Grasshopper Green

Hubby and I just got back from our yearly trip to Las Vegas. We saw a lot of panhandlers. I rarely give money to panhandlers; I usually don't have cash/change anyway, but for some reason I have a hard time giving my money to someone that I assume is just going to use it to get drunk or high instead of actually eating or using it on a ticket since they are stranded (classic reason for panhandling here), or because they were evicted or whatever. One of the few times I remember giving a panhandler money was when a guy had a sign that said "Need money for beer"...I thought at least he was being honest. What are your thoughts on the matter?

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Formerly Medusa

Willravel

I always give them money. If I don't have cash, I come back with cash. I can't imagine someone who won't give because they assume that someone will spend the money on booze. Just because I live in a million dollar home and drive a car with a turbo doesn't give me the right to pass judgment on people I've never met and who clearly need help.

I found that homeless people are often fascinating people and are in their current condition despite their honest efforts. There's a restaurant around the corner from my work and I often take homeless people to lunch there.

jorgelito

Sometimes I give sometimes I don't. It depends I guess. But once I hand over that money, they can do whatever they want with it. I hold no disillusions of dictating what another does.

Panhandling is an art in some of the major cities although I must say the one's on the east coast tend to be more talented or work harder at it than the lazy bums on the west coast.

I remember the panhandler in Boston who were chess whiz's or would play an instrument very well at the very least. But the one's in LA are just lazy it seems. The one's in Melrose are very aggressive and "demand" money for more tattoos, body piercings and their cell phone bills. I once asked one to at least sing a song or dance a jig and they got all huffy with me.

Oh my favorite is if you offer to buy them a sandwich or a coffee, they get all picky and stuff. I had one throw the sandwich back at me cause it wasn't on wheat bread and had yellow mustard not brown mustard.

*shrug*

aberkok

I never judge what they might or might not do with it, but all the same, I just don't give my money away. I know I wouldn't really miss it, but as the poll says, it's my money, dammit! I used to give a lot away when I first moved to the big city, but I think I just got tired of the small constant drain on my wallet.

Instead I spend that extra couple of dollars on better (more ethical?) food sources. Possibly I am buying into a more sustainable economy with where I choose to pay extra in this department. For a second, let's forget about the animals who benefit when I buy organic. I'm thinking of the labor systems at the farms which are the source of my eggs and meat, etc. I've decided that my money is going to help people who work at these farms.

Mordecai Richler once wrote that he found it cheaper to take a taxi a few blocks that to pay out to all the panhandlers he walked by in Montreal.

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Dennis

I do give money to panhandlers but I do opt for food coupons and the like.

Grasshopper Green

I'm not passing judgment on panhandlers. I've known a lot of panhandlers in my life, both homeless and non homeless. I've worked with people who considered panhandling a second job and used the profits to get high on the weekends. My uncle is a hobo by choice; he is college educated but likes the "homeless" lifestyle. He often panhandles and I don't really know what he does with the money. My brother often panhandled in the last few years of his life, and he was never homeless for more than a week. He spent his money on beer and smokes. Before he became ill, he would take every panhandler with a sign that said "Will work for food" up on the offer...he'd ask them to come to his house and mow his lawn and he'd fix them a nice lunch. He never had a taker, not once.

If a panhandler wants to get drunk, or get a pack of smokes, or get high with his money, that's fine with me. It's not my place to dictate what people can and can't do with their money. However, it is my place to dictate what I do with MY own money and I usually choose not to give it to others that, from experience and the experiences of others close to me, will likely spend it on something that doesn't help their situation.

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Formerly Medusa

spectre

There's always a homeless person on the train or on campus. The one that usually hangs out on campus I don't see that often, but when I do I'll give him a dollar since he's pretty nice and friendly. On the train, I've seen enough crazy ones to either not give anything or some change, but I refuse to take out my wallet.

