Sage

SO, thanks in large part to my husband, I am no longer an anxious person. I don't really worry anymore, and I'm rather happy-go-lucky.

However, this past Sunday I had something I was working on for my boss (on a Sunday, with no notice) which involved me making something that I didn't know how to do and feeling stressed the whole time. It really shook me up a lot- I mean, sobbing crying I was so stressed out. In the end, everything turned out fine, so I don't have to worry with it anymore.

Problem is, it's now Wednesday and I'm STILL feeling shaken up whenever I sit in front of my computer. (I work as a Web Designer so I'm working from home). I feel a little bit nervous and sick to my stomach whenever I check my e-mail. It's not a good feeling, and I'm having trouble shaking it. I know that my boss isn't going to request any more ridiculous stuff from me, and I know now that if he asks me to do something that I don't know how to do, I can say "I don't know how to do that" instead of "I'll figure out how to do that."

But still, I'm still feeling nervous... agitated, restless, and a tad paranoid. This is so unlike me, and I really, really hate it. I was hoping that someone could offer me up some advice about the best way to get over this isolated incident... please?

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Jinn

The most important part right now is to identify the REAL source of the anxiety. It's generalized at this point to "because of Sunday," but I believe it is something deeper. The reason it shakes you still is because its something that could happen again at any time. It pointed out a percieved "weakness" and you're afraid that the next time it happens you won't be able to recover.

Working as a Web Designer for a local newspaper I know your plight precisely. They publish on Tuesday night at 11 pm and I have to have the entire issue re-formatted and uploaded by Thursday morning. I'm at my other job and class until 5 pm on Wednesday, so I have about 8 hours to do 10 hours of work. Every damned time it comes around I get a little anxious.

So what is the source of your anxiety?

Afraid of overcommitting to something?
Afraid of not knowing something or your boss thinking you're stupid?
Afraid that the next time you won't have enough time?

My impression is that you feel "lucky" this time that you finished in time, and that next time might not be the same. If this is the case, then make any preparations you need to so that in the future you can tell your boss that you don't know how to do something, and that he'll have you to allow you some time to learn it. Employers cannot ever expect that their employees know everything. They hire you because you've got a base knowledge and you have the ability to learn new things, not that you're the Master of the Universe when it comes to Web Design.

We just had a presentation in the class I tutor by 3 gentleman from Boeing, and they said that their college degree was great, but using it in practice was entirely different. They said the first six months at Boeing they learned just as much as they did in four years at a University, and that they'd been hired because they had the ability to LEARN, not because they were amazing right out of school.

I think you just need to remember that (a) you shouldn't expect to know everything and (b) your boss doesn't expect you know everything either. Just make sure you give yourself the chance to let him or her know before it happens again, and you've got no reason to be anxious.

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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

Sage

JinnKai, you're a fabulous, fabulous man.... unless you're a woman, in which case you're a fabulous, fabulous woman...



You're exactly right as to the source of my anxiety. As the day progresses today I don't feel as anxious. I never thought about it the way you put it, however. Thanks

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Ch'i

I had a similar problem. Still do from time to time.

When I first started teaching Teakwondo it was a bit shaky. I was a little nervous, but as long as I had a game-plan I knew I'd be o.k.. The thing that would really trip me up was not knowing what I was going to do next. It was similar to a cascade chain reaction, where I would realize I didn't know what I was about to do, which made me nervous, and then I would realize that I'd been standing there thinking and looking uneasy in front of the class, ect. Bad line of thought . After that happened, the idea haunted me for quite some time.
I completely agree with JinnKai. Messing up, or not knowing how to do something, won't make people think you are inept. Its completely normal. We just tend to blow it out of proportion a little in our own minds. We are normally our own harshest critic.

Glad you're doing better

ARTelevision

"You are what you think about all day long."

-- Dr. Robert Schuller

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create evolution

clavus

If deep down inside you are afraid of looking foolish or incompetent, this fear may be causing your anxiety.

Here's a little secret. Unless you come out and admit it, most people asssume that you know what you are doing. Even if you make a huge mistake, people tend to give you the benefit of the doubt.

So if you are afraid of lookign bad, fear not. Be quiet and you probably look just fine.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

ratbastid

Here's a BIG secret: EVERYBODY feels this way. Human beings, by their very nature, are driven by a need to look good, or at least not to look bad.

It's a cosmic joke. You're so busy trying to look good and being afraid of everyone else, you've never noticed how hard they're trying to look good and being afraid of you! Everybody on the PLANET is completely terrified of you!