Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   General Discussion (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/)
-   -   Academics Develop Formula for Perfect Butt (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/104137-academics-develop-formula-perfect-butt.html)

Cervantes 05-03-2006 01:43 AM

Academics Develop Formula for Perfect Butt
 
This one really made me laugh, still not entirely sure if it should be posted in Humor or here..

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,191622,00.html

Quote:

Academics Develop Formula for Perfect Butt
Thursday, April 13, 2006
By Lukas I. Alpert


Think you've got a booty to rival Beyonce's? Now you can find out — with scientific certainty.

A team of British academics has developed a mathematical formula to determine just how perfect your posterior is.

"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," said Dr. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, who devised the formula for measuring one's moons.

And the Rosetta Stone of bootyliciousness is: (S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).

While it may look complicated, getting to the bottom of the formula is easy, Holmes insists.
First, a woman assesses her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:

* S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)

* C = circularity (rounder is better)

* B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)

* F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)

* T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)

Then calculate this:

* V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.

While everyone may aspire to cans of J.Lo or Jessica Simpson proportions, balance is key to achieving the perfect score of approximately 80.
"Slender thighs and hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly," Holmes said.
"Kylie [Minogue] would score amazingly well on sphericality and symmetry. Her bottom is perfect in those categories, more so than the likes of . . . Jennifer Lopez, who has a more curvy posterior," he said.
Interestingly, a poll of 2000 people across England found that while women sided with J. Lo's rump as the best, men preferred Minogue's.

But science really settles nothing, says booty expert Sir-Mix-A-Lot.
"They got to be juicy, round, with a little jiggle to it," the "Baby Got Back" rapper told The Post yesterday, laughing hysterically. "The bubbliness does matter."
But there's only one way to measure the most desirable derriere, he said.
"You know it when you see it," he said. "We could debate this all day."
One thing springs to my mind: Someone sure have a way too much time on their hands..

On another note, I feel this way of calculating it is not scientifical at all since the values fed into the equation depends on the judgement of the one setting them. Preference will always play a role and the same butt will get several different scores depending on who judges it.. I tend to agree with Sir-Mix-A-Lot, you know it when you se it, why bother with math?

Oh and they forgot how they calculated the hip to waist ratio... it could be as simple as dividing the circumference of the wait with the circumference of the hips (waist/hips).. what do you think?

CSflim 05-03-2006 05:01 AM

I'm guessing the formula is a prediction of the average rating a random sample of people would provide for a given butt, rather than a measure of "the objective truth" of the quality said butt.

EDIT: on re-reading the article, the values going into the equation arent even measurements. They are just subjective ratings that the women apply to themselves. Well, garbage in, garbage out.

The_Jazz 05-03-2006 05:07 AM

Just to blantantly rip off Fark: still no cure for cancer.

Jimellow 05-03-2006 05:08 AM

They got quotes from Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Awesome.

CSflim 05-03-2006 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Just to blantantly rip off Fark: still no cure for cancer.

Well what science career path would you follow given a choice? Spend all day staring down microscopes looking at cells, or spend you time judging the quality of female asses?

Cervantes 05-03-2006 05:12 AM

I have to give it to CSflim, he makes a convincing argument..

Cynthetiq 05-03-2006 06:02 AM

This made the front page of the Daily News in NYC not too long ago, I kept forgetting to pick it up and post it.

It reminds me of the new cover of Baby Got Back.

it's in week I if you cannot get the above link to play right.

Toaster126 05-03-2006 06:22 AM

This reminds me of the studies about the golden ratio and attractiveness being based a large part on symmetry... except those studies used actual math figures and wasn't shit. :)

The_Jazz 05-03-2006 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSflim
Well what science career path would you follow given a choice? Spend all day staring down microscopes looking at cells, or spend you time judging the quality of female asses?

Given that my job requires me to visit strip clubs fairly regularly since I have a program for the liability coverage for all you idiots that try to touch the dancers and get beaten up, I've found the one profession that doesn't require a Phd to check out the chicas. :thumbsup:

little_tippler 05-03-2006 06:53 AM

So, just for fun...my butt's a 59 (of course that's only according to me).

What's yours? lol :p

Redlemon 05-03-2006 07:40 AM

Scientifically, this doesn't even hold a candle to the classic A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown. Check out the diagram:
http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/5813/image0040wo.gif

Adonis1782 05-03-2006 09:00 AM

I agree with redlemon, I'm a breast man

stevie667 05-03-2006 09:29 AM

This is the kind of stuff i want to do for a living!

damianjames 05-03-2006 12:26 PM

And I quote the great Dana Carvey who channeled George Michael when he said:

Quote:

Look at my butt! It's a perfect circle!


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 06:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360