Academics Develop Formula for Perfect Butt - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Cervantes · 05-03-2006, 01:43 AM

This one really made me laugh, still not entirely sure if it should be posted in Humor or here..

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,191622,00.html

Quote:

Academics Develop Formula for Perfect Butt
Thursday, April 13, 2006
By Lukas I. Alpert

Think you've got a booty to rival Beyonce's? Now you can find out — with scientific certainty.

A team of British academics has developed a mathematical formula to determine just how perfect your posterior is.

"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," said Dr. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, who devised the formula for measuring one's moons.

And the Rosetta Stone of bootyliciousness is: (S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).

While it may look complicated, getting to the bottom of the formula is easy, Holmes insists.
First, a woman assesses her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:

* S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)

* C = circularity (rounder is better)

* B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)

* F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)

* T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)

Then calculate this:

* V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.

While everyone may aspire to cans of J.Lo or Jessica Simpson proportions, balance is key to achieving the perfect score of approximately 80.
"Slender thighs and hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly," Holmes said.
"Kylie [Minogue] would score amazingly well on sphericality and symmetry. Her bottom is perfect in those categories, more so than the likes of . . . Jennifer Lopez, who has a more curvy posterior," he said.
Interestingly, a poll of 2000 people across England found that while women sided with J. Lo's rump as the best, men preferred Minogue's.

But science really settles nothing, says booty expert Sir-Mix-A-Lot.
"They got to be juicy, round, with a little jiggle to it," the "Baby Got Back" rapper told The Post yesterday, laughing hysterically. "The bubbliness does matter."
But there's only one way to measure the most desirable derriere, he said.
"You know it when you see it," he said. "We could debate this all day."

One thing springs to my mind: Someone sure have a way too much time on their hands..

On another note, I feel this way of calculating it is not scientifical at all since the values fed into the equation depends on the judgement of the one setting them. Preference will always play a role and the same butt will get several different scores depending on who judges it.. I tend to agree with Sir-Mix-A-Lot, you know it when you se it, why bother with math?

Oh and they forgot how they calculated the hip to waist ratio... it could be as simple as dividing the circumference of the wait with the circumference of the hips (waist/hips).. what do you think?

CSflim · 05-03-2006, 05:01 AM

I'm guessing the formula is a prediction of the average rating a random sample of people would provide for a given butt, rather than a measure of "the objective truth" of the quality said butt.

EDIT: on re-reading the article, the values going into the equation arent even measurements. They are just subjective ratings that the women apply to themselves. Well, garbage in, garbage out.

The_Jazz · 05-03-2006, 05:07 AM

Just to blantantly rip off Fark: still no cure for cancer.

Jimellow · 05-03-2006, 05:08 AM

They got quotes from Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Awesome.

CSflim · 05-03-2006, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Just to blantantly rip off Fark: still no cure for cancer.

Well what science career path would you follow given a choice? Spend all day staring down microscopes looking at cells, or spend you time judging the quality of female asses?

Cervantes · 05-03-2006, 05:12 AM

I have to give it to CSflim, he makes a convincing argument..

Cynthetiq · 05-03-2006, 06:02 AM

This made the front page of the Daily News in NYC not too long ago, I kept forgetting to pick it up and post it.

It reminds me of the new cover of Baby Got Back.

it's in week I if you cannot get the above link to play right.

Toaster126 · 05-03-2006, 06:22 AM

This reminds me of the studies about the golden ratio and attractiveness being based a large part on symmetry... except those studies used actual math figures and wasn't shit.

The_Jazz · 05-03-2006, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSflim

Well what science career path would you follow given a choice? Spend all day staring down microscopes looking at cells, or spend you time judging the quality of female asses?

Given that my job requires me to visit strip clubs fairly regularly since I have a program for the liability coverage for all you idiots that try to touch the dancers and get beaten up, I've found the one profession that doesn't require a Phd to check out the chicas.

little_tippler · 05-03-2006, 06:53 AM

So, just for fun...my butt's a 59 (of course that's only according to me).

What's yours? lol

Redlemon · 05-03-2006, 07:40 AM

Scientifically, this doesn't even hold a candle to the classic A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown. Check out the diagram:

Adonis1782 · 05-03-2006, 09:00 AM

I agree with redlemon, I'm a breast man

stevie667 · 05-03-2006, 09:29 AM

This is the kind of stuff i want to do for a living!

damianjames · 05-03-2006, 12:26 PM

And I quote the great Dana Carvey who channeled George Michael when he said:

Quote:

Look at my butt! It's a perfect circle!

05-03-2006, 05:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	I'm guessing the formula is a prediction of the average rating a random sample of people would provide for a given butt, rather than a measure of "the objective truth" of the quality said butt. EDIT: on re-reading the article, the values going into the equation arent even measurements. They are just subjective ratings that the women apply to themselves. Well, garbage in, garbage out. __________________ Last edited by CSflim; 05-03-2006 at 05:04 AM..

05-03-2006, 05:07 AM	#3 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Just to blantantly rip off Fark: still no cure for cancer. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

05-03-2006, 05:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
Jimellow Junkie	They got quotes from Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Awesome. __________________ Desperation is no excuse for lowering one's standards.

05-03-2006, 05:12 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cervantes Psycho Location: Above you	I have to give it to CSflim, he makes a convincing argument.. __________________ - "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

05-03-2006, 06:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	This made the front page of the Daily News in NYC not too long ago, I kept forgetting to pick it up and post it. It reminds me of the new cover of Baby Got Back. it's in week I if you cannot get the above link to play right. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-03-2006, 06:22 AM	#8 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	This reminds me of the studies about the golden ratio and attractiveness being based a large part on symmetry... except those studies used actual math figures and wasn't shit. __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

05-03-2006, 06:53 AM	#10 (permalink)
little_tippler Leaning against the -Sun- Super Moderator Location: on the other side	So, just for fun...my butt's a 59 (of course that's only according to me). What's yours? lol __________________ Whether we write or speak or do but look We are ever unapparent. What we are Cannot be transfused into word or book. Our soul from us is infinitely far. However much we give our thoughts the will To be our soul and gesture it abroad, Our hearts are incommunicable still. In what we show ourselves we are ignored. The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged By any skill of thought or trick of seeming. Unto our very selves we are abridged When we would utter to our thought our being. We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams, And each to each other dreams of others' dreams. Fernando Pessoa, 1918

05-03-2006, 07:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Scientifically, this doesn't even hold a candle to the classic A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown. Check out the diagram: __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry. Last edited by Redlemon; 05-03-2006 at 09:32 AM.. Reason: spelling

05-03-2006, 09:00 AM	#12 (permalink)
Adonis1782 Upright Location: Chapel Hill, North Carolina	I agree with redlemon, I'm a breast man __________________ " yer damned if you do and yer damned if you don't " -Bart Simpson

05-03-2006, 09:29 AM	#13 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	This is the kind of stuff i want to do for a living! __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.