clavus

I met my client at his gate at PDX. As we were walking out of the airport, he tried to buy a Coke.

"Are you going to take this on a plane, sir?"

"No. I'm leaving."

"Well, I'm sorry, I can not sell you the Coke. You know... homeland security."

"No. You misunderstand. I'm LEAVING the airport. I'm headed for the rental cars."

"Unless you are planning on carrying that drink onto a plane, I can not sell it to you."

"Why?"

"Homeland security"

"Ah."

He put the Coke back and we walked out of the airport, into secure homeland. Is it just me, or is this place is becoming more like East Germany every day?

Fealty to slogans trumps common sense. New "security" rules are so arbitrary and asinine, I wonder if maybe it IS against the rules to carry a Coke out of an airport.

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politicophile

Wait, isn't it illegal to carry liquids into planes these days? The last time I flew, they searched my carry-on right at the gate. I even saw them confiscate some lady's drink.

From this experience, I take it that one of two things is true:

1. Your friend was duped by the idiot vendor into thinking that DHS regulated who Coke could be sold to.
2. Your story isn't true.

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Dilbert1234567

maybe a Pepsi?

I'm getting sick and tire of my government these days, we are all vulnerable, yes we can die at any time, but its a small chance, i can't have a bottle of water on the plane, but i can still have a lighter and some books of matches.

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MexicanOnABike

he should have had a Pepsi.

it's funny how a few months ago, anything liquid was a scary thing near a plane and now they only let you take it on a plane? wtf is wrong with your country!??

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The_Jazz

OK, I suspect that the OP is a cut-and-paste job from an email - not that there's anything wrong with doing that (or that it's ever a problem here). However, there is one big factual problem and one big logistical one. First, you can't pick up anyone at the gate anymore without a ticket for that day. Period. As some of you know, I log about 60,000-75,000 miles per year on various airlines, and I know this as well as I know my own name. That means I'm suspicious of everything after the first sentence. If this happened, clavus couldn't have been a witness.

The logicistical problem is the clerk asking the question at all. In a decent-sized airport like Portland, sales clerks are just like other clerks - they tend not to ask questions.

And I just thought of one other problem - there's no TSA provision barring beverages from being consumed off-premises.

To sum up, I don't think that this happened, or if it did that it happened as described or that it was anything more than a clerk screwing with someone, most likely out of boredom.

Clavus, I don't mean this personally at all (the exact opposite, actually), but I'm calling "shenanigans".

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Brewmaniac

Not found at snopes, sounds like a bored clerk and good for him, screwing with an out of towner. Sometimes you just got to mess with someone just to get through the day!

Cheap grins!

Carno

What I want to know is why the magazine on the rifle in clavus' avatar is facing the wrong way.

Destrox

Thats my thought as well, hell I do it to people often.

Nothing beats beating people with stupidity.

If it sounds too stupid, it probably is true.

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clavus

Hey. I'm back. It happened. I was there. I wrote this. It wasn't an email.

I picked my client up at the gate for Delta flight #543 from Atlanta. As we were walking out, the incident happened in the first news-stand/ book-store thing on the left. The one with the Coke case on the back wall. The one in the "secure" part of the airport, not in the main area where the unwashed masses are allowed to congregate.

shenanigans THIS!

OK, now that we have that out of the way. I think the clerk was just a moron who got her orders mixed up. But I also think that people who work at airports are on such a blind power trip these days that it is best to interact with them as little as possible. It doesn't take much to accidentally escalate the situation in an airport.

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The_Jazz

OK, you've GOT to explain to me how you got past security without a boarding pass. Is the Portland security really that lax? I can't get anywhere close to a gate without a boarding pass anywhere I go (not that I usually try), but this one is news to me and is exactly counter to everything I know.

Sorry to threadjack, but you've really got me curious.

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eribrav

I'm with Jazz. I don't fly nearly as much but every airport I've been to in the last 5 years, only passengers with a boarding pass get through security to the gates.
How did you get in there clavus?

clavus

No prob.

You fly from SMF to PDX via Southwest airlines. Then you walk from your gate, down that hall where you look into the back of the restaurants over to the other gates. You don't have to walk out through the main area with all those shops and try to go through security. Just stay in the secure area.

And since this thread has TOTALLY come off the rails, let me say a little something about the fine folks who work security. THEY SUCK AT THEIR JOBS.

Reason 1
My dad (Mr. Respect Authority himself) accidentally left his pocket knife in his carry-on bag. The security drones tossed his luggage looking for it. When he asked what they were looking for, they threatened to lock him up. (WTF?!) Eventually they told him they were looking for a pocket knife. He said, "check the pocket of my blue shorts." No dice. Eventually they repacked the bag and sent him on his way. When he got to the hotel, there was his pocket knife in the pocket of his blue shorts.

Reason 2
My wife set off the metal detector. She sood there while the two guys working the machine babbled at eachother, totally ignoring her. After a few seconds, she shrugged her shoulders and went on through.

Oopsy! She forgot to take THIS out of her pocket -


Reason 3
I found this in my carry-on after I got off a plane - YIPES!!


One might conclude that my family has a problem remembering to take knives out of pockets. Or maybe we are just morons. If so, I guess we are qualified to work at the airport.

Because it is not a rifle. It is a plasma gun. Duh!

