Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Found On The Net


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-21-2010, 12:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
I'm Comic Sans, Asshole

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comic Sans
Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

Timothy Sweeney
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 12:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
Baraka_Guru's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
All that's missing is, "If you was from where I was from...you'd be fucking dead!"
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
Baraka_Guru is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 12:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
Kick Ass Kunoichi
 
snowy's Avatar
 
Location: Oregon
This is great.

I admit I had many of these thoughts every time my curriculum professor would hand out something. She LOVED Comic Sans. Ugh.
__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
snowy is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:14 PM   #5 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
Baraka_Guru's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martian View Post
Pfft. Comic Sans is for soccer moms and kindergarten teachers and that one overweight lady in every office with too much make-up and a horrifyingly shrill laugh.
Boink!

I saw what you did there!
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
Baraka_Guru is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Motherbitches don't know nothing 'bout me.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Fuck yo' Comic Sans.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
ring's Avatar
 
Location: ❤
Did anyone read this thread title as:
"I'm comic, sans asshole?"

I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.
ring is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 01:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Martian,

We can't play this game if you are incapable of recognizing Courier New.

Your pal,

Plan9
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 02:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
Une petite chou
 
noodle's Avatar
 
Location: With All Your Base
Verdana kicks all your collective asses, suckas.
__________________
Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both. House

Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9
Just realize that you're armed with smart but heavily outnumbered.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand
noodle is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 02:26 PM   #11 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
Baraka_Guru's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
Oh, guys, by the way: Helvetica called; she wants you to stop printing that copycat bitch Arial.
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot
Baraka_Guru is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 02:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
Young Crumudgeon
 
Martian's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
I recognize Courier New. Courier New is not the enemy. Comic Sans is.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
Martian is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 02:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ring View Post
Did anyone read this thread title as:
"I'm comic, sans asshole?"

I thought this was another smooth-spot issue.
Yeah, I did.
Q: Why does the comedian spew shit from his mouth?
A: Because he's a comic sans asshole.

Lindy
Lindy is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 03:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by martian View Post
i recognize courier new. Courier new is not the enemy. comic sans is.
Don't you get all Ransom on me, young man.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 03:24 PM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Slightly off topic, but people discover the Tilted Forum Project in a lot of different ways. A font search was what led me to TFP. Six or seven years ago I was Googling for a headline font called Forum Title.
LTC Forum Title? font family MyFonts
My fumble fingers led me to Tilted Forum instead.

Lindy
Lindy is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 03:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
Plan9's Avatar
 
Apparently most people these days seem to find TFP doing searches for bizarre how-to shit or crazy sex questions.
__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."
Plan9 is offline  
Old 06-21-2010, 03:41 PM   #17 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
I will be over here drinking my high priced latte and listening to Deerhoof on my iPhone. Let me know when you are finished kicking sand in comic sans face so I can blog about it.
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
 

Tags
asshole, comic, sans

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:34 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360