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Significant other annoyed that you ignore him/her? Just explain, it's reactance!
<a href="http://www.pressesc.com/01171393773_nagging_wife_ignore/">
Quote:
I don't know if it really falls under the description of reactance in this particular study, but I do find that my willingness to do something - even if I know it's a good thing to do - depends on how someone asks me to do it. The less polite someone is when asking me to do something, or the less acknowledging they are of the fact it may not be something I'm entirely eager to do, the less likely I am to be willing to do it. I think some of Dale Carnegie's advice is particular relevant here: "Talk in terms of the other person's interests." What are you own experiences? Do you feel as though you're more often the victim of reactance or someone who responds with it? Think about specific relationships, such as with a SO or boss, since I suspect it's pretty even if you look across all your relationships. |
I actively practice reactance because humans are trainable and I like people that interact with me to be respectful and not naggers. It's amazing how people treat each other to me sometimes. I simply refuse to be treated in a disrespectful manner, and if someone wishes to interact with me, they have to show respect because I will just ignore them otherwise.
When I was younger I would actively refuse requests much as the article states about people trying to retain their autonomy - even when the request was something I wanted to do or was already doing. Now I am much more relaxed about that. Call it immature, but I generally let them know that I was in the process of doing it so they know I'm not doing whatever simply because I was told to. Sometimes it is still hard for me to do things I want to do / should do if someone has told me to do them, though. The article made me think of something else I would pose as a question to everyone else: Does nagging work? I mean, if it didn't work, people wouldn't do it, right? Perhaps it works on some and not others. |
It is interesting. Yet another tally in favor of pacifism.
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