I'm Comic Sans, Asshole - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Plan9 · 06-21-2010, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comic Sans

Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

Timothy Sweeney

Baraka_Guru · 06-21-2010, 12:04 PM

All that's missing is, "If you was from where I was from...you'd be fucking dead!"

snowy · 06-21-2010, 12:32 PM

This is great.

I admit I had many of these thoughts every time my curriculum professor would hand out something. She LOVED Comic Sans. Ugh.

Martian · 06-21-2010, 01:04 PM

Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh.

Baraka_Guru · 06-21-2010, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh.

Boink!

I saw what you did there!

Plan9 · 06-21-2010, 01:24 PM

Motherbitches don't know nothing 'bout me.

Martian · 06-21-2010, 01:37 PM

Fuck yo' Comic Sans.

ring · 06-21-2010, 01:40 PM

Did anyone read this thread title as:
"I'm comic, sans asshole?"

I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.

Plan9 · 06-21-2010, 01:54 PM

Martian,

We can't play this game if you are incapable of recognizing Courier New.

Your pal,

Plan9

noodle · 06-21-2010, 02:09 PM

Verdana kicks all your collective asses, suckas.

Baraka_Guru · 06-21-2010, 02:26 PM

Oh, guys, by the way: Helvetica called; she wants you to stop printing that copycat bitch Arial.

Martian · 06-21-2010, 02:41 PM

I recognize Courier New. Courier New is not the enemy. Comic Sans is.

Lindy · 06-21-2010, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring

Did anyone read this thread title as:
"I'm comic, sans asshole?"

I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.

Yeah, I did.
Q: Why does the comedian spew shit from his mouth?
A: Because he's a comic sans asshole.

Lindy

Plan9 · 06-21-2010, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martian

i recognize courier new. Courier new is not the enemy. comic sans is.

Don't you get all Ransom on me, young man.

Lindy · 06-21-2010, 03:24 PM

Slightly off topic, but people discover the Tilted Forum Project in a lot of different ways. A font search was what led me to TFP. Six or seven years ago I was Googling for a headline font called Forum Title.
LTC Forum Title? font family MyFonts
My fumble fingers led me to Tilted Forum instead.

Lindy

Plan9 · 06-21-2010, 03:29 PM

Apparently most people these days seem to find TFP doing searches for bizarre how-to shit or crazy sex questions.

Charlatan · 06-21-2010, 03:41 PM

I will be over here drinking my high priced latte and listening to Deerhoof on my iPhone. Let me know when you are finished kicking sand in comic sans face so I can blog about it.

06-21-2010, 12:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	All that's missing is, "If you was from where I was from...you'd be fucking dead!" __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

06-21-2010, 12:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	This is great. I admit I had many of these thoughts every time my curriculum professor would hand out something. She LOVED Comic Sans. Ugh. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

06-21-2010, 01:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

06-21-2010, 01:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Motherbitches don't know nothing 'bout me. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

06-21-2010, 01:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Fuck yo' Comic Sans. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

06-21-2010, 01:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
ring ░ Location: ❤	Did anyone read this thread title as: "I'm comic, sans asshole?" I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.

06-21-2010, 01:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Martian, We can't play this game if you are incapable of recognizing Courier New. Your pal, Plan9 __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

06-21-2010, 02:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	Oh, guys, by the way: Helvetica called; she wants you to stop printing that copycat bitch Arial. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

06-21-2010, 02:41 PM	#12 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	I recognize Courier New. Courier New is not the enemy. Comic Sans is. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

06-21-2010, 03:24 PM	#15 (permalink)
Lindy Junkie	Slightly off topic, but people discover the Tilted Forum Project in a lot of different ways. A font search was what led me to TFP. Six or seven years ago I was Googling for a headline font called Forum Title. LTC Forum Title? font family MyFonts My fumble fingers led me to Tilted Forum instead. Lindy

06-21-2010, 03:29 PM	#16 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Apparently most people these days seem to find TFP doing searches for bizarre how-to shit or crazy sex questions. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

06-21-2010, 03:41 PM	#17 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I will be over here drinking my high priced latte and listening to Deerhoof on my iPhone. Let me know when you are finished kicking sand in comic sans face so I can blog about it. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke