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- - I'm Comic Sans, Asshole (https://thetfp.com/tfp/found-net/154890-im-comic-sans-asshole.html)

I'm Comic Sans, Asshole

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comic Sans

Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

Timothy Sweeney

All that's missing is, "If you was from where I was from...you'd be fucking dead!"

:lol: This is great.

I admit I had many of these thoughts every time my curriculum professor would hand out something. She LOVED Comic Sans. Ugh.

Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian (Post 2800281)

Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh.

Boink!

I saw what you did there!

Motherbitches don't know nothing 'bout me.

Fuck yo' Comic Sans.

Did anyone read this thread title as:
"I'm comic, sans asshole?"

I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.

Martian,

We can't play this game if you are incapable of recognizing Courier New.

Your pal,

Plan9

Verdana kicks all your collective asses, suckas.

Oh, guys, by the way: Helvetica called; she wants you to stop printing that copycat bitch Arial.

I recognize Courier New. Courier New is not the enemy. Comic Sans is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring (Post 2800291)

Did anyone read this thread title as:
"I'm comic, sans asshole?"

I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.

Yeah, I did.
Q: Why does the comedian spew shit from his mouth?
A: Because he's a comic sans asshole.

Lindy

Quote:

Originally Posted by martian (Post 2800299)

i recognize courier new. Courier new is not the enemy. comic sans is.

Don't you get all Ransom on me, young man.

Slightly off topic, but people discover the Tilted Forum Project in a lot of different ways. A font search was what led me to TFP. Six or seven years ago I was Googling for a headline font called Forum Title.
LTC Forum Title? font family MyFonts
My fumble fingers led me to Tilted Forum instead.:)

Lindy

Apparently most people these days seem to find TFP doing searches for bizarre how-to shit or crazy sex questions.

I will be over here drinking my high priced latte and listening to Deerhoof on my iPhone. Let me know when you are finished kicking sand in comic sans face so I can blog about it.