I am a soldier, but not a hero - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

KellyC · 11-15-2006, 11:55 AM

Extraordinary acts of valor
For a soldier, going to war is a duty. Heroes go much further.
By Phillip Carter, PHILLIP CARTER, an attorney with McKenna Long & Aldridge, served in Iraq with the Army's 101st Airborne Division.
November 11, 2006

COMING HOME from a combat zone is an alienating experience. America's deepening civil-military divide crystallized for me two weeks after I had returned from Iraq, while sitting at a Starbucks in the San Fernando Valley. I looked around the cafe and saw a dozen people ordering coffee, talking, reading and studying, while the baristas were busily serving drinks. All of a sudden, it hit me. Even though we are a nation at war, the war does not really seem to exist here in America.

Frequently over the last two months, my friends have referred to me and other veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan as "heroes." This has disturbed me a great deal, forming another sort of alienation that is likely to become particularly acute this Veterans Day. American society venerates all soldiers as heroes, yet we in the military reserve that label for those who truly go above and beyond the call of duty. To us, the ordinary soldiers who merely served in harm's way, the label feels like a garish shirt — it neither describes us well nor fits us comfortably.

During peacetime, I remember wondering how I would perform under fire for the first time. I vividly recall my first raid in Iraq, when my team hit its first improvised explosive device, thanking God and my training that I did not wet my pants in fear. We stand in awe of those who, at the moment of truth, can muster the moral and physical courage to stand above the rest by rushing to a wounded comrade or into a hostile building.

Heroic legends, from the stories of Homer to the modern-day medal citations in Iraq, are passed on from sergeants to privates, captains to lieutenants. We mark these men and women with ribbons and medals to reward their heroism, but also to establish these warriors as role models whose example might encourage the rest of us soldiers.

Civilian society venerates its heroes too, often for similar reasons. Who can forget the example of the firefighters and police officers who rushed into the burning World Trade Center on Sept. 11? But in today's society, the mere act of volunteering for military service has somehow mutated into a heroic act.

Less than 1% of our country wears a military uniform; fewer still have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. Instead of being seen as a duty that should be borne by all, military service has been transformed into an elective chosen by the few. Today, with America at war, the burden of service is heavy, but it is not wide. Small military communities such as Oceanside, Calif.; and Clarksville, Tenn., feel the human cost of this war, but they are unusual in America. And so we lavish praise on those who make this decision, regardless of whether their choice is owed to personal patriotism, ambition or a quest for opportunity.

Soldiers and civilians also share a different moral code, something highlighted by those different definitions of heroism. Soldiers exist for their team; they will do anything for love of their brothers and sisters in uniform. Civilians, by contrast, live for themselves. Americans have become the quintessential rational actors of economic lore — pursuing their self-interest above all else, seeking enrichment and gratification.

To be sure, Americans engage in a great deal of altruism, and this is to be praised too. But the sporadic acts of selfless service performed by civilians cannot compare to the life of service chosen by our military personnel.

So when civilians approach us in airports and cafes to thank us for our service, it frequently causes some degree of discomfort and alienation. Although grateful for the warm reception, many of us don't know how to respond. Our service means a great deal to us. We will never forget the sacrifices, hardships or experiences we had in combat, nor will we ever forget those with whom we served. But I have never felt that such service merits praise, and certainly not the label of heroism.

I judge myself by the code of a warrior. That ethos demands selfless service, not aggrandizement. It praises the team, not the individual. And it saves its highest accolades for those who distinguish themselves through extraordinary acts of valor. As veterans, we know the real heroes among us; many of them did not come home. Awarding this distinction to everyone cheapens the accomplishments of those who earned it — and makes the rest of us feel guilty that we have somehow stolen recognition from the worthy.

On this Veterans Day, many Americans will pause for a moment to think of service to the nation and of those who have worn the uniform on their behalf. At a time when such a small fraction of our country serves, it may be just one of two days a year (the other being Memorial Day) when this occurs in any meaningful way. But when you talk to us, or about us, this Veterans Day, please don't call us heroes. Save that label for those warriors who truly deserve it. I was just doing my duty.

--------------------------------------

Sorry, I don't have the link, I got it from another forum and the poster didn't give the link either. It's a few days after Veterans' Day but I hardly think it would be too late discuss and appreciate the men and women who serve our country since, in my opinion, it should be a year-round kind of thing, not just on 11/11.

Moving on...

To the fellow TFPers who had served or is currently serving, can you relate to what this man said? I know that some veterans feel awkward when they have people coming up to them to thank them, probably because they're overwhelmed or it's so unexpected, but this man seems to feel guilty and a hint of resentment about being called a hero. So how should us civilians show our appreciation to you veterans without making you feel awkward? Regardless of what he said, I still think that he and others like him are heroes.

