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I would answer your questions with one paragraph:
I don't "know", nor does anyone else, and no one ever will.
To know the answer you must have truth, and anyone claiming to have truth in regard to your questions is unfortunately, confused, or selling you something. Inside yourself are answers, and they are right for you, for now.The answers will cahnge as you grow, and will always be correct, for you.
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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha
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