Top 100 Quotes from Fundamentalist Chat Rooms - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

The_Jazz · 01-21-2008, 02:29 PM

I struggled over whether or not to post this, but in the end, I decided it was just too funny to go left unseen.

http://duggmirror.com/comedy/100_Gre...an_chat_rooms/

Quote:

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

Quote:

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

Quote:

[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]

This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god

if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state

Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like this

god tests every one of us

Now, let it be known that this is not a "bash Christianity" or "pile on the Christians" thread. We all know that there are some atheist morons, and that fundamentalists of all ilk can be very amusing ESPECIALLY WHEN TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT. So, if you decide to grind your anti-Christian axe in this thread, be prepared for me to jump on you with both feet and a tire iron.

That said, take a look at the mindset of some of these individuals.

Quote:

You got it backwards.

Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.

Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.

I am constantly amazed at the absolute positions taken on the internet.

genuinegirly · 01-21-2008, 02:35 PM

It makes me wonder if people are posting these sorts of ignorant comments to see how quickly people correct them. I have fundamentalist friends. They don't say stuff like this. I can understand how someone can feel anonymous and therefore post things they would not say in public. Still, I don't see how people can be this naive.

Quote:

Gravity: Doesn't exist... These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

This one messes with my mind.

Quote:

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son

[Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]

This one made me cry.

Hain · 01-21-2008, 02:46 PM

......

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A H H H H H H H H ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I'm scared.

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

[Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]
This one made me cry.

OK This shit can't be real.

Willravel · 01-21-2008, 02:50 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Oh my god, those are awesome. To be fair, there are only a few people in the world that monumentally stupid. Even someone atheist like me recognizes that most theists are intelligent and kind individuals.

Tully Mars · 01-21-2008, 02:53 PM

Every time I think we're making headway I read crap like this and realize the dark ages are just around the corner.

It's ok things will be easier once the earth is flat again.

Hain · 01-21-2008, 02:56 PM

http://www.freejesus.net/home/viewtopic.php?t=5423

Quote:

If you are serious about seeking information to help your son then you will research all sources including those that gay activists lie about. Heterosexuals commit suicide after and during counseling for their problems so to paint NARTH with a broad brush of failure based on lies promulgated by gay activists shows your sources of information are wrong.

Willravel · 01-21-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Augi

http://www.freejesus.net/home/viewtopic.php?t=5423

FreeJesus just got a new member.

Hain · 01-21-2008, 03:03 PM

Oh you'll love this Will:
"Middle-aged and elderly liberals are pretty much lost causes—the brain damage is probably irreversible (maybe neurosurgeons will come up with some kind of procedure for it, though)."

Honestly this thread there alone makes me seizure. It was comments like these from my family and other religious people that made me think, "What...?" I was 12! And they made me go, "What?!"

Quote:

Giving up any life dominating sin is not easy, ask any alcoholic (which according to medical science is not a chosen behavior).

Apparently being gay is not beyond a lifestyle choice. /shakes head violently/

Martian · 01-21-2008, 03:14 PM

Y'know, the site's called Free Jesus. I looked and I looked, but I couldn't find any way to claim my free Jesus anywhere.

I did, however, find this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeJeebus!

Fornication And Adultery is a Sin!

It doesn't seem to make any distinction between fornication in or out of wedlock. So if all fornication is a sin...

You know what? Never mind. It's like shooting whales in a bucket. Way too easy.

flstf · 01-21-2008, 03:26 PM

I read somewhere that in a recent political poll 60% said they do not believe in evolution. It is probably wrong depending on how they asked the question but if it is even in the ballpark I am amazed.

Hain · 01-21-2008, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flstf

I read somewhere that in a recent political poll 60% said they do not believe in evolution. It is probably wrong depending on how they asked the question but if it is even in the ballpark I am amazed.

Funny thing is these polls with be succeeded by stronger, better, more accurate polls.

Willravel · 01-21-2008, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Augi

Funny thing is these polls with be succeeded by stronger, better, more accurate polls.

And the weaker polls didn't reproduce as much, so their conclusions were lost over a few generations.

Hain · 01-21-2008, 03:30 PM

SO TRUE!

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

FreeJesus just got a new member.

I honestly am still laughing at that simple statement. I can perfectly imagine my good friend, the raging EMT Atheist, saying exactly that.

