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-   -   Extramarital sex causes earthquakes (https://thetfp.com/tfp/found-net/154118-extramarital-sex-causes-earthquakes.html)

loquitur 04-18-2010 07:41 AM

Extramarital sex causes earthquakes
 
.... or at least it causes earthquakes in Iran, anyway.

Quote:

A SENIOR Iranian cleric has claimed that dolled-up women incite extramarital sex, causing more earthquakes in Iran, a country that straddles several fault lines, newspapers reported today.

"Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.

"Calamities are the result of people's deeds," he was quoted as saying by reformist Aftab-e Yazd newspaper.

"We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

The Islamic dress code is mandatory in Iran, which has been under clerical rule for more than three decades.

Every post-pubescent woman regardless of her religion or nationality must cover her hair and bodily contours in public. Offenders face punishment and fine.

But this has not stopped urban women from appearing in the streets wearing tight coats and flimsy headscarves and layers of skilfully applied makeup.

Iran is prone to frequent quakes, many of which have been devastating.

The worst in recent times hit the southern city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people - about a quarter of the population - and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

Baraka_Guru 04-18-2010 07:45 AM

It's a good thing that men are essentially off the hook about it. That'd be one heck of a burden.

I wonder what the gays are causing.

dlish 04-18-2010 07:52 AM

i think the gay community caused the massive asteriod a few days ago ...lemme just call my ayotollah and check..

blahblah454 04-18-2010 07:55 AM

Wow those selfish people, all they think about are themselves.

loquitur 04-18-2010 09:07 AM

actually, if you do your sex correctly, the earth should move. whether or not the sex is extramarital. Right?

ObieX 04-18-2010 09:23 AM

All the thrusting must be putting pressure on the fault lines. When thrusting while married God puts a magical aura around you preventing the seismic waves from destroying the earth.

Baraka_Guru 04-18-2010 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loquitur (Post 2778751)
actually, if you do your sex correctly, the earth should move. whether or not the sex is extramarital.

Or gay....

dlish 04-18-2010 09:28 AM


she used to make my nether regions move

Xerxys 04-18-2010 12:36 PM

Oh man, the people who publish this, how do they explain the US then????

Geez!

mixedmedia 04-18-2010 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loquitur (Post 2778751)
actually, if you do your sex correctly, the earth should move. whether or not the sex is extramarital. Right?

I was gonna say, I'm pretty sure this dolled up tart causes earthquakes with her premarital sexmaking. ;)

then again...

http://www.myotherdrive.com/dyn/file...maritalsex.jpg

genuinegirly 04-18-2010 04:28 PM

This is the most disturbing news story I've read in a long time. It has to be a joke.

SlowJoeCrow 04-18-2010 06:30 PM

I love how in-depth the article goes as to how the cleric believes sex causes earthquakes. Enlightening.

Baraka_Guru 04-18-2010 07:16 PM

Let's also not overlook the fact that this is also an assault on the important work of geologists/seismologists.

Xerxys 04-22-2010 01:08 PM

Quote:


Iranian cleric blames quakes on promiscuous women


http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...00303377-1.jpg More than 25,000 people died in the Bam quake

Women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes, an Iranian cleric says.
Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, the acting Friday prayer leader in Tehran, said women should stick to strict codes of modesty to protect themselves.
"Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," he explained.
Tens of thousands of people have died in Iran earthquakes in the last decade.
Mr Sediqi was delivering a televised sermon at the Tehran University campus mosque last Friday on the need for a "general repentance" by Iranians when he warned of a "prevalence of degeneracy".
"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes," he said.
'Disappoint God'
Correspondents say many young Iranians sometimes push the boundaries of how they can dress, showing hair under their headscarves or wearing tight-fitting clothes.
Mr Sediqi also described the violence following last year's disputed presidential election - the result of which prompted thousands of people to hold mass protests - as a "political earthquake".
"Now if a natural earthquake hits Tehran, no one will be able to confront such a calamity but God's power, only God's power. So lets not disappoint God."
More than 25,000 people died when a powerful earthquake hit the ancient city of Bam in 2003.
Seismologists have warned that the capital, Tehran, is situated on a large number of tectonic fault lines and could be hit by a devastating earthquake soon.
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said many of Tehran's 12 million inhabitants should relocate.
There are plans to build a purpose built new capital near Qom.


>>LINK<<

:expressionless:

Hektore 04-22-2010 03:55 PM

Just yesterday I saw one of me female friends was attending and event called "boobquake" on facebook. After doing some digging I found it leads back to THIS blog.

Quote:

In the name of science, I offer my boobs
This little bit of supernatural thinking has been floating around the blogosphere today:

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran's acting Friday prayer leader.

I have a modest proposal.

Sedighi claims that not dressing modestly causes earthquakes. If so, we should be able to test this claim scientifically. You all remember the homeopathy overdose?

Time for a Boobquake.

On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that's your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I'm sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn't rumble. And if we really get through to him, maybe it'll be one involving plate tectonics.

So, who's with me? I may be a D cup, but that will probably only produce a slight tremor on its own. If you'll be joining me on twitter, use the tag #boobquake! Or join the facebook event!
So, be careful on Monday! Stay out of tall buildings and rickety structures.


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