Control Your #$%^ing Language!
 

There's something I've been noticing alot lately. People curse at the most inappropriate times. For example, Today someone spit out "God Damnit" when they left something in their car at the church's Easter dinner. Ok, I curse alot but I've never cursed in church, in front of my parents, or anywhere that might offend someone. To me it's disrespectful. My parents don't curse(much) so I'm not going to curse in their home, My priest doesn't curse so I'm not going to curse around him. It's simple. Am I the only one that actually knows what I'm saying before I actually say it? I just don't understand it, When I'm somewhere that cussing/cursing is looked down on, the words just leave my vocabulary. I'm not going to say them out of suprise or anger, and I'm definitely not going to say them in my regular conversations.

Anyone have any thoughts or opinions about this? Are you the one cursing at inappropriate moments? Does it bother you when other people do it? Even if you curse alot yourself? Seriously, What's going through your head when you're about to curse in a church? Do you think half way through about where you are but it's too late, or do you even care?

I think that cursing should be used only when it's needed. If you cuss in the church parking lot, ok, that's fine, if you start going off on a tirade in front of the priest you may need some help.

I'd be suprised if people didn't conciously understand where and when their language was appropriate or wasn't appropriate with the people around them. Of all the people I've met, they've all had a pretty good grasp on what was okay and not okay to say around the people that were around them. Most didn't drop the f-bomb in front of their parents. Generally those people knew when it was okay and when it wasn't okay to walk around saying "Fuck this, Fuck that."

I don't curse at inappropriate times. In general I try not to curse because I think for the most part it's inappropriate; obviously there are times when some one can let off a bit of foul language, but I think in everyday conversation saying fuck this and fuck that is pretty much inappropriate. If you are constantly walking around talking like that, you probably need a dictionary to add some words to your vocabulary.

When people curse just on a whim when it's not necessary, it bothers me. I had a friend who would walk around with me cussing to her heart's content and that was always something I thought was slightly inaproppriate.

I guess ultimately theres's a time and a place, and you should respect that. People who don't respect that always bother me.

Ever consider that there are some people who don't really give a fuck if someone decides to be offended by their language?

No offense meant, but there are always at least two sides to each coin. You abstain from swearing because you believe it will offend people, and I similarly chose not to care if someone is so close-minded that they'd judge me based on my use of expletives or lack thereof. I have large vocabulary, and it'd be ridiculous to use "fuck" or "shit" as an integral part of every sentence, but frankly I couldn't give a damn if someone is going to be offended by my use of a word that THEY decided was offensive. I further think that labelling some words as taboo and not others is capricious and arbitrary at best.

A perfect example; I decide that using "person" when referring to someone is offensive to me. Would you honestly expect the people around me to stop using "person" because I've decided it's offensive? The words' stereotyped roles as offensive words only exists because societal tools continue to be offended by their use. If everyone stopped being "offended" by fuck, it'd probably fall out of common usage.

what the fuck are you talking about!?

I curse too much, or should I say, more than I think I should, however have no objection to it. I just keep noticing that the word wasn't nessacery. If every second word is fuck, it loses it's meaning.

To quote Billy Conally, "There's no such thing as bad language, only bad use of good language".

I do make an effort not to curse where I deem it inappropriate... But hell, I'm 20 and in college, 95% of my time, it doesnt matter, and those words are in my vocabulary. And as they dont offend me, I don't care that they are there.

Once it gets to that point... Well you would be surprised how often one of those favorite phrases just slips out before you consciously notice. Afterwards there is usually a brief moment of regret, but then... Well, move the fuck on.

EDIT: And by the way, just because I curse semi-often, does not mean I lack other vocabulary. There is a right word for every situation, and sometimes that word is just "Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker [or] Tits"

I've never understood the reasoning behind curse words. I mean... what makes any one word different than another? Who decided that Fuck was worse than sex? I think words are just simply words. I don't understand how people try to argue that it's the context that makes a difference. I mean if it's in how you say something, then I can call you a "Tree!" while I'm angry and it should then be a curse word .. right?? :confused:

As far as being respectful, I'll be respectful towards my 'rents and a few other people, but they also give that same respect back and just ignore my "devlish" vocabulary if I do say some "curse" words.

I cuss all the time.

But not around people that find it offensive. Then again, they are just words like guccilvr said. No biggy, everyone uses them, and to be *not offended* by curse words.. is a good thing (?)

If someone tells me to "Fuck off" right in the face, I don't really give a shit. I'm not offended and will just laugh it off. Guess more tolerance to foul language gives you a lighter temper. :lol:

Some people have self control while others do not.

Some people care about others. Some do not care.