The_Jazz · 01-21-2008, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

And the weaker polls didn't reproduce as much, so their conclusions were lost over a few generations.

Sinner. That's evolution. Humor has no place in religion.

Quote:

Y'know, the site's called Free Jesus. I looked and I looked, but I couldn't find any way to claim my free Jesus anywhere.

No, no, no. It's all about getting Jesus out of prison. Sort of like "Free Hat" from Southpark.

pig · 01-21-2008, 07:09 PM

I don't know what to say about this posting...as an atheist, it's very tempting to post something condescending in response; however, it's really just a testament to human...well, maybe not stupidity, but ignorance. People living in bubbles. I'm afraid to actually follow the OP-link. I'm afraid it will just disparage me...it sounds like what happens when you cross stereotypical AOL chatrooms with any subject. In this case, the subject is by itself way to easy to criticize...dangerous...

Baraka_Guru · 01-21-2008, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

It doesn't seem to make any distinction between fornication in or out of wedlock. So if all fornication is a sin...

Actually, fornication is considered sexual intercourse out of wedlock. Sexual intercourse with your spouse makes God happy.

* * * * *

Interesting little tidbits. I try not to think much of this level of ignorance. It makes the good Christians look bad.

LoganSnake · 01-21-2008, 09:03 PM

I just lost 30 IQ points reading that.

HOLY SHIT, some people are beyond help.

Willravel · 01-21-2008, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

HOLY SHIT, some people are beyond help.

I refuse to believe that. Brainwashing can be undone. If Nazis after WWII can sincerely apologize to Jews, if whites from the generation preceding the boomers can apologize to blacks, and if My grand parents can apologize to the Japanese who were interned... there's always hope.

Martian · 01-22-2008, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

No, no, no. It's all about getting Jesus out of prison. Sort of like "Free Hat" from Southpark.

Somehow, I can't help but feel that this is appropriate:

Sion · 01-22-2008, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

Even someone atheist like me recognizes that most theists are intelligent...

no, most theists are just like any other people, regardless of their religious orientation: stupid and/or ignorant beyond belief.

allaboutmusic · 01-22-2008, 03:56 AM

No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other.
- Jascha Heifetz

Hain · 01-22-2008, 06:04 AM

They'll right this madness.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

I refuse to believe that. Brainwashing can be undone. If Nazis after WWII can sincerely apologize to Jews, if whites from the generation preceding the boomers can apologize to blacks, and if My grand parents can apologize to the Japanese who were interned... there's always hope.

Your faith in people never ceases to amaze me.

You should watch Jesus Camp, if you haven't already. The brainwashing begins at a very young age and to shake that foundation is near damn impossible unless the person actually wants to absorb new information. Especially after the mind has matured and cemented the information that was beaten into it.

Jinn · 01-22-2008, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Your faith in people never ceases to amaze me.

You should watch Jesus Camp, if you haven't already.

Aye.

Willravel · 01-22-2008, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Your faith in people never ceases to amaze me.

I'm taking this as a compliment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

You should watch Jesus Camp, if you haven't already. The brainwashing begins at a very young age and to shake that foundation is near damn impossible unless the person actually wants to absorb new information. Especially after the mind has matured and cemented the information that was beaten into it.

I have seen it, though I had to leave about 3/4 the way through. Someone who is brainwashed since birth is not incapable of breaking said brainwashing. I am living proof.

filtherton · 01-22-2008, 10:40 AM

My aunt-in-law to my infant nephew before his baptism, "Today we're going to get your name put in a very special book in heaven."

I was a bit taken aback. There's a fucking book? God can't just remember who got baptised?

The presiding pastor, "Some shit about the infant having lived in sin since conception (and thus implicitly being hellbound if he happened to die prior to his baptism)."

Apparently the two that were miscarried before him are in hell. I really wanted to raise my hand and be dismissively confrontational, but then i remembered that i wasn't in high school and would probably have to get along with my sister in law's family for a while so i just caught my mom's eye and we shared a disappointed shudder.

I don't object to theism in its most general sense, but i have yet to find more than a few actual representations of it that don't in some way make me want to vomit.

Willravel · 01-22-2008, 10:48 AM

Original sin means that aborted or miscarried children are in hell, yes. Also dogs or people that just never got around to getting baptized.

The insane part, though, is that one can baptize with any liquid in an emergency, and most church bodies accept it. Imagine baptizing a fetus with a Diet Coke that was still-born. That's vomit-worthy in my book.

