I had a chicken situation... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

fhqwhgads · 02-21-2007, 03:19 AM

My wife and I don't go out to eat all that often. The majority of our dinners are spent sitting on the couch, trying to keep our two dogs from helping themselves when we happen to get caught up in an entertaining episode of Dirty Jobs. Well, my father was in town from California just a few weeks ago. Surprisingly he doesn't enjoy our dinner ritual as much as we do, so we spent a lot of nights eating out. One night in particular, we all went out to the Outback Steakhouse.

Once we were all seated at the table, the waiter came by and took our drink order. I never did catch his name, so for the purposes of this tale, we'll call him "Pete". We had a fairly large group... it was my father, my step-mother, my in-laws, my brother and his wife, my nephew, my wife, and I. Pete started at the other end of the table, and as he spoke, I definitely got the vibe that Pete may... well... enjoy the company of other men. I wasn't getting a "Liberace in a sequined jumpsuit" strength vibe... more like a "have you ever noticed that cousin Ted never brings a girl to Thanksgiving dinner" type feeling. Why do I mention the possible sexuality of our server? It will all become clear pretty soon...

After we all order our drinks, Pete heads off to get them and put in our spinach and artichoke dip order. I start to look over the menu, and I decide to get a steak. The one I want in particular is called the "Outback Special", and since I was hungry, I figured I'd get the 12 ounce. I closed my menu and started up a conversation with my father.

Pete came back and started to take our order. When it was my turn to order, I loudly proclaimed "Yes, I'd like your 12 inch special." Oh yeah... Freud would have been proud.

I tried my best to play it off by saying "That was silly... I mean the 12 OUNCE special...", but there's really no recovering from something like that. I made eye contact with my wife, who, God bless her, was doing her best to maintain her composure. I refused to turn around and make eye contact with Pete... I just quietly closed my menu and passed it over my shoulder to him. Luckily the rest of my family was either too preoccupied or too innocent to realize what I had just said...

(If you don't understand the title of this post, clickity click NSFW language)

amonkie · 02-21-2007, 05:42 AM

At least you didn't ask if HE was on the menu

eribrav · 02-21-2007, 05:50 AM

I wonder if any Freudians read this board?

Ourcrazymodern? · 02-21-2007, 06:48 AM

Thanks for sharing, sir, a great anecdote. rotflmao!

absorbentishe · 02-21-2007, 08:11 AM

Are you sure the waiter's name wasn't "Nick the Dick"! Oh that is too funny.

So what did he bring you?

Sultana · 02-21-2007, 08:29 AM

That is hilarious, I wish I could have been there!

It's good to know I'm not the only one who does things like this (says the gal who once *completely innocently* offered a bite of her fish taco to a new male friend).

Bill O'Rights · 02-21-2007, 09:03 AM

Fish taco?!?

OK...you made that up.

Right?

ngdawg · 02-21-2007, 10:04 AM

I have done that more times than I can count....

Sultana · 02-21-2007, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Fish taco?!?

OK...you made that up.

Right?

Listen! I had three large fish tacos on the plate, I couldn't eat them all anyways, he hadn't ordered anything...it made perfect sense at the time!

I'm just a generous and caring person, OK?!?

Crack · 02-21-2007, 01:29 PM

I have never heard of an ACTUAL fish taco...

the place that serves a fish taco is just asking for trouble

Reminds me of the time I had a friend stay over night when I was 10 or so, and I asked if he would like to wrestle naked... man did I ever get embarrassed. What I really meant to say was "would you like to wrestle naked in the bath tub?" Big difference there.

Bill O'Rights · 02-21-2007, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crack

I have never heard of an ACTUAL fish taco...

the place that serves a fish taco is just asking for trouble

That's what I'm gettin' at.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crack

Reminds me of the time I had a friend stay over night when I was 10 or so, and I asked if he would like to wrestle naked... man did I ever get embarrassed. What I really meant to say was "would you like to wrestle naked in the bath tub?" Big difference there.

Allright...you go stand over there. Waaaay over there.

Crack · 02-21-2007, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Allright...you go stand over there. Waaaay over there.

You mean over there? ==>

In the bath tub?

Alrighty, now we're talking!

Sultana · 02-21-2007, 02:15 PM

Oh yeah, and today I accidentally said "frenulum" to my boss. Then I turned beet red, and couldn't stop giggling.