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pig

it all depends on my current frame of mind and the attitude of the day. i used to give a lot more often than i do now; these days, it really depends on how i'm feeling. i don't put them all into the "get a job you fucker" category nor do i put them all into the "poor disadvantaged soul" category. i treat them as individuals. over the years, i've gotten to know some homeless people pretty well. i used to give money regularly to one i knew, in particular, who was certifiably insane. we had interesting talks, and i believe at base he was a decent guy.

then there was the guy who's wife would drop him off, and he'd make up the same horseshit story about his carbeurator blowing out, and needing $15 bucks to get to danville. i called him out on it once, and he just smiled.

then i knew the girl from the upper middle class hippie family, who did the "homeless" circuit for a while just for kicks. she advocated everyone doing the same. she tried to fuck me in the front yard of her parents' house. i was about 27, she was about 19.

so really, it all depends.

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samcol

I usually do when I'm in a big city like Chicago, Atlanta, Vegas, Indianapolis. I could see how it could get annoying though if you live in one of these cities and get asked several times a day.

I used to feel obligated to give them money until one experience in Kentucky. I think this was based of a bible passage I read that essentially said give money to whomever asks for you will be repaid in heaven. The man asked for money for a coffee and sandwich at a gas station. The Mcdonalds was right next to it so I gave him more than he even asked for. He did a 180 degree turn away from the restaurant and went straight for the the liqour store.

On the otherhand, there was a few times I gave people anywhere from a few bucks to $20 bucks and received more thanks than I could of ever imagined.

Bottomline is I think I have become more willing to give money to people who ask in small towns than big towns where they are more likely to just be professional panhandlers.

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Ourcrazymodern?

No, I usually just tell them to "get a job", or something else as "heartless".
Cultural? Yes. Mean-spirited? Dunno. Wrong? As they are.

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shesus

My view on panhandlers has takena 360 since we've moved to Chicago. When we first moved up here I would always keep change in my pocket. But now, I will rarely give a handout.

I see so many panhandlers, I think I'm immune to them now. I'm pretty jaded when it comes to them. We've been cursed at, spat on, and had things thrown at us. I was told once I was going to hell...I told her I already put a down payment on a condo down there which is why I had no change for her.

If I walk out of a store with some coins, I'll give them away. However, there are too many people wanting handouts and I can't give my money away to all of them. If the person seems cool, I'll be likely to check my pockets. But I never pull out my wallet, that's asking for a mugging.

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Baraka_Guru

First, if you give someone something out of genuine generosity, you shouldn't mind how they spend it. If you tie your own conditional restrictions, you immediately reduce generosity to something more akin to a financial transaction where you expect something specific in return.

Second, why should self-medication be the exclusive privilege of those who can hide it behind clean clothes and shiny cars?

Third, I've always considered carrying a roll of quarters with me everywhere to dispense to all who ask me. I get about five or so requests a day during the work week.

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Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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Sultana

I prefer to support the local kitchens and shelters, and let folks who seem to need it where to find these places. Since I not only support myself but also help my sister and three nephews, I feel like I'm doing "enough". Would go broke giving everyone even small change all the time, and I don't feel particularly motivated to do so.

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samcol

Why shouldn't you mind how they spend it? You gave it to them after all.

If you can afford to self-medicate that's one thing. If you can't even afford to have a place to live or food to eat though I think it a very different situation. If a homeless and starving person isn't spending the money on food BEFORE booze or drugs then your generosity wasn't well spent.

I do expect something in return when giving them money. I expect them to get a decent meal or feed their familiy. If they only use the money for their own selfish drug or alcohol abuse I don't have any respect for them.

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Seaver

Call me an asshole but I never give them money. Don't push this "disadvantaged" stuff on me, because I don't believe it.

You have to make a series of conscious decisions to become homeless. Not only do you actively decide you don't want to work, because I see Now Hiring signs all over the place, but you have to burn every bridge in your life to become homeless. I don't buy everyone was thrown out on the streets by their parents. I don't buy these people were nicest people and simply could not find a friend who was willing to spare a couch for 6 months until they got back on their feet. I don't buy it that these people would spend my money in any way which improves their lives.

