03-18-2007, 02:58 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Location: Southern England
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I think Clavus is writing for Japanese papers
http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/waiwai...dm002000c.html
Quote:
Banker's bucolic bonk becomes odious ordeal
Uramono Japan (March)It doesn't take an elite education to land a job at a small regional bank. All it took a certain chap -- we'll call him Hiroshi -- was a degree from a third-rate University and a few personal connections. He got hitched to a sweet but homely lady and arranged for a 35-year mortgage. The couple produced two kids, and by the time Hiroshi was 30 he was living a lifestyle about as mundane and uneventful as anyone could expect.
But then stress began building up with his various job responsibilities, and it didn't help that the frequency of sex between him and his old lady began to taper off. Drastically.
Maybe, Uramono Japan (March) suggests, it was the sheer boredom of this existence that kindled a yearning for a little fun and excitement, just ONCE in his life. So Hiroshi began watching porno videos soon found himself dreaming about gnawing on some foxy lady's pubic rug. Eventually he was drawn to an encounter site on his cell phone network, and began trolling for female companionship.
The night of the incident in question occurred two years ago. Hiroshi's cell phone display flashed out abbreviated codes posted by a teenage girl in the business of "enjo kosai," offering short-term use of her body for 30,000 yen. Agreeing to her terms, Hiroshi set up a meet on December 4 at 7:00 pm, at Sakae, a well known watering area in Nagoya's Naka-ku.
Arriving for his rendezvous, he tapped out a message. "I've arrived." "Turn around," came the reply. And standing there on the street was a absolute knockout, with stunning features, coiffed hair dyed brown and a healthy tan.
"Did I keep you waiting?" he asks.
"Not really," she smiles, showing her pearly whites. "Is it okay if we go to a hotel I know?"
Hiroshi couldn't believe his good fortune. He shouldn't have. Rather than a roll in the hay he eagerly awaited, he was to get rolled instead.
Then, just as the amorous couple was about to enter their hotel room, three nasty juvies dressed in hip-hop fashion, accompanied by a dumpy looking female, pounced on him from out of nowhere, and while two held down Hiroshi's arms, a third restrained him with duct tape.
"I-i-is this a setup -- some sort of badger game?" Hiroshi stutters.
"Badgers? We don't know no steenking badgers," one hood replies. "All we're out to do is roll middle-aged guys like you and have some fun on the side. So let's party!!!"
The four toughs and the cutie (who was clearly involved in the caper) helped themselves to the supply of beer in the room's minibar and then passed around a white powder on a sheet of aluminum foil, which they took turns snorting into their nostrils.
To amuse themselves, they yanked down Hiroshi's trousers and took a lighter to his pubic hair.
Aroused by the drug, they took turns gangbanging his date, while he looked on. Watching them thrusting in and out of her crotch, he developed an erection in spite of himself.
"Oho! Look at that!" one cried, pointing at the offending member. To "punish" him, the hoods squeezed his testicles until he blacked out from the pain.
The dumpy girl had passed out from the drug and was barely moving. Could she be dying?
Just when it seemed things couldn't get any worse, the doorbell rang.
"Mister, what're you doing in there?" exclaimed a hotel employee. "Our guests in the other rooms are complaining! Open up! Let me in!"
As if he didn't have enough problems! Tabloid headlines glared before Hiroshi's eyes: "Bank employee charged with drug-related death while abetting teen prostitution!!"
Thinking quickly, Hiroshi stammered, "Look, I'm checking out now! I'll make it up to you -- you can double my room charges!"
That failed to persuade.
"If you don't open the door immediately, I'll summon the police!" came the response.
Hastily donning his clothes, Hiroshi -- who by this time had used the edge of a table to cut off the tape -- grabbed a towel and started wiping his fingerprints off all smooth surfaces.
As police sirens sounded off in the distance, the dumpy girl awakened from her drug-induced stupor and began bellowing at the top of her lungs.
With the employee pounding on the door and no other avenue of escape, Hiroshi launched himself out the room's tiny window toward the landing of the neighboring building and fled. Except for leaving behind all his money, plus a few scrapes and bumps, throbbing testicles and no public hair, he was none the worse for wear.
The story never made the newspapers, and finally, after two years, Hiroshi can once again sleep with his full weight on the mattress.
Uramono Japan ponders the percentages of a first enjo kosai tryst winding up as such a disaster. Pretty low, it figures. But then again, you never know. (By Masuo Kamiyama, People's Pick contributor)
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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