fhqwhgads

I recently became an uncle, and at Christmas we got my nephew a bib that says "Future Policeman". I can't wait to see him wear it, but it got me thinking...

How do you feel about your son/daughter following in your footsteps?

I gave it some thought last night, and I'm really not sure about how I'd feel if my son or daughter told me that they wanted to become a cop. In one sense, I'm sure that I would be proud that they were devoting their life to helping others. On the other hand, this job really does change a person. I equate it to "finding out about the Matrix". I wish that I was still ignorant about the evil of the world... I wish that I could still trust people and not feel the need to constantly watch my back. I don't know if I'd want my son/daughter to have to see and know the kinds of things that law enforcement gets exposed to...

dlish

i know how you feel. as corny as it sounds, i was watching the show COPS last night thinking how cops go home at night with a straight mind and manage to do it day in and day out.

im a builder, and i wouldnt want my son (if i have any) to become a builder, cos most people in my industry are just scum... no offense to any TFP tradesmen of course!

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kurtisj

Its a legitimate thought, but realistically, hes probably not going to be one.

Do you think that you would have rather been naive to everything you've been cultured to as a cop?

If not for yourself, then why not for your kids?

Being protective can only go so far, the way I see it

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Grasshopper Green

Hubby and I have discussed this many times, but mainly about our son following in hubby's footsteps and joining the Marine Corps (or any branch, really). We have much the same feeling as you, fhq...we'd be very proud of him if he chose to devote some of his life to service to the country, but we really hope he chooses to get a college education and get started in a career before he turns 30+, which is where both hubby and I are headed right now.

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FallenAvatar

I think this entire conversations rests on one single question. What does your child want? It really doesn't matter what the parents want as far as the child's career goes. Set up an influence, possibly; however, I doubt highly, I might add, that being influenced into a decission does not make the decission correct.

As far as a mother or father's stand point I guess that really depends on if you actually enjoy your job. My family owns a restaurant. The last thing my father wants is for me to continue in his footsteps and run the place. So I think it depends on the career.

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snowy

It took my dad forever to realize I was following in his footsteps for good reasons. He did everything he possibly could to discourage me from pursuing a career in education, even going so far as to offer to pay for my LSATs and law school, should I have chosen to do so. But after doing a job shadow and some other work on his campus, and getting some feedback from his own staff about my performance as a teacher, he was finally convinced, and now fully supports me in wanting to become a teacher. I probably get at least one email from him a week about trends in education, and he and his best friend both love that I want to be a teacher now since they can "talk shop" around me. Heh.

That said, I would hope that my son or daughter won't feel the pressure I did from my own parents to succeed at the cost of my own health, and I hope that my son or daughter would feel that they could talk to me if they were having those kinds of problems. That is something that has cost me two years time in trying to get my degree, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But I would like it if they did decide to pursue education; while not lucrative, teaching is an admirable career choice.

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warrrreagl

It definitely relates to the person's true calling in life. Every good cop I've ever met was absolutely born to do that job. They're unsuccessful at most anything else they tried, and they can't stand to be out of the loop on what's happening around them. Every cop I've ever asked, "Why are you a cop?" all said it was because they wanted to be right in the middle of the action.

By the way, I did another ride-along on Dec. 30 from 10PM until 4AM and it was definitely educational. The cop I rode with is also on the local SWAT team so I rode with his assault rifle digging into my leg the whole night. He is a legendary marksman in our area and will be a motherfucker of a sniper one day. He beats himself up to no end if he makes a mistake and I sleep VERY well at night knowing he's out there.

I salute and say "God bless you" to anyone who answers that calling. Thank you, fhqwhgads, for all that you do for us.

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fhqwhgads

The decision will solely be that of my child, and I will only offer my opinion if asked. The hypothetical that I set up was if your child comes to you and expresses his/her own wish to follow your career choice, how would you feel...not whether or not you should influence that decision.

Sounds like your father has the same concerns that I do... we all want a better life for our children, and since we see the negative side of our own chosen profession more than we do someone else's, we tend to glamorize other choices more than the one that we chose.

I appreciate the kudos, warrrreagl. How about you though? How would you feel if your child wanted to follow in your footsteps?

ngdawg

My dad is a fantastic artist who did everything he could to discourage my wanting to do art as a career-he was very successful at this discouragement; I've been jobhopping all my adult life and now in middle age, am back to doing what I should have been all along.
My son surpasses me in his talent by far. He's an amazing artist for only being 14. I see in him all the things I wished I'd continued to practice, but I won't push him. He has many talents and he needs to find his own passions, not live mine.
My cousin is a retired NYC fireman. His rank at retirement was leiutenant. His son recently signed up and he is very proud of him. It seems that in service-oriented careers such as police, fireman, soldier, generation follows generation. Not sure why.....