They have different priorities, and if those do not involve pulling one's own weight then they can do their thing. I will not, however, encourage said behavior. If a stranger wants to dance around on the freeway, is it generous of us to give them a tutu so they can dance better? Or should we get him out of the dangerous situation? I personally refuse to let my hard-earned money going to allowing them to get drunk/stoned/f-ed up to the same degree which landed them in the situation.

Forgive me, I must not be genuinely generous. I am in full support in giving a man a meal until he has learned how to fish. If, however, he ignores the fishing lessons and walks away he can do whatever he likes, he just won't get anymore meals.

Self medication is available for those with cars because those people with cars have worked, struggled, and improved their lives to afford it (Paris Hilton whores excluded).

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Carno

Fuck no I don't. Get a job ya bums!

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Baraka_Guru

Because I was being generous, not moralistic.

So generosity is meant to be an investment? Is one supposed to get something out of being generous?

I'm fine with what you say here. But homeless people and panhandlers aren't the only ones with selfish drug or alcohol abuse problems.

While I agree with much of what you said following this, you don't seem to deny that there are many people who are homeless because they had to make a decision, such as leave home at 13 or get the shit beat out of you by Dad again.

So it is, then, reserved for the privileged?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Carno

I'd say that most generosity is meant to be an investment. At least, charitable generosity anyways. Would you give money to the Red Cross if you knew that none of your money was going to help needy people? Would you give to the Salvation Army if you knew your money was all going to pay the salary of the CEO? I sure as hell wouldn't.

If I'm giving away my hard earned money, I want to be damned sure about what it is being used for. Otherwise I might as well throw my money into a fire.

Honestly, I really don't understand how someone can just fork over their money mindlessly. Sure, the beggars may be less fortunate than you are, but are you really improving their situation by giving them money so that they can buy booze? Or are you just enabling them to stay beggars? If they can get what they want without doing any real work, why should they bother to do any real work or become a productive member of society? I sure as hell am not going to perpetuate beggary by giving away my loot.

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Manic_Skafe

I always give to musicians and people who preform some soft of talent - I've heard some incredible music, saw some cool magic tricks and even was lucky enough to catch some incredible acrobats while waiting for/riding the train.

For those who beg for money I usually give based upon their enthusiasm. There's no realistic way for me to discern whether or not they really need the money so if they beg with some enthusiasm and what seems like a real need for the money then I might be inclined to spare some change.

But for those who look at my expectingly without even a kind word get nothing but an uninviting gaze.

What about that working-class person with a family to support and the misfortune of developing a debilitating illness. Surely it's their fault that they're all out on the street and that's just the price they have to pay for not pulling their own weight. Right?

I can understand being a bit on the defensive simply because they're hassling you for money that's rightfully yours but you can't possibly be that devoid of empathy.

While they certainly do beg for your money, who's to say they'll refuse a kind word or an endearing look - or maybe even that half-eaten sandwich you didn't finish from lunch. You certainly would still be giving something away for nothing but what if that act of kindness was all it took for them to believe in themselves enough to better their situation?

In all my dealings with the homeless I've learned that most of them just want to be heard and treated like a normal person.

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Carno

What "debilitating illnesses"? Name some.

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Willravel

If you're unfortunate enough to be homeless some day, I'll buy you dinner.

Have you ever met someone with severe schizophrenia? Psychotic people can be completely unable to help themselves and could easily lose family a job, etc. very quickly and end up a 'crazy' person on the street. Considering it has an occurrence of 7.5 and 16.3 cases per year per 100,000 population, it's not so uncommon that it cannot be linked to someone you may see on the street.

MexicanOnABike

"here's 500$. get a hotel room. take a shower, shave, get clean, Buy a suit and get a job. If i see you on the street again, I'm going to kill you."

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Push-Pull

Most times, I don't believe a damn thing these people tell me to try to get my money, so most the time they don't get it. But on occasion, I find reason to help out.

Here's some examples from both sides....

First was the lady with her two kids trying the old "I need gas to get across town" bit on me. I asked her my standard "where's your car at" in an attempt to weed her out, but it was parked in the very parking lot I was standing it. I told her to meet me at the gas station on the corner where I gave the clerk $5 on the pump she was at.

