jack hammer as a dildo? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Craven Morehead · 05-13-2009, 05:29 PM

Wasn't sure where to put this.....

And I'm about to call bullshit on it.

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo decent community

Quote:

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Posted on May 5, 2009 by tubesteak

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostiution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

Plan9 · 05-13-2009, 08:13 PM

...and just wait 'til they find the modified mechanical bull in her basement.

bobby · 05-14-2009, 07:37 AM

air powered or electric ?.......WTF

xoxoxoo

settie · 05-14-2009, 08:14 AM

Buuuulllllllshit.

Sounds like absolute bullshite to me.

Redlemon · 05-14-2009, 11:25 AM

Fucking Machines? (nsfw)

ratbastid · 05-14-2009, 12:11 PM

Plus they don't know the difference between a dildo and a vibrator...

telekinetic · 05-14-2009, 12:44 PM

OK...everyone is picturing the business end here...the fact that she did it in the driveway means she was probably trying to hump the handle as she wrecked some concrete.

This simultaneously sounds way more plausible, and reminds me I haven't watched Benny Benassi's Satisfaction music vid in a while.

(Not particularly safe for work)

wooÐs · 06-01-2009, 06:28 AM

I always heard that one can build up a sort of tolerance due to overuse of vibrators. Apparently she's no exception.

Reese · 06-01-2009, 04:07 PM

That is umm... awesome? no that's not the word.. Sad.. yes, sad. I wish I could have been there to help her do it a little safer.

05-13-2009, 08:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	...and just wait 'til they find the modified mechanical bull in her basement. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

05-14-2009, 07:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
bobby Super Moderator Location: 18,000+ posts on TFP #1,2,3,4 and 5,but I'm not counting!	air powered or electric ?.......WTF xoxoxoo __________________ "Life goes on,within you,and...with out you !" xoxoxoo

05-14-2009, 11:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Fucking Machines? (nsfw) __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

05-14-2009, 12:44 PM	#7 (permalink)
telekinetic zomgomgomgomgomgomg Location: Fauxenix, Azerona	OK...everyone is picturing the business end here...the fact that she did it in the driveway means she was probably trying to hump the handle as she wrecked some concrete. This simultaneously sounds way more plausible, and reminds me I haven't watched Benny Benassi's Satisfaction music vid in a while. (Not particularly safe for work) __________________ twisted no more

06-01-2009, 04:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	That is umm... awesome? no that's not the word.. Sad.. yes, sad. I wish I could have been there to help her do it a little safer. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

05-14-2009, 08:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
settie Junkie	Buuuulllllllshit. Sounds like absolute bullshite to me.

05-14-2009, 12:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	Plus they don't know the difference between a dildo and a vibrator...

06-01-2009, 06:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
wooÐs Sitting in a tree Location: Atlanta	I always heard that one can build up a sort of tolerance due to overuse of vibrators. Apparently she's no exception.