The_Jazz

One of my secret vices is reading "Dear Abby" on a daily basis. My wife thinks it's hilarious that a 36-year old man turns to that column immediately after finishing the sports page, but I've been reading it since I was in the 2nd grade.

My self-revalations aside, the topic in today's column was a follow-up to a earlier one about a person that felt pressured to drink at work functions. This is something that is near and dear to my heart considering the expectations in my industry. As an example, tonight one of my best friends on the underwriting side is driving into town, and I'm taking him and 3 or 4 other brokers out to dinner (Tavern on Rush if anyone's interested). There will be cocktails at the bar, at least a couple of bottles of wine with dinner and more drinks back at the bar while we play "guess who's a hooker". That's standard operating procedure around here.

My industry revolves around drinking. If you don't drink and make it well known, people will generally be very respectful of that, but if it's not well known or you do drink occassionally, abuse will follow. Anytime I take anyone anywhere are a part of a work function, there's almost certainly going to be alcohol served and even more certainly several people will be overserved. I've been to conventions around the country where my coworkers and competitors have gotten in fights, felt up waitresses, been arrested, paid prostitutes and vomited in the gutter. Note: these are things I've been witness to, not participated in.

That said, I've made it a point to find the flaws in the system. I've slipped bartenders an extra $20 to make sure that all my vodka tonics are all tonic. I've ordered shots for the table and gone to the bathroom just before they arrive. I've purposefully spilled drinks on the floor. Maybe once a year I'll get out of control and get really loaded, but I'm at the point in life where that's not much fun anymore, especially when I realilze how I'm going to feel in the morning and that my kid is getting up at 6:30 regardless of how I feel or how much sleep I got.

My point of all of this is wondering how prevalent this kind of behavior is. Do IT people (just to name a profession) go out and get hammered at all of their functions? Does every convention turn into a crime against humanity at some point? Am I the only one that has ordered wine based solely on the price?

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Sultana

Hmm. In the technical information industry that's not common--although to be honest, I don't get sent to conventions and the like. I don't know anyone who is--cheap companies we work for.

But even in Hollywood, in the burlesque community (a pretty wild crowd, to be sure), I've never felt pressured to drink more than I wanted to, or when I didn't want to. I've never felt that my being hired for a show depended on my drinking booze in front of the show producer, at any point. It may help that I usually have a minimum 1 hour drive home after any given show, or maybe even in Hollywood, people are more respectful of one's personal choices. Lots of people going through rehab for various things, so no one ever pushes anything, anywhere.

Or maybe I just work with the upper crust. I don't need to get blotto with folks to get work.

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Glory's Sun

Hrmm,

I think drinking should be expected at all times

If I know someone doesn't drink or say they've had enough, I might tease them a little bit but I won't force them to drink. After all, they will probably end up being my ride after I'm done.

I think every profession has some expectation of drinks and fun when people go to conventions/out of town meetings etc. It's up to the actual person to not feel up waitresses or get arrested. If you bow down to the peer pressure then you're just a pussy to begin with.

I don't drink to get work, I drink with the clients after I've already been awarded the contract and they agree to pay for everything

ngdawg

Dear Abby is the first thing I read too....
You would think in this age of enlightenment, when getting a DUI is such a fear to many, drinking wouldn't be an issue at all....so much for 'progress'.
I worked Accounts Payable for a major candy maker in the 80's and 90's. Generally, there were 2 or 3 big conventions a year, the biggest held in Las Vegas. I remember one bartab of $900 for one night.
The managers of a bank where I worked loved to party(read: drink). I'm not a prudish teetotaler, but if I'm going to be driving, I don't need to be guzzling alcohol and would just have maybe one drink and the rest of the night, go with club soda. These guys were fond of goading, teasing, etc., in efforts to get more booze into everyone. All that did was make me lose any modicum of respect I might have had for them. I'm also just immature enough to be sure to defy more and more as the goading goes on-the more pressure one puts on me to do something I didn't want to do in the first place, the more I will resist, even if I really wanted that third drink.
I think the writer in today's column was wrong; no one should give into pressure or cover up to seem 'equal'. It's wimping out and not keeping personal principles and in the business world, I don't see much use for those kind of people.

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canuckguy

I work for a research company that has a CEO that likes to party. There is no pressure to drink or party, but if you want to network it does help to hoist a few. If I don't feel like boozing it up I'll order a beer in a bottle and just drink that one, and fill it up with water in the bathroom.
I once years ago started to smoke only to get a promotion as the manager of the department I wanted to transfer to was a heavy smoker. Worked like a charm, once i got the job i quit smoking.
Not sure about the upper crust thing though, i had no idea drinking was for poor folks. I've been at business dinners and celebrations with CEO's of fortune 500's and Bob from Bobs crab shack and it does not matter what your background or bank account total is. Your either a drinker or not.

