Plan9

You've got to be friggin' kidding me...

I get the feeling it's actually not a hoax.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Xerxys

Holy shit That thing is a thousand bucks!!

Plan9

Dude... and imagine trying to actually use any of those tools. The damn handle is 6 times longer than the knife blade.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

CinnamonGirl

A golf divot repair tool? Really? Is there something wrong with using your foot?

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Charlatan

It kind of ceases to be a "pocket knife" when you can no longer get it into your fricken pocket.





o World's largest pocket knife made in Switzerland and guaranteed for life
o Knife features an amazing 85 tools and over 100 uses
o Perfect for camping and the outdoors, but also perfect for just about everything else
Other features include:
o 2.5" 60 Serrated locking blade
o Nail file, nail cleaner
o Corkscrew
o Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
o Removable screwdriver bit adapter
o 2.5" blade for Official World Scout Knife
o Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers
o Removable screwdriver bit holder with three Phillips head and three flathead screwdriver bits
o Magnetized recessed bit holder
o Double-cut wood saw with ruler inch and centimeter
o Bike chain rivet setter
o Removable 5mm Allen wrench
o Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes
o 10mm hexagonal key for nuts
o Removable 4mm curved Allen wrench
o Removable 10mm hexagonal key
o Universal wrench
o 2.4" springless scissors with serrated self-sharpening design
o 1.65" Clip point utility blade
o Golf club face cleaner
o 2.4" Round tip blade
o Cap lifter
o Can opener
o Golf shoe spike wrench
o Golf divot repair tool
o Fine metal file
o Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
o 12/20-Guage choke tube tool
o Watch caseback opening tool
o Snap shackle
o Mineral crystal magnifier with
o Compass
o Telescopic pointer
o Fish scaler
o Hook disgorger
o Line guide
o Shortix laboratory key
o Micro tool holder
o Micro tool adapter
o Micro scraper straight
o Micro scraper curved
o End your search for the perfect White Elephant gift

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Tully Mars

Completely nonfunctional.

I like Victorinox and often carry-



But the "Wenger Giant 85-tool 141-function Swiss Army Knife" is worthless unless you're just looking for a $1200 conversation piece. In fact I find it ironic they use function in it's name.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

bobby

Shortix laboratory key.....what's that?

xoxoxoo

__________________
"Life goes on,within you,and...with out you !" xoxoxoo

Plan9

It doesn't come with a Fleshlight. And they call it useful.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

telekinetic

And here I thought this was going to be the Tornado Punch gif

__________________
twisted no more

Plan9

No, but that's 31 flavors of awesome right there.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Reese

It'd be a great gag gift if it weren't so damn expensive.

__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

Plan9

$1300. You could buy like 32 normal Swiss Army knives for that price. THIRTY-TWO.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Crompsin, don't be silly. What the hell would you do with 32 Swiss Army knives?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

That's easy, chief. Give them to my friends, relatives, acquaintances, keep one in every room in the apartment, vehicle, and pair of pants. That way I'd never need to look for one again, and could use it against said people when they need a tool. "I GAVE YOU ONE."

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MSD

Anything bigger than a Swisschamp is overkill. Anything less is being unprepared.
It's a precision glass cutter for use on fused silica tubing for gas chromatography. It's the one that looks like a red wheel, and if it's a real Shortix tool, it's worth over 1/4 of the cost of this thing.