

I personally would love to see my own funeral, and I hope (but doubt) I'll be able to do that. I would hope as little money is spent on it as possible, because it would be a waste to pay money to dispose of my empty body. Maybe it could be used for something else like research.

I'd rather everyone mourn my passing, be happy for knowing me and think or talk about me sometimes in my absence than be worried about paying for a box for my body to rot in.

I'M NOT GOING TO MINE

We'll all be there.

My body has been donated to science. I had a rare form of cancer so Johns Hopkins intends to dissect me and learn from me. I'm happy about this. Whatever is left over will be cremated and then I really don't care what happens. The funeral will be a party with lots of drinking, pot, and hopefully some sex in the cloakroom too! I just want everyone to have a good time. I'm actually really sorry I'll be missing this party, it sounds like it will be a good one. I'm not religious so I can't imagine there being any sort of formal service.

I just want to be cremated. And I don't want a headstone either. I don't understand the concept of taking up space once you're already gone, I would feel selfish. I actually want a tree planted somewhere where my family can go to remember me if they feel the need (and my ashes along with it). At least a tree is useful, whereas a headstone is not. I want it to be one of those annoying trees too that is always dropping sticky things or buds, so people think, oh that Tenniel tree haha. I'm serious about the cremation and tree thing though. And then everyone could stand around outside, say what they want, play a few songs that I want played, drink beer and BBQ or something. Oh and maybe they could but Christmas lights in the tree, no matter the season, that would be nice. Or maybe they could plant a pine or spruce tree, let it get big and use it for Christmas one year. So many different options really. What a great topic. I wouldn't mind recording something though, just to thank everyone and let them know I love them. Funerals/memorials are really for the ones left behind anyways. I've asked my mum (the person I'm closest with) to write me a letter for incase she dies (before me) telling me it's okay to go on, not sure if I could otherwise. Don't know if anyone would need the same from me at some point in the future. Well I have sufficiently babbled and shall quit now! Oh, but before I am cremated my organs have to be donated if they are useable, and then they can just get rid of the rest through cremation.

Have you got your seedling available? Perhaps if you develop a relationship with it you'll be there. Trees live a long time...