Which begs the question: What is your criteria of being a hero? To me, a hero is some one who dedicates his/herself selflessly to a good cause. The writer seems to match the description pretty well so why shy from being called as such? Sure he doesn't do as much as those whom he venerates as the real heroes, or sacrifice as much as them, but that doesn't mean he is unworthy. Heck, I most of the people whom I consider as heroes never wore a uniform in their life.

Jinn · 11-15-2006, 12:06 PM

He's not a hero. And I don't support the troops.

He's a good human being, however.

I give a soldier the exact same credit as someone who works at a soup kitchen, works as a volunteer, or does anything else for free. Granted, soldiers don't work for free, but they do something more dangerous than a soup kitchen worker.

I "honor" soldiers by treating exactly the same as another good human being. With respect, trust, and honesty. Soldiers don't automatically deserve "hero" status, nor should I blindly 'support' them, despite the protestations of some.

I hate the argument that soldiers are somehow special because they're "protecting my freedom." Whooopdee-do. Teachers protect our freedoms too by educating people and freeing them from ignorance, but I don't see them called heroes or people expecting me to "support the teachers."

Read Cyn's signature, and add "soldier" to the list. You're either an asshole or you're not. I don't care if you've got fatigues and a gun. Thank you, but don't expect me to give you any more respect than other useful humans.

/dons his suit

kurty[B] · 11-15-2006, 12:12 PM

Sorry, I didn't read the article yet, but I was a contractor out in Iraq. When I tell people that they often thank me for my service. I tell them not to thank me, but thank those who served in the military, or are serving. If you really want to show your support, send them care packages, or write your state senators and reps that you would like for enlisted military personnell to receive pay increases.

As far as being labeled a hero. The military personnell and contractors who live on base, well, they are certainly no heroes, but do not be afraid to thank them for their service. It's the ones who leave the wire on a regular basis knowing that at any moment a road-side bomb could take out their vehicle that are the heroes. Either way, I still feel awkward when people thank me for my "service", but I appreciate it. So, don't hold back thanking a service member because someone complains about feeling awkward. It's still tough to be thousands of miles away from home, family and friends.

KellyC · 11-15-2006, 12:28 PM

I agree that some soldiers can be assholes as well and you certainly read/hear a good amount of them from the media. But soldiers do a lot more than teachers or (insert person/job). They put their lives on the line fighting for a noble cause and they can't just quit when they don't feel like fighting any more in a way that teachers can. That is not to say that teachers don't deserve praise, they do, but I don't put them on the same level as soldiers when comparing the jobs/things they do and the problems they face.

xepherys · 11-15-2006, 01:53 PM

This is a topic of interest to me, and here is my input.

I feel a bit akward when people walk up and thank me when i am in uniform. I have yet to serve overseas, though that will change here shortly. I know men who went to Basic Training with me that are now home with purple hearts and shrapnel permanently embedded within them, physically and emotionally. THOSE people are heroes. But then, everyone views heroes differently. Those that are heroes to me probably don't think of themselves that way either. A hero should be modest enough NOT to consider themselves as such.

As a soldier, there is a warrior ethos that binds you strongly. Those that make the ultimate sacrifice in combat are always OUR heroes, because it's just that. They sacrificed every bit of their being for those of us who live on to tell the tale. In that way, it's hard to look at myself and think that anyone could look up to me... I'm just a man doing my job. At the same time, I feel a sense of pride in what I do, so I don't let it make me feel "guilty" either.

Through basic training, the memory of my grandfather got me through each and every day. He was a cavalry officer stationed in the Philippines. Though he passed before I really ever talked to him much about it, I will always be proud of his service during WWII. In much the same was as above, I find those men and women who served in WWII to be much more heroic than those of us serving today. There isn't much hand-to-hand combat, shooting people when you see the whites of their eyes. There's distance killing, mortars, air strikes... items with such precision that it hardly makes a ground-pounder like me feel worthy of any praise when I think of men sotrming the beach at Normandy, fighting in the hedgerows or any other fabled portion of WWII.

Maybe that didn't clear anything up for anyone, but it's just what's in my head.

Xera · 11-15-2006, 08:18 PM

A hero is the person that actually does what we all know we should.

Sultana · 11-16-2006, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KellyC

I agree that some soldiers can be assholes as well and you certainly read/hear a good amount of them from the media. But soldiers do a lot more than teachers or (insert person/job). They put their lives on the line fighting for a noble cause and they can't just quit when they don't feel like fighting any more in a way that teachers can. That is not to say that teachers don't deserve praise, they do, but I don't put them on the same level as soldiers when comparing the jobs/things they do and the problems they face.