Second was the guy who tried that "ran out of gas and need to get to Texas" bit. "Where's your car?" I asked. "Oh, it's about 4 miles down the road." Hmmmm, really? Why aren't you there asking for handouts instead of here. It was obvious bullshit, and he didn't get a dime from me.

Third was when I went through a drive through and was given a "bonus" in the form of an extra cheeseburger. I had to stop at a quick-mart for gas and there was a homeless guy there asking for money to buy food. I went back to the car and gave him the burger. He gulped it down in no time, so it was obvious he WAS hungry. I gave him another few bucks on top of it.

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Jetée

Heh-heh. Thank you MOAB for so eloquently stating an alternative to just "giving away" your hard-earned money to a beggar on the street. Not very pleased that you were first to state this, because I, too, had this idea in mind.

This idea that MOAB and I would put into action would most definitely solve the problem of perpetuating the problem of beggary, by actually "enabling" said beggar/homeless person to once-again become a productive member of society. If they should somehow, falter, however, or not even try to readjust his/her current deplorable situation and resort back to begging on the streets, then I would curse them for wasting my time, money, and emotional involvement into trying to help them.

Why just stop at buying them dinner? It would make more sense to teach them how to cook a decent dinner and then pay them for cooking it, than to offer them dinner whenever you so happen to feel generous. This is perhaps, another "enabler" for these beggars to stay beggars. Some may just rely on the good-natured aid of their fellow citizens, but then take advantage of the situation. They do this not by making requests, but by continuing "in-action" on their part. And that may be just as bad as not even glancing in their direction in the first place.

It shouldn't be a question of whether you feel like helping out the less advantaged when it suits you, but it is an issue of morality. It would be the right thing to help them, but to offer them food or few bucks is not in all reality helping their situation much. What needs to be done, is yes, perhaps, getting to know them, their situation, and then figure out a reasonable solution that will permanently keep them off the streets. If I need to invest a couple hundred dollars and weeks of my time, I want to be absolutely sure that they do not revert back to their "beggar days".
Cause I will go off!

So if you feel like giving a beggar a few extra dollars, go right ahead. But that would be the quick-and-easy solution for both of you. The lazy solution.
But if you feel like taking charge and actually want this 'disadvantaged soul' to benefit from your money, make sure it is a worthwhile investment that will result in a sense of satisfaction on behalf of the both of you.

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Paq

ya know
i used to think," Oh, they'll get booze or drugs withthe money i give them"

then i looked at their situation..and sadly, sometimes i HOPED they bought booze or drugs bc i know if i were in the situation, almost any escape from reality would be welcomed..

i forgot where i read or saw that, but it made total sense to me. i'm not a huge fan of leftovers if i eat at a restaurant, so i'll give that away most of the time or if they just happen to hit me when i have some change or a buck or whatever. I won't take out my wallet bc that's generally a bad idea in the areas where i find homeless people.

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ItWasMe

I don't often give them money, but I'm not often asked. But I've never turned down anyone who asked for food. Even if it's just snacks that I already have with me. My dad taught me that, and I am teaching my kids that.

I have heard that many homeless/panhandlers prefer that way of life. Although it may be true for some, I believe that it isn't the case for many.

I knew a person who did fundraisers for a well known charity for homeless, but I can't remember the charity name off the top of my head now. He explained once that one big problem with homelessness is that many of them have mental problems and can't hold down a job. That our state mental hospitals used to keep them, but now they won't unless they are a direct threat to themselves or to others. They just evaluate them, then send the non-threatening ones out the door to fend for themselves. The ones who don't have family, or who don't have family who know about their dilemma, end up sleeping on park benches, etc.

There could be more to the story, and it does not apply to all homeless. But this is what he explained.

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SecretMethod70

It depends on 1) whether I'm carrying any change or singles (which I'm often not) and 2) how they ask.

There are a wide variety of ways people ask for money in Chicago. There are some who try to trick you - start out by asking for help with directions, or say they're looking for pledges for some charity walk - and I almost never give them anything. It's not because I think they don't need it, or because I think they'll waste it on drugs or anything like that. I simply don't respect the deceitful way in which they ask.