I wasn't even sure what it was!!

Bill O'Rights · 02-21-2007, 02:29 PM

Isn't that the piece of skin under the tounge that keeps it attached to the floor of your mouth?

And...how does that work its' way into a professional work conversation?

"Man! Is my frenulum ever sore today."

eribrav · 02-21-2007, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Isn't that the piece of skin under the tounge that keeps it attached to the floor of your mouth?

And...how does that work its' way into a professional work conversation?

"Man! Is my frenulum ever sore today."

Your frenulum is probably sore from eating those fish tacos all night!

SirLance · 02-21-2007, 07:25 PM

Had it happen!

Hey, I just spent half an hour watching Greg Behrent vids, awsome! Thanks for the link!

02-21-2007, 03:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
fhqwhgads Junkie	I had a chicken situation... My wife and I don't go out to eat all that often. The majority of our dinners are spent sitting on the couch, trying to keep our two dogs from helping themselves when we happen to get caught up in an entertaining episode of Dirty Jobs. Well, my father was in town from California just a few weeks ago. Surprisingly he doesn't enjoy our dinner ritual as much as we do, so we spent a lot of nights eating out. One night in particular, we all went out to the Outback Steakhouse. Once we were all seated at the table, the waiter came by and took our drink order. I never did catch his name, so for the purposes of this tale, we'll call him "Pete". We had a fairly large group... it was my father, my step-mother, my in-laws, my brother and his wife, my nephew, my wife, and I. Pete started at the other end of the table, and as he spoke, I definitely got the vibe that Pete may... well... enjoy the company of other men. I wasn't getting a "Liberace in a sequined jumpsuit" strength vibe... more like a "have you ever noticed that cousin Ted never brings a girl to Thanksgiving dinner" type feeling. Why do I mention the possible sexuality of our server? It will all become clear pretty soon... After we all order our drinks, Pete heads off to get them and put in our spinach and artichoke dip order. I start to look over the menu, and I decide to get a steak. The one I want in particular is called the "Outback Special", and since I was hungry, I figured I'd get the 12 ounce. I closed my menu and started up a conversation with my father. Pete came back and started to take our order. When it was my turn to order, I loudly proclaimed "Yes, I'd like your 12 inch special." Oh yeah... Freud would have been proud. I tried my best to play it off by saying "That was silly... I mean the 12 OUNCE special...", but there's really no recovering from something like that. I made eye contact with my wife, who, God bless her, was doing her best to maintain her composure. I refused to turn around and make eye contact with Pete... I just quietly closed my menu and passed it over my shoulder to him. Luckily the rest of my family was either too preoccupied or too innocent to realize what I had just said... (If you don't understand the title of this post, clickity click NSFW language)

02-21-2007, 05:42 AM	#2 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	At least you didn't ask if HE was on the menu __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

02-21-2007, 06:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Thanks for sharing, sir, a great anecdote. rotflmao! __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

02-21-2007, 08:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	That is hilarious, I wish I could have been there! It's good to know I'm not the only one who does things like this (says the gal who once completely innocently offered a bite of her fish taco to a new male friend). __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

02-21-2007, 09:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	Fish taco?!? OK...you made that up. Right? __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

02-21-2007, 05:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	I wonder if any Freudians read this board?

02-21-2007, 08:11 AM	#5 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	Are you sure the waiter's name wasn't "Nick the Dick"! Oh that is too funny. So what did he bring you?

02-21-2007, 10:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I have done that more times than I can count.... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

02-21-2007, 01:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	I have never heard of an ACTUAL fish taco... the place that serves a fish taco is just asking for trouble Reminds me of the time I had a friend stay over night when I was 10 or so, and I asked if he would like to wrestle naked... man did I ever get embarrassed. What I really meant to say was "would you like to wrestle naked in the bath tub?" Big difference there. __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

02-21-2007, 02:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Oh yeah, and today I accidentally said "frenulum" to my boss. Then I turned beet red, and couldn't stop giggling. I wasn't even sure what it was!! __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

02-21-2007, 02:29 PM	#14 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	Isn't that the piece of skin under the tounge that keeps it attached to the floor of your mouth? And...how does that work its' way into a professional work conversation? "Man! Is my frenulum ever sore today." __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

02-21-2007, 07:25 PM	#16 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Had it happen! Hey, I just spent half an hour watching Greg Behrent vids, awsome! Thanks for the link! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.