I agree 100%.

11-15-2006, 11:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	I am a soldier, but not a hero Extraordinary acts of valor For a soldier, going to war is a duty. Heroes go much further. By Phillip Carter, PHILLIP CARTER, an attorney with McKenna Long & Aldridge, served in Iraq with the Army's 101st Airborne Division. November 11, 2006 COMING HOME from a combat zone is an alienating experience. America's deepening civil-military divide crystallized for me two weeks after I had returned from Iraq, while sitting at a Starbucks in the San Fernando Valley. I looked around the cafe and saw a dozen people ordering coffee, talking, reading and studying, while the baristas were busily serving drinks. All of a sudden, it hit me. Even though we are a nation at war, the war does not really seem to exist here in America. Frequently over the last two months, my friends have referred to me and other veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan as "heroes." This has disturbed me a great deal, forming another sort of alienation that is likely to become particularly acute this Veterans Day. American society venerates all soldiers as heroes, yet we in the military reserve that label for those who truly go above and beyond the call of duty. To us, the ordinary soldiers who merely served in harm's way, the label feels like a garish shirt — it neither describes us well nor fits us comfortably. During peacetime, I remember wondering how I would perform under fire for the first time. I vividly recall my first raid in Iraq, when my team hit its first improvised explosive device, thanking God and my training that I did not wet my pants in fear. We stand in awe of those who, at the moment of truth, can muster the moral and physical courage to stand above the rest by rushing to a wounded comrade or into a hostile building. Heroic legends, from the stories of Homer to the modern-day medal citations in Iraq, are passed on from sergeants to privates, captains to lieutenants. We mark these men and women with ribbons and medals to reward their heroism, but also to establish these warriors as role models whose example might encourage the rest of us soldiers. Civilian society venerates its heroes too, often for similar reasons. Who can forget the example of the firefighters and police officers who rushed into the burning World Trade Center on Sept. 11? But in today's society, the mere act of volunteering for military service has somehow mutated into a heroic act. Less than 1% of our country wears a military uniform; fewer still have served in Iraq or Afghanistan. Instead of being seen as a duty that should be borne by all, military service has been transformed into an elective chosen by the few. Today, with America at war, the burden of service is heavy, but it is not wide. Small military communities such as Oceanside, Calif.; and Clarksville, Tenn., feel the human cost of this war, but they are unusual in America. And so we lavish praise on those who make this decision, regardless of whether their choice is owed to personal patriotism, ambition or a quest for opportunity. Soldiers and civilians also share a different moral code, something highlighted by those different definitions of heroism. Soldiers exist for their team; they will do anything for love of their brothers and sisters in uniform. Civilians, by contrast, live for themselves. Americans have become the quintessential rational actors of economic lore — pursuing their self-interest above all else, seeking enrichment and gratification. To be sure, Americans engage in a great deal of altruism, and this is to be praised too. But the sporadic acts of selfless service performed by civilians cannot compare to the life of service chosen by our military personnel. So when civilians approach us in airports and cafes to thank us for our service, it frequently causes some degree of discomfort and alienation. Although grateful for the warm reception, many of us don't know how to respond. Our service means a great deal to us. We will never forget the sacrifices, hardships or experiences we had in combat, nor will we ever forget those with whom we served. But I have never felt that such service merits praise, and certainly not the label of heroism. I judge myself by the code of a warrior. That ethos demands selfless service, not aggrandizement. It praises the team, not the individual. And it saves its highest accolades for those who distinguish themselves through extraordinary acts of valor. As veterans, we know the real heroes among us; many of them did not come home. Awarding this distinction to everyone cheapens the accomplishments of those who earned it — and makes the rest of us feel guilty that we have somehow stolen recognition from the worthy. On this Veterans Day, many Americans will pause for a moment to think of service to the nation and of those who have worn the uniform on their behalf. At a time when such a small fraction of our country serves, it may be just one of two days a year (the other being Memorial Day) when this occurs in any meaningful way. But when you talk to us, or about us, this Veterans Day, please don't call us heroes. Save that label for those warriors who truly deserve it. I was just doing my duty. -------------------------------------- Sorry, I don't have the link, I got it from another forum and the poster didn't give the link either. It's a few days after Veterans' Day but I hardly think it would be too late discuss and appreciate the men and women who serve our country since, in my opinion, it should be a year-round kind of thing, not just on 11/11. Moving on... To the fellow TFPers who had served or is currently serving, can you relate to what this man said? I know that some veterans feel awkward when they have people coming up to them to thank them, probably because they're overwhelmed or it's so unexpected, but this man seems to feel guilty and a hint of resentment about being called a hero. So how should us civilians show our appreciation to you veterans without making you feel awkward? Regardless of what he said, I still think that he and others like him are heroes. Which begs the question: What is your criteria of being a hero? To me, a hero is some one who dedicates his/herself selflessly to a good cause. The writer seems to match the description pretty well so why shy from being called as such? Sure he doesn't do as much as those whom he venerates as the real heroes, or sacrifice as much as them, but that doesn't mean he is unworthy. Heck, I most of the people whom I consider as heroes never wore a uniform in their life. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

