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You will not get the synchronization you desire from a web browser, I really think that PHP is a bad way to implement the interface for your database.
Sounds like it's to late to switch, but it would be much easier to setup a client server system if you didn't have such a weak client (browser).
Your problem is that HTTP connections are
stateless. We get around that with sessions and cookies, but they don't provide the fine grained synchronization you require. The browser can close and the webserver won't know, The best you can do is timeouts.
As for forums, well... those "whose browsing" scripts are usually very inaccurate.
Do it in Java... JSP server engine, Full on swing client, it won't be as responsive client side as some other combinations (graphically), but the server will run VERY efficiently and the clients probably have the horsepower to spare.
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"It better be funny" 
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