On the other hand, there are a whole lot of people who are kind, respectful, and honest about it. To those people, I am much more likely to give money. Again, it's not so much that I think I have the right to judge the others, but I can't give to everyone I come across and this is how I filter people out. Furthermore, I'm most likely to give to those who are doing something for the money: performing at the El station, selling Streetwise, etc.

Awhile back, I read an article which I thought made a very important point. Regardless of whether or not you're going to give the person money, it's important to at least acknowledge their presence. Even something as simple as saying, "sorry, not today," goes a long way towards reaffirming the humanity of someone who has been pushed to the margins of society and is ignored by most everyone. Around where I went to school in Chicago, there were a few people who consistently hung out in particular locations, and they tended to be relatively friendly and non-demanding. I can only attribute this to the fact that they were treated as human beings by many of the students who passed them every day, to the point that some of them were known by name and quite popular among many students. Regardless of the money they are given (or not given as the case may be), this kind of human interaction is important in two ways: it not only reaffirms their worth as a human being, but it helps keep those who are more fortunate connected to those who are not doing as well in life.

ItWasMe: Sadly, Illinois suffers from a similar situation.

EDIT: Found the article:

http://www.wired.com/culture/lifesty...urrentPage=all

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Destrox

Being from a small city, that honestly has nearly zero people of this nature. So when I visited Washington DC it came to a shock to me of just how many of these people there are.

The problem is that the ones down there wouldnt just simply ask you for money, they'd follow you and not stop asking.

The point where they pissed me off and scared my gf.

No is my final answer.

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Cynthetiq

I stopped giving money to the homeless. I used to stop and just chat with them sometimes because they tend to be invisible people that society doesn't see anymore including me today.

One of the things that solidified me stopping giving money was after Katrina we were travelling in the Philippines and India. When people heard us speak they knew right away we were Americans. The first thing they asked was, "How come poor people in America are so fat?"

(Edit: stupid touchpad ate the rest of the entry apparently)

On my travel to and from work I can encounter the same homeless people, about 5-8 of them. Some of them I have seen for over 10 years panhandling on the trains.

The other day we were at the Seaport with Aberkok, JustJess, Amonkie, Tecoyah, and some person called himself the deacon asked us to sign a petition, and asked for money for the children. I don't know how much was giving, I tossed in some quarters but didn't sign anything. Later when after I dropped them off at the train and I walked back to the bus, several under cover cops were tailing the "reverend" and arrested him.

Again, like shesus, very jaded to the plight of the homeless in NYC.

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tecoyah

On special occasions, I will. We just had the NYC get together, and I will always take quarters to NYC with me for the street Musicians.

StevieV

I actually WAS homeless for about six months, and I was one of those kids who (at 17) was booted out, so yeah, I know those situations exist.

I cleaned up at a gas station and slept in a abandoned bus at a bus depot, which is where I kept a duffel bag with my stuff in it- stuff that consisted of about four changes of clothes.

When it was really cold, I found I could sleep in the garbage chute alcoves in apartment buildings if I rang a bunch of the buzzers, somebody would let me in.

I never panhandled, but I do remember once I had to go without food because I had no money. I got paid on the third day and finally managed to eat.
Don't get me wrong- I'm not looking for pity here, just trying to say there are situations that happen sometimes, and as a bright, educated, white kid from an upper middle class family, I can say it can happen to anybody. Could I have gone to a shelter? Maybe. Not that I knew of any.

Anyway, I don't worry if some panhandler is going to buy booze, smokes, drugs, or whores with the money I give them- I just make sure the money I give them is discretionary income- the kind I would spend on smokes, booze, etc. myself

I will generally ignore "pro" panhandlers. If I generally believe someone's in a bad situation and I can help them without costing myself too much, I will try to help. I know sometimes bad stuff happens to good people.

mixedmedia

I always give them money when asked (if I have it) and I don't care what they spend it on.

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liloleme

I can honestly say i have never had the opportunity to give money to a panhandler as I have never seen one anywhere near where I live...see you gotta pipe sunshine in my neck of the woods. But if there was any panhandlers around here I would say yes i would give them money.