11-15-2006, 12:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	He's not a hero. And I don't support the troops. He's a good human being, however. I give a soldier the exact same credit as someone who works at a soup kitchen, works as a volunteer, or does anything else for free. Granted, soldiers don't work for free, but they do something more dangerous than a soup kitchen worker. I "honor" soldiers by treating exactly the same as another good human being. With respect, trust, and honesty. Soldiers don't automatically deserve "hero" status, nor should I blindly 'support' them, despite the protestations of some. I hate the argument that soldiers are somehow special because they're "protecting my freedom." Whooopdee-do. Teachers protect our freedoms too by educating people and freeing them from ignorance, but I don't see them called heroes or people expecting me to "support the teachers." Read Cyn's signature, and add "soldier" to the list. You're either an asshole or you're not. I don't care if you've got fatigues and a gun. Thank you, but don't expect me to give you any more respect than other useful humans. /dons his suit __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel Last edited by Jinn; 11-15-2006 at 12:10 PM..

11-15-2006, 12:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	I agree that some soldiers can be assholes as well and you certainly read/hear a good amount of them from the media. But soldiers do a lot more than teachers or (insert person/job). They put their lives on the line fighting for a noble cause and they can't just quit when they don't feel like fighting any more in a way that teachers can. That is not to say that teachers don't deserve praise, they do, but I don't put them on the same level as soldiers when comparing the jobs/things they do and the problems they face. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

11-15-2006, 01:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	This is a topic of interest to me, and here is my input. I feel a bit akward when people walk up and thank me when i am in uniform. I have yet to serve overseas, though that will change here shortly. I know men who went to Basic Training with me that are now home with purple hearts and shrapnel permanently embedded within them, physically and emotionally. THOSE people are heroes. But then, everyone views heroes differently. Those that are heroes to me probably don't think of themselves that way either. A hero should be modest enough NOT to consider themselves as such. As a soldier, there is a warrior ethos that binds you strongly. Those that make the ultimate sacrifice in combat are always OUR heroes, because it's just that. They sacrificed every bit of their being for those of us who live on to tell the tale. In that way, it's hard to look at myself and think that anyone could look up to me... I'm just a man doing my job. At the same time, I feel a sense of pride in what I do, so I don't let it make me feel "guilty" either. Through basic training, the memory of my grandfather got me through each and every day. He was a cavalry officer stationed in the Philippines. Though he passed before I really ever talked to him much about it, I will always be proud of his service during WWII. In much the same was as above, I find those men and women who served in WWII to be much more heroic than those of us serving today. There isn't much hand-to-hand combat, shooting people when you see the whites of their eyes. There's distance killing, mortars, air strikes... items with such precision that it hardly makes a ground-pounder like me feel worthy of any praise when I think of men sotrming the beach at Normandy, fighting in the hedgerows or any other fabled portion of WWII. Maybe that didn't clear anything up for anyone, but it's just what's in my head. __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

11-15-2006, 08:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Xera Crazy	A hero is the person that actually does what we all know we should. __________________ ~~^~<@Xera @>~^~~ "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ~Erno Philips

11-15-2006, 12:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	Sorry, I didn't read the article yet, but I was a contractor out in Iraq. When I tell people that they often thank me for my service. I tell them not to thank me, but thank those who served in the military, or are serving. If you really want to show your support, send them care packages, or write your state senators and reps that you would like for enlisted military personnell to receive pay increases. As far as being labeled a hero. The military personnell and contractors who live on base, well, they are certainly no heroes, but do not be afraid to thank them for their service. It's the ones who leave the wire on a regular basis knowing that at any moment a road-side bomb could take out their vehicle that are the heroes. Either way, I still feel awkward when people thank me for my "service", but I appreciate it. So, don't hold back thanking a service member because someone complains about feeling awkward. It's still tough to be thousands of miles away from home, family and friends.