I personally choose to exercise a little self control for the sake of others. Besides I think people who swear regularly and without self control tend to appear a little less intelligent in my eyes at least. I'm not sure how they appear to others but that's my view of them.

Personally, I curse a lot, but it's mainly limited to work where it's part of the office culture. At home, my language is a lot cleaner although there is a certain amount of "leakage". It's not that my wife doesn't curse, but she's not as creative about it or frequent as I am. When I'm out with friends, especially an all-male crowd, I'll get diaherra of the mouth pretty fast.

That all said, here in the office our receptionist is one of the nicest people in the world and really just a kind and gentle soul. She's also a very invovled Seventh Day Adventist and doesn't curse at all and doesn't really like it when we curse around her. Some of my colleague don't make any effort at all around her, but she's such a nice person, that I try to control my mouth. My point is that I'll control myself when someone I know and like is offended by it. Or if there are kids involved.

I use foul language in different situations and refuse to in others.

Some examples... as a musician, socializing with them language like this often is used as adjectives "that guy is a motherfucker" said by a jazz musician is a complament and all other Jazz musicians know this to be true, Badass, The Shit, or other things in front of it, for example 'Trane was a Goddamn Motherfucker' is a very high praise. Still, some are offended if they were brought up say in an ultra-conservative home. If that's the case and someone claims discomfort I will tone it down but I refuse to not express myself for the sake of someone's lifestyle that maybe I am offended by. I try to meet half way. I have a friend who is Mormon, and is a sweet man but does not like cursing around him. What to do in this situation, all I can hope for is to tone it down. He doesnt' thumb a bible in front of me... so I won't call him a Motherfucker. Seems to work.

The world is strange right now. Children learn the language now way faster then I did when I was growing up in terms of slang and in fact invent their own know that older generations don't understand. Video games, television, internet, movies all have gotten leaner on language and parents just seem to not care. I've known kids to call their mothers Bitches to their face and to be honest that's unacceptable to me. On the other hand, the adult world is far to concerned with being PC all the time. It's an interesting cross culture

That being said, breaking Commandments like saying "Ah god damn it, or Jesus Christ" in a church or Church parking lot would make me uncomfortable.

I do not swear in front of women I do not know, or in front of my Mother, or most other lady relatives (exception of my sister).

I use to cuss profoundly but lately it has really gone down to minimal without any real explanation for it.

I don't like to walk down the street and just hear someone going off with 'fuck this' and 'faggot that'. But it's their choice to be mad or colourful with language and as long as there are no children who am I to judge.

There are also some words that I find just outright offensive and never use them, except to inform people I hate them and most of them are demeaning to women or sexual preference ie, Faggot, Cunt.

The cultural view on swearing has changed as of late, and I'm as guilty as anyone.

This is a situation where I blame T.V., it has made it acceptable, from shows like South Park, to the Sopranos, to countless others. When you get constantly exposed to something you pick up on it language wise.

Perhaps...it's not so much about trying not to offend other people as it is simply showing respect.
And like it or not, you will always be judged on how you speak, how you dress, and how you generally present yourself. To view that process as "close-minded' is a bit naive, in my opinion.

We already did this: Tilted Forum Project - Words of the feather, words of the sword....

And, if anyone wants to discuss this further, I'd bet that there is a significant correlation between "people who think profanity is acceptable at anytime" and age.

And a similar correlation between age and unncessary offense.

Don't worry Jinn, you will get over it in time.

I am most bothered when people swear around my kids. If you're in public and there are kids around, show a little restraint. Some people clearly don't care as they swear around their own kids, so there is nothing to be done about them, but otherwise, can it.

Buuuuuuurrrn..

Hopefully I don't become so old that everything people say has to offend me. In an ideal world, people would learn that taking offense at other's actions is nothing more than a waste of time. What intrinsic value does it have?

If I say something blatantly offensive, you can choose whether to take offense or whether to ignore it. My personal belief is that the mature person ignores it, and the immature person takes offense. Further extending this idea, I can assume that if I say something offensive and am in mature company, that I should not have to worry about causing true offense. Am I missing something?

For example:

If I know that saying cunt offends you, and I say it; would it not be silly to actually BE offended by it? It affords me a control over you that you shouldn't be allowing me to have, especially sice I don't have your best interests in mind, attempting to offend you. By ignoring it, you pacify my attempt to offend, and it becomes useless. My argument would further continue that most people understand this, and disregard the opinions of those they find to be offensive. The next logical conclusion is that I should only worry about offending if I'm afraid the offended person will then ignore me in the future.

And thus I return to my original idea; if someone is going to take the close-minded approach and ignore me(yes, it is still close-minded, regardless of its prevalence) then I really don't care if they ignore me, and similarly dont care if I offend.

Yea when I applied to dental school, I told them it would be fucking cool if I could be a dentist, and being open minded they accepted me right then.

Then like when someone needs I tooth out I say 'Woah man that tooth is all fucked up, we need to pull that shit out!' and they know they can trust me.

JinnKai, little buddy, its all part of growing up, you seem smart so I think you will learn. Now if you excuse me I have to write a letter to some fucking bitch MD who is whining about some shit and I have to write the cunt a fucking letter, which is a waste of my fucking time, since I already explained it to the bitch on the phone.

It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with priorities. Giving people the right to say whatever the fuck they want will always be more important to me than catering to a minority who choses to be offended by what they say. If I had my way the FCC would not exist, nor any organization who strove to censor the most fundamental of my rights. My father is 60 years old and is the strongest believer in this that I have ever met, so I can tell you right now that it has nothing to do with my age.

By telling people what they can and cannot say, you're pushing YOUR morals and what YOU think is offensive on other people.

correct, you never know when you are making a first impression...

Words may just be words, but one should remember, The toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

You decide for yourself what's acceptable... I'm just make a simple suggestion that a first impression is important. If swearing was so important to you, why don't you say when meeting an interviewer for the first time, "Well, Shit howdy! Glad to fuckin' meet you. I've been wanting this fucking job for so long because I need the fucking money so god damn fucking bad, you know fucking bills and all."

Thought so.

I find it difficult to have any respect for a person that will cuss in front of children "just because they can"

You want to cuss in front of me? fine no problem, but you do it in front of my child then you've got one pissed off mother fucking momma on your hands

Because they will be offended, and in this case, I do fear them ignoring me? That caveat was in my post, you'll note.

Everyone makes exceptions to their language when they have something to gain or they fear that the reciever will ignore of think less of them. I never encouraged anyone to ignore this basic fact of human sociology, only that (in respose to the OP's question) some of us don't give a fuck the rest of the time. His decision of when it is "inappropriate" to swear and when it is not is based on his own politically correct interpretation of the world. Frankly, I don't see a problem with saying God Damnit in a church parking lot, and I really don't care that someone would be offended if I did. They're likely not the kind of person I would associate with, anyway.

Further, the OP implied that those of us who speak frankly are "unaware of what we say before we say it," which is patently false. I often know that what I'm saying will offend someone, but I don't give a fuck. They obviously aren't bringing anything politically progressive to the table if they're so concerned about my use of "whore."

They're just words! Stop letting people control you with their verbiage. I swear no one understands anymore that offense is a CHOICE.

OK hold the fuckin phone.


So.. to people who have an issue with cursing in front of kids... how can you take issue with your children hearing those words yet you don't take offense to using them yourselves?? That doesn't make any sense at all. Besides, you can shelter them all you want, but let me assure you they will find and hear it and probably use it in other places that you aren't in.

How can I take issue? Very easlily, I dont cuss in front of my child....I dont really cuss all that much anyway because I can usually find a more intelligent way to get my point across....pain is an exception...sometimes the only thing you can say when you hurt is a cuss word.

I dont expect my child to live in a vacuum, I know she hears it elsewhere, but its MY example, and what I allow people around both me and her to do that is important.

I also fail to see how not cursing is somehow more intelligent. ...


I understand wanting your children to be a certain way or whatever, but if you curse at all then I don't see how anyone could possibly get mad at anyone else for doing the same thing.

simple, its called not having respect for the behaviour I deem acceptable around my child. I would never cuss in front of someone elses child whether their parents do it or not. Just because YOU fail to see it, doesnt make my decision any less right for me and the raising of my daughter.....same as I fail to see how you can think its an ok thing to do to break a law in front of kids (ie not wearing your seatbelt).

Its prob just a difference of how we were raised. If you're a person that cannot accept that I dont find it acceptable and choose to do it anyway, thats your perogative, but dont expect me to stay quiet about it when it happens.

For the same reasons its not acceptable for my wife to give me a BJ in public. Circumstances change everything.

I should clarify the only reason I brought the seatbelt thing up is because thats one thing I've seen lately that you were talking about that I dont agree with, NOT because Im trying to be a bitch and attack you gucci!!!

Neither of you explained how INTELLIGENCE is related. I know a bajizillion words that I could use in place of fuck shit ass bitch balls cunt whore, but my choice of one over the other is not indicative of my intelligence, no matter how you choose to define the word.

If you don't have something that I need, your choice to be offended by my language automatically removes you from my list of things to give a damn about.

But it is quite indicative of your class and level of maturity.

You don't have to like it, just know its true, and if you don't mind being labeled as low class then don't worry about it.

Based on that then you are clearly stating that you are selfish and only care about your own concerns.

I tend to be more offended by the perceived intention of a word more than by the word itself. I've been called "Woman" in a very degrading way, and I've been called "cunt" in a light-hearted, joking way.

Of *course* everyone's perception of appropriate vs. inappropriate is Based On Their Perception. That's why it's called perception. It's relative, and there's no way around it.

JinnKai, it seems that your view of cursing and appropriateness and other related points is based on your idea that you can cuss where ever, when ever, and you are strong enough deal with the consequences.
My view is that I can put other people's feelings before my own (to a reasonable point, of course. And *I* decide what is reasonable), and not cuss, because I am strong enough to have the right to, and yet refrain, for no tangible payback. Kinda like Superman as Clark Kent--He knows he's strong enough to kick anyone's @$$ to next week, and yet he's strong enough (and gentle and humble enough) to refrain.

Vocabulary in and of itself does not equate to intelligence....how you use it does (In my opinion anyway)

I never said it was "any less right". I'm just trying to understand the reasoning behind these things.

I cannot fathom how any one word holds less or more value than another. Sure, I understand the whole "circumstances" thing and how certain people perceive someone who curses alot to be "low class", (although I find that highly myoptc). It's the same thing as someone perceiving people with tattoos to be low class or a gay person or woman to be lower than the average "normal" male. It's something that just shouldn't matter.

As far as the whole "maturity" and "low class" thing goes, what defines class and maturity?? I think it's all dependant on the person spouting the retort. Everyone has their own view of class. Hell around here, a new hitch for your mobile home is high class.. to me.. it's trash, but it proves my point.

I swear all the time, but i've been trying to clean it up. So far i've been using frak and hamsters in replace of the two most common swear words, i tried with using antidisestablishfuckyouism, but that didn't work.

I've been called worse things. In my book, however, denigrating someone because they use language you find offensive is just as selfish as ignoring those who chose who be overly sensitive.

No where in ANY post I've made denigrates anyone.

I've just held up the mirror to show you where *YOU* do pick and choose how you speak in front of people, which you clearly stated that you didn't care to nor wanted to. Just because you have something to gain shouldn't be the only reason you are respectful to another person, otherwise, why should anyone ever respect you? or me for that matter?

Wow... lots of emotional turmoil in here. Let's not forget we're not here to attack each other, hmm? So let's leave the personal stuff alone, shall we?

Here's me:

1. People must be able to speak their mind, in the way they see fit. No one should ever be prevented from speaking simply because you disagree.
2. People must, however, accept the consequences of their words- whether you're making racist comments, challenging someone to a fight, slandering someone, or simply using vulgar language.
3. The consequences of your words are determined by who hears them, not by you. If someone chooses to be offended by your words, no amount of your refusal to care will make them less offended. If their offense doesn't bother you, then that's that. So when you speak in a setting where you know you might offend, don't act shocked when they complain. See my #1 regarding their complaints.

So the bottom line is- if you want to curse and believe that everyone else should grow a thicker skin and stop letting a "label" like "curse word" get them riled up, you go right ahead... but then don't act surprised when your right to speak is mirrored in their right to complain about it. Likewise, if you lack discretion when it's necessary- say in a professional setting- you must accept the weight your words carry, regardless of your personal feelings.

I curse with some regularity. It depends on who i'm with, and what i'm doing. But in a professional setting, the vulgarities stay tucked away.

And I don't curse in front of kids for the following reason: Until they're old enough to understand what, exactly, those words mean, and the weight they carry, I don't feel comfortable with exposing them to words they don't know how and why to use. Now- if it was a child I was responsible for, I'd be teaching him/her the words myself, in order that they understand exactly what they mean, and when those words are less than appropriate- and why.

If more parents took a step into a place I like to call "reality", and realized that their kids are going to hear those words anyway, they'd properly educate them ahead of time. Or when they're 8 years old and hear someone say, "fuck that," they don't go to school and say "fuck that" to the teacher when asked to read from the book (and yeah, an 8 year old said that to me). My point is NOT that you should be teaching children vulgarities at the age of 8- but there's no way the parents didn't know the kid talked like that, and they should have curbed that behavior with the proper education- because then, I had an entire ROOM FULL of 8 year olds (about 30 of them) who were now exposed to it.

It's really just about respecting the person/people youre around. I don't cuss infront of my dad as he only cusses when he's severly angered (in flashes, like banging a hammer on his finger) but my mom on the other hand...she cusses like a salior so no big deal. It's the same thing with technical jargon, when I'm talking with laymen (as in a novice in the field in question) I don't use psychological terms, some of my "higher" vocab I've gotten from reading, or gaming terms. It's all about relating positively with the people you are with.