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clavus

My job won't exist by the time my sons are old enough to join the workforce. I wouldn;t want them to do what I do anyway. I hope they find a more fulfilling, less stressful way to make a living.

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la petite moi

As much as I would love my child to be a foreign language buff, I would only give him/her the chance to learn and leave the decision to them.

warrrreagl

For those who don't know, my field is college music professor. I spent 12 years teaching music in the public schools, then I spent 7 years training college students how to be music teachers. For the past 3 years, I've been just a plain old music professor. However, I feel very, very strongly about teaching, and I would discourage any offspring of mine that didn't have the right stuff to be a teacher based on my professional opinion. I would be honored beyond belief that they wanted to do it, but I wouldn't feel right about encouraging someone to step into a classroom if they shouldn't be there.

I have a nephew who is now in that situation. He is the only niece or nephew I have who wanted to go to work with me, so I took him once - he had a ball. He spent four years in college training to be an engineer and now he's suddenly switched to education because he wants to teach. My brother and my parents all asked me what I thought about his switch and I gave it my blessing. If I thought for a second he wasn' cut out for teaching, I'd say so. But I think he'll make a tremendous teacher one day.

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Charlatan

I don't know how I would feel if my son wanted to be in the film and television industry. I guess it would depend on what aspect of the industry he wanted to engage in.

In the end, it's just not the sort of thing that one follows in someones footsteps to do (if you follow me - so to speak).

In the end, I would be happy with any choice he makes so long as he makes a choice that makes him happy and able to make enough money to keep a roof over his head and food in his stomach (happiness being the key factor).

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Fly

no way in hell would i want my kids to be working on roofs..........no way.


i'm just throwing all kinds of things at them,and i'm sure they'll grasp onto whatever tickles their fancy.

both of them are really good on instruments,and my daughter has a decent voice.she can drum like a bat outta hell too.....and she's only 10.

as for my son...14..helluva drummer as well but........he's been buggin' me as of late to teach him guitar...and he dialed in the bass on his own......"he dad look what i learned.".........he blew me outta the water.

if only they would practice on a regular basis.......they'd be really good as musicians.

now do i want them to be musicians?..........not really but,if they enjoy it....then hell.........i'll back them up.

i'd back my kids in any choice they were to make actually.

except for being a scumbag roofer like their dad.

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warrrreagl

Here's a funny thing I've learned about musicians over the years - the ones who are truly bitten by the bug couldn't put down their instruments even if their lives depended on it. I never worry about a kid practicing enough if they were truly called to be a musician. Now there's a lot of folks out there with musical talent (and it's a damn shame when they won't practice), but that doesn't mean they were meant to be musicians.

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Bossnass

My dad is a directional driller. It was a tempting, well paying job 30 years ago, and for many it still is at least here in Alberta. I was absolutely forbidden to go into the oil patch. My dad went as far as to tell his network not to hire me (as he is one of the 'old boys' that everyone knows to a little bit), he has contemporaries running a large portion of the drilling companies. When I was looking for a co-sign to buy a truck after highschool, it was given only on the condition that I would not use it to drive to an oil-based job.

At the time I thought it was pretty ridiculous and unfair, and even now I know people that are making six figures a year working the rigs. However, I'm rather happy that I have little in common with them and I have learned that my dad is not a representative sample.

In the big picture, my blue collar dad had pushed his kids away from certain jobs (my sister away from nursing, my brother away from the RCMP (as his dad was) and me away from the trades), but he never directed us elsewhere and we were able to find something we actually wanted to do. My sister is a pharmacist, my brother is a lawyer, and I'll soon be an engineer.

ngdawg

Ok, first off...you're not a 'scumbag roofer', so quit it.*smack* (if you get the show, watch "Dirty Jobs" sometime). You work at a needed trade that you are probably quite skilled at, it puts a roof over your head, food on the table and allows you to indulge in your true passion of music.
Your kids more than likely inherited your musical talent; it seems that, (except in my case with Dad being an artist), kids inherit their parents' talents and manage to take them one step further than the generation before. My son, in addition to being so outstanding as an artist, is now showing amazing skill at music composition. Of course, he practices daily for hours either on the keyboard he borrows from school or on the computer, but for now it's a passion of his that I hope he continues. But if he doesn't, that's ok too; when he was younger, until about 10 years old, he was a terrific tapdancer. My sister remarking that he was the lucky only boy in his dance class basically killed that pasttime.

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shesus

If I ever have a child, I don't know what I would want them to do. I wouldn't encourage teaching, but I wouldn't discourage it either. If you can get a stable position in a decent school, it's a wonderful career.

All I'd really want is like others have said. I would want them to choose something that they enjoy and would allow them to live comfortably. My step-daughter wants to get into art and I think that it is so competitive. Of course, everything is these days. The population is getting so big, I'm wondering if there will be enough jobs for everyone.

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