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ngdawg

Last summer I flew out of Newark Liberty Airport, final destination was Kansas City, stopover in Atlanta.
I packed a large purse I don't normally use, but it makes a good camera bag.
It went through the X-ray/security thing in its little tray, I gathered it and my flipflops(yea, now we even take off flipflops to have them checked out) and got on the plane.
Atlanta Airport has a smoking room. My stopover was 2 hours, so I take a seat and reach into the bag and...what have we here? A Bic lighter. Everyone else sitting there had matches, maybe. I was queen of the smoking room
Good thing they have those rules against bringing lighters onboard....
And when I went to buy a bottle of water, they take the cap, inform you you must get rid of the bottle before boarding....yea, whatever....I got my lighter-screw you!

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Grasshopper Green

To continue the threadjack...

I have no faith in airport security. When we flew to Mexico, I had two boxcutters in my purse that I forgot to take out before we left. I realized that I had them after we got there and threw them away before we flew back to the States.

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Charlatan

Why are all you people packing knives and boxcutters?

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Grasshopper Green

I had mine because of my job....I cut boxes open at work all the time, and if I left them at work they'd get stolen.

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MexicanOnABike

Clavus: where did you get that credit card knife? it's really cool!

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Dilbert1234567

my bro had his leather man stolen from his suitcase (checked luggage) last time he flew... bastards...

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ngdawg

Combination lock always...and the expensive shit, carryon. Granted, some asshat could cut the lock, but they have to have cause or face a lawsuit, etc.
All this just proves....stupid is everywhere....uniforms and badges do not a smart person make.

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clavus

I got it from my lovely wife.

It's called a Spydercard. It is made by Spyderco.

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Fire

your family has great taste in knives- I have the spydercard myself, and had it handed back to me after it went through an x-ray with my wallet at the county courthouse- luckily, I was not after any judges....... The cold steel push knife is cool too..........

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jorgelito

Wait, you were able to get the knife into the courthouse?

Dilbert1234567

sorry hun, they cut those off these days if they want to.

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alicat

Dilbert beat me to it. I haven't flied in awhile but my hubby does all too often. He always flies out of Gerald R. Ford airport (Grand Rapids, Michigan) and locks of any kind had better be unlocked before they go through the security/x-ray machine or they will ask you to unlock them. If he refused, the locks would either have to be cut or his baggage wouldn't be travelling with him.

His tool box has a lot of expensive eqipment in it so he watches and ask's them to please make sure they lock it (whether they do or not I don't know but so far so good).

Ali

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ngdawg

I know, which is why only stuff easily replaced gets put into any checked bag I bring; important stuff, usually just my camera and cash, etc., I take with me.
Alicat: I've never been asked to open my bags, but then again I don't bring luggage to the plane-that drives me nuts waiting on people with their 2-ton carry-ons!!

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MSD

I'm still not sure how this policy hasn't caused a nationwide epidemic of athlete's foot.
Locks on baggage do nothing. If you have one, it will be cut off because it immediately raises suspicion.

Also, looks like you do the opposite of what I do. I pack little enough to fit everything into carry on.

Halx

Does your wife shank people very often?

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ngdawg

Nothing feels worse than having to be barefoot in an airport! I expressly wore flipflops to avoid having to take off shoes-it'd always worked before-guess my feet looked suspicious
I must look very innocent. I've never had a lock or, when I used one, those plastic one-way ties, cut. I have almost always checked in my luggage-only once did I bring it with me to have them place it on the plane. All those people with their big bags, trying to shove them into the overheads, while we're waiting to take our seats just irritates the hell out of me. If they aren't going to check them in, at least leave them where they put them directly on the plane prior to take off.
I'm female-packing very little means leaving the kitchen appliances at home

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clavus

Only in the showers.

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genuinegirly

You must not travel through LAX too often. I've had every lock cut off my check-in baggage. It's not pleasant to realize that you accidentally left it on. Usually they are courteous enough (at least on Southwest) to request that you take them off when you're getting your luggage checked in.

The most frustrating thing that I've ever dealt with was when they wouldn't let me check matches when traveling between state lines pre- 9/11. I didn't understand that one at all, especially since I had just bought the nifty box of matches.

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ngdawg

Only Newark departures. Once you're outta there, you have free rein anywhere else....that lighter stayed with me the whole trip
What had me actually laughing was coming home from the Kansas City Airport-again, made it through with the lighter and as I sat down waiting on my flight, security was patting down some guy. Man, they're pretty thorough too-I might have actually enjoyed something like that!!

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jorgelito

I didn't understand the matches thing either until I learned that they can spontaneously combust. They are actually pretty dangerous.

A book of matches ignited in my duffel bag once. Good thing I was there to put it out. That's why they are not allowed on airplanes.

Fire

In answer to your question, yes, I forgot I had it untill it was in the x-ray machine, and they handed it back to me without realizing what it was (It looks pretty much like a credit card on x ray)

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Xell101

They were concerned with results in East Germany. Here we're all about observability.

eileenbunny

I've noted that bic lighters do not set off metal detectors at airports so rather than putting them in my carry on and having them thrown away by the security nazis, I just keep mine in my pocket and they never know it's there. I too have been through security with a Spydercard.

Once though, there was a huge fuss made over my purse because someone decided that it smelled like marijuana. I didn't have any and of course I explained this, but they insisted on searching everything I owned for close to an hour before admitting defeat. I'm really frustrated that they are that pressed about the possibility of a little drugs, but a knife and a lighter can slip through without worry.

biznatch

I second Eileen's post about Bic lighters. They have so little metal on them the detectors ignore them. I just keep them in my jean pockets. If I were to get confronted on that, I'd just say that I forgot it was there, which is very plausible.