Hain · 01-22-2008, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

The insane part, though, is that one can baptize with any liquid in an emergency, and most church bodies accept it. Imagine baptizing a fetus with a Diet Coke that was still-born. That's vomit-worthy in my book.

I bet you can get that with a side of fries, and serve it to the Irish.

There are many things in religion that make me sick, but I can't bash it. I feel there is something, I just doubt that it is anything we can comprehend.

Also, I never got along with most religious people's inability to step back from who they are and just think, "Maybe I am wrong." I do this all the time, and it makes me quite agreeable. I am right in my mind... but I can still be wrong, and I can accept that. They should too.

The_Jazz · 01-22-2008, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

INow, let it be known that this is not a "bash Christianity" or "pile on the Christians" thread. We all know that there are some atheist morons, and that fundamentalists of all ilk can be very amusing ESPECIALLY WHEN TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT. So, if you decide to grind your anti-Christian axe in this thread, be prepared for me to jump on you with both feet and a tire iron.

Ahem. Please don't make me put that in modscript. If you want to talk about experiences with individuals, that's fine. This is not the thread to discuss groups.

Hain · 01-22-2008, 12:11 PM

I actually went to many of those forums to figure out what they were saying in context. I was still unsettled.

They need to make a pill that temporarily makes you doubt everything you every believed to be true. But I would probably take too many of those pills.

Sticky · 01-22-2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Augi

I never got along with most religious people's inability to step back from who they are and just think, "Maybe I am wrong."

It sounds like the same can be said for almost anything, not just religious beliefs. You can see examples of this even here in TFP on the Political board (believe it).

SSJTWIZTA · 01-22-2008, 12:53 PM

woah! i'm rather speachless...it blows my mind that people could be this damn stupid.

...i have so much that i would like to say about this..but the words just arent coming.

i think my brain has just fizzled out.

Plan9 · 01-22-2008, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

Also dogs...

Wait, what?

I'll have you know that all dogs go to heaven.

Willravel · 01-22-2008, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

Wait, what?

I'll have you know that all dogs go to heaven.

According to the bible, animals don't have souls. According to Disney, mice can have adventures.

Hain · 01-22-2008, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

FreeJesus just got a new member.

Will, you're here! And I thought FreeJesus would consume all your internet time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

According to the bible, animals don't have souls. According to Disney, mice can have adventures.

Why must you ruin my world!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sticky

It sounds like the same can be said for almost anything, not just religious beliefs. You can see examples of this even here in TFP on the Political board (believe it).

That is why one sees a distinct lack of my opinions in that specific board.

inBOIL · 01-22-2008, 04:49 PM

How come we can't speak monkey?

albania · 01-22-2008, 06:08 PM

This one:

Quote:

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?
The Prince of Pain, GameTalk [Comments (341)] [2007-Jan-01]

And my favorite:

Quote:

To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.
Ia Orana, MSN Miss Manners [Comments (61)] [2008-Jan-01]

I must say though that I can't fathom people being as stupid as some of those quotes purport. It seems likely that at least some of those must be bullshit or written by detractors.

SecretMethod70 · 01-22-2008, 06:16 PM

Glad to see the site is still up and funny

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=117496

Tophat665 · 01-22-2008, 08:53 PM

I had to stop reading when I started to grant it enough validity to start framing arguments. Sorry, but this sort of thing is prima facie evidence that the people on this list and those who have expressed substantially similar opinions are not mentally competent in any legal sense of the word. Frankly, there were several items in there that were probably legally actionable (though I think that the laws that would have to be used are odious for any purpose.)

Do not misunderstand: I am not bashing Christians. These are not Christians. These are morons. Clinically.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flstf

I read somewhere that in a recent political poll 60% said they do not believe in evolution. It is probably wrong depending on how they asked the question but if it is even in the ballpark I am amazed.

Those Creationists
Did not evolve from monkeys
have a banana.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Augi

Funny thing is these polls with be succeeded by stronger, better, more accurate polls.

Brilliant!

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

I refuse to believe that. Brainwashing can be undone. If Nazis after WWII can sincerely apologize to Jews, if whites from the generation preceding the boomers can apologize to blacks, and if My grand parents can apologize to the Japanese who were interned... there's always hope.

