Looking for revenge!
 

So currently at my school they're doing the whole campaigning thing for all the people who want to run for whatever office. So there are tons of signs and stuff everywhere. A couple of my friends, Catie and Kelly, decide that it's time to play a prank on me and my housemates. They gathered up as many signs as they could and planted them throughout our yard at around 2 or 3 am a few nights ago.

The next morning everyone wakes up and we all see it and think "We just got got." Of course we call around trying to find out who did it including them. They denied it up and down.

So tonight, me and 2 of my roommates, Henry and Tom, go over to their house to drink a little. They have a beerpong table set up and some stupid ass rules for it, but whatever, we play anyways. One of their rules was if a team is skunked, they have to run around their house butt naked. As fate would have it, one of the teams gets skunked (Tom and random girl). So they're forced to strip down to their bare asses and start jogging (extremely hilarious if you were there).

While they're jogging, Catie (bitch who strategically placed campaign signs all around my yard) decides to take a picture on her phone. Henry did not condone this, so a few minutes later, he takes her phone and tries to delete any photos that might be a clear picture of the naked people. As he was browsing the photos, what does he find? A PICTURE OF CATIE PLACING SIGNS IN OUR YARD!

So we found out that both Kelly and Catie trashed our yard. Now, it's time for some revenge. So I ask the people of TFP - what should we do?

it's not the most original thought, but how about coating her car in tin-foil. Inside and out.

IF they aren't too mechanically inclined.....

A zip tie around the driveshaft produces a most disturbing Thwak-thwak-thwak sound if placed where it'll hit the muffle or catalytic converter.

Another goodie if you are inclined, wire the horn to the brake lights so that it goes off when they hit the brakes. (DON'T disconnect the brake lights however, just tie the horn into the circuit.)

A nail under the accelorator pedal is good too, and they're not going anywhere fast while it's there.

Or if you're the slow torture type, see if you can actually siphon gas out of their car. Get like a gallon a night if you can. Stop for a week, then put a gallon/night back in. Next week, take 2 gallons out/night. And so on. Go with this as long as possible.


DISCLAIMER You need to decide if any one of these suggestions is safe to pull on them. These pranks are easily found online, and none of them are my ideas, I'm merely relaying them. Use these pranks at your own risk. Thank you. YMMV.

wow, that is the most convoluted, painful 'english' I have ever read...

barring that, i have always been a fan of plastic forks in the grass. stick them in so only the tines are exposed. it's easy to stick them in, but a pain in the ass to remove them. make sure they are cheep plastic forks so they break easily.

if you can find some industrial saran wrap, you can seal there car up.

Sorry. I was still kind of drunk when I wrote that.

Keep the ideas coming, though. These are pretty good ideas so far.

oh shit, forking someone's yard is a classic. then there's saran-wrapping their toilets. always a fun one. doesn't take a lot of time, if you have access to the house pretty easily. i always liked the idea of adding methylene blue to someone's drink - turns their piss blue. but its almost mildly toxic, so......

another standard is to go to your local magazine / newstand and rip out the little subscription advertisements. raunchy porn mags, for example. then fill them out and check the "bill me later" option.

god how could i forget saran wrapping a toilet...

Take out an ad in the local Pennysaver for a free television and list their phone number. Don't forget to include "please call after 11pm".

...wait a few months and see if you still feel like it. "...best served cold" & all.

Do they drink Coke?
http://www.dumpalink.com/videos/Coke...mate-f3ii.html

That coke bomb thing is good but if it falls into the coke while its closed it will build pressure and could pop the bottle most likely wont hurt anyone but its possible. If they live alone and you can get into the house saran wrap on the toilet is great. Wouldnt suggest messing with anything mechanical on a car If you did hook the horn to the brake lights it would be funny but... if they crash somehow it would all come back to you. even if everything worked fine. ziptie on the driveshaft would be good if they have a car it will work on.

Flaming bag of dog poo would be amusing but dont want to burn anyones house down. skip the bag skip the flames and just leave a giant pile outside the door and hope they dont look before they step. even better if you can get it in the shoe.

Hell just toss a dead fish under there car seat and forget it ever happened.

and icy hot inside the bra never made anyone any friends either

I'm loving the ideas. I especially like the coke bomb and the icy hot inside the bra ones. Keep them coming. I think we're going to do a combination of a lot of these.

Contact a local Jehovah's Witness church and tell them your friends are interested in hearing about the word. The call another. Then another. Then another.

Confetti in one's lawn sucks ass--just take some paper and shred it. It is impossible to get up.

Forking a lawn is also great in conjunction with the confetti.

Cut their heads off!

Buy a big trashcan and lean it against their front door in the middle of the night. Fill it with water, then wait until they open the door...

Fill an album cover with baby powder and place the open side under their door. Jump on the exposed end.

Knock them out and get them nose jobs to look like Adrian Brody and Kevin Bacon.

if they have a screen door outside of their front door. buy bulk crickets online or at your local pet shop, a few thousand, then cut the top of the screen, pour them in so they rest between the door and the screen, then ring the door bell and run, when they open the door, they will pour into there house.

I second both of these, you can line the underside of the door and just use a small fan to blow the powder under. If you want much more fun than baby powder, go to the hardware store and get chalk dust, the kind you would put in a chalk line. It's not just a pain then, it's also hot pink, neon orange, bright blue, whatever your taste may be. I'm also a big fan of bricking up doorways. I don't know how much time you spend at their place, but there is nothing quite as classic as short-sheeting someone (turn the sheet so under the cover, it lays long ways across the bed rather than down the length).

//edit: more ideas. Speaking of cars, just unhook a battery cable, or spark plug wires (this works best if you take them out and leave them on the seat). You could also disconnect the shifter cable, which leaves the car in park until fixed. Another great idea, just throw a condom into one of their beds. Better still, randomly leave a positive pregnancy test somewhere they'll both see it but it won't be in the open, so they have no reason to move it. That way they'll both assume it's the other one. Shut off the water heater.

Hahahahahaha.....jeez...

I like the cut of GH's jib...

Feed one to the other
http://www.biltongmakers.com/Cnops%20107_0724.JPG
and then sit back and laugh and laugh and laugh.

"A Little Priest" - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

[...]

MRS. LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
SWEENEY TODD: What is that?

LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
but then again, not as bland as curate, either!

LOVETT:
And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that's lean.
LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?
LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

[...]

LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.
TODD: Something... pinker.
LOVETT: Tailor?
TODD: Paler.
LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
LOVETT: Locksmith?

Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark.
LOVETT:
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark!
Try the financier,
Peak of his career!
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
LOVETT:
Well, he drank,
It's a bank
Cashier.
Never really sold.
Maybe it was old.

[...]

LOVETT:
(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
but then of course it's... fiddle player!
TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!
LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot!
LOVETT: Then blow on it first!

TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet --
LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!
TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear
BOTH:
That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

LOVETT: (spoken)
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.

TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
LOVETT:
Then actor,
That's compacter!
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,
but we've got something you might fancy even better.
TODD: What's that?
LOVETT: Executioner!

TODD:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
TODD:
We'll take the customers that we can get!
LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,
BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!