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Man that is tough sorry to hear about it. Don't hesitate to go get some professional help, it's hard to think about going to see a counselor and even harder to actually do it (Been there done that) but you wnoder after you talked with them why you did do it sooner. As a counselor I know. Vent, talk, don't keep it in.
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"I'm not even supposed to be here today."
"I assure you we're open."
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