Will, you say that as if an inability to integrate the evidence of one's senses with one's thought process were nothing more than a lifestyle choice. (See what I did there? Didn't it sound really stupid? I still think it's more effort than it's worth if it were possible.)

Willravel · 01-22-2008, 09:09 PM

I'm not suggesting to convert anyone. I answer people's questions. For some people, that's enough to get them into a more comfortable lifestyle (atheism or agnosticism). The only circumstance where I would actively undo the brainwashing demonstrated in Jesus Camp is if it were a close family member who was on a self destructive path as a direct result of said brainwashing.

Atheists don't actively convert people, at least none that I know.

01-21-2008, 02:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	Every time I think we're making headway I read crap like this and realize the dark ages are just around the corner. It's ok things will be easier once the earth is flat again. __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

01-21-2008, 07:09 PM	#15 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	I don't know what to say about this posting...as an atheist, it's very tempting to post something condescending in response; however, it's really just a testament to human...well, maybe not stupidity, but ignorance. People living in bubbles. I'm afraid to actually follow the OP-link. I'm afraid it will just disparage me...it sounds like what happens when you cross stereotypical AOL chatrooms with any subject. In this case, the subject is by itself way to easy to criticize...dangerous... __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

01-21-2008, 09:03 PM	#17 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	I just lost 30 IQ points reading that. HOLY SHIT, some people are beyond help. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

01-22-2008, 06:04 AM	#22 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	They'll right this madness. __________________ ////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\ Last edited by Hain; 01-22-2008 at 10:30 AM..

01-22-2008, 12:11 PM	#30 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	I actually went to many of those forums to figure out what they were saying in context. I was still unsettled. They need to make a pill that temporarily makes you doubt everything you every believed to be true. But I would probably take too many of those pills. __________________ ////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

01-21-2008, 02:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh my god, those are awesome. To be fair, there are only a few people in the world that monumentally stupid. Even someone atheist like me recognizes that most theists are intelligent and kind individuals.

01-21-2008, 03:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
flstf Easy Rider Location: Moscow on the Ohio	I read somewhere that in a recent political poll 60% said they do not believe in evolution. It is probably wrong depending on how they asked the question but if it is even in the ballpark I am amazed.

01-22-2008, 03:56 AM	#21 (permalink)
allaboutmusic Aurally Fixated	No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. - Jascha Heifetz

01-22-2008, 10:40 AM	#26 (permalink)
filtherton Junkie Location: In the land of ice and snow.	My aunt-in-law to my infant nephew before his baptism, "Today we're going to get your name put in a very special book in heaven." I was a bit taken aback. There's a fucking book? God can't just remember who got baptised? The presiding pastor, "Some shit about the infant having lived in sin since conception (and thus implicitly being hellbound if he happened to die prior to his baptism)." Apparently the two that were miscarried before him are in hell. I really wanted to raise my hand and be dismissively confrontational, but then i remembered that i wasn't in high school and would probably have to get along with my sister in law's family for a while so i just caught my mom's eye and we shared a disappointed shudder. I don't object to theism in its most general sense, but i have yet to find more than a few actual representations of it that don't in some way make me want to vomit.

01-22-2008, 10:48 AM	#27 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Original sin means that aborted or miscarried children are in hell, yes. Also dogs or people that just never got around to getting baptized. The insane part, though, is that one can baptize with any liquid in an emergency, and most church bodies accept it. Imagine baptizing a fetus with a Diet Coke that was still-born. That's vomit-worthy in my book.

01-22-2008, 12:53 PM	#32 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	woah! i'm rather speachless...it blows my mind that people could be this damn stupid. ...i have so much that i would like to say about this..but the words just arent coming. i think my brain has just fizzled out. __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

01-22-2008, 04:49 PM	#36 (permalink)
inBOIL I have eaten the slaw	How come we can't speak monkey? __________________ And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

01-22-2008, 06:16 PM	#38 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	Glad to see the site is still up and funny http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=117496 __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

01-22-2008, 09:09 PM	#40 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I'm not suggesting to convert anyone. I answer people's questions. For some people, that's enough to get them into a more comfortable lifestyle (atheism or agnosticism). The only circumstance where I would actively undo the brainwashing demonstrated in Jesus Camp is if it were a close family member who was on a self destructive path as a direct result of said brainwashing. Atheists don't actively convert people, at least none that I know.