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Old 07-22-2009, 11:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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MacGyver Fail

You've got to be friggin' kidding me...

I get the feeling it's actually not a hoax.
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Old 07-22-2009, 11:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Holy shit That thing is a thousand bucks!!
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Old 07-22-2009, 11:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Dude... and imagine trying to actually use any of those tools. The damn handle is 6 times longer than the knife blade.
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Old 07-23-2009, 12:10 AM   #4 (permalink)
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A golf divot repair tool? Really? Is there something wrong with using your foot?
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Old 07-23-2009, 12:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
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It kind of ceases to be a "pocket knife" when you can no longer get it into your fricken pocket.





o World's largest pocket knife made in Switzerland and guaranteed for life
o Knife features an amazing 85 tools and over 100 uses
o Perfect for camping and the outdoors, but also perfect for just about everything else
Other features include:
o 2.5" 60 Serrated locking blade
o Nail file, nail cleaner
o Corkscrew
o Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
o Removable screwdriver bit adapter
o 2.5" blade for Official World Scout Knife
o Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers
o Removable screwdriver bit holder with three Phillips head and three flathead screwdriver bits
o Magnetized recessed bit holder
o Double-cut wood saw with ruler inch and centimeter
o Bike chain rivet setter
o Removable 5mm Allen wrench
o Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes
o 10mm hexagonal key for nuts
o Removable 4mm curved Allen wrench
o Removable 10mm hexagonal key
o Universal wrench
o 2.4" springless scissors with serrated self-sharpening design
o 1.65" Clip point utility blade
o Golf club face cleaner
o 2.4" Round tip blade
o Cap lifter
o Can opener
o Golf shoe spike wrench
o Golf divot repair tool
o Fine metal file
o Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
o 12/20-Guage choke tube tool
o Watch caseback opening tool
o Snap shackle
o Mineral crystal magnifier with
o Compass
o Telescopic pointer
o Fish scaler
o Hook disgorger
o Line guide
o Shortix laboratory key
o Micro tool holder
o Micro tool adapter
o Micro scraper straight
o Micro scraper curved
o End your search for the perfect White Elephant gift
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Old 07-23-2009, 02:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
Living in a Warmer Insanity
 
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Completely nonfunctional.

I like Victorinox and often carry-



But the "Wenger Giant 85-tool 141-function Swiss Army Knife" is worthless unless you're just looking for a $1200 conversation piece. In fact I find it ironic they use function in it's name.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:27 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Shortix laboratory key.....what's that?

xoxoxoo
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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It doesn't come with a Fleshlight. And they call it useful.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
zomgomgomgomgomgomg
 
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Location: Fauxenix, Azerona
And here I thought this was going to be the Tornado Punch gif
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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No, but that's 31 flavors of awesome right there.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
Delicious
 
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It'd be a great gag gift if it weren't so damn expensive.
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Old 07-23-2009, 08:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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$1300. You could buy like 32 normal Swiss Army knives for that price. THIRTY-TWO.
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Old 07-24-2009, 02:50 AM   #13 (permalink)
warrior bodhisattva
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin View Post
$1300. You could buy like 32 normal Swiss Army knives for that price. THIRTY-TWO.
Crompsin, don't be silly. What the hell would you do with 32 Swiss Army knives?
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Old 07-24-2009, 08:18 AM   #14 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
Crompsin, don't be silly. What the hell would you do with 32 Swiss Army knives?
That's easy, chief. Give them to my friends, relatives, acquaintances, keep one in every room in the apartment, vehicle, and pair of pants. That way I'd never need to look for one again, and could use it against said people when they need a tool. "I GAVE YOU ONE."
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Old 07-27-2009, 11:27 AM   #15 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
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Anything bigger than a Swisschamp is overkill. Anything less is being unprepared.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobby View Post
Shortix laboratory key.....what's that?

xoxoxoo
It's a precision glass cutter for use on fused silica tubing for gas chromatography. It's the one that looks like a red wheel, and if it's a real Shortix tool, it's worth over 1/4 of the cost of this thing.
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