Sultana

When I said "upper crust", I was not referring to $. I meant a higher quality of people in general.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Daniel_

My company is family run and managed by the three founding brothers. They have a reputation as party people (by which I do actually mean they throw great parties - juglers adn fire eaters at the last one).

There is an expectation that one will drink to excess in middle management, and the founders certainly drink their fair share at a party, but it's interesting to note that when they are talking in private, the founders will castigate staff that got hopelessly drunk in their presence.

It seems that having a drink is not expected, but if you choose to do it, you'd better be able to carry it off.

I have a few, and switch from large beers to mixed long drinks early on, and as said above let people assume that there's gin in my tonic...

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The_Jazz

Daniel_, you remind me of what my industry is like in London: drunken. Typically, brokers are in the office for the first part of the day and then adjourn to the pubs where most of the deals are actually done.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Cynthetiq

most of the IT people I know it's very much like that, though i used your techniques to get people loaded, and get extra for me.

in my circles of friends and experience in IT it very much is like that... lots of debauchery on a daily basis.

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Willravel

It's common in many industries, including my own. I don't really drink anymore, and if people give me shit about it, I simply make them feel badly about how much they drink. Being a 23 year old who's mature enough to know how dangerous alcohol's effects on someone can be, it's not hard to tear someone a new asshole if they disrespect me for not getting wasted and doing something innapropriate.

If you're a strong person, you can either ignore them, deflect them, or go on the offensive. I usually go in that order.

Alcohol is an excuse to lose inhabitions and leave reality. People who often get intoxicated usually have a reason besides wanting to party. It's good, Jazz, that you know better.

Smooth23

I work in a large factory (800~ employees). This weekend they are having 'winterfest'. They are having it at a hotel, with discounted rates on rooms.. Yes, everyone goes there to get totally wasted. Least they make it easy for us not to have to drive afterwards.

Borla

I don't think it is relegated to just your industry......I think it is extremely widespread, especially in job positions that require travel (and thus usually entertaining). I'm often the "babysitter" on such nights out. Not that I don't have a few drinks, but that I actually keep control of myself.

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Gilda

Social drinking as a part of the social aspect of being part of the University faculty is common and seems to be routinely expected, unless you're an alcoholic, in which case not drinking is respected.

I'm the only non-drinker in the department, so far as I know. I drink soft drinks, usually Pepsi, rather than alcohol because I like the taste and strongly dislike the taste of alcohol. This was remarkable enough to have drawn some criticism and more than a few critical remarks.

I think maybe some drinkers take it as a personal offense, a judgment of them, if they're drinking with someone who isn't. This seems a strange reaction to me, but it is what it is.

Is it any wonder that college student subcultures often have strong pressure regarding binge drinking? We've created a culture in which it's not only acceptable, but expected that consumption of alcohol accompanies social functions. College binge drinking is a logical, if extreme, extension of this. A foolish one to be sure, but the idea that people should drink at social functions is foolish to begin with, so the extreme version practiced at the college level is just that same foolishness taken up a few notches.

This is why I was home alone last weekend while my family went bar hopping.

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dc_dux

In the 20 years of working in political jobs where schmoozing is a requirement at receptions, luncheons, conventions, etc, I have seen a dramatic decline in the number of drinkers. Club soda w/lime or something similar, has become the preferred drink of many, with no offense taken by the drinkers (most of whom tend to be among the older participants).

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Sharon

Here in England, I find that there's a pressure to drink as a part of the general CULTURE as a whole, regardless of industry... I know that's not completely relevant, but it seems like everybody here goes out and gets completely obliterated on a Thursday night.

MSD

I have friends in the financial industry, and they don't even have to go out and party, they bring in beer and start in the office every Friday around 2 or 3. I work on a dry campus and my bosses are 13 and 32 years older than me, so we don't do anything together outside of work.

Baron Opal

I tend to see three levels in my industry (pharmacy).

First, there's the everyday relaxation which might be a glass of wine with a meal or one or two beers or cocktails at a pub. While often social, I've rarely seen people in my profession get intoxicated, let alone really drunk, at this point. You're working the next day, or in a couple of days, and you never know when you might get called in. You just can't afford to be unavailable, or worse, make mistakes the next day.

Next, there's the small convention. These are only 2-3 day things, sometimes just overnight trips. You're out of town, meeting up with some industry friends and you go out for a good time and some networking. Maybe a drug rep gives you a pass to a club or a show. I've seen some people get pretty hammered, but not "out of control". You are there to learn something and we as pharmacists are pretty used to being in control of ourselves.

And then there's the major conventions, 5-6 days long. There is usually a big blow-out at the end where people hook up, get smashed and go wild. All of that tension built up over the past year doesn't just unwind, it unravels. The sponsoring agency usually books a hot club for the evening, buys us a couple free drinks each, and we have a great time. This is the only time I've seen people in my business go completely nuts, but even then it is a minority. Most everyone else is dancing and shouting and getting cozy with the hot thing from another state.