Sultana

If they are asking for/depending on me to give them the funds to do so, then yes. I'm not going to give away my funds to give them anything I don't want to support/perpetuate.

If someone is going to ask me for money or support, then I get to make decisions as to how they use it. If they don't like it, then...they can refuse to ask for my money!

I appreciate what Jetstream said about enabling too.

Now, the mentally disturbed folks, it's wrong that they're homeless. I feel very bad for them. I understand that situation, but I usually can't help, or it would put me in a dangerous position to even try.

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kurty[B]

I won't give panhandlers money, but I'll sit down and have a drink with them.

JustJess

Sometimes... if they have a good story. If I believe them. If I think they're being honest (i.e. "I need some beer." etc). I'm more likely to give leftovers and things like that. Food is always useful, no? But I rarely give to the ones I see regularly. Those piss me off, actually - find a new batch of people to harass!

I'm torn between kindness to others and "get a job you bum!". Hm.

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fresnelly

I wish I could give an easy answer full of conviction, but basically it comes down to my gut feeling at the time.

I tend to say no more than yes, but always try to offer an explanation. I only give them the cold shoulder if they're aggressive, rude or obviously playing puppy dog.

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Deltona Couple

I have been known to give from time to time, but mostly to the entertainers who are playing music, or some sort of show. never to the guy on the corner who is begging....except for one time. I had to give the guy props for his honesty. I was sitting at a light on the corner, and saw a gentleman who had the most original sign I have ever seen. It simply stated "WHY LIE? I WANT MONEY FOR BEER!" I laughed so hard and gave the guy a 5-spot for his honesty! True story!

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Eclectic Kitty

I have two children that I plan to keep off the streets by putting every spare penny away for their college fund. I know a few bucks here and there won't count for much in the grand scheme of things, but with my children looking on, I just can't bring myself to teach them that getting money for simply having your hand out is OK.

On the other hand, I give to charity generously whenever I see a collector for abused wives and children or a shelter that needs supplies; when don't they?

I used to work in a popular fast food restaurant as a teen. The local panhandlers would come into our restaurant to buy pizza and beer, then "make use" of the bathroom with their shaving kit and scissors, often bathing themselves from the small sink and ALWAYS leaving a mess. The roll of 20s, 10s and 5s that was pulled out to buy their weekly pizza meal was staggeringly huge. On that note, you'd think they'd be more careful, so as not to attract attention to the fact that one's life savings are kept in a backpack. <shrug>

As for West Coast rudeness... I've experienced enough of that from panhandlers to look them dead in the eye and tell them that all my money goes to my kids. No one has said anything to the contrary and only one has ever complimented me on my decision to look after my children first. Besides, how many times can you hear that someone's wife and kids are "around the corner" and that they need "just a few dollars for gas" before your calluses become brick walls?

abaya

I stopped giving money to panhandlers, in general, after coming back from 2 months in Thailand in 1998. Why? Well, the "beggars" in Thailand were truly beggars... no pretending, there. Many of them were lepers who had already lost one, if not more, limbs, and were pretty much just lying on the sidewalk, unable to move (some of them were on skateboards, if they had no legs, so they could push themselves around). There are very few public services for people in Thailand, so no shelters or soup kitchens. Life SUCKED for those people. So look, if someone is missing a LIMB or two and wearing rags while most passersby nearly step or trip on them, I am going to give them money, yes.

However, when I came back to the US and saw "homeless" people who would be RICH if they lived in a 3rd world country, I got pretty jaded and bitter. No missing limbs, more than one change of clothing, shelters aplenty... I just couldn't muster up sympathy anymore for them, not after what I saw in Thailand (and have seen in every other developing country I've been to, since then). I know it sounds harsh, but American homeless people just don't cut it, in my book. There are way too many resources out there, compared to being poor/homeless in most other countries in the world. The only exception I can think of would be mentally disabled homeless, especially if they are veterans... but it's hard to know which ones those are. So I generally just don't give, in Western countries.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran