billege

Orginal Text.

More than anything else, I just want to express that this made me sad.

The last thing I want to do is argue with anyone that if this guy should or should not be on the 'ped.

I think the human spirit suffers a tiny bit from each thing like this. That's all.


BTW: I call BS on the CB interfering with phone service. Call the FCC and prove that, because I don't think so. Haters...

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maleficent

I agree it's sad... but the questions I would have...

Why can't he get a moped liscence?

If he was able to use a CB, would he not be able to use the internet and interact with people in that manner?

Also.. the sister in law's attitude irritates me to some degree... It's like she's looking for other people to provide a need that she sees... Why doesnt she try to do something rather than waiting for it to come to her.... or rather her brother in law - -I don't know this woman _ i don't know the entire story... but I've seen the type before -it's easier to just sit and bitch about a situation than try to be a force for something good to happen... maybe she's taking the first step by using the media... but ...

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raeanna74

What about one of those mobility chairs? Couldn't he ride one of those?? Is the moped the only means of transportation he's got?? Can he not walk?

It is sad - I wish there was a way for this 'boy' to get out and enjoy his friends and neighbors without being bothered by things he may not fully comprehend.

It is true that it is partly the church's responsibility to offer help for people who are in need, such as this. BUT it's each individual's responsibility as well and the government is made up of individuals. Refusing help from the government while waiting for some church to step up isn't the way to do it. Also the sister-in-law seemed to be complaining that no church offered a program to help. Is she helpless?? She could join a church, if she hasn't already, take the inititive to start a program and recruit help from the church.

Yes he needs help. Letting him ride his moped without a liscence isn't the only way. Why couldn't he GET a liscence?? If he knows enough to start and drive his moped then why couldn't he take the test with reading assistence?? If he can't then he's taking a chance of getting hurt or causing someone else to get hurt. Not the answer.

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Daoust

What about calling him 'retarded'. That term has been politically incorrect, and socially insenstive for many years now...

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Charlatan

Now with pictures...

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barenakedladies

actually retarded is the proper name isnt it?

It was just overly used by kids as an adjective synonym to dumb... kinda like "gay" i.e. this video game is gay.

however the fact still stands that retarded is a proper term. can we stop for 1 minute in the country worrying about not offending something or wondering if something is or isnt offensive. you will never win. you will ALWAYS offend someone, because some people just arent happy unless they are bitching.

I can easily call the amish "horsefuckers" on here because why? they dont look at the internet. (now i know ill get a bunch of people telling me about different sects of amish, many of whom use modern technology... it was a joke people. much like the bomb on mohammeds head... its a joke. RELAX, settle the fuck down, and stop worrying about words said, pictures drawn, and text written. live your life and stop worrying about not offending someone else... you'll a much happier person.

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ObieX

If we were to stop using words that offend people we would have a very limited vocabulary. Limited to "the" and "a" and those wouldn't last long either.

I can see him having trouble with a written test if he is that mentally retarded. He should give it a try, though. He should be able to ride well enough to pass a test riding it, he would only need to pass the written part by 1 point. If he keeps trying eventually he would probably get it. Even if he has the mental capacity of a young child the questions on the written test aren't anything a person of that mental capacity can't handle (or atleast remember enough temporarily to pass... he would only need to know the answers long enough to pass the test)

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ObieX

Snazzy ride.

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Sweetpea

No, it's not, at all. In fact, it's very out of date and no therapists or professionals use it.

Instead, we call our clients, Developmentally Disabled. that is the pc term at this current time and has been for some years.


sweetpea

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Poppinjay

That must have been Charlatan's last ride before they took it away.

So sad. The little guy seems to get so much enjoyment out of it.

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Carno

LOL


Also, what's wrong with the word retarded?

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ShaniFaye

I agree, his family should be calling the scooter store

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skier

Absolutley nothing. It's just a label, which represents a portion of the population that has developmental disabilities. The problem is that the general public's meaning behind that label is more derogatory towards these people than psychologists would like, so they stick on a new label with a positive connotation and it stays for a while until it's widely accepted as the new definition and the public reverts the meaning to the one it's always been.

The most progressive move i've seen to "combat" this sort of thing is by using additive terms "a person with _______" say for instance " a person with schizophrenia", and avoiding negative adjectives like "suffering". It's seperates the person from the disorder/disability and so discourages people making personal attributions based on the disability talk about.

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Ace_O_Spades

Retarded has always just been the derogatory schoolyard word for being developmentally disabled.

Like calling a homosexual a fag. Or calling a little person a midget (they DO get angry).

Notice the only definition that refers to mental deficit is prefaced by "Often Offensive"

My dad got kicked out of his first highschool for constantly fighting off people who were tormenting his "retarded" sister, my aunt. We were NEVER allowed to use the word... It's always been a faux pas.

And for those who say it's just a label and means nothing... Go to a handicapped person and call them retarded to their face and see if they, or their caretakers, think it's Kosher.

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Feh.

Cynthetiq

FWIW an improperly mounted CB radio antenna will bleed all over the place from telephones to bare speakers, drive through headsets and even someone's car stereo that isn't even on.

Sorry, rules states that he has to be licensed. Period. If it's fair for him to be unlicensed then it's fair for EVERYONE else to also be unlicensed.

as for communication with others via CB radio, he can of course still have a home base station at home if he wishes to still be on the air.

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World's King

People are too damn sensitive.


It's not like they called the guy a 'tard. They said he was menatlly retarded. Which is okay. Cause that's exactly what he is. It makes more sense than 'developmentally disabled.' That's too broad of a term.

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Sweetpea

You obviously have never been next to a 'developmentally disabled' individual when someone calls them mentally retarded... it's a slap in the face to them and these individuals find it hurtful, that's all i was saying...

i don't go out of my way to hurt ppl, so if using a broad term makes my clients more comfortable... then i'm gonna use it.

sweetpea

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World's King

Okay... here's the deal.


About 20 years ago it was okay to call someone mentally retarded. Somewhere, someone decided that term was hurtful. Told everyone it was hurtful. Now everything thinks it's hurtful. And we can't say it anymore.


Explain to me why it's hurtful. What is it about that word that's so bad?

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

The_Jazz

Thank you doctor. Excellent diagnosis. Can I see your medical license again?

If I call you a jackass because that's exactly what you are, promise not to take offense? Or are you too damn sensitive too?

By the way, "'tard" is just a term used by people who are too damn lazy or too damn stupid to use the whole word, retarded.

Sweetpea

WK, i see where you are coming from,
and yes, it used to be okay to use retarded.. and i know that developmentally disabled will be a negative term in the future probably because it too will develop a negative connotation.

Why is anything hurtful? got me, who the fucks knows.

I'm just playing by the rules, I just know that it bothers my clients, so i don't use the term and encourage others not to.

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Cynthetiq

right! when the word gets marginalized it will too become hurtful...

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krwlz

I also dont see the big deal with mentally retarded. In a very specific sense, it is accurate. That reaction is learned, and instilled by political correctness.

If you think I'm a jack ass and want to call me that? Go right the fuck ahead, I'm just going to laugh at you anyway.

The purpose behind the statement means 1000000 times what the words do.

Charlatan

Is it instilled by "political correctness" or by the people who used the term in a derrogative sense in the first place?

At one time nigger wasn't a word with racist overtones. It simply meant a black person. That changed. It's the amazing thing about language... it changes over time. Don't get so hung up on the fact that definitions shift.

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Sultana

And the motivation behind the statement means as much as well.

You are being informed, gently and non-judgementally, that that is a term that brings Real Pain to Real People. What you choose to do with that knowledge is up to you, and yes, I will make judgements on your (and others') character(s) accordingly.

And if it's negative (i.e., fit's within the parameters I would classify as jack ass), I will likely politely keep it to myself, because to do otherwise would be rude, and could possibly cause you pain, and *I* wouldn't want to do that.

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The_Jazz

You're much nicer than I am. And aparently smarter too, for getting the point across much better than I did.

meembo

I'm right with sweetpea -- I think "developmentally disabled" is a very good and respectful term for people who didn't develop mentally and physically as most of the world did. It's respectful to individuals, their families, the professionals who work for them, and there is no pejorative connotation attached. I also like the Real Pain to Real People priniciple that Sultana is talking about.

I managed three residential group homes for adults with developmental diabilities in the 90's.

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Cynthetiq

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cyrnel

It starts with respect, or the lack thereof. I would find it hurtful to have people conversing about my status without including me in the conversation, whatever the terminology. Retarded, disabled, challenged, it doesn't matter. Sure, it might be worse (or not) if they're intentionally abusive, but the overriding concern would be that some level of respect is shown. I don't care if you're a doctor, counselor, family, or curious onlooker. Include the patient, client, relative, or whatever their role to you. You may talk in the nicest tones, be fully up-to-date with your pc vocabulary, but the moment you drop "he's developmentally disabled" I'm on the short bus. The note above about using "a person with ..." is the best alternative I've seen here but is still third person. Putting aside name-calling and taught pc worries, the meaning and respect behind the words is what's important, and what eventually ends up changing their meanings through misuse.

Try it on yourself. Put yourself in the position of being helpless in one way or another and having people around you talking about your status using your own best Sunday vocabulary. PC is second. Treating it as a solution unto itself is a backwards approach.

Edit: I deleted something I shouldn't have. My theory is that PC is how people stop feeling guilty about the lack of respect they've shown or felt earlier in life, or that which they know exists in casual society. Many times we don't confront these attitudes/prejudices until someone close is affected. Maybe we just want to call out how different the actual situation is from the stereotypes. Connotations shift with time so perhaps "new and improved" is useful. Most of all, PC makes family and friends comfortable, with a side effect of reminding people to be polite. The patient has larger worries.

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cyrnel

As for the guy and his moped, he should be pushed to do what he's able and what he enjoys. As mentioned, that's up to family and friends. Nobody enjoys a loss of freedom, so with the loss of the two hobbies mentioned I hope something's going on behind the scenes besides whining and media contacts.

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There are a vast number of people who are uninformed and heavily propagandized, but fundamentally decent. The propaganda that inundates them is effective when unchallenged, but much of it goes only skin deep. If they can be brought to raise questions and apply their decent instincts and basic intelligence, many people quickly escape the confines of the doctrinal system and are willing to do something to help others who are really suffering and oppressed." -Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media, p. 195

Charlatan

As others have mentioned above, this is the answer to his problem:


If he can't legally get a license for the moped, he doesn't need one for one of these.

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- Old Man Luedecke

highthief

Maybe the "developmentally challenged" will start using the word "retard" like some black people use "nigger" or "nigga". It'll a word that gets reclaimed and used proudly.

Someone should start a trend...

Anyway, he should try and pass the test, first and foremost. They often make exceptions for people who don't speak English, so maybe he can give it a go?

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raeanna74

I am kindof surprised that if he is able to putter around on his moped for this long that he couldn't get a licence. I would be surprised if the DMV cannot provide someone to read the test to him if he cannot read it himself. Driving does not require a lot of reading, just a few simple words. Otherwise there's also a bicycle or motorized scooters, or a number of other things to carry him around. How big can his neighborhood be?

Had to add a note with regards to the PC conversation as well. I don't see why one couldn't use the term "LEARNING disabled" if they wanted to use a more specific term than 'developmentally disabled.' As 'learning disabled' is a sub-catagory of those who are mostly physically able to function but not mentally able to learn as well. I usually use the disabled terms instead of the retarded 'because retarded' more or less implies to me an inability to learn at all while 'disabled' to me indicates a difficulty to overcome. I think the term disabled is simply more accurate.

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ShaniFaye

what about a golf cart, do you have to have a license for one of those?

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Psycho Dad

Shani, if I recall, only Florida and Arizona allow golf carts on some public roads with a license. So if he is one of those two states, he is in the same boat.

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raeanna74

I believe he's in Alabama. It was originally in a Birmingham Newspaper.

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maleficent

a moped, in my definition, is really just a motorized bicycle, they don't go fast, you can pedal them if you need to... When i was kid, some of the neighborhood spoileder kids had them... and at age 13 you needed a l iscence to ride one on the roads... they also didn't go very fast... which m ade them safer for kids... If a 13 year old can take and pass a test - -surely this guy can...

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billege

Thx Cyn.

So far as the term goes, *most* people won't use "retarded" to describe someone. If you choose to, or not, is entirely up to you. I'm not saying either way is better. It's the intention behind it so far as I'm concerned.

My father-in-law's brother is metally disabled. Leonard (my father in law) calls Marvin "retarded." Let me assure you, there's nothing but tenderness in Leonard's voice when he uses that term.

So far as the professional field goes, my wonderful wife manages a team of direct-care providers for people with developmental and mental disabilities. They generally do not use the term "retarded."

To address the correctness of the term: The DSM-IV uses it to describe degrees of mental retardation.

Mild, Moderate, Severe, and Profound mental retardation *are* the correct terms for the condition. Using them or not is up to you.

Link to text.

To address what the sister in law should or should not do:
It is typical (and I'm not saying you're evil if you said it) for those on the outside to suggest the family do more, etc.

However, very few people can relate to the experiance of providing assistance to a mentally retarded individual. It is easily all-consuming, exausting, mentally and emotionally draining.

This is where "It takes a village" rings very true. No man is an island, and no family should be made to be one either.

My thought? It's sad he can't ride his scooter anymore. I wish he could.

__________________
I can sum up the clash of religion in one sentence:
"My Invisible Friend is better than your Invisible Friend."

maleficent

Eh - maybe-- my world- we take care of our own...

However, in the village scenario - unless the person in the situation says something - and asks for help -- how are others supposed to know...

There was a book written years ago, about apartheid -- called the power of one.... there was a line in the book that I will never forget -- about how a waterfall begins with a single drop of water... Who cares who that single drop of water is-- it could be the sister in law -a nd other people would follow suit - but to sit back and just wait and say this and that should happen is wrong... Be proactive...

It's sad he can't ride is moped - but it's also scary that he was riding it illegally... There are alternatives...

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analog

This shit is developmentally disabled.

I'm waiting for the day when we can't call people assholes, but "positive attitude impaired" or call the crazy bible-thumpers "secularly challenged".

It sucks he can't ride his moped- but there's a reason they require a permit to drive. The tests for the permit exist to prove (to some degree) the mental capability to handle the instrument. I don't care if he's been burnin' up the asphalt (sorry, pavement, asphalt sounds like it has the word ASS in it, and we can't have that) for nigh on 40 years, he's not allowed to. The first time he hits a car, even as accidental as anyone could have an accident, there will be a nightmare. He might die, the family will sue, the OTHER people might be hurt, THEY'LL (rightfully) sue because he's not supposed to be on the road, it's a huge deal.

So, yeah, find him a church group or a Rascal (those little motorized chairs), and let the man be at peace again. A large part of anyone's feelings is the way those they look to are feeling... kids get upset if mom or dad are upset, and these poor folks often look on for the same kind of reassurance. I hope her negativity doesn't filter down to him. What I find odd, though, is her insistence that the government not help, but that churches are somehow required to provide this type of public service. Sure, they do a lot, but are they properly trained to handle these special needs? Most churches don't have a lot of money as it is, so I hope she's planning on volunteering her time to get others to follow suit.

raeanna74

As far as I understood it the sister-in-law did not want to accept government support and expected a CHURCH to step in. While that is fine when the help is there if this man's support group choose to refuse government help then the burden is more on their shoulders to find the help that they DO approve of. "Debra Milton said the responsibility to meet the needs of the mentally retarded should rest with churches and not the government. "The government doesn't owe us anything; this is something we owe to God." "

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.